Torn (Torn Heart)

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Torn (Torn Heart) Page 12

by Brewer, Annie


  “I’m not Jared. I’m not smart like him. I’m not respectful or considerate. I can’t do calculus as well as he can. I don’t always take life seriously. I curse worse than a sailor.”

  I hold my hand up, stopping him. I don’t get it. “Okay, you’re not Jared.” I state the obvious. “First of all, if you were, we wouldn’t be on this date. Second, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. Third, everyone lives their lives differently. You like to live life on the edge, you’re adventurous. There’s nothing wrong with it. You have to stop comparing yourself to your brother. You’re total opposites, night and day, chocolate and vanilla. Mysterious and predictable.” He laughs a little. “Oh and the cursing, I like. I might not do it that often, but…I like when you do it. Don’t ask me why, I just do.” Jackson makes the ‘F’ word sound sexy, which is weird considering that it’s offensive, but nonetheless, I love it out of his mouth.

  Silence stretches out for miles between us while he watches me and looks out at the water as if he doesn’t know what else to say, making me feel further from him than I’d like to be. Finally, I get up and pull him up with me. “I’m not spending this date in silence. I could do that at home in my dark room.”

  “Okay, so how do we remedy that?” I start walking toward the shore and it’s like the lightbulb just goes off in his head. He starts shaking his head, not keen on the idea. “Oh Sky, we don’t have extra clothes.”

  I ignore him, walking further in. “Oh come on, you’re the adventurous one. They’re just clothes, they’ll dry.” The water laps around my ankles, the bottom of my dress getting wet, biting my legs.

  I hear his voice grow closer from behind. “We’re not eight anymore.”

  I laugh, remembering all the times we came out here with my dad. I never went in the water with a bathing suit on. I always had regular clothes and nothing to change into, but I survived. It beats just sitting there quietly. I move further away from him, the water coming up to my knees now. Jackson finally plays along, chasing after me, making loud noises. I can feel the rocks under my feet cut into my heels as I rush to the opposite side. But I kind of want him to catch me, so I slow down a fraction.

  When he reaches me, I pretend to lose my footing and go under water, keeping my eyes closed. I squeal when a hand grabs my arm. He pulls me up, with a sly grin. “You really thought you could get away from me?” He teases. “I’m much quicker.”

  I bashfully say, “Maybe I didn’t want to get away from you.” His expression turns serious while his blue eyes gaze into my plain brown ones. I freeze at the touch of his hand on my cheek. My throat goes dry. He lets his gorgeous blues wander down my face, memorizing my imperfections like a painting. Heat rushes to my cheeks despite the chill in the air.

  He lifts my chin with a finger, tilting my head back. “Skylar, you have to know I’ve always had these intense feelings for you.” His voice soft, setting off the swarms of butterflies in my belly to run rampant. I can’t breathe, or speak, I just listen. “I know I never showed it beyond our friendship. But I felt it was easier to seal these walls of uncertainty, than to be free, to feel and act on them.” His thumb traces my cheekbone.

  I lift my hand up to cover his and when I find my voice, I say “It’s okay to feel scared. You have to allow yourself to feel every emotion, good and bad. It’s the only way you can fully experience anything. Don’t let the fear control you, just let yourself feel.”

  The cold wind bites at my back but I ignore it. I’ll feel the cold, as long as I can feel this moment right here, right now. I breathe him in and close my eyes to soak up his touch. Just before I open them, the press of his lips against mine sends my body into an uncontrollable frenzy. His mouth moves with mine like they were made for each other. At first, the kiss is soft and sweet. But then he urges my lips to part with his and I oblige as his tongue slips through, seeking mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It’s our first real kiss. One I’ll remember for as long as I’m breathing.

  He pulls back, holding my face in his palms. “Are you cold?”

  My eyes open slowly, “You stopped kissing me to ask me that?” My voice incredulous, but playful.

  He chuckles. Our foreheads touching; our breaths decreasing and becoming normal again. “Sorry, I don’t want you to get sick.”

