by Susan Fox
Did he really want to make her feel a little more comfortable, or was she just so nervous about tonight that she was imagining this?
The earthy masculinity that must have lured dozens of females to him reached across the distance between them to lure her. Lainey had never been immune to Gabe, however much she’d denied it these past years.
For the very first time it dawned on her that all that earthy masculinity was now focused on her, as if it was naturally compelled to seize and possess any female in close range. Gabe was determined to have the full benefit of this marriage, so that was probably the reason for his sudden intensity.
Lainey already understood completely that, at best, she herself was secondary to his real goal, and merely the necessary means to an end. She was in no way the choice of his heart.
And yet, with his dark gaze virtually devouring her, it was difficult to remember that Gabriel Patton would have stared like this at any woman he’d married. Or that he would have undertaken this exact same campaign with any wife he’d made vows with to both thwart a divorce and to lay claim to the heirs he’d bargained to get.
Because Gabe continued to stand where he was as if he was waiting for her to make some move, the air between them suddenly crackled with expectation. Just as she decided that she was too tired to be reading him clearly and should ignore the kinder impressions that she saw so little outward evidence of, he spoke.
“Maybe if you’d greet your husband the way a wife does when he comes to the house, you’d be more at ease.”
The comment jangled her. Would he continually put her on the spot? Was this a bit of the revenge she was worried about or a sign of his impatience about having to wait for full intimacy?
Or could it simply be the no-frills shortcut of a pragmatic, no-nonsense tough guy who wasn’t content to wait for nature to take its course? Had he said it because he so rarely allowed his emotions to dictate his actions that he was prompting her not to be governed by them either?
For all Gabe’s patience with animals this, besides everything else, suggested he meant to pressure her into compliance at every opportunity rather than patiently waiting for things between them to develop at a prudent pace.
Whatever comeuppance she deserved for all the things she’d done to Gabe and deprived him of, she didn’t want to start the physical part of their marriage with coldhearted compliance. Somehow she scraped up the nerve to let him know that.
“Wouldn’t you rather there was genuine feeling behind it,” she asked quietly, “or is this truly only about sex and heirs?”
“Won’t be about anything but those things if there’s no honest try for more.”
His dark gaze searched hers and she suddenly got a new impression. Could this tough, no-nonsense man who seemed to set such small store by emotion, have entertained a fantasy or two about how things were between husbands and wives? Surely not, but there was no way to mistake the hint of something almost yearning in the way he’d worded it.
Maybe if you’d greet your husband the way a wife does when he comes to the house…
He extended a big hand toward her, and his gruff voice softened to that deep, smoky quality. “Come here, Lainey.”
Something very vulnerable and feminine in her began to quake with both terror and dark excitement. As if his hand was somehow a magnet she couldn’t resist or escape, she started hesitantly forward.
And then she felt silly for the fear she felt. What he wanted was harmless. He didn’t seem to expect her to go the whole way, just that she greet him as a wife would a husband who’d just come into the house. That didn’t mean he wanted her to climb all over him or that he would climb all over her. Surely a casual wifely greeting wasn’t such a big deal.
It was one thing to think that and another thing to believe it, but Lainey walked all the way to him and put her hand in his before she eased closer still and placed her other hand on his shoulder to urge him to bend down. The feel of his callused hand and the rocklike muscle beneath his blue-striped shirt sent an earthquake through every feminine place.
He was a giant compared to her own five-foot-seven frame, but it was amazing that when he began to lean down in an instant response to her very light touch, she felt like the strongest, most powerful woman in the world.
Their gazes meshed and she felt a fresh series of small earthquakes deep down as his warm breath gusted lightly on her face. At the last second she turned coward, and instead of the kiss of lips he must have been waiting for, she shifted slightly to kiss his lean cheek.
