If only we were dealing with a party or a stuffy suit.
I lifted a hand to my mouth and yanked off my glove with my teeth, and repeated the motion with the other before tossing them onto the bench beside me. “What if it wasn’t worth it, though?”
He frowned, his brows caving into an ominous V. “If it wasn’t worth it because the relationship wasn’t good or because the thing she’s asking is more than you’re willing to do?”
It wasn’t the former. Our relationship had flaws that needed to be addressed, sure, but it was finally shaping up and when it was good? It was so fucking good. “Definitely the latter.”
“I’m guessing you don’t want to tell me what she wants you to do, or you would’ve told me already, but I can’t lie. I’m dying to know, now. And, full disclosure, until you do, I’m going to fill in the blanks myself and assume it’s some kinky sexual shit that may or may not have to do with golden showers and/or a pony, but that aside.”
That got a solid, legit laugh out of me, but it was a short reprieve. The grin faded from his face and he grew serious again.
“But if she’s so great, is this thing really worth giving her up over? And if so, is there a compromise? Like, can you do some of what she’s asking?”
I ran that over in my mind for a few seconds, but the second I really contemplated spending time with Sherri, even for a few minutes, I shut it down.
It was too soon. I was still reeling at the idea that she’d gotten this close to me so quickly and still too raw from my blow up with Lola. Maybe tonight, after I’d exhausted myself and gotten over the initial shock of it all, I’d be able to think more clearly.
I looked at my brother who was eyeing me expectantly, his eyes full of worry.
Not what I wanted at all.
I worked up a smirk and nodded. “So, you mean I should say yes to the golden shower but put my foot down about the pony, yeah?”
Bash’s grin was back and he straightened to reach out and pat me hard on the back. “Yeah, something like that. See that? Who needs therapy when you have me to solve your problems for you?” He hoisted his bag higher on his shoulder and gave me a wave as he headed out of the gym. “Be home for dinner?”
“Yup.”
My phone buzzed as the door closed behind him and I tugged it from my pants pocket.
Two words stared back at me, from Lola’s number.
Forgive me.
My heart gave a kick just from the sight of her name.
Could I? Did I even want to?
I closed my eyes and pictured her face, soft with sleep the morning before. Then, I picked up my bag, and walked out the door.
Chapter Seven
Lola
When the knock on the door came, I wasn’t sure who to expect on the other side. It was way too late to get a package, and I hadn’t ordered any food.
Even armed with that knowledge, I was still stunned when I looked through the peephole to see Reid standing there, hands shoved in the pockets of his gym pants.
My pulse skittered out of control and I ran a hand over my scratchy eyes. I had spent yesterday and the better part of today trying to come to grips with the fact that I was probably never going to see him again.
Ever.
Because I’d gone and taken my own personal baggage and put it on him. He was fine. He seemed pretty Zen about the idea of never speaking to his mother again. And I’d assumed he would feel like I did when my own mother had passed away. Like there was a chunk of me missing that I’d never get back. Words locked in my throat, forever unsaid, coupled with the distinct feeling that I’d failed her as a daughter. Regret that never seemed to let up.
But that didn’t mean Reid would feel that way. And no matter that my intentions were good, it was a violation. One I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me for.
And now he was here, on my porch.
I yanked open the door and stared up at his pain-wracked face, wanting with every fiber of my being to leap into his arms and beg him again to forgive me.
Instead, I said, “Hey.”
He forced a grim smile and tipped his head in greeting. “Hey, yourself. Can I come in?”
I stepped back and waved him in, determined not to let the hope in my heart take flight. This could be nothing more than a quick, “no hard feelings” olive branch. Or maybe even less than that. Maybe he was here because he still had more to get off his chest and wanted to tell me what an asshole I was. Whatever the case, this was his party and I was going to let him take the lead.
We crossed the foyer and headed into the living room to sit on the couch. He settled in a few feet away from me and blew out a long sigh.
“You were right.”
The words were so stunning it took me a second to wrap my head around them. “I was what?”
“Right. You were right. Partly.”
I shifted to tuck my feet under my bottom and waited for him to continue.
“People can change and it’s been ten years. Who knows who Sherri McDaniels is now? But there’re a few things I need you to understand that I think we’re crossing wires on.” His lean jaw flexed and I could tell what he was about to say next didn’t come easy. “My mother used to beat the shit out of us. Not spankings. And not just with her hand. It was straight up beatings. With stuff. The cord from an iron on our arms and backs. A golf club to the kidney. My brothers more than me, because I was the youngest and the quietest, but sometimes I think it was worse watching than being on the receiving end of it. Those are the memories that haunt me the most.”
Hot tears were already filling my eyes as images of a young, terrified Reid ran through my mind. Luckily, he was oblivious, lost in his own memories to notice as he continued.