  “I’ll live.” Without another word or thought, I grab his face and kiss him with everything I have. All the times I wanted to kiss him but was too afraid of rejection. I pour every bit of myself into the kiss, and by the ferocity of it coming from his part; so does he. The only sounds I take note of are the smacking of our lips, the moans coming from his throat, or maybe from mine. I’ve lost all senses by now to care. So far, my first date has been one that most would dream of, one that you read about in fairytales. And the night is still young.

  By the time we walk back to his car, I’m shivering in my soaked dress. My teeth are chattering in my mouth, loud in my ears. Jackson quickly opens the trunk, producing a blanket.

  I glance in surprise at the convenience of the situation. “How appropriate.” I gratefully step into his open arms as he wraps it around my back. His hands move up and down my shoulders, trying to warm me up.

  “I usually keep a blanket in here, for just in cases. I’m glad I didn’t bring it in the house.” Noticing my trembling body, he steps closer to me. “I’ll get the heater started.”

  As he steps away, my hand moves out from behind the blanket and catches his arm, stopping him from leaving. I catch his curious eyes. “It’s okay; we’ll get in the car in a minute. I just-“ My voice shakes a little with nerves and the cold. “I’d rather be wrapped up in your arms.” Even though he took his shirt off when we got out of the water, I can see him shake slightly. “Unless you’re really cold, too.”

  “You’re fucking adorable when you’re nervous.” He brushes hair from my face.

  I use part of the blanket to help scratch an itch on my nose. “Who said I was nervous?” I try to act casual but I suck at keeping a poker face and he knows it. “Yeah, I’m nervous and cold, I’ll admit it. But you’re sexy when you say nice things to me.”

  His thumb lightly traces the outline of my mouth, the cold and nerves forgotten. “You’ll be hearing many more nice things from me, Sky. I’ll tell you every day that you’re my best friend, that being with you compels me to want to be a better person.” I grab onto his side for support and run my hand up his perfectly defined stomach. “And if that makes me sexy to you, then that’s a bonus.”

  “Okay, let’s take this in the car with the heater on full blast and the music blaring with the windows down.”

  He smiles down at me and places a sweet kiss on my cheek. “I’m totally down with that idea.” We get in the car; turn the heater on as I sift through his CD case.

  Growing up, we had different tastes in music. I liked the Oldies and he was a rock/alternative fan. But flipping through his CD’s, I see our tastes have merged. I’m more of a rock fan now, too. I’ll listen to pop, but I prefer Nickelback or U2. When I find Thirty Seconds to Mars, I take it out and thrust it into the CD player.

  “Where to now?” I ask him, turning the volume down.

  Waiting for it to get warmer, he leans back in his seat and checks his phone. I take mine out and set it in my lap so I remember to text Randa in a little bit. Maybe give her a sliver of juicy details.

  “We can walk around Walmart and play in the kids section.”

  I raise a brow, but slightly interested in his suggestion. “So you take all your dates to the kids section at Walmart?”

  Reaching out to face the hot air on me, he clears his throat. “Nah, all my other dates got to be too predictable. Too boring. I like a girl with a sense of humor and adventure. I think you’re the go-with-the-flow type. You don’t need someone to buy you expensive shit or take you to some over-priced restaurant. I swear Amber’s taste was ridiculous.” Casually, his fingers caress my leg, making me shiver but this time having nothing t
o do with the cold. I’m pretty warm now, temperature-wise. But inside, I’m practically melting. He stops and I look up, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about her when I’m with you. Or at all, actually.” He shakes his head. “So? Does it sound like a plan? Or we could go somewhere else, if you want.”

  I take his hand and hold it in my lap. “You’re right; I am the go-with-the-flow type. And a trip to the kids’ section at Walmart sounds perfect.” He squeezes my hand still clasped in his. “But first,” I add, “I need dry clothes, so a trip back home is needed.”

  “Or you can buy a new dress there.”

  I think about it for a minute and shake my head. “I don’t want a new dress. I need some shorts now. We’re not going anywhere that requires Sunday best.”

  “Alright, to your house we go.”

