by D. R. Perry
"Whoa, hold on there, Sir." The rusty staccato of a chair dragged across the floor follow Dennison's voice. The werewolf’s viselike grip trapped my arm as he ushered me to the seat. I collapsed into it.
"I did not expect this." Agent Johnson arched her eyebrow in my general direction.
"Good point, partner." Dennison circled me like a shark in bloodied water. His toothy grin spooked me more than the opening scene of Jaws. "I've never seen a Sidhe show fear before."
"Neither have I." Agent Johnson's sunny smile called to mind an avalanche on a ski trail more than a picnic at the beach. "I've got a feeling we’re in store for some game-changing intel here."
"What I have to tell you won't change any games." I stared at the floor because I couldn't look either of them in the eye. "All it'll do is confirm that the other side hasn't played by the same rules as you all this time."
"You do understand that if you chat with us now, you are waiving your right to a lawyer?" Agent Johnson's eyebrow reached dizzying heights.
"That's okay." I took a deep breath and released it, counting to five in my head. "I'm almost a lawyer. Anyway, I don't think anyone will want to represent me after I do this."
Agent Dennison stopped his pacing. Flipping a chair around, he sent it backward. The gesture gave me a fleeting moment of comfort, and I closed my eyes around a memory montage of his little brother, Josh Dennison, sitting the same way as he fostered and guided his pack. But Derek was a totally different animal. I caved to the idea that this time, the lawmen were not my allies.
Or maybe they were. I needed to wait and see. Letting all the air out of my lungs, I tried to expel the last remnants of the migraine at the same time. When I took my next breath, I imagined it bracing me, girding my mind to prepare for this figurative battle against my Monarch. Not all wars are lost or won by physical means.
Fred Redford had bested the entire Seelie army with music. I aimed to do the same by wielding the truth.
After I spilled the beans, the agents had me sign a few things and leave with another. I made it to my next social obligation on time, but just barely.
Ed
Back in the nursery, I found a ball and kicked it. Had to watch my mouth around Hope. If I wasn't careful, I'd owe her my life. I didn't want to owe a girl that much when I had work to do. There was a mystery in the queen's court, and I was on the case.
The ball made a hollow pinging sound as it hit the wall and bounced back toward me. I closed my eyes and ducked out of the way, remembering all those forbidden games of dodgeball back when I was at the regular school. That part of my life was over, and I was only seven. All the grown-ups called me an old soul. They didn't understand the half of it.
I shook my head and felt something flying off my face, not my hair. My nose was all stuffed up suddenly too, the stupid thing. I headed toward the bathroom looking down at the pale marble floor and how my shoes almost seemed like they were CGI'd in. I didn't even fit in here in the Under where half my family worked and lived. Down here, I couldn't talk to Rob, who kept me more cheerful than usual. I missed him, which was the story of my life.
I reached one hand out for the bathroom latch. Another one slapped it away. I turned, blinking up at Hertha Harcourt. She took one look at my face, and her flat mouth narrowed into something resembling the letter O. She reached toward my face, but I ducked and headed into the bathroom before she could catch me. At least if somebody had to see me cry, it was the motherly dragon lady instead of that birdbrain, Hope.
I washed my face at the sink, screwing my fists into my eyes to let whatever happened happen. When I got done crying, I flushed the toilet. You can't be too careful about not letting a girl see you cry. As I turned to dry my hands, the water I'd dripped everywhere made me slip. I stumbled into a weird gold planter with a stalk of bamboo sticking out of it and sat down hard on the floor. I'd seen a brownie before.
"That's not bamboo." I spoke at it from the spot on the floor where I sat wincing at my bruised tailbone. A draft of cool air hit the back of my neck.
"Of course not." The pitter-pat of feet smaller than mine echoed from the shower stall behind me. "What are you doing in here anyway, Ed?"
"There's no way you haven't learned what people do in the bathroom." I stood up and brushed off the seat of my pants, hoping nothing icky from the floor stuck to them. "It's not nice to hide in here."
"Well, duh. But I don't like being alone with the dragon lady."