“Matty is the oldest and he was like a superhero to me. If I broke it, Matty could fix it. If I fell, Matty picked me up. Seeing her punch him…hard…like he was her opponent in a boxing ring? Seeing him curl up in a ball to cover up right before she kicked him down the stairs?” He dragged in a shaky breath. “I wanted her dead, Lo.” He turned and met my gaze. “Dead.”
I swallowed the lump wedged in my throat and took his hand in mine. “I’m so sorry, Reid. I never should’ve asked you--”
“I’m not done,” he said, pulling his hand from mine, his tone urgent. “See, I hated her guts. Half the time. The other half?” He shrugged, the helpless apology in his eyes sending another shaft of pain lancing through me. “I loved her. There were good times in there. Times that I could almost fool myself into thinking she loved me too and that she could change. Things could get better. They never did, and then things spiraled. My dad died, she left us.”
It was still so hard to reconcile the sad, sick woman I’d spent the past few weeks talking to with the woman he described, but there was no question in my mind, every word he said was the truth.
“But you were right about one thing and it’s that one thing I can’t get out of my head.” He shrugged his muscular shoulders. “It’s been ten years. Who knows what could’ve happened in ten years? Do I want to be the type of person to let this pain fester and control me?”
“Reid--”
He held up a staying hand. “Let me get this out, Lo. The point? I’m willing to see her.”
My stomach roiled with those words and I shook my head briskly. “I can’t ask you to do that, Reid. I was out of line right from the get go and I realize it more with every word you say. Don’t do this for me. I don’t want this and I was wrong to think I did.”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me.” His sincere, dark eyes gazed into mine, the anger from the day before completely gone. “It’s funny, Bash will never know this, but it was actually his words that convinced me. I’m not a child anymore and she can’t hurt me, Lo.”
A sense of foreboding ran through me. Could Sherri really have changed that much? Or was she exactly as he remembered? A sadistic, cruel specter who had the ability to shape-shift?
A master manipulator.
<
br /> Had I unwittingly invited the devil into Reid’s living room? And if so, how was I going to get her out again?
“Maybe you should take a week. Think about it and what you really want.”
“This is what I want. I almost feel like it’s what I need. Some sort of closure. If she hasn’t changed, fine. I can close that chapter of my life and move on. And if she has? Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
I shook off the darkness threatening to envelope me and focused on Reid’s face. He seemed sure. Resolute. And I wasn’t going to make the mistake of trying to sway him again. All I could do now was support his decision and hope for the best, while keeping an eagle eye on Sherri McDaniels. Because, sick or not, if she hurt my man?
A kick down the stairs was going to look like a picnic compared to the hell I would rain down upon her.
“Okay. So what can I do to help?”
“Right now?” His expression was still guarded, and I wanted more than anything to tear down the walls between us and hold him. “I don’t want to think about it for the rest of the night. Just lay with me. Let me hold you.”
That, I could do.
I stood and reached out a hand. He took it and rose to stand in front of me.
“I love you, Lo. I know that’s scary for you to hear, but if I’m going whole hog on the no-regrets train, I wanted you to know.”
The words made my head spin, and I waited for the inevitable panic, but there was none. All I felt was bone-deep relief that I hadn’t lost him and joy.
Reid McDaniels loved me.
“I love you too, Boy Scout.”
He bent low and scooped me into his arms with a whoop, palming my ass in his big hands as I squealed and wrapped my legs around his waist for purchase.
“Oh my god, you’re going to pull a muscle!” I yelped, secretly thrilled as he carried me with seemingly no effort at all, toward my bedroom.
“Please. I curl weights heavier than you.”
He toed the door open with one sneakered foot and stepped in, wheeling around to kick it closed behind us.
“You’re not expecting any company, are you? Because it’s about to get noisy in here.”
I laughed, a low sense of urgency suddenly pooling in my belly. How did he do that to me? In twenty minutes, I’d run the gamut from heartbreak to surprise to relief to heartbreak again, and now? I was full of joy, in love and crazy horny.
“I love you,” I murmured again, just wanting to hear myself say the words. Let them settle in me.
He lowered me to my feet and his face split into a wide grin as he cupped my nape. “I love you too, Lo. For real. And we’re going to make this work. I promise.”
He dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine in the sweetest kiss. I laced my arms around his neck and pressed closer, reveling in the hardness and heat of his body. And sweet became hot as his tongue slipped between my lips and his knee slipped between my thighs.
A shudder ran through me as he pressed against my center. My nipples spiked beneath my thin top even as a rush of need stole my breath.
He muttered into my mouth and closed one hand over my breast, tweaking the stiff tip between his thumb and forefinger.
I arched against his touch, grinding closer, practically riding his thickly muscled thigh. I swear I could’ve come that way, but he stopped me with a growl.
“I want to see you naked.”
* * *
Reid
If I was telling the truth, I wanted a lot more than that. As pressing as the need was rising between us, her baring her body to me was the least of it.
I wanted it all. And it was finally okay to let her see it.
I let my hands slide lower and cupped that backside now, squeezing. “Damn, you feel good,” I groaned.
