“So, it’s not on silent?” Sterling asked, shifting his weight again as he placed a hand on the back of a chair, supporting some of his mass.
“Damn,” Kessed muttered. “It’s on silent. Seriously.”
Sterling tilted his head as his gaze zeroed in on her. “Are you afraid of what Jasper will think when you don’t answer your phone? Or a text?”
Kessed glanced to the floor. “Yes and no. But mostly, it’s just rude.” She tried to dodge the line of questioning, not trusting where Sterling would take it.
Or how she’d handle it herself.
“So, he’s not sure.” Sterling wouldn’t let go of the conversation.
Kessed walked around the couch, putting it between them, needing a buffer. “Not sure about what?” she asked, immediately regretting the question.
“Whether he has you or not. Did you…” Sterling winced slightly as he released the back of the chair and took a few tentative steps toward her. “Did you ever mention me? If so, he probably thought I had my head up my ass to not chase you down.” He gave a humorless chuckle.
“Something like that,” Kessed admitted, remembering the conversation that felt like a lifetime ago.
“So, you did talk about me.” His expression changed into a confident grin.
Kessed glanced away, needing to keep her head clear, and it was so damn difficult with his cocky and sexy grin. But it was different; something had shifted, and while she was attracted to the grin, it didn’t have that deeper effect that moved her. It was hard to explain yet tangible enough to feel.
Sterling persisted. “He was right. I’ve said as much before, but I get the feeling that there’s this knife point, and you have to jump off one side or the other….” He started to walk around the couch, limping slightly, but Kessed could see the determined stride of a man on a mission.
Slowly, he reached for her hand, his warmth seeping through her fingers, and while one part of her fought against it, knowing it was the wrong hand, the wrong response, an older part of her resonated with the words he’d said, so she didn’t pull away.
He was right. She was trying to walk a line that was impossible to navigate, and as much as she wished he wouldn’t push the issue, someone needed to resolve it.
Leave it to Sterling to be the aggressive one.
“I have your history, Kess. I share it because a lot of it was mine too.” His gray eyes sobered as he met her gaze. “And I was an ass.”
Kessed couldn’t help the giggle that had bubbled up. “Some things never change.”
Sterling’s answering chuckle made her grin widen. “I deserve that. And it’s just one of the things I love about you. Yes. Love.” He paused, waiting for the words to sink in. “You don’t take my shit, and when I was too full of my own damn self, you didn’t a write me off but were always there. And I don’t want to lose that to some guy who recognized right away what I was too stupid to figure out until it was almost too late.” Sterling took another step toward her, his bare toes only an inch away from hers as he reached up his other hand to grasp her waist. The scent of fresh soap and latex bandages clung to him, making a memory that instantly broke her heart.
As much as she wanted to say yes, to close the distance and kiss him like all the hundreds of times she’d dreamt of kissing him… it wasn’t right.
Because while Sterling, the one man she’d always loved, was finally loving her back… her heart had found a home with someone else.
“Sterling.” She whispered his name, feeling her brow furrow as she tried to formulate the words.
But he didn’t give her a chance; rather, he closed the distance and met her lips.
Frozen, Kessed pulled back in surprise, only to hear the front door close.
Fear, shame, and confusion flowed over her like white water as she turned and met the familiar green gaze of Jasper.
His expression froze as he took a deep breath. “Laken accidently took your phone. She handed it to me as she came back to the ranch to drop off…” He spoke slowly.
“Thanks,” Sterling answered for her, his voice shaking her from her frozen position.
Stepping from Sterling’s arm at her waist, she watched as he quickly shifted his weight to balance himself on his good leg. His gaze flashed with pain, but not the kind that came from his injury.
The kind that came from a broken heart.
“Jasper, wait.” Kessed glanced to him, taking a few steps toward the front door.
He took a step backward, dropping his chin, lowering his gaze to the hardwood floor. “It’s on the table.” He set her phone down and turned to the door.
Kessed twisted her lips. “Okay, cowboy, outside.” She strode past him, opened the front door, and waited, pursing her lips. Damn it all, this is going to be fixed and fixed right now.
Jasper’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he walked out the door. His shoulders had straightened, as if expecting a blow.
Kessed nodded toward the barn and waited for him to catch up then faced him, thinking through all the things she wanted to say.
His green eyes flashed with familiar fire that immediately resonated deep in her heart. “Kess, I’ve already laid it on the line for you. I’m not… I’m not the kind of man who can pretend something he doesn’t feel. I don’t have it in me. But what I need to know is if you’re that kind of woman? Because if this”—he pointed between the two of them —“isn’t enough, then don’t pretend it is. Don’t string me along.” He kicked the dirt with his boot.
“I—”
“Hold up.” He raised a hand, and she closed her lips, waiting.
“I want it to be enough,” Jasper whispered then lifted his gaze, meeting hers. “I want it so damn much it hurts. And I don’t know what the hell that was in there, but it looked like goodbye. I just wish I would have heard it, rather than seen it.” He breathed out a long exhale.
“Are you done yet?” Kessed asked, arching a brow.