  Chapter 16

  Jackson

  At Walmart, we first walk around each aisle aimlessly. I don’t plan on buying shit, but the fact that Skylar’s here with me and doesn’t mind walking in a store for nothing other than the purpose to window shop is fucking sexy. I could never get Amber to go anywhere unless I told her I’d buy her something after her constant begging. I finally stopped asking her to go to the store, period. She’s the type that expects gifts, even on a regular day of the week. I don’t have to worry about that with Skylar. Not only does she not expect gifts, she also loves to do things I enjoy. She’s a lot like me in the sense that as long as we’re together, she’s content to do anything. Or even nothing.

  But that’s always been Skylar. The girl I’ve longed to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and compliment her for no reason. The girl that also terrifies me to my very core. I’m worried I’ll fuck this up somehow. She deserves so much, yet what can I really give her? Besides a piece of me that no one’s ever received. No one’s ever been worthy of.

  We stop by the kids’ bikes and I take a dirtbike out and sit on it. I used to own one similar as a kid. God, I remember tearing the shit out of it on the hills. Skylar watches me before strolling down the next aisle. I ride down the aisle once before skipping to the Transformer’s toys. My phone alerts me of a text and I pray that it’s not from my ex. But I breathe a sigh of relief when I see it’s from Jake.

  Jake: What are you doing tonight? Wanna bust out some football on the Xbox?

  Me: Sorry can’t man, on a date. Maybe later this week.

  Jake: Oh? Don’t tell me you found your balls and actually asked Skylar out? I’ll die of shock.

  I laugh out loud just as Skylar comes up beside me. “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh Jake’s text. He’s a dumbass.” I joke and then I text him back.

  Me: Dude, watch it. I’ve always had my balls; they’d just been hiding while I was with Amber. But all’s good, now. Now quit interrupting our night, fucker.

  I stick my phone back in my pocket and casually take hold of her hand as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And in some ways, it is.

  We gaze at the toys for another thirty minutes before I find this idea silly and pointless. “Anything you wanna do?” I ask, opening her door. And as I suspected, we left the store empty-handed. God, this is such a simple, yet perfect date.

  When I get in and start the car, I glance over her appearance; white shorts and a red tank top cut low at the neck. I don’t gawk at her too long, knowing my male parts would start screaming for some kind of connection with her female anatomy. I won’t go there; not for a while. I’m just starting to reconnect with her and as much I’d love to connect with her physically, I won’t push her. We need to go on several more dates first, learn more about each other from the inside out.

  She looks out her window, scanning the area around us for ideas. God, she’s beautiful when she’s in concentration. I watch as she turns to look at me, biting on a smile. “We could shoot some pool…?” She suggests.

  I grin. “Really? You want to?” I didn’t know she liked pool. I enjoy it and throwing some darts. There’s only one place we can go to that doesn’t require 21 and older.

  “Okay, let’s do it.” I put the car in reverse and back out of my space. “Do you know to play?” I ask her, curious.

  She shakes her head, “You can teach me.” The smile she directs my way sends crazy sensations through my being. Oh yeah, I can definitely teach her.

  I pull up to the pool hall, taking a quick scan of the semi-vacant parking lot. It’s a small building that used to be a Mexican restaurant that went under but was turned into a pool hall for teenagers. It’s fairly new and the first teen hangout spot I’ve come across. It’s owned by some guy named Jasper who wanted kids in our town to have some sort of entertainment and not requiring any age limit. He named it Jasper’s Entertainment. But there’s no smoking; and on that note, I realize I haven’t had a cigarette since before dinner. I guess being with Skylar, I don’t need it. Wow, what’s she doing to me?

  “Hey,” Skylar says to me from her opened door. “Are you coming?”

  “Yep, I’m coming.”

  We walk in and the lights are dim with disco colors. Over the sounds of balls being hit, darts being thrown and pins knocked over, I check for familiar faces. I relax when I see no one that’d stir up trouble.

  I take Skylar’s hand and lead her to the counter where we ask for a pool table. I pay, grab the balls and saunter to a high round table. “Do you want a snack? They have burgers, fries or ice cream.” I set the balls on the table before searching for a pool stick.

  Skylar’s at the table; surveying the numbers on the balls. “I smell popcorn,” She says wrinkling her nose. I tell her that in fact, they do have popcorn and nachos, too. “I want popcorn, please.”

