by Mary Wood
The shock of her sudden appearance made his horse rear up. The struggle to stay in the saddle took all Andrew’s strength. Gripping the horse’s sides with his knees, he found the rein tugging his arms till the sockets burned. He leaned forward, urging the horse down, calling in soothing tones and trying to calm him. But then his heart lurched . . .
The red hair tumbling down, licking the creamy mound of a perfect bosom, and the eyes so big – sinking into a deep blue like he’d only ever seen once before – made him think for a split-second that it was Lilly. But no, once the horse settled, he saw that this young woman was infinitely more beautiful, and more graceful, like a dancer. She had a magnetism about her. Once he’d fixed his eyes on her, he could not look away, and when she spoke – though her tone was cross – her voice had a musical lilt.
‘For sure, you nearly knocked me to me maker! You should ride with more care, so you should.’
‘I’m very sorry. Are you all right?’ His words barely left his tight throat. His mouth dried. He swallowed, adding, ‘You will be William’s wife. We haven’t met before. I . . . I hope you have settled in and are comfortable.’
‘Oh, it is sorry I am to have spoken to you like that, sir, but you gave me a fright. I wasn’t for realizing who you were. My man will be after having a fit at me – and deserved – if he finds out. He loves his job, so he does.’
‘Don’t worry – I had it coming to me. I should have taken heed of the fact that it’s likely someone could come out of one of these cottages. I haven’t lived here that long. I am only glad you are not hurt.’
She smiled up at him. Her smile lit her face and held a promise of the pleasures of her. Good God! What am I thinking? He steadied himself enough to take his leave in a dignified manner. ‘Good day to you, and once again I apologize for giving you a fright.’
‘To be sure you are forgiven, sir. I . . . I was after wondering, would it be too forward to ask after your wife? Issy told me this morning that her mammy had been up at the house since very early. And, well, ’tis as I am curious as to how everything went for you.’
‘It has gone very well, thank you for asking. I have a son, and he and my wife are both fine.’
Why was he lingering, telling this woman his private business? Time to go . . .
He touched his hat and rode off. In a short space of time he’d gone from being at one with his world to being at odds with it. Familiar feelings gripped his groin. He fought against the yearning to turn around and take what he knew that she offered in her smile. A memory came to him of William Hadler sitting before him, telling him his wife had lost her way. Will had excused it by saying that others had led her to take that path, but Andrew doubted this. Apart from Lilly, he’d never seen any woman who exuded her inner need in such a way that all men would see it, feel it and – yes – want it, in the way he himself did at this very moment.
Issy heard the latch of the door. Her heart jumped. Tom? Oh, she hoped so, for as much as she wanted Ma to come home and give her good news concerning Miss Dvina, she yearned to have just a few moments alone in the house with Tom. Three months had passed since he’d moved in with them, and though he’d shown many signs of his interest in her, he’d not made a move other than to meet her from work, if she was late home.
She’d had a lift in her spirits and her longings this morning. As soon as the messenger had knocked on the door, asking for her ma to go up to the big house, Tom had looked at her in a special way. Knowing it was her day off, was he trying to give her an indication that he’d come home during his break?
‘Hello, Issy. Is it all right that I came home for me snap? Only with Mrs Harman out, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you. Thou knows, set folks’ tongues wagging, like.’
He stood filling the doorway, holding his cap and looking at her with puppy-dog eyes. To stop herself running to him, she made a quick retort. ‘They can wag all they want to, Tom, cos if they ain’t wagging at us, they will be at sommat else. No, I wanted you to come – I mean . . .’
‘I’m hoping you mean what I want you to. I don’t want to speak out of turn or have you think me a womanizer, but I have feelings for you and . . .’
‘Eeh, Tom.’
He crossed the room and held his arms out to her. Issy went into them.
‘Tom, I’ve wanted you to do this for so long.’ She looked up into his face, and saw the longing there as his lips came down on hers. Every cold fibre of her that had shut down with Denny’s passing – and she had forced closed after her encounter with the gypsy – jumped back into life, sending feelings she couldn’t deny rushing around her body.
