Taking a Knee

by Sean Ashcroft

  It wasn't as though Jace was about to engage in a series of marriages with total strangers for green cards. This was a special case, a favor for the best friend he couldn't imagine losing. If the system was meant to let you keep your loved ones close, they were using it exactly as intended.

  “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Noah said. “And I mean that sincerely. I’d be honored to marry you, but I need to be sure you’re happy to go through with it. It’s kind of a long-term commitment.”

  “Dude, I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t. I love you, man. This is a way better use of my right to marry than… what? Waiting around for the right girl? We’ve only gotta be married for three years. I can wait that long.”

  “Okay,” Noah said. “Okay, fine. We get married. This is a terrible idea and it’s gonna come back and bite us in the ass. But we get married.”

  Jace grinned. “Awesome. I’ll go tomorrow for a license.”

  “No, I’ll go. I don’t have work to go to, and you do. You’re doing more than enough for me.”

  Jace shrugged, going back to eating his meal. He could stand to have someone around to cook for him on occasion, so he was getting more out of this arrangement than he’d thought about already. “I’m doing what friends do. That’s all.”

  “Yeah, yeah. This is why we call you Nyquil. You’re incredibly sweet.”

  “But I will knock you the fuck out,” Jace finished, smiling. He’d always liked the joke, especially because Noah had come up with it. They’d been fresh meat—new derby players—together, and they’d bonded pretty much instantly. They were already derby husbands. Being actual, legal husbands was almost a logical next step for them. If Jace had been anything other than straight, he would have been interested in Noah anyway. Noah was smart, and funny, and got Jace on a level most people never really did. That was something special.

  Knowing that Noah wasn’t about to move back to another country took a weight off Jace’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure he could have kept going to derby without Noah. He wasn’t sure he could have kept living his life the way he did without Noah, considering how much he’d come to mean to him. Now, hopefully, he’d never have to find out.

  Chapter Five

  Noah dumped the last box of his stuff on the floor of Jace’s living room—well, their living room, now—and flopped down on the couch. His apartment had come fully furnished, but luckily, Jace had a spare bed for him. And a room that had previously been used as storage. As far as Noah could tell, the only thing really being stored in there was the bed.

  Noah suspected Jace had a roommate at some point, and had never bothered to get another one when the last one moved out. Nurses weren’t the best paid people in the world, but Jace’s income was stable and the rent wasn’t so high in this neighborhood. He probably didn’t need a roommate.

  They’d both save a lot of money by having one, though, which was a nice extra. Noah would be able to appreciate it more once he caught his breath again.

  He knew that if he’d waited until after Jace finished work, like he was supposed to, Jace would have helped. Considering what Jace was already doing for him, though, he didn’t want to burden him any further.

  A few minutes of rest, and he’d be fine. He hadn’t accumulated too much stuff over the three years he’d been living in his old place, and he hadn’t brought much with him, either. Clothes, a single box of books, and slightly more computer parts than anyone needed.

  He should probably have thrown out some of the computer parts, but he was convinced all of them would serve a purpose one day. They’d all been things other people were throwing out. What had started as a small collection had quickly grown into a problem, and Noah hadn’t realized how much so until he’d had to move them up two flights of stairs. Now that he’d moved them, he probably wouldn’t even think about them again until the next time he had to move them. Such was the nature of useless junk.

  On the plus side, the walk-up to Jace’s place would keep him in peak derby fitness all year round. Noah had a bad habit of letting his fitness lapse between seasons, which Jace had never seemed to fall victim to. Though Noah had been to his apartment before, he’d never really thought about the stairs until today. Making five trips in a row up and down them while carrying heavy boxes was slightly more difficult than climbing them once, hanging out for a few hours, and then climbing down them again. He should have paid the guy with the van he’d hired another fifty bucks to help him, but it was too late now.

  Once he caught his breath, Noah got up and headed to the kitchen. He wanted to have dinner in progress when Jace got home. Jace was doing a lot for him, though he didn’t seem to see it that way. In exchange, Noah intended to be the best damn fake husband who’d ever lived.

  The fridge yielded bacon, cheese, beer, and an assortment of condiments, some of which were past their used-by date. Noah couldn’t help laughing. This was exactly what he imagined the inside of Jace’s fridge would look like when he wasn’t prepared for company.

  It didn’t help him with dinner, though. He took out his phone to send Jace a text.

  What do you want to eat tonight?

  Do not make me dinner, came Jace’s reply.

  Noah’s heart sank. He wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he didn’t think he was that bad.

  Why?

  Because it’s my turn.

  Noah couldn’t stop himself from letting out a tiny aww. Jace was sweet. The fact that he was still available was a mystery to Noah. He was going to make someone extremely happy one day.

  Let me do it tonight to thank you, and you can do it tomorrow?

  The pause before the reply came was longer this time. Noah wondered if he’d caught Jace right at the end of a break and was intruding on his personal time. He didn’t want to do that. He wanted to make as little negative impact on Jace’s life as he could.

  Fine. But you gotta shop, cause there’s nothing in the fridge.