I pulled back to look down into her face. Her head was tossed back, her eyes glassy with want, and I vowed then and there that, when we were through, she would know she’d been loved by Reid McDaniels.
After dropping one last kiss to her soft lips, I stepped back, untangling myself from her embrace.
“Come back,” she moaned, reaching for me.
I shook my head, and cleared my throat to get rid of some of the gritty emotion. “I will. When I’m done.”
I went for her pants first, running my fingertips over her waist and full hips before curling my thumbs into the stretchy cotton and tugging them down. I squeezed my eyes closed as I passed a pair of tiny, blue, bikini underwear and then a length of toned, golden thigh.
Taking it slow, I reminded myself.
Didn’t matter that I felt like a mad man. Desperate to take her. Desperate to make her mine again. To make it feel real when I’d been so close to losing her.
I tossed her pants aside and leaned in to press my lips against her pubic bone through the silky swatch of underwear.
Her hands instantly came up to cup my head, her fingers lacing into my hair.
Oh, yeah.
“You’re going to have to hold on tighter than that, Lo,” I muttered, an instant before I yanked off those pretty panties with a loud snap. The sound reverberated through the room, followed by her gasp.
“Reid--”
She broke off as I dropped to my knees and pressed my tongue into her already hot, wet slit.
The scent and taste of her crashed over me, and blood rushed to my head. My tongue sought out her swollen clit and her fingers gripped my hair harder as her breath caught.
I dropped the wad of silk balled in one fist and lifted my hands to her hips, urging her closer. Pressing my face hard against her, demanding she open herself to me and give me more.
She complied with a whimper, making room, spreading her thighs wider.
I flicked my tongue over the exposed flesh, working it, licking and pulsing until her legs started to shake.
“Reid, please. I want you inside me,” she muttered, her voice on the verge of breaking.
I ignored her, knowing then and there that I wasn’t stopping. Not until she exploded against my mouth. Not until those tremors in her thighs became full body shakes. Not until the only thought in her head was me. Us.
I closed my lips over the plump bundle of nerves and sucked. Lightly at first, and then harder. Long, drawing pulls that had her hips flexing in time, dragging muffled groans from between her lips.
My cock bucked at the sexy sounds, thickening to the point of pain.
Come for me, I willed her silently as her movements grew jerky and her body went tense.
Come for me, Lo.
“Ah, god!” A low keening wail followed and then she was shaking and twitching, coming against my face, raining down on my tongue.
My cock wept in response, swelling again in a hot rush of blood. The scent of her, the taste of her enveloped me in a sensual tide and I rode the waves until the very end. My ears were still ringing by the time her fingers released my hair and she quieted above me.
“Jesus, if that was an Olympic sport you’d be like Michael Phelps,” she managed with a gasp.
I barked out a laugh before giving her pussy one last, long look. So pink and pretty, slick with moisture. I took a mental picture and then stood.
She was still wearing her top and I made short work of that and her sports bra before stepping back. Her breasts were perfect. An overflowing handful with pert nipples that begged for my mouth, even now. I bent low and nipped one gently before pulling back.
“I have on way too many clothes.”
Her eyes went hot as I stripped my own t-shirt off in one motion, over my head.
“God, you’re beautiful,” she murmured, her gaze tripping over my chest, then my abs, and then lower.
I managed a pained grimace, and thanked her before moving to my pants. I had them off and around my ankles in an instant, and stood before her in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. My cock was stiff and aching against the cotton, straining to get free, but I was determined to take it slow so I left them on.
I took a
step toward her and led her toward the bed until the back of her knees touched the mattress.
“This is going to be a first,” I murmured as she lowered herself to sit.
“What is?” she asked, her tone going dreamy again as she locked her gaze on the bulge in my underwear.
“We’re going to have sex in a bed.” The last night I’d spent at her house, we’d gone from the shower to the bedroom floor. Before that, it had been pool sex and dressing room sex, and almost having public bathroom sex, events that all ended explosively somehow. This was going to be a welcome change. Especially since it meant I got to wake up with her next to me again.
“I guess we are,” she said with a dazed smile. I meant to smile back. To say something sweet and romantic. But a second later, she was leaning in, lapping at the distended head of my cock that had busted its way over the waistband of my underwear.
“Fuck,” I groaned, instinctively raising my hands to her hair.
She made a low humming sound in the back of her throat and sucked me in deeper, shimmying closer and shoving my underwear down to my ankles.
Her mouth was liquid fire, consuming me, sending lightning bolts of need rocketing through my limbs.
My eyelids drifted shut as she drew me in, sucking hard and then expelling my aching length in a rhythm that made my balls pull up tight. That fast, the pressure started to pool there, a roaring climax just a deep throat away.
I opened my eyes just in time to see her pulling her hair back with one hand.
“No, no, no,” I muttered, but it was too late. She plowed ahead, swallowing me whole. Sucking me so deep, the head of my cock battered the tender skin at the back of her throat.
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