by Bea Paige
“Sure, we’d love to,” I say.
“Right then, through you go.” Judy walks back behind the desk, leans over and presses a button. An internal door swings open. “See you later.”
Hudson and I make our way to Beth’s room. Inside, it is more like a hotel than a care home. The halls are decorated a soft lemon and hanging on the walls are pretty landscape paintings. Underfoot are patterned tiles, similar to ones you might expect to find in a Moroccan home. A lovely scent permeates the place, there is no smell of ill health here.
“This place is nothing like I imagined it would be,” I say.
“It’s designed to be more like a home from home. The health care that is provided here is discreet and kept mainly to the residents’ private rooms. We loved that about this place. Plus, all the staff are highly trained and incredibly caring. This is a vocation, not a job, for the people who work here.”
We pass by a large floor-to-ceiling window providing a beautiful view of the garden beyond. Over the far side of the grounds I can see a large orangery, the sun glinting off the glass. It’s stunning. “I don’t think you could’ve picked anywhere better than here for Beth.”
“It’s the least I could do. I wish there was more. We’ve investigated all sorts of treatments, but there is nothing we can do for her.” Hudson stops outside a white door with a gold number 10 hanging on it. “Here we are,” he says. His hand is trembling. I must admit, my own anxiety levels are high. I really don’t know what to expect, but I must be strong for Hudson’s sake. He raps his knuckles on the door lightly.
“Come in,” a voice calls from inside.
“Beth?” I say.
“No, that’ll be Daisy, her carer. Beth doesn’t talk… at least she hasn’t said a word to me ever. I’m told she occasionally speaks in single words to others, but that’s been a more recent development.” His voice trails off at the admission.
We enter the room. A young woman dressed in a light pink top and trousers greets us.
“Hello Hudson, nice to see you again. Beth is out on the patio. She’s having a good day today,” the carer says, by way of greeting.
“Thank you, Daisy. This is Louisa, my girlfriend. I wanted to introduce her to Beth, if you think that’s okay?”
Daisy looks at me. She too has a sweet, open face. Her gentle blue eyes regard me with interest. “I think it will be fine. Let’s see how it goes, eh? Follow me.”
Daisy makes her way through Beth’s surprisingly large room, which is more like an apartment really. It too is decorated beautifully. This time a calm, baby blue colour covers the walls. The word serene comes to mind. Hudson places his hand against my lower back as we follow Daisy through the French doors and onto the patio beyond her room. An inconspicuous ramp slants down from the doors to the path. To our left I can see a dark-haired woman sitting in a wheelchair. Her hair is long and shiny, held off her face in a plait that Max would be impressed with, and her head is supported by a raised headrest. My stomach does a little flip as I see her delicate hands resting on her lap, and the thinness of her body encased in a huge cream blanket. From my position I can only see her profile, but it’s enough to know she is beautiful, ethereal almost.
“Beth, you have a visitor,” Daisy says gently as she bends down in front of her so that Beth can see her directly. “Hudson’s arrived. Would you like to see him?”
Beth doesn’t speak, but she must indicate it’s okay another way because Daisy stands and beckons Hudson over. I make a move forward, but she shakes her head at me. “One at a time, okay?” she mouths.
“Sure,” I say softly.
Hudson looks at me for reassurance and I lean in and give him a kiss. “I’ll be right here.”
Daisy comes to stand by me as Hudson approaches Beth. He too bends down in front of her. I watch his expression change from abject fear to a bright smile as he leans forward and presses a kiss against her cheek. Beth’s eyes close briefly at the soft passing of his lips against her skin. My heart aches a little at the contact, not because I am jealous of such a show of affection, but because I can sense the sadness and longing she feels. I can’t imagine how horrific it must be to be trapped in a body that doesn’t want to work anymore.
