“I was ashamed,” Liza said quietly. “And I thought I could handle Rick, and that you would never need to know about any of it.”
Eve stared down at her hand clutching the glass of iced tea. “So you just disappeared without a word.”
“No, I was only supposed to be gone for a long weekend. To Atlantic City. Rick started losing money like crazy. After he drained my checking account and demanded more, I cut him off. I was going to leave him and catch the next flight back, and that’s when he told me about the diaries.”
“You should have at least called,” Eve said, the fire back in her eyes. “It wasn’t just about our friendship, you put the show in a bind.”
“You’re right. I have no excuse.” She couldn’t have called. Not without admitting what a fool she’d been and scare the hell out of Eve over the diaries, but she wasn’t going to argue about that at this point. Pride had gotten her into enough trouble.
It didn’t help that Eve seemed more concerned about Liza shunning them than she cared about the diaries. The thought made Liza sick to her stomach. How terribly foolish she’d been to not trust her friends.
Eve sighed. “Where’s Rick now?”
“In the hospital.”
“What happened?” Jane’s eyes widened.
“I tried to kill him.”
Both women gasped.
Liza gave them a wan smile. “He overdosed. Plus, he has a concussion from when I shoved him last night.”
“You’re not still with him, then,” Jane said.
“God, no.” Liza looked down, unable to meet their eyes. “Not really. But he’s kept me on a short leash and I’ve allowed it. The show was really taking off, and when he threatened to sell the diaries to the tabloids I honestly didn’t know what to do.”
“You could’ve come to us. I thought that’s what friends were for.” The trace of bitterness in Eve’s voice earned a sharp look from Jane.
“I know,” Liza said quickly. “I was ashamed, and I honestly thought I could handle Rick. He needed money and I received a small inheritance from my father that I figured would—”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When did he pass away?” Eve asked, sincerity in her eyes.
“There was no love lost there.”
“Still, I wish we’d known,” Jane said softly.
Liza looked away. They’d been the best of friends, shared so many things, and she’d not only let them down, but had also held them at bay, making the occasional wisecrack about her parents but never letting them see how much she’d hurt. While they’d invited her into every aspect of their lives, she’d never totally let down her guard with them.
“My father was a lousy drunk,” she said. “That’s why there were never sleepovers at my house.”
Eve smiled gently. “We knew that, Liza.”
“No, I don’t mean he got drunk once in a while, he was a drunken asshole six nights out of seven. Sometimes he’d hit my mother. Not me, not really, just the occasional slap, but that was probably because I wasn’t around much.”
Jane snorted. “We weren’t stupid.”
She looked closely into each of their faces. They did know. “You guys never said anything.”
Eve shrugged. “What would that have changed?”
Liza’s eyes burned. She did not want to cry now. She sniffed, cleared her throat. “Okay, here’s the deal. I can withdraw the lawsuit and tell Rick to screw off but I have no idea how he’ll react. I’ve looked everywhere I could think where he might hide the diaries and I’ve come up empty. Or we can see how the judgment plays out and if there’s any money awarded, exchange it for the diaries.”
Jane frowned. “Can’t we go to the police?”
Liza shook her head. “We can’t prove he stole them, or that he even has the diaries in his possession. Once he sells them to the tabloids, he’s out of here.”
They both looked at Eve, who’d remained silent. Finally, she said, “It’s not fair to the others. They shouldn’t have to pay blackmail money.”
“I’m willing to give up half my share,” Jane offered. “What about you, Eve?”
“Thanks, Jane, but I can’t let you do that.” Then, ignoring Jane’s protest, Eve looked at Liza. “Would my share be enough? Would he take that?”
Liza looked at her friend, unable to stop the tears filling her eyes. What had she done? “I don’t know. He should. That’s all he would’ve gotten from the lawsuit.”
