by Celia Fay
“Oh, god…” I groan. “Can’t you smell the difference?”
“Shut up,” Kai mumbles.
“He couldn’t tell his friend what was wrong,” Anya says, “so he ran to the bathroom and cried.”
I break out in laughter because it’s been a long day and, “Holy crap, you’re so dumb!”
“Okay, now I’m really regretting this. Why did I ever think this was a good idea?”
“You can go into the kitchen and fix something up if you’re hungry,” Anya tells him with a wink.
Kai makes a face, but he gets up. I watch as he walks away. “Uh… are you going to tell me something really embarrassing now?”
Anya lets out a grandmotherly chuckle. She seems so wise, even though she can’t be that old. Clasping her hands together, she looks up at me. “You know what part of the night this is now, right?”
“Uh, no?”
“It’s the part where I tell you that Kai might seem like he doesn’t care about anything, but he’s actually very sensitive inside. He’s a good kid, so treat him well.” Does it run in the “family” to make everything seem like a movie, or break the fourth wall? Or maybe this is where Kai got the habit from.
“To tell you the truth,” I say carefully, “we haven’t known each other for a long time. But I kind of got that. He says things sometimes that are just… kind of bittersweet?” My voice lilts upward.
“That’s one way to put it,” Anya says softly. “He doesn’t talk about his family and I don’t know much, even after all these years. But I think his parents were always busy and tossed him around friends and relatives like hot potato. He’d always hated going home.”
“Yeah…” I mumble.
Why was she telling me all this? Oh yeah, because I’m his boyfriend. I should be the family that he didn’t have and make him want to go home, instead of wandering around the city. But… this isn’t supposed to happen.
I dived headfirst into this arrangement and now I’m still diving blindly. I have no clue what any of this is supposed to be like…
“I’m back!” Kai sing-songs.
His voice jolts me out of my thoughts. Anya straightens too and puts a smile on her face. She winks at me when Kai rejoins us.
He puts down a plate of hash browns and looks between us. “You can have some if you want. And what did you guys talk about?”
“Stuff,” is all I say.
“The flute thing? Or the duck incident?” Seeing Anya’s and my face, realization dawns on Kai. “Oh shit. I just gave you more ideas. No,” he moans.
I reach over to pat his hand. He looks at me with surprise, but I try to ignore it. “It’s okay. I won’t judge you more than I already do.”
The rest of the night passes happily. It’s nice, sitting in a café, sipping on hot chocolate and listening to bickering and light conversation. It’s warm and sweet and I can see why Kai never wants to go home. I don’t want to go back either.
But when it gets close to midnight, Anya kicks us out, saying both old and young people need to sleep earlier. I apologize for bothering her, but she just brushes me off. Her smile seems to say, Don’t forget what I told you.
After piling into my car, Kai sighs.
“Today was fun,” he says.
“Mhmm.” But I feel like I should say something more. The seconds tick by as I think of something to say. “Uh… you really saved my ass today.”
“Really? You seemed to be doing fine when I got there.” He doesn’t ask any questions about why I needed him to save my ass in the first place, to which I’m grateful. But even as I keep my eyes on the road, I can feel his eyes on me.
“I don’t like business things.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
At a stop sign, I pause for the required time and a little more. “My dad. I keep telling him that I don’t want to do this, but he thinks I just need to get used to it.”
“You get to inherit a giant company! That’s kind of cool.”
I make a face. “I’ll put his entire life’s work in danger, but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s never had common sense.”
“Is that why you need me to piss him off?” Kai suddenly asks.
“Uh…” I blanch. “That was the plan. Yes.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help you. You seem like a cool person when you’re not stressed. Even though a stressed out CEO is kind of hot, too.”
“What the fuck?”
Chapter 5
As the dinner gets closer (oops, it’s the next day), I feel like I should talk with my father. One last time because shit hits the fan. Maybe it’s because I texted Kris the other night and he tore me to pieces.
The basic gist of what he said was, “Do you think you’re still in high school? Did your brain and common sense die in college?” and berated me for continuing to follow through with Mark’s stupid ideas. He also noted that this was some type of prostitution, but I’m not pretty sure.
Anyhow, I make my way to my father’s study at night. His eyes widen when he sees me.
“Oh, Jackson.”
“I want to talk,” I say without preamble after dropping down into the chair.
He studies me before nodding. Continue, the nod says. But it feels like a challenge, as if I have to prove that I’m important enough.
“I’ve been talking about this ever since I got here, but you never listen. I-”
“You just need more practice. If you think you need more expertise, I can help you get a related master’s degree. You really don’t know how lucky you are, do you? So many people will work their entire life to have the opportunity you always want to throw away.”
I cringe so hard my spleen probably ruptures. “I just need enough money to survive. I don’t need all this. Life was fine with mom.”
His eyes harden, but he seems to relent a little. “The dinner with the Fiscones is tomorrow. Even if you want to throw everything away, make sure you attend this one.”
I stand up to leave. But before I get out, I say, “Don’t push random girls onto me either. You’re not a king that needs marriage alliances.”