‘Issy, Issy . . .’
Her name was a longing on his lips. She clung to him, saying, ‘And here was me thinking you a shy one! Oh, Tom, I’m glad as you’re for me, as I have loved you from the moment I opened the door to you. I was for asking you today, as I were getting fed up with waiting.’
‘No, I’m not shy, just wary of frightening you. And, well, I’ve been hurt bad. I suffered a big loss, and I didn’t know whether I was ready or not.’
‘We’re the same in that, Tom. Tell me about your wife. You’ve never spoken of her, and you can, thou knows. I’ll understand.’
They sat down, their hands joined across the table. Tom took a deep breath. ‘I know as you will, Issy, and that helps, though I’m sorry you’ve been through the same as me. Alice was a lovely-looking girl. You have the look of her: your hair a bubble of curls, just like hers, and your eyes – your laughing eyes – so joyous to look into as hers were. She had a nature similar to yours an’ all. Giving and fun-loving, though you have a way of saying things, Issy . . .’
‘I know. I can be coarse and I try not to be, but it comes out before I can trap it.’
‘Well, I’m getting used to it now. I know it’s part of you and you never mean any malice. Anyway, my Alice died having our first babby. Babby died an’ all. It were three years back now and, though I grieved hard, I found a peace when I came here. I hadn’t thought to speak up yet, but I were seeing to Mr Harvey’s mount and thinking of his wife up at the house giving birth, and all sorts of feelings came to me. It was like Alice was saying to me to get on with me life. And then you came into me head, like as if she had put you there.’
‘Oh, Tom, I hope so, cos that would be a lovely way to think of us coming together. With her blessing, like.’ Then she told him about Denny, and he sat listening quietly, holding her hand and rubbing his thumb up and down it in a soothing way.
A silence fell at the end of her telling, but then Tom said, ‘I know we haven’t known each other long, but would you think on becoming me wife, Issy?’
‘Aye, I would, and I’d not even make you go down on one knee for me, cos I’d not be responsible for meself if I got you anywhere near a position as I could take advantage of you . . . Oh, bugger, there I go again. Sorry, love.’
‘Ha, well, you make things easy for a man, I must say. Cos it can get awkward at first. I take it you and Denny – well, you know the way of things, like?’
She knew a moment of indignation at him for even thinking that, but then a fear set up in her. He’d know. He’d know she wasn’t a virgin, and she’d never want him to find out why, so it would sit better with her to let him think it was Denny who’d taken her down. ‘You’re not for letting that worry you, are you? Only we . . . well, we were very much in love and only weeks from getting married.’ The lie stuck in her throat, and she sent up a silent prayer asking for forgiveness.
‘No, of course not! We’re none of us in our youth, and I had sort of guessed anyway. Someone up there knew we should come together, Issy. We both need a healing, and we both know what having a real love is, so I reckon that gives us a head-start on others.’
Standing up, he came round the table to her, tugging on her hands as he did, and pulling her to her feet to meet him. Holding her against him, he kissed her hair, her neck and then her lips. Longings she’d tried hard to suppress, since the gypsy had fir
st tapped into them, stirred inside her and she knew a joy at not having to deny them any longer.
His breath fanned her face as he murmured, ‘I love you, Issy. I love you.’
She didn’t know how they reached the bed. She could only recall later the swish of the curtain gliding back and a frenzy of kisses, touches and caresses, taking her to a place where every part of her wanted to take Tom into her and to give him all of her.
Lying in his arms afterwards, she found the blossoming of herself that she had so wanted. Only this time it wasn’t tainted, and the fears inside her since hearing the gypsy had come back into the area were calmed. She had her Tom to protect her. No one could hurt her again.
‘I love you, Tom. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before. I’m not belittling me love for Denny by saying that, but I was a different person then. The person I am now can only have this one love, and it is yours.’
