“I have hundreds of questions,” I said.
“Ask away. I’ll try and answer them as best I can.”
“I’ll start with an easy one first. Do angels bathe?”
Danny laughed and smiled. “We don’t need to. I find a soak in a hot bath refreshing. I do some of my best thinking when I’m soaking.”
“How did you find me and why did you save me?”
“I was on patrol in the city. The vampire was careless. Perhaps he was simply very hungry. Whatever the reason, he smelled wrong and that’s how I found him.” Danny wrinkled his nose as he remembered the smell. “Not wrong in the demonic sense, but wrong nonetheless. I came to investigate what could cause that smell in a vampire. I found him dead and you writhing in agony.”
I remembered the pain all too well and shuddered.
“How or why you survived remains a mystery. Perhaps He has a higher purpose for you. I don’t really know,” he sighed. “You’re going to have to keep a low profile for the next few days while I find out as much as I can.”
I folded my arms across my chest and narrowed my eyes.
“What do you mean?”
People were always trying to tell me what to do. I liked to make my own decisions, whether they were right or wrong. After all, it was my life. Still, there had been a time when other people exerted control over me. I wasn’t going back to that — being someone else’s pawn or plaything.
“I mean you can’t draw attention to yourself, and you definitely can’t feed until we know for sure —”
“But I’m still hungry. I have to have something proper to eat. Not like that burger,” I mumbled.
“There a difference between feeding and eating — eating is something humans and beasts do. I thought you understood you couldn’t eat after the burger incident. Eating mortal food will make you sick. Your body will reject it, and make you suffer in the process.”
I thought about my last meal — the hideous burger. I’d had food poisoning before, although my stomach’s abrupt reaction to the burger was different. For one thing, I’d barely finished it when the pain began, and secondly the pain was knife-like — a far cry from a severe stomach ache.
“If you feed off mortals, you will become one of them — a vampire — body and soul. Think of it as your being at a crossroad. The signposts mark one direction as the path to redemption, the other as the path to purgatory. Ultimately the choice is yours… I know you are not a bad person. I know you would not willingly choose purgatory.”
I know this, I know that. I felt like I was being lectured. I was not big on lectures.
“I think you place too much of that faith you’re always going on about in me. How can I survive without eating, or feeding as you put it? Surely I can’t go on forever without some form of sustenance?”
“I don’t know.” Danny shook his head. “I don’t know if a vampire has ever tried to go against their nature. We need more answers. We’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with then.”
“Talk, talk, talk — that’s all you seem to do!” I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated, and rolled my eyes towards the ceiling, before sighing and letting my hands drop. “Why don’t you just kill me now and be done with it?”
“If I need to I will.” His voice became serious and low, almost threatening. “Don’t think for a moment that I’m not capable of it. Presently you’re out of harm’s way. I will not kill you needlessly.”
I pushed him further. “But there’s still a chance I’ll be put to death regardless, isn’t there?”
“If my superior finds out, yes. Why does it matter to you?” he challenged me. “Yesterday you thought you were going to die — you begged to die — so what difference does it make?”
“The difference is choice — my choice.” I pointed to myself for emphasis. “Yesterday I chose the time and place for me to die, though admittedly it didn’t work out as I’d planned, but once that choice is taken away from me — when I’m not in control — it makes all the difference.”
It was time to change the subject in case I said something I’d regret later, which for me pretty well happened on a regular basis. My tongue had a habit of wagging before my brain could think about what I was actually saying. I was forever offending people or rubbing them up the wrong way. That was how I’d ended up the way I was — destitute and alone.
“Was there anything about me in that book you were reading?” I peered into his lap to where the book was resting.
“It has long been speculated amongst our kind that He created earth-bound angels. This book,” Danny tapped the cover, “theorises that large numbers of angels, not known to the nine, were born to mortal parents. He made them earth-bound and ignorant of their true identities, to be born over and over again until judgement day — the apocalypse — when they would be required to take care of anything evil — demon, monster and mortal alike — the same way the dinosaurs were taken care of. It is suggested He had a backup plan in the event of another infraction amongst the nine, or the nine failing Him on judgement day.”
“And somehow I could be one of these dormant earth-bound angels?”
“Dormant? I guess that’s a good way to describe it. Possibly you’re one, activated ahead of time. What affect the vampire had on your genetic make-up would need to be determined, but I digress. If He did indeed have a backup plan then it would stand to reason He wouldn’t want us to know about it. Can you imagine how the angels would feel, knowing their creator no longer trusted or had faith in them?” Danny shook his head. The implication was almost too much to bear.
“Well, how would an earth-bound angel be activated?” I asked, hungry for more information that might explain why I was still here. “Surely there must be some catalyst or trigger.”
“Judgement day would be the trigger in the natural order of events, but there’s no mention in this book about what particular event or series of events take place that is tantamount to judgement day. If we knew what those events were we could try reproducing them.” He tapped a finger against his lips, thoughtful for a moment. “Surely some of the angels within the powers, responsible for documenting our history, would have written about judgement day. They may have some idea of what I’m looking for.”