Quickly, I walk back to my room. I’m aware that I’m depending totally on my father now – my income, car and home are all given to me by him. If he decides that I should repay him for my college tuition, I’ll be in debt until I hit midlife crisis.
Flopping onto my bed, I let out a groan – long and hard. What the fuck am I even doing?
My phone vibrates and groaning again, I stretch to get it. It’s a text from Kai. Do I want to talk to him? The answer, oddly, is… Yes.
Kai K
The thing is tomorrow
Jackson
Yeah, it is
Kai K
You know, it’s totally ok if you don’t want to go through with it
A lot’s at stake for you and it was probably a spur of the moment idea
We can still be friends~
Jackson
That’s considerate of you
But pls come tomorrow
I don’t want to be alone
Kai K
Awww I feel the love~
Jackson
No, it’s just because you’ll take the attention away from me
Kai K
*insert sad emoji
Do you want some feel-good ramen?
Jackson
…Do you put drugs in it?
Kai K
God no! what do you take me as
The only drugs are good ramen broth and noodles
I made some and there’s extra
Jackson
Uh…sure
Without thinking too much, I get up and out the house. I haven’t had good homemade ramen in a long time.
I accidentally stay the night at Kai’s place because he said this would help us act more convincingly. He also produced some strong Chinese wine – baijiu – mixed with sake and now I don’t remember anything that happened. I hope he didn’t do anything to me. And I really
hope I didn’t say anything stupid.
In the morning, I wake up on the floor. The couch and throw blanket is next to me.
My head feels like shit.
Groaning, I pick myself up and get back on the couch. The next minute, Kai appears out of nowhere and is on my lap.
I screech, my own voice stabbing myself in the brain.
“Shh…” Kai cuts me off.
“What the fuck do you want?” I hiss.
He squirms, trying to get into a comfortable position. But he rubs and presses down on me in all the uncomfortable places. God, I really don’t want to know what happened last night to warrant all this. “We’re going to officially be a couple tonight! I think we should kiss.”
I stare into his earnest and eager eyes. “Wha – what?”
Kai moves again and now he’s completely straddling me, legs interlocking behind my back. This is so sexual and my head hurts.
“I just want to sleep,” I mumble.
He pouts, but untangles himself from me. Pushing me into a laying position, he says, “Okay, go to sleep. I’ll make breakfast!”
And then he’s gone.
Is this all a dream? Or nightmare? Or something?
As he makes French toast like it’s classy French cuisine, I look around. From my position on the couch, I can see that the apartment is as “Kai” as I had expected. It’s just a one-room thing, with the kitchen, bed, couch and TV all in the same place.
Everything is an organized mess. A laptop is perched haphazardly on his pillow, a Word doc filled with tiny font displayed on the screen. There’s a mountain of take-out boxes by the trash and a growing pile of dishes in the sink. Clothes are in a small heap by his bed, but thankfully not anywhere else.
On the wall behind the wall are pictures of him with a girl. “Who’s this?” I can’t help but ask.
Kai glances over to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, that’s Crystal. My best friend and ex roommate. She’s the one that got a sugar daddy that I told you about.”
She looks oddly familiar, like I’ve seen her at a party or something.
“Oh. I thought it was your girlfriend, but then I remembered that you’re the gayest person I’ve met.”
“That’s probably a lie.”
“Yeah, two of my high school friends were the gayest couple I know.”
Giving up on falling back asleep, I wander to the bathroom and then to the kitchen table.
“I forgot to buy groceries,” Kai says as he sets down two plates of single French toasts. “Unless you want leftovers from last night?”
“Uh…it’s okay. Thanks.”
We eat in comfortable silence. I listen to the scritch-scratch of our forks, until I suddenly remember, “What are you planning on wearing?”
Kai immediately looks up with bright eyes. “Oh my god, is this the part like in dramas where the rich guy takes the poor girl – or guy – out to buy expensive clothes and get a makeover?”
“We can go to Walmart,” I deadpan. “But no, I was just asking.”
He pouts and goes back to his breakfast. “I have formalwear. Don’t worry, I’m not going to show up in this,” he says, looking at his shirt that proclaimed: stripper on break.
I snort. “Good.”
“But don’t you want me to be totally inappropriate?”
“Uh… I still want people to think I have good taste, you know?”
I plan on going back into the relatively peaceful silence, but Kai suddenly asks, “Are you sure you’re not gay?”
I almost choke on my food. “Y-yes,” I stammer. But actually, am I? Finding Kai pretty attractive just means I’m not blind, right?
“Ah, what a pity,” he murmurs. “We’d actually make a good couple.”
“Don’t tell me you’re crushing on me now,” I mutter, trying to be funny.
Kai snorts, but he says, “Well, you’re hot and rich and extremely easy to fluster. What’s there not to like about you?”
“What do you mean ‘easy to fluster’?” I screech. Thus proving his point.
I end up not just staying for breakfast, but for the entire day, until it was time for me to go home and change. Kai has to come with me. Thankfully, no one is home and I don’t ruin the “surprise.”