He moved onto his elbow and looked down at her. She saw a tear glisten in his eye, and his voice was heavy with emotion as he spoke softly, saying, ‘Well, lass, I didn’t think I would ever again feel as I do now. Only, like you, it is more so. And, like you, I’m not tainting Alice’s memory, as I’m different an’ all. And this different me, loves you with everything I am.’
As they came out of the kiss that sealed what they had pledged to each other, Tom made her laugh by tweaking her nose and saying, ‘You’re lovely, and you’re all I thought you would be. That were grand, and thou knows – with practice – we could reach sommat unheard of. Eeh, marry me, Issy! Marry me as soon as banns can be read.’
She took on his way of lightening the moment and answered him in the same way. ‘I’ll have to, cos I can’t see us getting much space to get the practice you’re on about, until we do. Mind, there’s conditions. You have to promise to come home for the kind of snap you did today, every day as I’m off work.’
‘Ha, you’ve reminded me. I’ve had nowt to eat yet! Come on, lass, what kind of wife are you going to make, if you don’t think on feeding your man, eh?’
They both laughed at this, and the laughter brought them to a place where they could cope with all that had passed between them. But it was cut short when the sound of the latch had them scrambling for the curtains, swishing them shut, grabbing clothes and doing all kinds of funny manoeuvres as they tried to present themselves as decent.
‘Tom Grantham, I leave me house for five minutes and you take me Bella down! What kind of a man are you?’
Issy froze. Hearing her mother call her by the pet name she always used ground a shame into her. She looked at Tom kneeling on the bed, his arm stuck in mid-air as he tried to get back into his shirt. His face was a picture of horror. Issy didn’t know how to help the situation, but then they heard a cackling laughter.
‘Ha! I were beginning to think as you weren’t a man proper, Mr Grantham, but I see as you are. Well, you’d better do the right thing by my Bella, or you’ll have me to answer to.’
Her ma laughed again, and Issy poked her head out of the curtain, saying, ‘Eeh, Ma, you gave us a fright!’
Tom pulled it further back. ‘I’m sorry, Mrs Harman. I . . .’
‘Give over, lad. It ain’t reet, an old woman finding her unmarried daughter at it – and on me own bed an’ all! – but if she were going to, I couldn’t think of anyone better for her to choose than you. I hope you do have good intentions, though, cos she’s a lovely lass and’d make you a good wife.’
‘Ma!’
‘And she has consented to be just that, though she hasn’t promised the “good” bit yet.’ Tom swung his long legs off the side of the bed. Somehow he’d managed to get his trousers back on, though Issy couldn’t think for the life of her how. Not that it mattered at the moment; first she had to stop them talking about her as if she wasn’t there.
‘I did say yes to his asking, but now if he’s going to be in league with you, Ma, and act like I’m invisible, then I might think again.’
‘Issy, don’t say that. I was in shock, that’s all, and thought to have the banter with your ma to ease the situation.’
‘I know, I’m only taking you on. Look, Ma, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have. I mean, it hasn’t happened before – just . . .’
‘Aye, when the cat’s away. Look, I ain’t angry. I’m really happy for you, lass. Now, can’t a hard-working nurse get a sup of tea around here?’
‘Oh, I forgot the babby! Did it arrive? Is Miss Dvina all right? Is the babby . . . ?’
‘Yes, yes, I’ll tell you all about it. But hadn’t you better be getting back to work, Tom?’
Issy turned her attention back to Tom. His eyes held so much love for her that she had to turn away. She busied herself getting a pie out of the pantry and wrapping it in muslin, calling out to him as she did, ‘I won’t be a mo, love. I’ll just get you some snap to take with you, and I’ll see you out.’