"Bathrooms are for privacy." I shook my head. "Preschool helps with that idea, just saying."
"You big giant jerk." Hope put her hands on her hips. "You know I got home-schooled. Or boat-schooled. Or whatever."
"Hey, Psychic kid, why so surly?" The bamboo bent in my general direction.
"Excuse me?" I put my hands on my hips, frowning at the brownie. I couldn't believe the stick was taking her side.
"Oh, ho ho! A question. I love those." The brownie straightened, something I'd heard was just like a smile for them.
"This sucks." I clenched my fists, digging my fingernails into my palms.
"Yeah, like royally." Hope reached out and patted me on the back. I shrugged her off.
"Yes. Literally even." Hearing a voice from something that looked like a stick was one of the weirdest things I'd seen in Faerie. At least brownies were less creepy than Tsuchigomo.
"Literally doesn't mean what you think it means." I shook my head. Being ahead with the verbal skills made me a stick-in-the-mud with kids my own age. Possibly everyone else, too. "What are you, some kind of Millennial brownie?"
"And that's question number two." If the brownie wore any kind of expression, I couldn't tell what it was. "The Redfords are usually better at this game than you seem to be. Are you sure you're Duke Neil's son?"
"Listen, bub," Hope growled and put her hands on her hips, staring at the pure faerie creature. "You're playing dirty pool. I'm the Alkonost, which means I'm stronger than you, and I won't stand for this. Stop teasing him."
"But it's so easy."
"I could just start asking you questions." Hope tapped her foot, the sound echoing like dripping water on the bathroom tile.
"You probably should if you don't want little Redford here in my debt."
"And why is that?" Hope turned sideways to drop me a wink. I shook my head, but she didn't seem to care.
"Because I have information that no self-respecting faerie would give away for free, so either he pays the price or you do."
"Why should I believe you about knowing stuff?" Instead of tapping her toes this time, Hope practically bounced on them.
"I hear everything that goes on in this castle, you know. We brownies have the bodies for it, after all. Your little Psychic friend there made a deal with the Tsuchigomo. I also heard that Ed practically owes you his life already, and I think both of you are way too young for that sort of commitment."
"All that's none of your business." My foot stomped the floor. "I think you have no business in the queen's nursery's bathroom, anyway. The dragon lady isn't going to be happy to learn you've watched her use the can all this time."
"Oh, she knows I'm here." The brownie straightened against the wall. "We've got history, and from what I gather, she rather likes me."
"Well, I don't care whether she likes you or not." I brushed lint off the front of my pants. "I don't like you peeping at us every time we take a leak."
"Relax, Redford, I'm not some kind of pedo. I'm just here doing a favor for someone I can't name."
"Okay, fine. But you'd better turn around every time I come in here to use the toilet for real." I put my hand over my mouth, realizing I'd incriminated myself for crying in here.
"Listen, one of you has to ask me a third question. Kids don't usually do too well in here, especially after what happened to Cosmo. You need my information. Badly."
I blinked at the brownie. They just stood there, of course. Brownies don't have faces to make expressions with. But Hope seemed able to read the brown
ie's posture and even find tells in their physical stance. Maybe it had something to do with her being a magical shifter. But I was just a medium. Ghosts are my wheelhouse, and what I should have stuck to.
"So, if you want to help us," Hope tilted her head to look sideways at the brownie, " just do it already, with no debt."
"You grew up on an Unseelie pirate ship, so I'll give you this one. Over here in Seelie land, the rules don't bend. Proper payment for favors or information is law. The queen would burn me at, well, as the stake if I gave away freebies this big."
"Well, it was worth a try." Hope shrugged. "So who's this Cosmo person?"
"We're in business now." The brownie crackled where I thought their hands might be if they had them. "Cosmo Gitano is the son of Gino and the half-brother of Tony. He's technically about a year old but doesn't look his age. Cosmo's important for the part you kids have to play in all of this. You'll meet him soon."
"Okay." Hope gave the brownie side-eye again. "Go on, buddy."