“Liza, don’t. It’s okay.” Eve left her chair to sit in the one next to Liza. She scooted it even closer, and then took Liza’s hand. “It’s only money. Not worth ruining our friendship. Do you hear me?”
The floodgates really opened then, and Liza grabbed a tissue out of her purse. “I’ve already done that. I’ve ruined everything.”
“No, you haven’t,” Eve said, and Jane echoed her.
“You warned me Rick was scum, and I wouldn’t listen.”
“Like we ever thought you would have,” Jane said.
Liza smiled, and dabbed at her cheeks. “You should’ve just hit me over the head.”
“The thought crossed our minds.” Eve squeezed her hand. “When is Rick getting out of the hospital?”
Liza hiccupped. “It’ll be a while. He’s going into detox first.”
Eve nodded thoughtfully. “I think I should speak to my attorney about this before we do anything.”
Jane nodded. “Eve, look at me.”
At the firmness in Jane’s voice, Eve and Liza both turned. She wasn’t used to this new assertive Jane.
“I’m in this, too,” Jane said. “I am giving half of my share, and it’s not up for negotiation.”
Eve rolled her eyes.
Liza sniffed. All she had to contribute was the problem itself. “I want you guys to know it really killed me to file the lawsuit,” she whispered. “At the time, I didn’t feel as if I had a choice. I’m so sorry.”
“Forget it already.” Eve smiled. “You know I’m not that famous. The tabloids might not even be interested in a bunch of teenage ramblings.”
Jane and Liza exchanged looks. Yeah, right. First, she had become that famous, and second, what tabloid wouldn’t love to take a shot at syndication’s newest rising star?
“You remember writing anything too hot and heavy?” Liza asked.
Eve’s smile vanished. “Right after my parents died I was pretty angry and bitter. Not very forgiving, either, as you well know.” She exhaled slowly. “I doubt there would be anything in the diaries that would lastingly damage my career, but I won’t lie, I don’t look forward to the humiliation of having my private thoughts and crazy teenage angst publicized.”
“We won’t let that happen,” Liza said, aware that she hadn’t done such a great job so far. “When I leave here I’m going to Rick’s apartment and tear it apart. Without him looking over my shoulder I may be able to find a clue as to where he’s keeping the diaries.”
“I’ll go with you,” Jane said.
“Unfortunately, I have an important meeting with the network bigwigs in less than an hour.” Eve glanced at her watch. “I’ll be free this evening.”
“That’s okay,” Liza said quickly. “I can do this by myself.” The thought of Jane or Eve seeing the degrading way she’d lived for the past several months made her want to crawl into a ball and weep.
“I want to help,” Jane insisted.
“Have I told you how terrific you look?” Liza asked, not just to distract her, which was part of it, but because Liza really meant it. “Your hair, your clothes, everything about you is really amazing.”
Jane blushed. “I’ve been seeing this guy….”
“Anyone I know?”
Jane shook her head. “But I can’t wait for you to meet him. His name’s Perry.”
While they talked, Eve’s interested gaze stayed on Liza, her brows slightly furrowed as if she was obsessing over something that puzzled her. In the old days, Liza would’ve made a teasing remark. But not now, and
it hurt so badly to realize that their once solid relationship was now too fragile for even the slightest misstep. All her own fault.
“So, Liza,” Eve finally said, “tell us about Evan.”
Hearing his name was all Liza needed to burst out into tears again.
Chapter 16
After searching Rick’s apartment, Liza showered twice and still she felt his filth coating her skin. She’d filled three huge garbage bags of empty booze bottles and rotting food that, with the help of two guys working on a car, she hoisted into the Dumpster. She swore he hadn’t washed his clothes or linen in months, and with total disgust she rummaged through each and every pocket, hoping for a clue as to the diaries’ location. But she found nothing.