At the door he took her hands in his and made as if to say sorry once again, but she put her finger on his lips. ‘Don’t. It happened, and that’s that. I’m not going to think on it. I’m only going to think of what happened before Ma came home, and all the practice you promised me.’ He kissed her in a quick movement, looking around before he did so. She shoved him, saying, ‘Go on with you! You’ve ruined me standing with me mother, and now you’re after ruining me reputation with the curtain-twitchers in the Row!’
Tom laughed as he went on his way. She watched him until he turned into the lane, then went inside to hear all the news on Miss Dvina. Issy just hoped it was all good, though she had a mind it was going to be, by the cheerfulness of her mother. Eeh, to find out Miss Dvina was happy would just top the day off nicely.
Andrew rode slowly back across the fields. He’d seen smoke curling up out of the woods and had heard from his farm workers that Seamus was back. He thought to have a word, see where he’d been these past few years and how he was faring. He crossed through the stream, lingering a while to let Goldboy cool his feet. The thought of taking his boots off and dangling his own feet in the water appealed, until he saw the traces of ice on the banks. Happiness had shielded him from the cold, but as he looked around he realized how wintry it really was. The patches of white frost that the sun had missed, and left clinging like cobwebs to the branches and hedgerows, told of it.
Turning Goldboy out of the stream, Andrew allowed him time to become sure-footed, before setting off at a canter onto the road, until he came to the woodland. As he dismounted to steer the horse through the trees, he heard a high-pitched voice shout, ‘I am not for believing you, Seamus. The bastard you are took everything I had. I am for hating you with everything in me, and if you come near me and me man, so help me I’ll kill you, so I will!’
Andrew stopped and listened. Seamus’s tones – deep, sarcastic and menacing – answered the person he thought must be Hadler’s wife. ‘So, you’ll not be after wanting the gin I have for you, then? Oh yes, it is me that has kept you in it since you came here. I have been following your trail this last while. I saw what you had become, and thought I could wash me hands of you. I would have done meself a service if I had.’
‘Were you not for thinking you had a hand in me downfall? You left me no choices. I had no money, nothing. I had to . . .’
‘Aye, ’tis that you had to. All right. For isn’t it the way of it as you were built to give the pleasure to men? But to sell yourself – you, Bridie O’Hara. I thought better of you.’
There was a silence. Andrew held his horse, still unsure what to do. To show himself would embroil him in whatever situation these two were in, and that was the last thing he wanted.
‘Bridie, I never stopped loving you. I’ve told you me reason for going, but I’ve come back a different man. Some of me reason for coming back was to look for you, but me situation and the stuff I got mixed up in forced me hand as well. I have business interests around here. You’ve met the Irish community. You probably know what I’m talking about. Supplying them with the cheap liquor is o
nly half of it.’
‘’Tis as I know. And I am for believing all of their tales. I came here to ask you to leave me and Will alone. I’m happy with him. We have a decent life. I don’t want that spoiling, please, Seamus.’
‘Well, ’tis as I was packing up anyway. But I’ll be back, Bridie. And when I do, I’m for having you. No matter that the way you turned out sickens me; I can’t cut meself off from you. You belong to me. You know in the heart of you the truth of that. Here.’ Andrew saw a bottle fly through the air, its contents glistening in the sun. ‘Take it. I’ve left a good stock with Paddy for you, but you have to pay like the rest of them. And make sure you do.’
The woman bent and picked up the bottle, then turned and ran towards the field at the back of the wood. He watched her lithe body move with the grace of a deer. Her hair billowed out like a flame behind her, and once more Andrew felt a stirring. A clenching of his muscles sent messages to his heart that he did not want to hear.
Turning back to watch Seamus caused his horse to snort. Seamus picked up his gun and aimed it in his direction. Not wanting to, but knowing he had to, Andrew called out, ‘Good afternoon, Seamus. I heard you were back.’
‘Is it yourself, Mr Harvey?’
Seamus glanced in the direction Bridie had run. Andrew did the same, but she was out of sight. He steered his horse out into the clearing and, trying to keep his voice steady, asked, ‘So, where have you been these last few years? We thought you had gone for good.’