His free hand came around her waist and she realized she was little more than an inch from touching him from chest to knee. Her legs went dangerously weak as the heat from his body penetrated her clothes, and she couldn’t move. Gabe lifted his head slightly and again stared deep into her eyes. To her relief he showed no trace of impatience or disappointment.
“You smell as beautiful as you look tonight,” he murmured, his low voice carrying a burr of sincerity that landed sweetly on her heart. The hand at her back rubbed slightly over the elegant silk of her robe and she felt a shower of hot tingles radiate through her from the small movement. She couldn’t seem to speak, not even to come up with some sort of thanks for his compliment.
“I take it back about your nightclothes not being womanish. They feel smooth and warm against you, maybe the way your bare skin will feel. A man likes the feel of his woman’s skin even better than ribbons and lace.”
The blunt words spoken the way he’d said them were somehow lavishly sensual. As if he couldn’t get enough of the feel of the costly silk that concealed the soft flesh beneath, his wide palm continued to press ever so gently against her back while his hard fingers moved in slow circles that made her think he prized the sensation of silk over skin. The small movements were hypnotic.
He guided the fingers she’d placed in his other hand to his chest then eased that arm around her, too. And yet he didn’t move her so much as a fraction of an inch closer. The strong, steady cadence of his heart beneath her palm made her even more aware of the sensuality that wrapped around them in gauzy layer after sweet, gauzy layer.
So slowly she didn’t register it at first, he bent toward her, his gaze still holding her immovable as once again she felt his warm breath feather over her face. He came so close that her eyes fell shut, but more because she didn’t seem to have the power to keep them open than because she meant to close them.
She was so breathless now, so completely paralyzed by the notion that he was about to kiss her, that the milliseconds seemed achingly long.
And then his hard mouth eased gently against hers. A profound wave of emotion swept through her as his lips finessed hers so lightly and thoroughly that she felt, rather than merely sensed, the great tenderness in him.
Gabe was so big and rugged, so hard and implacable, that the contrast between that and this exquisite tenderness beguiled her.
And then the kiss ended as softly as it had begun. It had been little more than a tantalizing taste, but a tantalizing taste that made her incapable of breathing properly. Somehow Lainey managed to open her eyes to watch his slow retreat.
“Best we get some sleep.”
His voice was gruff again, and the subject of kissing and their few moments of sensuality and closeness were suddenly as closed from sight and sensation as if they had been padlocked away in a distant room. Gabe released her to step away and cross to the huge walk-in closet. Lainey turned to watch him go, still a little dazed and off-kilter. Had she done something wrong? Had he been disappointed?
Gabe didn’t close the door to the big closet, and she could see inside as he pried off his boots on the bootjack then began to unbutton his shirt. He was facing the row of clothes on one of the clothes rods, so she was seeing him from the side as his shirt came off and she saw the spectacular muscle-definition of his bared shoulders and arms and torso.
When he reached for his belt buckle, she realized how matter-of-factly he undressed, fully aware that th
e door was open and that she was watching, but as unconcerned about it as if they’d lived as man and wife for years.
Lainey turned away and walked shakily to the bed to draw down the comforter and top sheet. She heard the door to the master bath close and knew Gabe had finished undressing. He’d probably come to bed in a few minutes, so this might be her last opportunity to take off her robe and slip beneath the covers while he wasn’t in the room to see. Now that those fleeting moments of sensuality and closeness had been taken away so abruptly, she was more self-conscious than ever.
The moment Lainey chose the side opposite the French doors and climbed into Gabe’s massive bed, she realized she didn’t know which side he preferred.
It was then that something else dawned on her: she knew he’d undressed, but she’d not been aware of any sound that had indicated he had put on anything else. Surely he’d sleep in something tonight whether he normally did or not.
Lainey covered up and stared uneasily at the ceiling a few moments while she listened to water run in the bathroom. Weeks of unrelenting emotional turmoil had drained her and, despite her nervousness, her eyelids felt impossibly heavy now that she was lying down. The drugging pull of exhaustion smothered her tension and she suddenly didn’t care about anything but sleep.
