by Sasha Lord
“We climb down,” she replied tartly. “Kindly move back so I can retrieve my petticoat.”
He shook his head. “I think we should leave it there and let the curator wonder at how it got up there. Maybe the lasses will start leaving petticoats instead of bells.
“No!” Kassandra gasped. “That would be . . . be . . .”
“Disrespectful? What do you think the curator would think if he found out that we had christened his chapel in our unique way?”
Unable to form an adequate response, Kassandra searched for the safest way down. Tucking her skirt up into her waistband, she carefully lowered herself from one row of beams to the next until she reached the scaffolding bolted against the incomplete wall. Aware that he was following close behind, she scrambled to the ground and quickly adjusted her skirts.
He laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. “Now I know why I find you so unusual. No lady would have done what you just did.”
Kassandra froze, her heart skidding to a stop. The pleasure of the moment fled as she was forced to remember her charade.
“Don’t look so crestfallen,” he said softly. “I like you as you are. Look, I bought you a present.” He pulled out the garnet charm and held it out to her. “I want you to be my mistress. I want to give you a cottage and take care of you.”
“A mistress? A woman seeking no commitment and wanting nothing but your cock and coin?” She snatched the necklace and bunched it in her fist, her blue eyes flashing. “Did you think I did this for want of funds?”
He stepped back, surprised by her vehemence. “I don’t think of you as just a mistress. I am fond of you and look forward to spending time with you. There are many things I cannot explain to you, but suffice it to say, this is the best arrangement. It will serve everyone’s needs.”
Kassandra tossed her red hair, her temper rising. The rules Kalial had tried to instill in her dictated that she force her temper into submission, quash her normal response and try to act with ladylike maturity. But as the tiger kitten, she could be herself, a flame-haired hellion. She could act as wild and temperamental as she wished. And right now, she wanted to exact her revenge.
“I’m done with you,” she growled. “No commitment? Just flesh and pleasure? Very well, then one day I might let you know if I desire to be with you again.”
Cadedryn frowned and gripped her arm. He had opened his mouth to argue with her when the wedding planners reentered the chapel.
“Oh!” the daughter shrieked at her father. “Thank you!”
The father glanced with weary resignation at the couple standing in the pews. “Anything for me daughter.” He sighed helplessly.
Kassandra took Cadedryn’s momentary distraction to yank free of his grasp.
“Meet me tomorrow in the meadow beyond the crofter’s hut,” he commanded, although his voice sounded faintly desperate.
She blew him a kiss as she shrugged noncommittally, then strode out of the chapel, leaving him standing alone with no assurances and a wealth of unsatisfied needs.
Chapter 16
“She is driving me insane!” Cadedryn grumbled as he slammed his fist against the gate to the men’s courtyard and kicked it open. As he and Curtis walked inside, Cadedryn shook his head. He couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t think of anything at all but her. She was like one of the magical druids that, once seen, were able to control one’s mind and soul. Yet he couldn’t decide which one of them was causing him more distress. Both Lady Kassandra and his tiger kitten were deliberately stirring his body and mind.
No, not Lady Kassandra. She was not to blame. She was too sweet to be knowingly churning his soul, but his tigress . . . Now, that woman was doing everything with forethought and planning.
He snorted as he picked up a sword and took a few practice swings. He and Kaitlynn were well matched. But, then, why did he constantly think about Kassandra?
“Who is driving you insane?” Curtis asked.
“The women. All of them,” Cadedryn answered angrily.
“Lady Corine awaited your attentions today,” his friend reminded him.
“I don’t want her,” Cadedryn whispered, then turned to his friend. “I don’t know whom I should marry, but I don’t want Corine. Kaitlynn is wild and exciting and . . . and . . .”
Curtis stared at his foster brother in horror. “She is only a lowborn girl with a pretty face. How can you even mention her and marriage in one breath? Everything you have ever wanted lies within your grasp!”