She’d worked at it well into the night, and eventually collapsed in exhaustion on her couch, too tired to even check out the refrigerator for a cola or some juice. Earlier Mary Ellen had knocked on the door and offered to make macaroni and cheese for dinner since Liza had totally forgotten to pick up burgers, but she wasn’t in the mood to be around anyone. She wasn’t only physically tired, her brain had gone in circles all day and had started to fizzle out.
Tomorrow was going to be a big day. She had to talk to Kevin Wade about withdrawing the lawsuit. That wouldn’t be pleasant. He’d inevitably have questions she wouldn’t want to answer. At least he’d already been paid. A total waste of money, but she’d already let that go. Then she had to talk to Rick.
The mere thought made her stomach roll. She hated seeing him, even more than she hated offering him one cent of Eve and Jane’s winnings. And she wouldn’t yet. First, she’d try and bluff him. He couldn’t spend the money from prison, and she found enough heroin hidden in his apartment to put him away for a while. He’d been so messed up most of the time that he probably had forgotten his hiding places.
She realized the case could get sticky since she’d given him the money for the drugs, but at this point she didn’t care. What did she have to lose? Not a damn thing. She’d already lost everything that mattered. Eve and Jane were still her friends, but they had to harbor some ill feelings. They were, after all, human.
Evan hated her. He had to.
She shuddered, thinking of the disappointment on his face. He’d made it clear that there was nothing she could tell him that would make a difference. He was right, of course, so she hadn’t even bothered trying to call him.
But there was still this huge part of her that wanted to tell him she wasn’t as bad as he thought she was. That she’d made foolish mistakes but her intention had been honorable. Even if he never wanted to speak to her again, did he have to think she was such an awful person?
Her cell phone rang, and damned if it wasn’t sitting clear across the room. She struggled to her feet and reached it right before it would’ve gone to voice mail. It was Eve.
“Hey,” Eve said as soon as Liza answered.
The casual familiarity of her voice had an amazingly emotional effect on Liza and it took her a second to compose herself. “Hey. Wish I had good news.”
“No?”
“I searched places where no man or woman should have to go, especially without a tetanus shot. I found nothing. I’m sorry.”
Eve paused. She had to be disappointed, but didn’t let it show when she said, “You shouldn’t have had to do that alone.”
“Are you kidding? Do you remember who got us into this mess?”
“Knock that off. We’re in this together, remember?”
“If you make me cry I’m gonna be so pissed off.”
Eve laughed softly. “Have you been to the hospital yet?”
“No. That’s tomorrow.”
“Have you called Evan?”
Liza briefly closed her eyes. There were some things she didn’t miss about having well-meaning but in-your-face friends. “That won’t happen.”
“Why not?”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t blame him.”
“Okay, here’s the problem…Nicole, the woman who took your place, she’s leaving. Going home to California after the holidays. So if you’re taking your old job back, you’ll likely be bumping into—”
“Wait a minute.”
“What?”
Liza’s heart somersaulted. “Are you offering me my old job?”
“Yes, I am.”
She heard the smile in Eve’s voice, and dared to hope. Maybe there truly were no residual ill feelings. Well, that just made her feel worse. “I sued half the people associated with the show. I think that might be a little awkward.”
“Maybe at first. But you are dropping the lawsuit and you’re a damn good producer.”
For one of the few times in her life, Liza didn’t know what to say. She didn’t deserve to have her old job back. Yet she wanted it with all her heart. “Have you discussed this with Jane and Cole and the others?”
“Of course Jane is over-the-moon excited at the prospect. Cole is the only other person with whom I’ve discussed this. He wants you back.”
Cole Crawford was the supervising producer with whom she’d always gotten along, but he was also one of the lottery winners named in the lawsuit. “Seriously?”
“You’ll make his job easier. He’s also the only other person I told about the diaries. He even offered to kick in some money if it comes to that, which, of course, I wouldn’t allow, but still that’s Cole.”
Liza swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I don’t deserve any of you guys.”
“Stop it already. Just say you’ll come back.”