  Noah laughed at that. I noticed. I’ll shop.

  You’re a good fiancé.

  Shut up, Noah texted back. He could feel himself blushing. He knew this was all make-believe, but it would serve as one hell of a practice run for the real thing. Up to and including how nice it felt to have someone appreciate your presence.

  Noah had never had his heart set on marriage, exactly—he wanted a family someday, but he’d never thought about the route to it before. This was nice so far, though. Even without the kind of love a marriage was usually based on, it was good to know someone had your back—and was about to be legally obliged to continue to have your back.

  He wondered if Jace felt the same way. Not that it mattered. They were just in this until Noah could get his immigration status sorted out.

  In any case, it was nice to feel as though Jace wanted him around. Especially enough to go through all this crap for him. It may not have been romantic love, hearts and flowers, but Noah felt very loved, all the same.

  He could handle three years of this. They’d basically be roommates. Once they got married on Monday, their lives would go back to normal.

  Noah had been avoiding thinking about the wedding. They were just going to the county clerk’s office to sign papers, but the small ceremony was mandatory. He hoped that his nervousness about it would read as excitement, that it wouldn’t be too obvious that he’d never intended to marry Jace.

  Research told him that they didn’t even need to exchange rings, so maybe it really was just a formality. That was definitely how Noah intended to play it, anyway. As though he’d been in love with Jace for a long time, and they were just now signing paperwork for their own mutual benefit.

  It’d be fine. No one would notice that their hearts weren’t in it.

  Chapter Six

  Jace spent the whole wedding ceremony with his stomach in knots, aware that once they got to the end, he was going to have to kiss Noah. He should have suggested they practice, or discussed it with him first, but by the time he remembered it was
a thing, it was too late. They were already filling out paperwork.

  There was no way he could get away with not doing it. The clerk seemed excited for them, after Noah had explained that they’d been keeping their relationship a secret for a long time, but they were finally ready to be together in public. It was a better backstory than Jace could have come up with.

  All he could think of was this is Noah, he’s my best friend, and I don’t want him to leave me. It was true, but it was a good way to get themselves in trouble with immigration from day one.

  The story that they were in love with each other had to hold up. He was supposed to say things like love of my life and… other stuff, probably. Jace had never really met anyone he wanted to marry before, so he wasn’t clear on the details of how in love with them you had to be.

  He was pretty sure it was generally expected that you’d know how to kiss them, though. They’d moved way past the era of virgin brides, and he was almost certain that Noah wouldn’t have qualified, anyway. He knew he didn’t. This was where it could all go to hell, if he didn’t make kissing Noah look real.

  Jace was so worried about the moment coming up that he nearly missed it. One second, Noah was repeating after the clerk, beaming up at Jace, and the next there was a pause.

  Backing out now wasn’t an option. It wasn’t even that he wanted to back out, exactly. He just wanted to avoid an awkward kiss.

  Jace braced himself, figuring it was only awkward if he made it that way. He dipped his head, his stomach swooping as he made contact with Noah’s lips.

  To Jace’s surprise, it wasn’t all that different to kissing a girl. It wasn’t gross, it didn’t feel fundamentally wrong, and it wasn’t like kissing your brother, either. Not that Jace had a brother, nor would he have kissed him if he existed.

  He didn’t intend to make a habit of it, but it was nice. He liked kissing in general, and this was… kissing. Like pretty much all other kissing. Noah’s lips were soft, and he did have a little stubble, but it didn’t bother Jace. A lot of the girls he’d kissed hadn’t had baby-soft skin either, because real life wasn’t like that.

  He’d expected it to be very different. To feel weird, even repulsive. In hindsight, that was stupid.

  As he backed away, he realized that these revelations were something he’d do some soul searching over later. He’d never thought of himself as homophobic, but he’d assumed that being straight meant he’d be vaguely disgusted by kissing a dude. Maybe that wasn’t how it was meant to be. Most straight guys never tried it, so they wouldn’t know.

  “I hope you two have a great life.” The clerk grinned at them. She seemed nice, though Jace had been too nervous to even catch her name, and he didn’t want to stare at her name badge now.

  His heart was still pounding in his chest at having kissed Noah. That was all he could really concentrate on right now.

  “Thanks.” Noah said, grabbing Jace’s hand. “We’re going to.”

  “You’ll receive your certificate in the mail in a few weeks. I just need some autographs on these forms, and you boys can start your honeymoon.”

  “Oh, Jace is flat out at the hospital, so we have to hold off on that.” Noah took the pen he was offered and started filling out the form. Jace watched him sign his name with a flourish, taking note of his ridiculously neat handwriting. For a guy who worked on computers all day, his handwriting was amazing.

  “You’re a doctor?” The clerk asked.

  “He’s a pediatric nurse,” Noah said. To Jace, he sounded more proud of that than he could ever have been of marrying a doctor.

  Noah had always been impressed by his job, which was part of why Jace liked him so much. He’d never implied that Jace should be aiming at being a doctor someday, or might be better off as a paramedic. It was nice to have someone get that nursing was his calling, and not to want him to be anything else.