Cadedryn shrugged as he lunged at a stuffed burlap figure mounted on a stake. “Have I not labored under similar aspersions all my life? Have I not been called much worse?”
Curtis stepped in front of Cadedryn and gripped his shoulders. “You are about to erase all of that. Success is only months away! The king is pleased with you and has given you your title. With luck, his benevolence will wipe away any stigma previously associated with your family. That is your goal. After you wed Corine, all will be as it should have been. It is what my father, your foster father, wants. ’Tis what Lady Morgana wants, and the king has indicated his approval, as well. Marry Lady Corine. Wed her and put this flame-haired woman out of your mind!”
Cadedryn gently disengaged his friend’s hands and leaned against his sword. “Curtis, you don’t understand. It is not just her; it is both of them. When I am with either of them, I forget all this. It doesn’t matter who I am or what name I am called. I feel renewed.”
Curtis spun and slammed his fist against the wall. “No!” he shouted. “You can not do this! You cannot destroy everything! Your actions affect me, Lady Corine, and all who have supported you in this battle. Think of Lady Morgana and my father. Do our needs not matter to you?”
Cadedryn looked at Curtis. “Why is it so important to you?”
“You are important to me. My father took you in and treated you like one of his sons. Are you prepared to tell him that you want to throw it all away on some wench? Just like your father did?”
Cadedryn’s eyes turned cold. “While I value your advice, my life is my own. ’Tis clear that we cannot speak of this matter.” He slid his sword in its leather sheath. “I have an engagement to take a ride with Lady Kassandra. Perhaps she will understand my feelings, for she understands love. Let us forget our disagreement and remain friends.”
Curtis clenched his teeth, his jaw ticking. He glared into Cadedryn’s green eyes, trying to intimidate him with the force of his stare.
Cadedryn stared back, his gaze steady and sure.
Finally, Curtis lowered his eyes and mumbled assent. “Very well, Cadedryn. Friends as always.”
Cadedryn grinned and slapped him on the back. “Good! I will see you later this eve.”
Cadedryn was whistling when he approached the stable and saw Lady Kassandra already waiting for him. He had sent a note requesting her attendance and was inordinately pleased that she had agreed to meet him for the promised ride. She was dressed in a soft lavender gown, wearing a dark purple mantle clasped to her head with a silver coronet. Her thick black hair was visible beneath the soft fabric and her pale skin gleamed in the sunlight.
“Milady.” He bowed. “You are prompt.”
“And you are tardy,” she replied.
“My apologies. Shall we ride in the forest or along the hills? I would like to spend some time with you without an audience,” he said quietly. “Would you accept riding without a chaperone?”
“As long as you promise to act like a gentleman,” she answered, her voice colored with wry sarcasm.
As Cadedryn swung up on his stallion, he looked at her with amusement. “Why are you annoyed with me today? Don’t you have some kind thoughts for me?”
Kassandra looked ahead, avoiding his dancing gaze. “Not this morn.”
“Yes, you do,” he said softly. “I don’t believe that you have forgotten your dreams. You tried to fool me the other night, but I think I have seen through your charade.”
She harrumphed and mounted
her mare sidesaddle with the assistance of a groom. “I doubt that,” she grumbled.
“Don’t you find it difficult to continue such animosity? It must be a struggle to maintain such sharp wit at my expense when your heart is kind and forgiving to all others.”
“Hardly. You make an easy target.”
He laughed and motioned for her to take the lead. “And you awoke with a burr in your side. Let us ride and allow the winds to clear your mind.”
She rode out of the yard, spending some moments to ensure that her mare’s injuries were not paining her too much for light exercise. After several minutes of silence, Kassandra relaxed and glanced behind her at Cadedryn. “You have not asked for the knife.”
He shook his head to dispel his thoughts, temporarily distracted by the sway of Kassandra’s hips on her mare. “Do you have it?”