Surely Gabe would simply come to bed, turn off the light, then roll away from her and go to sleep. She no longer worried whether he was dressed or not, because she was wearing full-length pajamas buttoned to her chin and he’d already agreed to wait for intimacy. The way he’d turned so indifferent after he’d rocked her with that kiss surely meant that there’d be nothing more tonight.
And that tender kiss a few minutes ago couldn’t truly count much toward the kind of intimacy she hoped to delay, since it had been surprisingly chaste. Reassured by that, Lainey dozed off so swiftly and effortlessly that she didn’t know when the door to the master bathroom opened.
Lainey had fallen deeply asleep. Gabe could tell by the complete absence of tension in her face and her slow breathing that she wasn’t faking, and it gave him an opportunity to look his fill at her. He slid beneath the covers to lie on his side, propping his jaw on a fist as he studied her face.
How long would she go along with this? After years of being solely under Sondra’s influence, Lainey might have learned to be adept at imitating her mother’s two-faced shenanigans. It was plain Lainey was wary of him, that she didn’t truly want to live up to her vows.
Gabe reached over to gently pluck a strand of hair that lay on Lainey’s flushed cheek to pull it aside and tuck it in with the rest of her hair. The silky texture made the strand difficult to release, so he took a moment to savor the feel of it as he rolled it softly between his thumb and finger.
He tenderly laid the strand aside, then couldn’t resist brushing the back of a knuckle against her flawless cheek. Five years of anger and frustration had perpetually nettled him and tonight was no different. Except it was suddenly stronger because he was lying next to the cause.
Though Lainey claimed to have wised up and seemed to be suffering guilt, it’d take a fair amount of will and determination to redeem herself. If she wanted to. Besides, even he wouldn’t risk raising babies with a woman who couldn’t keep her word.
That’s why he aimed to push her. These next days—weeks if she stuck it out—would give them both plenty of opportunities to see if she was as serious about making good on her vows as he was with his. And if she could be trusted.
Gabe rolled away then and switched off the light before he settled on his back and drew the covers up. He laid in the dark a long time, hearing every breath Lainey took. He didn’t let himself think about the outcome he’d waited years for, because he’d waited for it too long to completely believe it could truly happen now. With Lainey.
And he couldn’t let himself think about the way she’d felt in his arms. Particularly since his insistence that she share his bed was suddenly a far more rigorous test of his self-control than it was a test of her sincerity.
No alarm clock had gone off, but something had roused her. Lainey rolled from her stomach to her right side before she realized that the mattress by her hip was oddly slanted. She opened her eyes and jerked with surprise before she rose up on an elbow.
The light from the master bath softly illuminated the big bedroom enough for her to see that Gabe sat on the bed beside her, dressed for a day of hard work. She belatedly reached for the edge of the covers to pull them higher as he spoke, his voice still rusty from sleep.
“Figured you’d have trouble getting used to the earlier hours we keep out here.”
With that, he handed her a mug of steaming black coffee. Only then did her drowsy sense of smell detect the rich aroma, and she automatically tried to take the mug. The fact that Gabe held on to it until he was certain she had it in a steady grip meant that for several moments her fingers were closed over his. Her heart fluttered from the tingling sensation of her small fingers curled around his large, hard ones.
While he still had a good grip on her coffee, she slid up higher in the bed so she could take the mug in both hands. Gabe waited until she did then released it completely to her.
“What time is it?” she croaked before she took a bracing sip of the bitter brew.
“Just before five.”
Lainey only barely suppressed a groan. She hadn’t seen this side of five a.m. since she’d left Texas, and though she’d slept surprisingly well, she hadn’t given a thought to how early Gabe might have expected her to get up.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance I could stay in bed until seven or so?” she asked, then had another sip of coffee.
“Too soft and citified to keep up?”
