“Honey-blond hair, green eyes, medium height,” he listed off her features like a list of numbers. “And she is here at the house party.”
“She is here? Are you certain?”
He nodded, but there was no enthusiasm in the gesture. “I saw her at the masquerade the other night. She told me.”
“I see.” She looked up at him again. I will make a list as soon as I return to the house. Pasting on a smile, which he clearly saw was fake, she gestured to the horse. “I believe we’ve walked long enough. Shall we return to the house and start the hunt?”
He wanted to hold her again, tell her how much she had come to mean to him, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t free to do so. So he nodded his agreement instead, moving to lift her to her horse.
Seeing her stiffen in the saddle, he looked up to see the groom approaching them. He had completely forgotten he was there.
“Will we be continuing on or returning to the manor?” the servant asked, any hint that he had witnessed their embrace was hidden.
The fact that none of Viscount Lawrence’s grooms were available that morning, and that he had to use one of his own men, was a boon. “We will be returning to the manor directly. Thank you, John.”
His servant nodded, acknowledging his master’s words and the silent request that what he had seen remain a secret. But Bradford wasn’t concerned that his servant would tell anyone. He had long since weeded out any of his staff that would gossip.
As the groom rode away, he looked up at Aubrey, tension creasing her brow. “There is no need to worry,” he quickly soothed. “He is one of my servants and he would never say a word.”
At his reassurance, she relaxed in the saddle, and he was taken aback by the amount of trust she showed him.
After checking that she was secure, he turned to his horse and mounted. There wasn’t anything left to say.
***
Quickly making her way to her room, she shut the door firmly before sinking onto the bed. The tears began slowly, then built with such pressure that there was no stopping them.
The hurt that had left her numb during their ride back to the estate was thawing, allowing her to feel the pain of losing Bradford.
She had never entered a competition for a man’s heart, never had any desire to. But she wanted Bradford’s heart like nothing she had ever wanted before. The fact that he wanted someone else hurt.
And the terrible thing was that he didn’t want another woman. He wanted the masquerade woman, which was a part of her, but not really. She was a ghost, a fantasy.
However, she, Lady Aubrey, was flesh and blood. A true woman with feelings and emotions and desires.
How could he not know it was her? How could he scrutinize everyone, cataloging their traits, and not notice that the honey-blonde, emerald eyed woman was her?
Despair crushed her. When his eyes had looked into hers, when he had kissed her with a passion that she had never known, her heart had soared so high. She thought she would never be the same. And it had been true, she never would be the same. But in the next breath, when he had pulled away from her and she saw the look in his eye, she had crashed to the ground.
He had chosen the other woman. He chose a fantasy.
Her heart wrenched, more tears staining her pillow.
“Goodness! Aubrey, what is the matter?” Charlotte closed the door softly and rushed to her side.
With her sister’s comforting presence, the dam on her feelings burst, and she sobbed uncontrollably. Charlotte let out a soft cry as she heard her older sister break.
Her sister’s comforting arms wrapped around her. “Oh dear. Have a good cry. Cry it out.”
Her touch felt good, seemed to lessen the hollowness in her soul. She didn’t have Bradford, but she had her sister, her family. And they loved her.
A few more tears escaped her, purging the hurt enough that she could breathe.
With a quick squeeze around her sister’s waist, Aubrey silently thanked her for the comfort she had given.
“I’m sorry.” Aubrey leaned away and sniffled. “You might need to change your dress.”
Her sister waved the worry away. “It’s all right. I needed to change anyway.” She took Aubrey’s hand as they sat on her bed facing each other. “Now tell me what happened. What is the matter?”
For a moment she thought about denying the request, thought about how crazy it would sound, but she knew she couldn’t hold it all in any longer. She needed to share it with someone.
“Oh Charlotte, it’s a mess.”
“What is, dearest? What has happened? Start from the beginning.”
And that was exactly what Aubrey did. Starting from when she walked into Lady Templeton’s masquerade and ending with what had happened between the duke and herself during their latest ride.
Aubrey ended with a deep breath, feeling the weight of it all rise slightly from her shoulders. Why had she waited so long to tell anyone?
Glancing at Charlotte, Aubrey wanted to laugh at the surprised look on her sister’s face. “Why did you not tell me sooner?”
“There was nothing to tell. Nothing had happened between the two of us.”
“Nothing to tell?” her sister’s voice rose slightly. “The duke declared himself to you weeks ago!”
Shaking her head softly, Aubrey denied her sister’s words. “You don’t understand, Charlotte. He didn’t declare himself to me.” Seeing her sister’s confused look, Aubrey clarified. “He declared himself to the masquerade woman. She doesn’t exist.”
“But she does exist. You are she.”
“Not really.”
“Yes, really.” Charlotte squeezed her hand, gaining her full attention. “I have never understood why you have waited on the edges of the ballroom. You are gorgeous!” At her sister’s disbelieving snort she tried again. “You are gorgeous and charming, generous and intelligent. But you hide yourself away. You hide from others instead of showing how beautiful you are inside and out. I have never understood why.”