She slowed her mount and pulled the dirk from her pocket. “Here. Now you can achieve all you want. You are an earl and you will soon have Lady Corine’s hand in marriage. Then you will unite your lands and become one of the most powerful earls in the kingdom. I . . . I hope that by returning the blade to you I have helped. I know ’tis hard for you to understand, but I searched for the owner of this knife because I feared the outcome of one of my dreams. There are powerful forces within this dirk . . . It came to me from the other world and has brought us together, but you are still in danger. I pray that this weapon will protect you.”
He took the engraved dirk and turned it over in his hand. “Lady Kassandra,” he said slowly, “I have something to ask you.”
“Indeed?”
He reached over and pulled her horse to a stop. His gaze swept over her features. “You look so much like each other,” he said.
Kassandra’s heart pounded and she held her breath. Had he discovered the truth? “Like whom?” she struggled to ask through a closed throat.
“Like your sister Kaitlynn. You are a lady, whereas she is not. But you both have made me question my ambitions.”
Her face drained of all color and she swayed in the saddle.
“I want to tell you, because you are the only person who might understand me. You spoke of your dreams and true love. You know what it is to feel such emotions. I need your help.”
“My help?” she coughed. “How do you require my help?”
“I no longer wish to marry Corine Fergus. You once told me that a cold bedfellow would not compensate for a lofty title, and I have begun to understand what you meant.”
The blood rushed back into her cheeks and Kassandra saw spots dancing in front of her eyes. Her lips trembled. Swallowing several times, she cast about for an answer.
“You have made me reevaluate my aspirations. All this struggling for recognition is pointless if I am unhappy.”
Kassandra clucked to her horse, desperately sorting her emotions.
Cadedryn followed her. “What should I do?”
Kassandra glanced back. “Why ask me?” “I need your advice.”
She looked at him in stunned disbelief.
“You are the one who believes in following your heart. I thought you would understand.”
“I cannot guide you.”
He glared at her. “What game is this?” he said with a raised voice. “You pledged your everlasting devotion to me only days ago, and now you hesitate to take advantage of my indecision? I thought you would be ecstatic! Are you not going to demand that we wed? Are you not willing to ignore the consequences and declare your love?”
She bit her lip, her blue eyes shimmering with tears. “Cadedryn,” she whispered. “I can’t help you because I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want you to leave all that you desire just for an emotion that may wane. Love cannot be created from the mists of a hopeful dream. You told me that I was being childish and naive, and you were right. What do we really know about each other?”
“I know you are a good woman with a gentle soul. I feel I can trust you as I can trust no other.”
Pain knifed through her as she remembered his words to his tigress. They had also spoken of trust up in the rafters of the church, yet now he spoke of it again to her. Her gaze narrowed. “Am I the only woman who is important to you?”
Cadedryn turned away, his stomach roiling with tension. He had such conflicting emotions. Kassandra was the type of woman he could feel close to, whereas Kaitlynn was the kind of woman that made him forget everything. One made him calm, while the other made his heart thunder. If only both women were merged into one . . .
Kassandra waited, hoping he would tell her the truth. If he did, she would relent. She would tell him the truth, in time, and explain why she had undertaken her dual identities. They would start anew and learn to love each other as she had originally hoped.
“Never mind,” he muttered. “I am speaking out of turn. Forget my ramblings and let us enjoy the afternoon. You deserve much better than me, for I do not understand what I feel. I am full of contradictions.”
Kassandra leaned forward. “Tell me,” she replied urgently. “You said we should have trust between us.”
Cadedryn flicked his hand in dismissal. “No. I do not want to hurt you.” He released her horse’s reins and clucked to his stallion.
Kassandra closed her eyes, willing away her tears. He was correct in one thing. She did understand love, but now she understood that love was not only about her emotions; it was also about caring for the other person’s needs and desires. If she said that they should marry, he might agree, but in doing so, he would be abandoning the goals he held dear.