Lainey studied the rugged planes of his face. Gabe’s expression was as tough as ever, but an appealing gleam of humor showed briefly in his dark eyes.
“You think I can’t keep up with a real he-man?”
Gabe’s stern mouth curved faintly in as much of a smile as she’d seen so far. “Maybe in a few days you’ll be able to sit a horse for more than a couple hours. Probably take a good six weeks to get close to a real day’s work.”
Lainey sipped her coffee again, recognizing this for what it was. It was not a dare, but a few moments of gentle teasing. She’d indulged in that same kind of thing with town friends who’d come out to her father’s ranch. Since she’d long since gone soft and become citified, she was fair game and they both knew it.
“Six whole weeks, huh?”
“We keep a lace pillow in the mudroom for city slickers.”
Lainey rolled her eyes, unable to keep a wry smile off her face. She was savvy enough about ranch work to know she couldn’t just stroll back into it at the level she’d left it, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t all come back to her.
“All right, Mr. Macho. Just don’t give me a bronc the first day out.”
“Oh, no, ma’am.”
Now Gabe did smile at her. An actual smile that creased his lean cheeks and transformed him into the handsomest man she’d ever seen. The sudden closeness she felt toward him took her by surprise and she felt warmth radiate through her.
It was then that Lainey realized how little self-consciousness she felt lying in Gabe’s bed talking to him while he sat next to her on its edge. She’d never known when he’d come to bed or when he’d gotten up. He’d done nothing to disturb her the entire night, so perhaps part of her ease now was because she felt a level of trust toward him.
And this small bit of gentle teasing made her feel connected to him, as if some fragile tendril of companionship was beginning to grow.
For the first time in weeks, Lainey felt almost lighthearted and more than a little optimistic. She had the sense that some boundary between them had fallen, though she couldn’t have said precisely what it was, only that she suddenly felt better than she’d felt in a long time.
Until Gabe’s smile eased into its usual stern line and took the spark of humor and feeling of closen
ess with it.
“I’ll see you at breakfast.”
He stood then and picked up his half-empty mug from where it sat on the night table next to hers before he strode out of the room and pulled the door to the hall closed.
It was as if he’d relaxed a few moments then caught himself mellowing toward her and put an abrupt stop to it. Like the kiss last night. One moment he was as caught up in the sensuality and closeness of it as she was, the next he was stone-faced again and closed off.
But why wouldn’t he be? He didn’t trust her at all, and everything between them was precarious. It was a harsh reminder that Lainey had a lot to make up for, a lot to prove. So much that it might be impossible to do.
Lainey got out of bed then went to the closet to grab what few work-sturdy clothes she’d brought with her.
CHAPTER FIVE
BREAKFAST was largely silent, and Lainey’s earlier optimism faded even more. Judging from the way things were going now, those moments of ease between them earlier might never have happened.
Gabe scanned a part of the newspaper as he ate. His one-word responses to a couple of her comments and the fact that he didn’t initiate conversation made her even more aware of the renewed distance between them.
Because it was a long time until the noon meal, Lainey packed away a full breakfast. It was the most she’d been able to eat at a meal for weeks, so at least that was an improvement. Lainey remembered well how much energy good food could generate, and she’d need it for ranch work. Even being outdoors in the fresh air would be tiring until she adjusted, so she wanted to do whatever she could to minimize it.
In spite of her mother’s loud and continual objections when she’d been growing up, Lainey’s father had raised her to work as hard as he would have a son, to acquire as much skill and stamina as any man. She probably hadn’t lost the knack or weakened to uselessness, but her challenge these next days would be to prevent her enthusiasm from overwhelming her common sense.
What helped make up for her disappointment now was the excitement she felt at the thought of being on a horse again. It still amazed her that she’d stayed away from Texas so long. She hadn’t bothered going to riding stables in and near Chicago for an occasional ride because her mother’s demands had severely curtailed her free time. The limits of a bridle path or little real access to vast spaces had made the notion less appealing.