“But why would you want to bring about judgement day?” It seemed a bad idea to me, like tampering with the past to change the future.
“To activate the earth-bound angels, thereby proving their existence. Why else?”
“And what does that gain you? What if, once activated, they have to see their purpose through to the end? If the theory is they’re like some sort of doomsday army, you’d be condemning most of mankind.” My voice was getting louder. “Don’t you care about that?”
Danny’s eyes, sparkling moments before, lost some of their sheen. He said, with awe in his voice, “I can see why He still loves you, cast out of Eden as you were, women in particular.”
“What do you mean?” I was getting very irritated.
“Your ability to think beyond the boundaries of the here and now, before taking action. To think responsibly. Very few women jump into battle with their eyes closed, unlike men. I must admit that women seem much better at thinking outside the square than men,” Danny smiled and his eyes sparkled again. “Men and angels think very much alike — shoot first, ask questions later.”
“Typical,” I mumbled. “And what about the others of the nine? If you proved earth-bound angels exist, how would they react?”
“Some would be angry, but none would question His wisdom.”
“Are you sure of that? I mean, He’s had trouble with angels before,” I pointed out.
The devotion Danny displayed was getting old fast. Is he blind or has he been brainwashed into truly believing it? A benevolent God, one who cared for His creations, wouldn’t allow war, disease and famine. There would be no cancer, no AIDS and no one would be unloved. I crossed my arms and debated whether I should speak my mind. As usual, my mouth opene
d before I could finish arguing the pros and cons in my head.
“I think you give Him far too much credit. You say He’s never at fault, but it’s His creations that make the mistakes. Surely they were flawed to begin with? There is no mistake in perfection and we are not perfect!” With each word I spoke I was getting louder and louder, until I was practically yelling. “He should start taking responsibility for His creations!”
Before I could calm down and apologise, Danny was out of the chair. He grabbed my arm and pulled me along, taking four steps. At the fifth step — I noticed there was a flash of colour after the fourth step — he pushed me to the ground and continued walking without me. I climbed to my feet and began to tell him I was sorry. It was too late. He was gone and I was alone, in the middle of a forest. There was no sign of the little cottage, no identifying landmarks. I had no idea whatsoever where I was. I could be in any forest, in any state, in any country.
Beyond doubt, I was being punished for my transgression. For questioning God. I sat with my back against a tree, hugging my legs to my chest. So be it, I’d take my punishment, although if Danny wasn’t back by morning I’d need to start the trek back to civilisation — wherever that might be — on my own.
My stomach rumbled. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to last without feeding. Perhaps heading back to civilisation wasn’t such a good idea. One way or another I’d need to make some sort of a decision about what to do if Danny didn’t return for me.
When first light filtered through the trees and there was still no sign of Danny, I knew I was on my own once more. This was going to be my burden to bear. Why would an angel want to help a monster like me anyway? Apparently he’d come to his senses about helping someone — something — that was an enemy of angels and mortals alike. A creature inherently evil.
5. Chance Encounter
I stood up and turned around slowly until I’d completed a three-sixty, then sighed.
“Which way do I go?”
I had no idea what direction I was facing, and where it would take me. There did seem to be a slight incline in one direction, which would be the safest bet for steering clear of civilisation, but possibly not the best choice for finding water. I’d need water. That was the deciding factor for me. I would head in the opposite direction to the incline until I found water. Hopefully I’d find something edible along the way as well.
I set off on my chosen path. Thank goodness I’d had the sense to put on the new running shoes Danny had left for me before I’d offended his sensibilities. They weren’t the best type of footwear for this terrain, but they were a vast improvement on the sandals I’d been wearing the night I’d been changed.
Has it really only been two days since I thought I was a goner? Apart from my fingertips — the red was starting to fade — and the vomiting, which could have been attributed to severe food poisoning, nothing had really changed for me. Yes, I still felt incredibly hungry, yet who wouldn’t if they hadn’t eaten properly in days. Yes, I had been able to throw Danny off me, but that could have been due to an adrenaline rush. So how was it that Danny was so sure I was some sort of monster? Why had I been duped into believing him?
Because you’re scared it’s true!
The forest was very quiet, although I did catch a glimpse of some small animals scurrying in the opposite direction to where I was headed. Forests were not something I’d spent much time in, being a city girl, and I didn’t know if the silence was normal or not. Perhaps if the atmosphere felt peaceful and tranquil, the silence would have seemed more natural. Instead there was a palpable tension in the air, as if the trees were holding their breath, if such a thing was possible. I shivered.
The silence was eerie. There should have been some forest sounds. After all, what was a forest, but a city for animals? Could they — the animals — sense I was different? Is that why they hurried elsewhere, remaining as quiet as possible? Were they afraid of attracting my attention? I was more afraid of them, and of running into a wild animal that might attack me.
I still had so many questions going through my mind about what I was, what I’d become, and my only source of information had cast me out. The reaction of the animals now posed another question.