  I wait for a minute before going to the café. A laugh slips out as I watch Skylar try to figure out how the game of billiards works. It amuses me that she’s never played, but I guess I shouldn’t complain since I get to be the one to teach her. “I’ll be right back. I’ll teach you everything you should know about pool.”

  “Ha, am I that obvious? Wait, don’t answer that.” A ball moves from one side of the table to the other as she rolls it back and forth. “I’m so lame.”

  “And I’m going to have so much fun showing you.” I walk away without correcting her on the lame comment. She’s far from that, though.

  I return to her with a bag of popcorn, two sodas and nachos for me. I take a quick gulp of my drink and stop at the table. “Okay, it’s time for a lesson.” She’s eating at the table, taking bites of both her food and mine. And I secretly love it. “Hey, I don’t share food.” I tease her with a mock-glare, but when she drops the chip back on my plate, I quickly tell her she can have it. “I was kidding, Sky. I don’t mind sharing, as long as you share your popcorn.”

  She nods, takes a bite of the chip and stands by me. “Sorry, I’m hungry. Don’t let me have any more of your nachos. Seriously, I’ll eat them all. They’re so good.” While chalking my stick, I chuckle. She looks around, assessing the little place. “Why did I never know about this hangout?”

  I shrug, “It’s pretty new. Like,” I squint an eye in thought, “A year, maybe.”

  “I love it. It’s so quaint. I also love to bowl, by the way.”

  I smirk. “Perfect. Now I know where to take you for our second date.”

  She gives me a flirty smile and leans against the table, a little too closely. She smells intoxicating, breaking my focus. “So, you’re saying there’s gonna be a second date?”

  I look up, meeting her halfway, my lips stopping just inches of hers, our breaths mixing with the air. “For as long as I have you, there’s gonna be a lot more dates to come.” My head snaps back as hers come forward. “Nuh-uh. Now is the time for your pool lesson.”

  She pouts mockingly, taking the stick I give to her. “Okay, so Teach, what do I do first?”

  “I’m going to break. After I rack the balls, that is.” I get the triangle and situate the balls, explaining the process as I go. When I’m ready to break, I tell her how to
position her legs and where the pool stick sets on your hand. “Some people break hard, it all depends how much oomph you put into it. Just brace yourself against the table and hit the balls, scatter them about so you sink at least one into the pocket.” When I break, several of them split up and a couple of stripes go in.

  “You got some stripey balls.”

  I look for my next shot and line them up with the cue ball; I miss, purposely. “Okay, your turn.”

  She glances at me, hesitant. “Okay, so does that mean I’m the solid colors?” I nod, so she walks around the table looking for a possible shot. I come up from behind, startling her.

  I order her lightly, my lips at her ear. “Relax,” My arm wraps around her, setting the stick into position. I can feel her heart race through her clothes, matching my own unsteady beat. Our bodies so close. “Okay, you wanna aim for that ball,” I point to it with the tip and show her what part of cue ball to hit. The contact of her skin mixed with her perfume makes me dizzy, in the best possible way. I take a deep breath and shake my senses back into place. “Now easy,” Our hands move back slowly before connecting with the ball. It knocks the balls around the table and one falls into the pocket.

  “I got one!” Her face lights up as she hugs me.

  “See? Easy peasy. Now, try it again.” I step away from her. “This time, on your own.”

  Her face turns into a frown. “Boo. I’m better with you helping me.” She bats her eyelashes and I wonder where the hell this girl came from. She makes me weak in the knees with just a look. Just one fucking look.

  “Sorry, but you’re distracting, Sky. And I know you can do it by yourself. I’ve got complete faith in you.” I walk to the table and sit down, my nerves running amuck. I take a bite of my nachos, hoping it’ll clear the fog in my brain.

  “Are you watching me?” She asks and I nod, half-heartedly. I watch her play from then on. She does everything I showed her and with ease. She sinks another ball in and squeals. We play several games and eat our snacks. Skylar decides she’d rather observe everyone else playing pool, so we find a table where she can watch their moves closely. I watch her some of the time; admiring her free-spirit. I’d steal little kisses, secret touches, making her want more, which only makes me want her more.

 

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