“I don’t know.”
“I see the masquerade woman in you. I see how beautiful and lively you are. Perhaps you needed the anonymity to unlock it yourself. When you believe in yourself, when you accept it and show the world, you are the masquerade woman.”
The words were like a balm to her soul. Her sister was squeezing her hand, almost as if she could pump her words into Aubrey’s heart.
Was Charlotte right? Had Aubrey been hiding something away all these years? Hovering on the edges of the ballroom to escape notice?
She hadn’t felt comfortable her first season, hadn’t fit the mold of a true debutant. Was that why she had felt lacking? Felt like she needed to haunt the fringe of the ballroom? She hadn’t quite thought of it that way before.
“I know who you are Aubrey. And I love who you are.”
With a soft smile, Aubrey squeezed her sister’s hand. “I love you too.” She took a cleansing breath. “You’re right. I hadn’t realized that I hid on the edge of the rooms.”
Her sister nodded to drive her point home.
“Perhaps it’s time that I stopped.” Something felt as if it were releasing in her chest. She felt lighter, freer. “I think tonight will be as good as any to show the ton what they’ve been missing.”
Charlotte laughed in delight and leaned in to hug her sister. “I can’t wait to see it. They won’t know what hit them.”
They laughed together for a moment before falling into another silence. “What do you plan to do about the duke?”
If only Aubrey knew. She could finally confess to who she was, but did she want that? A part of her still yearned for him to recognize her on his own, to know that she was the one he wanted regardless of his promise.
But would he ever be able to do that?
She knew he was a man of his word, and once given, would never break it. But what if he never found the woman? How long would he wait until he moved on?
It seemed so overwhelming.
�
�Is it really all that bad?” Charlotte asked, clearly seeing the debate on her sister’s face.
“I don’t know what to do. I want him to want me the way I am, because of me. Not because he promised a faceless woman at a masquerade.”
“I see.” Her sister paused as if considering something. “But Aubrey, he said he would want you no matter who you were, no matter what your reputation. Do you not believe him?”
“Of course I do. He is a man of his word. But I don’t want him to be required to accept me because of those words.”
Deep in thought, the two girls thought of how they might change Aubrey’s situation. But as the minutes passed, neither had an idea.
“Come, let’s get ready.” Taking Aubrey’s hand again, Charlotte led her to her dressing table. “Let’s focus on you right now. Everything will work out. I’m sure of it.” With a wicked grin she added, “Besides, the true Lady Aubrey will be presented to the guests this evening, and she must ready herself for all the male attention that will be turned her way.”
Aubrey laughed, the tiredness creeping into the sound. “I highly doubt that.”
Charlotte looked incredulous. “You can’t be serious! Aubrey, when I am finished with you, I guarantee, ever single man in this house will flock to you.”
With that promise, Charlotte set to making her sister fit for a debut others wouldn’t soon forget.
CHAPTER 8
Swearing, Bradford stuck a diamond pin into the knot at his neck. He kissed her. Kissed Aubrey.
What must she think of him?
One minute he had told her that he needed her help to find another woman, and the next he was kissing her, holding her as if he never wanted to let her go.
She must despise him. And he wouldn’t blame her. He couldn’t.
He wanted to head back to London immediately, but that would only make matters worse. He had come to appreciate Aubrey more than anyone else in his life. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her friendship.
What was it about her that drove him a little mad? It hadn’t started out as an overwhelming feeling, more like a small breeze that quickly evolved into a hurricane.
That’s what had happened. He had finally sunk.
What was it about her that appealed to him? He admired her, certainly. She was bright, caring and had a sense of humor he could respect. But there was something more. There was something deep inside her that screamed of dark and sultry nights. Whispered of nights filled with passions that he had never known.
Could it be possible that no one had ever seen it in her before? She stayed along the walls during parties, sufficiently taking herself out of running for suitors. But she had so much to offer.
Any man would kneel down and give thanks to the Lord for such a precious gift as she. He knew he would.
He let out another oath before yanking on his dinner jacket. He shouldn’t be thinking of her. He needed to shut her out of his mind and think of the masquerade woman, as he so often told himself.
His heart clenched, and he tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he left his room. Lady Aubrey wasn’t meant for him. And he needed to stop thinking of her.
He just didn’t know if he could.
Laughter echoed down the halls that led to the parlor where the guests were gathering before dinner. Several men’s chuckles could be heard above the rest, and he knew they shared a common joke. He bet it was the kind that was whispered beneath their breaths.
He was wrong.
Entering the room, his eyes immediately locked onto Aubrey, and his shock had him taking a step in retreat. Her enticing form showcased in a sky blue silk made him think of warm, summer days. Her energy vibrated through the room as her pink lips curved slyly at one of the guests. Laughter broke out again as the men who circled her relished her reaction to their joke.
She looked transformed, beautiful. Looking at her now, he would have never guessed that she had been a wallflower. She commanded the attention in the room, entertained the guests as if she were the hostess.