Danny casting me out of the cottage is just like Michael casting out Satan. That was who it was, wasn’t it, who cast out Satan? I was sure I’d heard it was Michael.
Perhaps I deserved this. Sin was in my nature, saintliness was not. Maybe as a sinner I’d got what I deserved. If my circumstances had been different — if I hadn’t been abandoned at an early age — it’s feasible I may have turned out different. So was it nurture rather than nature? Possibly. I couldn’t turn back the clock, couldn’t change the past. I could only make the best of a bad situation.
I kept walking in as straight a line as possible, taking into account all the trees I had to navigate around and the fallen branches I had to climb over. There were no tracks to indicate hikers came this way. That was a good sign. It meant I was on the right track, so to speak. My main priorities were to find food, water and shelter. Doubt began to creep in. What the heck was I doing? Danny had me so confused.
Forget about Danny and focus, Helena. Find a water source. The other two can wait for a while. Yep, water was essential.
I stopped to listen. If there was a river, creek or waterfall nearby I should be able to hear it — nothing. Maybe I could smell water instead, like being able to smell when it’s about to rain. I sniffed the air and the scents of the forest assailed my nostrils. I could smell the vitality of the trees, the cleanness of the air, the decomposing leaves under my feet and the animals’ droppings. There were others smells as well, many of which I couldn’t identify — a few sickly-sweet — bombarding me from all directions, but water was not one of them.
It was strange how vivid each of the scents was. Perhaps it was the result of being in fresh, unpolluted air. I found myself taking deeps breaths through my nose, trying to identify every individual scent.
Stop it. Use your ears, not your nose.
I continued walking and allowed my sense of hearing to range outwards. I tried to rely on my nose as little as possible. The sickly-sweet smell was becoming overbearing, almost to the point of making me nauseous.
In the distance I could hear the sounds of a ferocious fight. The snarling and growling, interspersed with yowls of pain, echoed throughout the forest. They sounded like big animals, not the little creatures I’d seen scurrying away from me. I shivered slightly, more so at the images my imagination conjured up for me, to accompany the cacophony. I’d never heard sounds like that before. They were frightening.
I hesitated. There was no way I wanted to end up in the middle of a fight, or worse, as a meal for a pack of wild animals. As I tried to decide which way would be the best direction to take — to give the fight a wide berth — I heard a distressed howl, then silence. Everything was quiet again.
I angled off to the left, not wanting a chance encounter with whatever animals had been involved in the fight. If I was lucky they were busy eating their prey and wouldn’t catch sight or scent of me.
My decision had been a good one. Within half an hour I heard the faint sound of water, and it was this sound I followed, until I reached a grassy clearing divided near enough through the middle by a shallow brook.
I looked around cautiously from the cover of the trees. A number of trees had fallen down at some time, fashioning this small glade. Most of the wood had rotted away and only a few stumps remained.
Not seeing or hearing anything out of the ordinary, I ventured out into the small patch of sunshine. The sun felt good on my face and its warmth made me realise how cold I’d been, travelling in the gloom of the forest.
I knelt by the brook and splashed my face with water. It was icy cold and I gasped involuntarily. I wiped my face on the sleeve of my jumper, closed my eyes and raised my face to the sun again, soaking up the warmth and waiting for feeling to return to my numb nose. It was then I sense
d something was watching me.
My heart should have been pounding in my chest with fear, but it wasn’t. My stomach should have been in knots, but it wasn’t. I was strangely calm and serene. For all I knew it was a predatory animal, come to eat or drink — perhaps both. The thought didn’t bother me as it had when I’d heard the growling and snarls earlier on. I should be scared, but I wasn’t.
Surely it was Danny who was watching me. It was the only explanation for my lack of fear. On some subconscious level I must have known I wasn’t in any danger.
“You can come out, Danny,” I said.
I cupped my hands and lowered them into the icy water. I heard the sound of soft footsteps behind me. Yes, footsteps — two legs, not four. So it was Danny!
I quenched my thirst with the water. It had an odd metallic aftertaste. Perhaps the brook was fed by a mineral spring. I filled my hands twice more before the thirst gave way to pain.
I wrapped my arms around my abdomen and moaned, doubling over in pain.
Not again.
Danny made no move to assist me and I leaned away from the brook as the heaving began. The pain was not as sharp as it had been when I’d eaten the burger, but it was unpleasant nonetheless. The water must’ve been polluted, and my body, being weak, was reacting to it.
Tears welled up in my eyes, my nose began to run, and my cheeks were aflame. The heaving continued and there was nothing I could do but ride it out, taking quick breaths in-between.
Eventually the heaving subsided and I collapsed on my side, exhausted. Lack of food and good clean water — along with all the exercise trekking through the forest — was taking its toll on me. I needed to rest.
The sun disappeared momentarily as a shadow passed over me. I heard Danny kneel down beside me and felt his icy fingers grip my arm through the jumper. His hands were colder than mine and I shivered. Yesterday — or was it the day before — they had been so warm. Could his mood affect his body temperature? Warm when he was content and happy, cold when he was angry.
Angel's Kiss Page 4