  “That’s so sweet,” the clerk said, still smiling. She was obviously well-suited to her job, too.

  Noah handed Jace the pen when he was done, and Jace tried to keep his handwriting as neat as possible. It still looked like a toddler using the wrong hand compared to Noah’s, but at least it was legible. Legible-ish. Clear enough to count as legal, anyway.

  “And that’s it!” The clerk took the form away. Thankfully, Baltimore county didn't require a witness at the wedding ceremony. Part of Jace wished they could have invited some of their friends, but he didn’t want to drag anyone else into this. Not anyone who could reasonably know Jace was actually straight. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.” Noah smiled at her. “I’m so glad I found him.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Jace mumbled. Noah was still holding his hand.

  He didn’t remember to move until Noah tugged him away, giving the clerk one last wave. Once they were out of the room, Noah let go of his hand, but not as though he was sick of holding it. He was probably doing it for Jace’s comfort, which made him feel a little guilty. Was Noah in the habit of doing that? He seemed like a touchy-feely kind of guy, and Jace was as well. He would have liked more contact with Noah, not less.

  Jace kept following him anyway, since he seemed to know where he was going. The way in had been a blur, a maze of corridors which Noah seemed to have memorized.

  “I’m sorry you had to kiss me,” Noah said on the way down the steps outside. “I should have thought beforehand. We could have done a kiss on the cheek or something, mentioned that we just weren’t used to kissing in public.”

  “It’s fine. It was way less weird than I thought it’d be.”

  “I’m just that good,” Noah joked. “Seriously, though, you took it well. I almost couldn’t tell you were straight.”

  “How could you tell?” Jace asked, curious now. Not that he intended to start kissing guys, but he wanted to know all the same. If he knew where he was going wrong, it might improve his kissing technique in general.

  “I’m very attractive, so people who want to kiss me usually don’t hesitate.”

  Jace laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Humble, too.”

  Noah was attractive, but Jace didn’t see any reason to inflate his ego further. At least, Jace thought he was attractive. He didn’t know what gay guys looked for in other guys, but Noah’s features were all nice—warm eyes, dark hair, and a smile that was infectious and mischievous. Those were things Jace looked for in girls, and he was quickly realizing how little difference there really was.

  “So you should let me buy you dinner, as a thank you for this. And because I landed my first long-term freelance client.”

  Noah had apparently decided to freelance while he looked for another job, and he seemed less drained by it so far. He’d done a couple of small jobs since he’d moved in with Jace, and it meant that he insisted on cooking most of the time.

  Jace felt a little guilty, but made up for it by making a rule that when he was home before dinner time, he cooked. So far, it seemed to be keeping everyone happy.

  “Congrats!” Jace grinned. “Told you people would want you once they saw your work.”

  He’d never gotten a new roommate after his last one moved out years ago because he’d never felt as though he was good at living with other people. Noah was showing him that as long as it was the right kind of other person, it was fine. Jace actually liked having him around. They got to watch TV together, talk about crap at work, and hang out all the time this way.

  Jace had realized since Noah moved in that while he thought of Noah as his best friend, they didn’t spend nearly enough time together for his taste before. Now that they were living together, life already seemed easier. It had only been a week, but Jace was confident they’d made a good decision.

  The more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t see why best friend marriages weren’t a thing. Plenty of married couples weren’t having sex. The world wasn’t about to collapse if they didn’t, either.

  “So, dinner?” Noah repeated.

  “Yeah, sounds good. But don’t think I’
m letting you make a habit of it. This is a mutual decision, and you don’t need to keep thanking me for it.”

  “All the same, I think I’ll just keep being grateful to you. You didn’t need to do this.”

  “Dude, we’ve watched each other’s backs since basically the day we met. This is what we do. And I’ve got my eye on that national championship. We’re gonna qualify if I have to drag you around the track myself.”

  “I don’t think that’s strictly allowed,” Noah said.

  “The refs like me.” Jace shrugged. “I could pull it off.”

  “You just keep telling yourself that.” Noah beamed at him.

  Nothing had changed. They were married now, but they were still exactly like they had been this morning. It hadn’t immediately ruined their friendship, and the USCIS hadn’t surrounded them with helicopters and attack dogs over it, either. Everything was going to work out. Three years down the line, Noah could apply for citizenship, and they could get divorced.

  Jace unlocked the car, feeling as though he could breathe properly for the first time since Noah had said he’d lost his job. Things were looking up.

  Chapter Seven

  Other than general agreement that they’d known forever that Jace and Noah were going to end up together, the team barely reacted when they announced that they’d gotten married. They’d decided between them to play it as though it was the real deal in public. It only took one asshole to report you to immigration, and while Noah considered some of the team close friends, some were only acquaintances.

  Noah didn’t quite understand why people were completely unsurprised, though. They were acting as though marriage was just a formality, and he and Jace had been together for years. Brian had been very enthusiastic about congratulating Jace on finally being ready to come out.