Her eyes sparkled with a hidden secret, but her cheeks blushed becomingly as if she wanted to tell that same secret to someone special. And he knew that every man circling her wanted to be that special someone. She held herself strait with pride, showcasing her curves with the unabashed shyness of a woman who knew she was beautiful and expected others to worship at her feet.
Oh, how he wanted to.
He was struck down with wanting her. He felt like a man who had gone without a week of water and was suddenly thrown into a magical pond. He wanted to lap her up, steal her away and keep her in his bed for a month.
As he looked around, he saw that more than one man had been thinking the same thing. He wouldn’t be surprised if Lady Aubrey received more than one marriage proposal this evening.
Hot, flaring jealousy coursed through him at the thought of anyone else having her, touching her, enjoying her laughter.
He wanted her for himself, wanted to pick her up and cart her away from the other men’s lust-filled eyes to a place where only he could be with her. But he couldn’t. The frustration that raged inside was intolerable. He cursed the day he went to Lady Templeton’s masquerade. If it hadn’t been for his promise, he would already have Lady Aubrey in his arms.
He walked into the room finally, moving to a corner where he could watch her discreetly. True, they were friends now, but he wasn’t about to march to her side and commandeer her attention.
“Wathersby, will you not come join us?” Sir Douglas asked, currently among the men of admiring suitors. “Lady Aubrey has been comparing society’s rules with the rules of nature. She is under the impression that animals have it right and that we have erred in our rules of propriety.”
The glittering laughter that floated across Aubrey’s lips seemed to enchant the men around her. “That’s not quite what I said, Sir Douglas. What I meant to imply was that an animal’s way of finding a mate is much more practical than how society tends to go about it. But perhaps we should change the subject before we break another rule of propriety by discussing mating habits before dinner.” The men chuckled around her again, their attention completely on her.
Enjoying herself, she seemed completely at ease. At least until he noticed that she was toying with her ring, making the jewel continually circle around her finger. Seeing the slight discomfort intrigued him. Had she been doing that before he entered the room?
Was it possible that she was as affected by him as he was by her? He wanted to think so, wanted to know what was in her heart, but it wasn’t right. He had no claim to her.
“Will you not join us, Your Grace?” she politely echoed the request, but when her eyes slyly shifted to him, he felt something quake inside him. There had been something so familiar in the look, something on the edge of his mind. Had she looked at him that way before, or was he thinking of someone else?
As he watched her laugh lightly at another joke, he wanted to groan as her figure shifted in the silk cloth, emphasizing her more feminine curves.
Torture. Watching her weave magic over other men was going to kill him.
A honey-kissed curl teased the creamy skin at her neck, drawing his attention to how slender it was. His eyes traced up, loving the curve of her chin, her rosebud lips, and her pert nose that led to eyes that looked as green as freshly cut grass after a light rain.
When her lips curved again, he was shot through with lightning.
It couldn’t be.
Honey-blonde hair, emerald eyes, medium height. That was a perfect description of Aubrey. How could he have never seen it before?
Leaning forward in the chair, his eyes raked down the rest of her body, comparing it to what he remembered of the masquerade woman. It could be her.
But no, she would have said something earlier. Told him that she was the one he was looking for.
Thinking of all the times he had spoken with her since the ball, danced even, he couldn’t believe it. He would have known. Would have seen
it.
Her eyes met his again, her lips curved as if she knew a secret.
Bloody hell.
Aubrey was the masquerade woman. She was the woman he had been looking for.
All at once, the laughter was out of Aubrey’s eyes, the smile wiped off her face, her jovial features replaced by pure fear.
She knew that he had figured it out.
Watching her make her excuses to her audience, she quickly slipped from the room. He left only a few seconds after. If she thought she was about to get away from him, she was mistaken.
She was his. Only his. And he didn’t care who saw it.
Moving quickly, he cornered her in the hallway leading to the staircase. He caught her hand, whipping her around and used his body to trap her against a wall, effectively caging her in his arms.
“What do you think you are doing?” she gasped out, trying to play as if she didn’t know what he wanted.
“You know exactly what I’m doing, Aubrey.”
He didn’t give her another moment to speak, to voice an objection, he just took. Capturing her lips, he claimed her. He couldn’t be gentle, couldn’t be tame with the feelings that were erupting within him. The frustrations he had felt over the past few weeks poured through him as he swept into her mouth, branding her, binding her to him.
He wouldn’t let up, wouldn’t let go. All that she had put him through over the past few weeks—wanting her, denying himself because of a promise he made to the masquerade woman. Tearing himself apart with want for one woman because of duty to another had finally pushed him over the edge.
It had been her the entire time.
Her body finally relaxed against his, as swept away by the passion building between them as he was, and he couldn’t help but take her a bit deeper.
When she shuddered against him, he knew she was lost.
Pulling away, he looked into her eyes, gripping her upper arms as if he couldn’t bear to let her go now that he had found her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The time for pretending was over. Slowly, tears filled her eyes. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not? There were plenty of opportunities.”
Masquerade Secrets Page 10