"Thank you for not calling me ‘dude’ like our kind have a gender. I hate that." I heard something like the wind rubbing two branches together and realized the brownie laughed. "Anyway, the spider fiend didn't tell you the whole story. He said to find Joyce Watkins but didn't say that you can't actually do that. You need to be in the right place for her to find you."
"Yeah, the whosiwhatsis didn't seem like the friendliest guy in the world." Hope made a spinning gesture with one hand. "Go on."
"The only way to let Joyce find you is to be with her missing husband at the right time," the brownie said. "Otherwise, you'll have to convince her you're who she needs to work with."
"Grown-ups don't believe us, so that sounds like a lost cause." I opened my hand and looked at the palm, stopping short of planting my forehead inside it.
"We'll just have to swoop in and make her listen." Hope grinned. "She'll want to anyway if she's Precognitive."
"You don't know much about being Psychic." I shook my head. "She has to work at seeing the future, not just get the vapors and make predictions just because we show our faces."
"Hey, for all we know, she's already foreseen this and will be expecting us." Hope put her hands on her hips and looked at the brownie. "You can keep talking now."
"You're going to get annoyed at this next part. One of you can't go to find Edgar Watkins."
" I don't know any Edgars. Do you, Ed?"
"Actually, I just found that part out a little while ago." I shivered like a goose walked over my grave. "Edgar Watkins has been hiding in an old junk shop on the East Side. It's called Trash to Treasure, and it's in a warded building over on Camp Street."
"I think that's all the information I've got for you crazy kids." The brownie crackled.
"Thanks, pal." Hope smiled. "I'd say I owe you two, but that wasn't our deal." She shrugged.
"It's okay. You win some, you lose some. And I promise I'll look away whenever either of you uses the toilet."
"You mean when anybody uses it." It was my turn to glare at the brownie.
"Sure, fine, okay, whatever." I managed not to blink in surprise at the brownie's use of my brother’s and his friends’ inside joke. This stick really did listen in on everything, it seemed.
"It's not cool to mimic a knight of the queen's court." I tapped one foot.
"See?" Hope jabbed me in the ribs with one elbow. "I knew you'd get the hang of this no-questions game with enough practice. Good job, Ed."
"One more thing." We both waited for the brownie's response. They tilted toward me. "Your brother will have his own problems to deal with soon, but don't let that stop you from going to the queen’s ceremony. Something's happening there that you shouldn't miss."
"We'll take that into account, but we're kids." Hope cocked her head to the side.
"Yeah," I nodded, "we're kind of at the mercy of whoever will cart us around."
"Understood." The brownie leaned back against the wall, letting gravity do its job. They looked more like a plain old stalk of bamboo than ever. "I'd tell you to take it easy, but I think that'll be impossible."
"Thanks again." Hope waved at the brownie as I opened the door, letting us both back into the nursery.
Hertha Harcourt stood by the bathroom door doing the pee-pee dance. I stepped out of her way, trying not to laugh as she trotted into the restroom. Hope took the seat the dragon lady had vacated.
Music I never imagined in my wildest dreams came from Hope's mouth. She sang to the egg, some kind of lullaby in a language I didn't recognize. All I could do was stare and let it soothe me until she finished.
"I never heard that song before."
"That's because I just made it up." Hope grinned. "The language, too. Baby dragons in eggs don't really have any language yet, so singing to them in a made-up one makes sense. Besides, baby dragons are special. They deserve something new."
"There’s nothing wrong with old." I snapped harder than rubber bands against wrists. I'd become obsessed with the way things used to be, probably because ghosts were my only friends.
"Oh." Hope scratched her head. "I'm sorry."
I watched her face, noticing her eyes tighten and her lower lip tremble. Of course, she wanted to invent things. Her family was just as broken as my own, and her bestie wasn't a Colonial poltergeist. I felt like the biggest jerk in either world, making a littler kid cry like that over something I knew all about. For as long as I could remember, I’d wanted to be like my brother or my dad when I grew up. So why was I on this poor girl’s case, sounding exactly like my mom?
"No, Hope. Don’t apologize." I sat next to her, but not too close. "I just happen to know that old stuff is as important as the new stuff. It’s worth it sometimes to fix the old and broken because then—"
"It’s just as good as new." Hope wiped her eyes. "Sorry if I upset you, too. Friends don’t hurt each other."