When I walk out of the bathroom, I catch Kai flipping through my photo album – yes, I’m sentimental enough to own one.
“Stop looking at my pictures.”
He looks up and, instead of apologizing or putting the book back where it belongs, he whistles. “Nice, hot damn. Those pants really accentuate your ass and thighs. And your legs look even longer! I didn’t know it was possible.”
I try not to blush. “Thanks. Uh…you too?”
Although, in all honesty, he looks like a hairdresser from China – which means an over-the-top satiny shirt and extremely tight black jeans. He’s not wearing socks, and his slim pale ankles are weirdly attractive.
“Thanks!” He pushes himself off my chair and straightens his clothes. “Then, shall we go?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” I grumble. But I let him take my hand and drag me to my car.
The dinner is at the Fiscones’s mansion. A homely meal, they said.
A valet or someone comes to take the car, but I insist on parking it myself. Killing the engine, I lean back and take a deep breath. A tap on the window freaks me out, but I realize with a grimace that it’s just Kai.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” I complain, getting out the car.
He loops an arm around mine. “This is exciting.”
And I’m really fucking nervous. I’d planned on thinking everything through and getting things straight last night. But instead, I got drunk and might have gotten less straight. I’ve never thought too much about Mark’s bad ideas before, though. Maybe this time will be the same.
We enter the mansion and are led to the dining room without much trouble. But when the maid pushes open the door for us, my heart sinks. Two reasons:
One, because I’m late and everyone turns toward us.
Two, because the Fiscone girl is really damn pretty.
Shit.
The first one to react is my dad. He stands up and says, “Mike, this is my son, Jackson. And it looks like he brought a friend.” His tone tilts up like a question, but it also sounds scary.
I cough. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Fiscone. And yes, this is Kai. He’s my– ” Oh, shit, do I say ‘boyfriend’? “ –He’s my date.”
The atmosphere turns super awkward, of course. Jennie, my lovely sister, gives me a look like I’m being totally absurd, but also expected.
The Fiscone girl breaks the silence. “Oh, that’s super! Love is love, no matter what.”
Uh… I’m not sure if she made things better or worse.
“Thanks,” I mumble.
But Kai says, “Yes, the world needs more open and accepting people like you!”
The girl looks between us and sniffs. “It’s so sad that all the hot guys are gay.”
“Yeah,” Kai replies. “That’s what everyone says when they find out.”
Seeing the look on my father’s face, I know that I’ve succeeded in making him give up on arranged dates and marriages for now. But I still want to crawl into a hole and die.
Mrs. Fiscone tells us to take our seats, but we realize that there is only one seat empty, which my step-mother notes pointedly. Kai looks apologetic and runs off with the maid to get another chair. With him gone, everyone’s attention comes back to me.
“Looks like you’ve been keeping a secret from your father, huh,” Mrs. Fiscone says, not unkindly.
I scratch the back of my head. “Surprise?” I say, trying to make a joke. To my surprise, the Fiscones laugh, but it takes a few moments before my own family chuckle along.
Why do the differences have to be so obvious…
“How did you two meet?” my step-mother suddenly asks in her annoying voice.
She stares at me like she’s challenging me. I
don’t know why she’s so pissed – my life has nothing to do with her. But I answer her dutifully, reciting the backstory.
“I was going to work one morning and we crashed into each other. He spilled his coffee on my shirt and… the rest is history.”
“That sounds like a movie cliché,” Jennie mutters.
“That sounds so cute!” the girl coos.
Kai chooses that moment to come back in. He wedges the chair between me and the girl – I think her name is Rose? They hit off perfectly well. While I’m still stuck next to Jennie.
Small talk ensues and the topic moves away from my love life. But beside me, Jennie murmurs without moving her lips, “Dad is pissed af right now.”
“Did you just say ‘af’ in real life?”
“Well, anyway, maybe Dad really wants to help you get a girlfriend. Rose seems nice. You didn’t have to find a random guy.”
“Kai isn’t a random guy,” I protest without hesitation.
Jennie rolls her eyes and scoffs. “We may not have grown up together, but we have the same genes and I know you, Jackson. You’re just trying to rebel against Dad because you’re taking everything for granted.”
“Maybe half of our genes are the same and no, you don’t know me,” I state with conviction.
She rolls her eyes again and leaves me alone. But what she said is annoying and stabs me in the gut. Honestly, what the fuck.
Just as I’m freaking out internally, Kai squeezes my hand. I glance at him, and he gives me a small smile – actually, it might be a smirk.
He leans over, lips almost brushing against my ear, and whispers, “How are you doing?”
I heave a sigh.
“You’re doing great,” he murmurs. “The Fiscones seem like nice, not-pissed people.”
“My dad is not nice and very pissed, though.”
“Well, that was expected.”
I sigh again and slightly gravitate toward Kai. But Rose suddenly coos and I spring away.
“I’m sorry!” she says with a laugh. “You guys looked like you were in your own world and I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry. Go back!” She makes a shooing motion with her hands.