Jasper frowned slightly, clearly confused as he nodded once.
“Finally,” Kessed replied a moment before grabbing his white T-shirt and pulling him close, catching him by surprise as she met his lips.
He immediately returned her kiss then backed off, as if remembering their conversation and still not sure as to the conclusion.
“Not you,” she whispered against his lips.
His shoulders tensed as the words sank in.
“Goodbye… but not to you. Never to you.”
Jasper’s shoulders flexed under her hands as she reached up and pulled him closer.
He immediately grasped her hips and pressed her in tightly then lifted her from the ground as he met her lips, kiss for kiss.
“Why didn’t you just say so?” he asked between pulling at her lower lip and nibbling at the corner of her mouth.
“My man of few words decided to overcommunicate.” Kessed pulled away, grinning wildly as she saw the tension, fear, and indecision melt from Jasper’s gaze.
“I’ll stick to one-word answers from now on,” he replied, splaying his hand across her back as he nuzzled her neck.
Kessed sighed happily. “Maybe not all the time.”
Jasper chuckled then slowly set her down, his expression puzzled yet not concerned. “Would you mind setting the record straight, Kess? What exactly did happen in there?”
Kessed took a deep breath, knowing this was important, yet wishing she could simply leave it in the past.
But that was not how life worked.
The past had a direct effect on the present. Sterling wasn’t an exception to the rule, but not in the way she would have ever guessed.
Rather than stealing her heart away from Jasper, he’d set her free to give it away fully.
And she told Jasper as much. “He wanted to know where my heart was, and rather than confuse me… which I’ll admit totally
happened at first… it just made the decision clearer. Because while Sterling had my attention, you stole my heart and ended up with both.”
Jasper smiled, his full lips showing off his white teeth. “You made me work for it,” he taunted.
“Don’t think the work is done.” She winked. “I fully expect to keep you on your toes when you’re seventy-five and deaf. And I expect flowers every anniversary and red boots every few years.”
“You expecting to keep me that long?” Jasper regarded her with something swirling in his green eyes that fascinated her, yet was unreadable.
“I’m not the kind of girl”—she paused, arching a brow—“who can say things she doesn’t feel.” She turned his words around.
“Touché.” Jasper chuckled as she heard a car pull up in the drive and then another close behind.
“Laken and Cyler.” Kessed nodded to the two vehicles as the dust settled. “They must have just picked up take-out.”
“Since they are here, you want to come home with me? I have something for you.” Jasper laced his fingers through hers.
Kessed glanced to the house then back to Jasper. “Wouldn’t miss it, but I need five minutes.”
Jasper twisted his mouth. “Sterling.”
Kessed nodded. “He deserves to hear it from me, though I’m sure he already knows.”
“You want me to come with you?” Jasper offered.
Kessed paused. “I think I need to do this on my own.” She squeezed his hand.
“Then I’ll be waiting out here. Give you some space.” He reached out and kissed her forehead, lingering a moment before releasing her.
“Thanks.” Kessed stepped from his nearness, immediately missing the close contact.
Laken and Cyler waved as she approached. Cyler broke off and headed in Jasper’s direction while Laken walked toward her friend. “What’s up?” Laken glanced between her and Jasper.
“The long and short is that… Sterling kissed me, Jasper saw it, and I just fixed everything but your brother’s broken heart, and now I’m going to try and salvage that by letting him down easy.” Kessed blew out a tense breath.
“I was only gone for a little while.” Laken blinked, lifting a sack of Chinese take out, proving her point.
“Apparently, an hour was long enough,” Kessed replied. “Can you give me a few minutes to talk with Sterling?”
“Sure. I’ll join you in a little while.” Laken squeezed her friend’s arm. “Take it easy on him.” She gave a sympathetic smile.
“As easy as I can.” Kessed took a deep breath and walked to the house. “Sterling?” she asked as she opened the door.
“In here!” Sterling called from the living room.
As she walked down the hall and into the room, she didn’t see him but heard his breathing.
“Uh, where?” Kessed glanced around the room, again.
A hand lifted from the couch, and Kessed walked closer, leaning over the back and meeting Sterling’s resigned expression.
“Taking a nap?” she asked, moving around the couch and sitting on the arm.
“Band-Aid. Rip it off.” Sterling sighed, waiting.
“It’s not you. It’s me.” Kessed nodded sagely.
“Bullshit,” Sterling answered, then a grin broke out on his face. “Seriously, that’s all you’ve got?”
“It made you smile, didn’t it?” Kessed asked, grinning.
“Damn it all.” Sterling shook his head and slowly sat up. “At least it wasn’t the friends talk.”
Kessed nodded. “Hey, Sterling?”
He met her eyes.
“I really don’t want to screw up our friendship by being more. Let’s just stay friends.”
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls.” Sterling groaned, but his smile didn’t fade. “I want to hate you right now, but I can’t because you’re you, and I kinda like your brand of pain-in-the-ass.”
“Sweet nothings.” Kessed sighed dramatically.
Sterling regarded her, biting his lower lip. “So, Jasper?” he asked after a moment.
“You’ll like him.” Kessed nodded.