"I'm not upset." I wiped mine too. "Well, not anymore."
The door to the nursery opened, revealing my brother Fred all decked out in his red and white armor like something from a Game of Thrones poster, the red baseball cap on his head looking a little ridiculous with the rest of the outfit.
"It's time to go down to the courtyard, you guys.” Fred stood to one side in the doorway, holding it open for us. "Come on."
"This is for the queen's shindig down there, I guess." I stood up.
"Yeah. I'd like to say it'll be fun, but I'm not sure."
"Well, I guess we won't know until we go." Hope gave the egg one final friendly pat and followed along behind me.
The toilet flushed from inside the bathroom. That door opened as the hall door closed. I followed my brother and my friend down the hall, with no idea what changes awaited us.
Chapter Nine
Albert
I ran all the way from where the portal in the back of the Solarium led. Portals between the Under and the mortal realm were either well established or made spontaneously to a location with people the portal user had a sympathetic connection with. Opening one to a person watching a tithing ceremony was an insult at best.
I knew where I was going, but it took two minutes to get from the portcullis of the castle gate to the central courtyard. My Sidhe magic let me run much faster than any other extrahuman, making up for lost time.
Being in the Under meant that faerie magic didn't give me a headache, which was a good thing considering I'd only just recovered from a blistering one. For a moment, I worried that I might drop the new equipment the Feds had outfitted me with. I shook that idea off. Spider shifter silk stayed put. It'd take a spider shifter or the queen herself to get rid of the stuff.
When I reached the hall leading into the courtyard, I slowed my pace. Stepping under the arch brought me in view of all assembled. I walked at a dignified pace with long strides. Keeping my eyes on the small group gathered to witness what might be one the most catastrophic event in Seelie history made my vision tunnel-focused. I needed that, or I'd risk panicking and running
the other way.
I stopped at the back of the crowd. My rank as a knight entitled me to a closer position, but this gave me a better vantage point. From the top tier of the castle amphitheater, I saw Fred down on the lower level, standing with Ed and Hope. My eyes and mind acknowledged other familiar faces, but they fell by the wayside as I watched the proceedings. The pit of my stomach grew heavy when I saw the thin gold circlet looped over the queen’s wrist. She gestured at the Tree and then at Hopewell.
Nobody besides Her Majesty seemed to understand just how strong Richard Hopewell’s magic was. I could barely think straight in his presence because of all the different energies he commanded. It was almost as bad as being on campus at Providence Paranormal.
He rivaled three thousand student magi in raw strength. And here the queen was setting him up with a high rank to get heirs, or marry him, or both. Richard Hopewell knelt before Her Majesty without asking her three questions. This departure from custom drew gasps and rigid postures of startlement from the crowd.
But the queen cared about that power, not all the things that made this man dangerous. Hopewell believed in nothing less than magical supremacy, a viewpoint that framed humans akin to animals, with shifters only slightly above that. I didn’t want to contemplate the volume of pain and suffering he’d cause if given the chance. The only thing holding him back was the singular limitation each Extramagus had. None of us had figured out what that was yet, but it wouldn't matter once he'd gone full faerie. If he ranked high enough here in the Under to command invading forces, the mortals were toast.
Perhaps the Seelie monarch had understood, had known but thought he’d never get out of hand. She held that gleaming circle above Richard’s brow. I'd never seen an accessory like that, not even for a marquess. He murmured something I couldn’t hear.
“I prepare now to accept the pledge of one Richard Hopewell, and bind him to my tithe as prince.”
Like some massive creature taking a breath, the crowd gasped. Everyone at court knew the Extramagus courted the queen, and that she seemed amenable to his suit, but no one expected her to let him rise above marquess. Declaring a prince or princess was a risk as it was the only rank high enough to challenge either monarch. It meant that Her Majesty saw her suitor as a peer, more than someone to get children with. I headed down the side aisle. The queen was about to make her intended vulnerable one final time before bestowing that vast authority upon him. And I intended to exploit that.