“I want to. I do, but—”
“Then it’s settled.”
“If it causes any problems at all—”
“We’ll address them at the time.” Eve paused. “In the meantime, you should call Evan.”
“Why?” Liza asked, although she knew where Eve was coming from. Working at the station, she was bound to occasionally run into Evan. The thought made her pulse quicken. Foolish to get excited, though. He thought she was scum.
Eve scoffed. “Don’t be obtuse.”
“He’ll ignore me and that’ll be fine.”
“Liza.”
“Look, Eve, I know you’re trying to help, but trust me, I’m the last person in the world he wants to hear from. Leave it alone.”
“If you don’t quit being so damn hard on yourself, you’ll never know, will you?”
Liza bit back a remark. “I’ll think about it.”
“Right. You do that.” Eve paused, and Liza could hear someone talking in the background. “Look, you’re off the hook for now. I’ve got to go.”
Liza smiled. “Go.”
She disconnected the call and got comfortable on the couch again. It wasn’t about to be easy trying to slide back into her old life. There was bound to be resentment. And seeing Evan was going to be beyond horrible. But she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to return to the best job she’d ever had or would ever have again.
Evan wouldn’t be a problem. He’d be the perfect gentleman, smiling appropriately and greeting her in the halls, albeit briefly. An unknowing spectator wouldn’t have a clue that there was bad blood between them.
She was the one who’d suffer, watching him, knowing she’d screwed things up, knowing she’d never again be in the arms of the best man she’d ever been with. And she’d deserve every last excruciating minute.
* * *
“Thank you for meeting with me. I really appreciate it,” Eve said as soon as Evan walked into her office. “If you don’t mind, would you close the door?”
Evan did as she asked and then sat down on the chair opposite her, the same chair he’d sat in last week when he’d come asking for her help. That was the only reason he was here now—to return the favor, even though any conversation about Liza was pointless. Two nights ago her actions had said it all. Nothing more to talk about.
“Would you like a cola or a bottle of water?” she asked.
“No, thank you. I only have a few min
utes.”
“Right.” She smiled knowingly. “I won’t take up much of your time.”
As if on cue, his cell phone rang. “Excuse me, I have to take this.” He looked at the caller ID. It was someone from Grady Memorial. Had to be about Rick, but why call him? He hesitated. This may not be a conversation he wanted to have in front of Eve.
“Do you need some privacy?” she asked.
“No, I’ll return the call.” He slipped the phone back into his pocket, curious as all get-out. “If this is about Liza, our conversation won’t take long.”
Eve looked at him hard. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’re thinking right now….”
“To tell you the truth, I’ve stopped thinking. Nothing to say, nothing to think about.” He meant it. He’d beaten himself up enough for being a chump.
“I was there night before last. I saw what happened.”
“You and everyone else.”
Eve gave him a long, measuring look. “I hope this isn’t about ego.”
He laughed humorlessly. “She lied to me, and then she used me. Is that clear enough?”
Jerking her head back, she frowned. “How did she use you? She did no such thing.”
He stared back at her, confused. “So now you’re suddenly on her side?”
“I know Liza, and obviously she’s done some stupid things, but she’s never used anyone.”
“You know what?” He got to his feet. “This is a complete waste of time.”
“Wait, please. Let me explain something to you, and then I swear I’ll never say another word about Liza.”
Between curiosity and the pleading in her green eyes, he stopped. How could she still defend the woman who’d betrayed her? “This better be good.”
“Oh, it is.” Eve gave him a weary smile. “Everything she’s done in the past year, including filing the lawsuit, has been to protect me.”
That got his attention. He sank back into the chair. “I’m listening.”
* * *
Evan threw his car keys on the counter and went straight to the refrigerator. Usually he kept a six-pack in there in case Elton or Eric dropped by, but he couldn’t remember what was left. Man, he sure could use a cold beer about now.
What She Really Wants For Christmas Page 16