“That doesn’t make this easier,” Sterling assured her.
“Nope. But it will be in the long run.”
“Maybe.”
“Trust me.” She patted his leg gently. “Sterling?”
“What?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Don’t make this awkward.”
Sterling chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re certifiably crazy. But it’s part of your charm.” He took a deep breath. “Jasper, he knows that, right? Both that you’re bat-shit crazy, but also one of a kind?”
Kessed glanced down, smiling widely as she even thought about his name. “Yeah, he does. It works for us.” She glanced up to Sterling.
“Good. Then I guess I can be the bigger man and step aside. You gotta admit, I gave it a good shot, though.”
Kessed stood from the couch. “More than you know. Now don’t be a jerk to Laken. She’s probably going to be all worried about your emotional stability.”
“Being emotionally stable is overrated.”
“Clearly,” Kessed teased. “I’ll see you soon.”
“But maybe… not too soon. Give a guy some time to emotionally stabilize.” Sterling gave her a brave smile, but she could see the disappointment deep within his eyes.
“I got it.”
“Thanks, Kess.” Sterling slowly lay back down on the couch. “You can tell my sister I’m distressed enough to need vanilla ice cream. It’s the only thing that heals a broken heart.” He closed his eyes.
“I’ll pass along the message,” she murmured and walked to the door. As she closed it softly behind her, her face split into a grin seeing Jasper and Laken across the drive.
“You ready?” she asked, tilting her head.
“Thirty more seconds, and I was going to come in and kidnap you.” Jasper arched a brow, striding forward and giving her a quick, enthusiastic kiss.
“How’s Sterling?” Laken asked.
Kessed turned to her, noting her friend’s concerned expression. “He says that vanilla ice cream is the only thing that will mend his broken heart. Pretty sure you need to send Cyler to the store.”
“He’s fine, apparently.” Laken shook her head, amused.
“He will be.” Kessed returned her grin then tugged on Jasper’s hand. “C’mon.”
Jasper followed her willingly as they headed to his pickup. He opened the passenger side door for her and gave her a quick kiss before closing it.
As the engine rumbled to life, he grasped her hand.
Reminding her that home wasn’t always a place.
Sometimes it was a person.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Do I finally get to meet Rake?” Kessed asked as Jasper pulled into the drive.
“He can wait.” He grinned as he killed the engine. “I want you all to myself, and I’m pretty sure once you meet him, he’ll have you wrapped around his little hoof.”
Kessed shook her head, an amused grin on her beautiful face.
Jasper’s relief in this whole situation was palpable. Once she had kissed him, he’d dared to hope. Leave it to her to blindside him just when he was sure he’d lost her for good.
That had been the longest three minutes of his life. As he clasped her hand and walked to the house, he inwardly winced at the memory of her in Sterling’s arms, even though he now realized she’d been pulling away from the kiss rather than toward it.
He bit back a wave of jealousy.
It was one kiss that he wouldn’t have of hers, and damn it all, he wanted to own every last one.
“You’re quiet,” Kessed noted as he opened the screen door to his home.
He gave her a small grin. “As opposed to my normal chatty self?”
he teased.
“Valid point. Let me rephrase. You’re thinking. What are you thinking about?” She gave him a sassy grin.
“You,” he answered honestly. “And how glad I am that you’re here… with me. I, uh…” Heat flooded his face at the realization. “I’m a bit more possessive than I realized.”
“Ah.” Kessed nodded. “Still working through it.” She squeezed his hand.
“It kinda traumatized me to think I lost you,” he answered honestly, laying his heart out there again.
Apparently, he couldn’t stop if he wanted to.
“I’m sorry.” Kessed glanced to his hands, twining her fingers through them softly as she lifted them to her lips.
“Nothing to apologize for.” Jasper snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her in close, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair as he kissed her head.
“Am I interrupting?” Harper’s voice broke through the moment, and Jasper felt a flare of irritation with his sister.
“Always.” He softened his words with a grin.
“Just doing my job,” she replied. “Good to see you, Kessed. He’s been a wreck. Take it easy on his heart. He’s not as young as he used to be.” She gave a quick wink and walked to the door.
“Thanks, sis.”
Harper turned around. “I got your back.” She gave a quick salute. “Hey, did you talk to Cyler about therapy for Sterling?” she asked, pausing by the door.
“Therapy?” Kessed asked.
“Yeah, I had a few moments before we headed over, and he said that it sounded like a good idea. He’s going to talk about it with Laken and then get in contact with you. Which reminds me…” Jasper fished out his phone and opened the messenger app. “I’m texting him your contact info. And I’ll send you a text with his so you don’t have a random number showing up.”
“Safety first.” Harper nodded sagely and a little bit mockingly.
“You can leave now.” Jasper pointed toward the door.
“I’m gone.” Harper lifted her hands in surrender. “I’ll be in the barn all night with Rake. He sleeps better when I take the loft. So…” She eyed the two of them. “Yeah, I’ll just go now.” She ducked out the door but not before Jasper noted a pink tinge to her cheeks.
The Courage of a Cowboy Page 21