And whom would he be agreeing to wed? Lady Kassandra, the black-haired woman in disguise, or Kaitlynn, the flame-haired temptress who used her body to draw him close?
Both women were, in part, an illusion.
“Come,” Cadedryn called out to her, unaware of her thoughts. “Forget what I said. Let us enjoy the pleasures of an afternoon ride and picnic, for I have a basket of cheese and wine that the kitchen servants packed for us and I do not want it to go to waste.”
Kassandra nodded hesitantly.
He smiled. “Don’t look so anxious. I am the one who should be tied in knots, not you. A man unsure of his path is like a ship adrift without a rudder. I need your calming influence to remind me to stay the course.”
They rode in silence, following the same path that led to the crofter’s hut before angling off in a new direction. Sunshine trickled through the trees and laid flickering patterns of gold upon the forest floor. Up ahead, an open meadow shimmered with yellow tansy and purple heather and undulating rows of fragrant green grasses. Even the birds trilled joyous songs of summertime happiness.
Kassandra ignored it all. Butterflies danced in the pit of her stomach and her palms became damp with sweat. A new emotion began to simmer to the surface. She felt jealous.
Jealous of Kaitlynn.
Why hadn’t he told her the truth about the other woman? Why was he hiding his thoughts and actions? Was he fonder of the tiger kitten than of the lady? Did he not feel the same depth of attraction to the lady as he did to Kaitlynn?
“Is something bothering you?” Cadedryn asked as he pulled his horse to a stop and dismounted. He looped the reins over a branch and held his hands up to assist her descent.
“No,” Kassandra replied sharply as she jumped to the ground on her own and twitched her skirts in irritation.
He raised an eyebrow and offered his elbow to help her navigate a large log.
“I don’t need your help,” she snapped. “I am perfectly able to climb over a log on my own. Is that our destination?” she asked as she pointed through the trees toward the open meadow.
He laughed. “Do you reserve this brand of affection solely for me?”
She couldn’t stop from curling her lips in a faint smile. “I am being rather rude, aren’t I?”
“Just a tad.”
They exited the shimmering shadows and stepped out into the bright sunshine. He touched the wrinkle between her brows and cocked
his head in inquiry. “Won’t you forgive me? You said that you will be leaving soon. Let us separate on good terms.”
She smiled.
“Here.” He found a smooth area free of rocks, then unfolded the blanket covering the picnic basket and snapped it open. “Sit, rest and relax. We will eat cheese, drink wine and say our good-byes.” He clasped his hands to his heart and acted as if he were swooning with despair.
She couldn’t help it. She giggled.
He raised his brows several times, then swept her a flourishing bow. “Milady?”
“You can be surprisingly amusing,” she relented as she sat down. “Every now and then I see a glimpse of your humor.”
“What are friends for but to amuse and entertain each other?”
“Friends?”
He touched her cheek, noticing a small freckle peeking through the layers of heavy cream. “Aye. Good friends.” He stared at the freckle as a slight frown furrowed his brow.
She sighed and leaned back on her hands. He was right. All this deception had been exhausting. What harm would it cause if they simply relaxed for the afternoon and enjoyed the sunshine?
He shook his head to clear his stray thoughts, then began unpacking the basket.
Several hours and many cups of wine later, the two lay in the grass and stared up at the billowing clouds floating across the blue expanse. “I am not fond of court,” Kassandra admitted. “I much prefer the beauty of the forest or the magic of the meadow. All the primping required for the castle functions is simply dull and useless.”
He turned and faced her. “You stun me, Lady Kassandra. You are always dressed so finely and you wear such formal attire, even here far away from everyone. If you dislike it, why do you still wear your mantle?”
Kassandra touched the sides of her face where her silken hairpiece covered her wig. “I don’t like my hair.”
He looked closer at a black ringlet dangling from her temple. This close, he could see how coarse it was. Her words reveberated in his head, echoing another woman’s lament. Kaitlynn didn’t like her hair either. How odd these women could be.