For a few minutes Hudson talks to Beth about everyday stuff. He is sweet with her, caring. Not once does he show just how much he’s affected by her condition and in this moment, I love him even more than I thought possible. Hudson looks up at me and shakes his head minutely. Daisy presses her fingers lightly on my arm.
“I don’t think today is the best day to introduce you to Beth,” she says softly.
“It isn’t? How do you know that?” How does Hudson, given she hasn’t uttered a word?
“Her face is very expressive. She might not talk much, but she speaks to us in her own way. Over the years we’ve all learnt how to read Beth.” Daisy smiles kindly. “Come on, let me show you the orangery. It’s really rather lovely in there.”
I glance over at Hudson, who is holding onto Beth’s hand. She is staring intently at him. He must feel my gaze because he looks up briefly, an apologetic look crossing his face.
“We’re going for a stroll, be back in a bit,” Daisy says.
Daisy and I walk along the path, towards the orangery. She stops every now and then to say hello to other residents, introducing me as a friend of Beth’s. Most people are happy to chat for a while, whilst others avoid conversation. Eventually we get to a point where we can talk more freely.
“How long have you worked here?” I ask.
“I started four years back. When my last resident passed away, I was assigned to Beth. She’s a lovely woman.”
“Hudson’s told me a lot about her…”
“He’s a good man, your Hudson. There are some relatives and friends who just can’t cope with seeing the people they love so entirely different to what they once were. At first, they visit regularly, then those visits dwindle. It’s sad, but I see it happen a lot, unfortunately.”
“I can imagine. Hudson says Beth suffers with post-traumatic stress disorder.”
“That’s right. Her ordeal was horrific, and she withdrew into herself. It’s common in cases such as hers, but lately she has been saying the odd word here and there. We’ve had to tread carefully. We don’t want anything to prevent her from progressing further. Which is why…” Daisy holds the door to the orangery open for me.
“Which is why I wasn’t introduced,” I say, finishing the sentence for her.
“Beth has trouble communicating verbally because of what happened to her. There are days when she is lost within herself, and it takes some time to coax her out. We don’t want anything to set her back. Your relationship with Hudson could have a negative impact on her. Hudson could tell just by being with her that it might be a possibility.”
“I understand.”
Daisy and I walk into the centre of the orangery and sit on a wooden bench. Behind us a large vine is growing along the glass. It’s warmer in here than it is outside, so much so I have to remove my jacket.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you and Hudson meet?”
Daisy is genuinely interested, and I don’t feel as though she’s prying at all.
“I met Hudson, Bryce and Max in Alpe D’Huez in France.”
“Ah, yes. I remember Hudson saying they were going skiing over Christmas. He came to visit Beth before he left. Were you staying in the same resort?”
“The same chalet…”
She looks at me a little confused. I laugh.
“I was their chalet girl.”
“Really?” She grins at me. “I’ve only met Bryce and Max a handful of times when they’ve visited Beth with Hudson. They seem like a handful.”
“You could say that,” I say, not elaborating further. Daisy seems pleasant, but I’m not about to get into my relationship with Max and Bryce as well.
“Well, I’ve pried too much already. I’m going to head back, Beth gets tired after her visits. D
o you want to walk back with me? I can show you the café, you could grab a coffee while you wait.”
“I think I’ll stay here, if that’s okay?”
Daisy swipes a loose strand of her copper hair behind her ear. “Of course. I’ll let Hudson know where to find you.”
“Thanks.” I watch her leave the orangery and head back over to where Hudson is still sitting with Beth. When he sees her, he gets up and Daisy points in my direction. They have a quick exchange of words before he returns to Beth and presses a kiss against her forehead. I watch as he cups her cheek and says something before walking in my direction. A minute later he is pushing open the door and entering the orangery. He spots me immediately.
“Hey, baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t introduce you,” he says, striding over and sitting down beside me. His face is flushed, his green eyes bright. He looks happy.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, a strange feeling welling inside my chest. It feels a little like jealousy. I know it’s wrong, and selfish. I push the jealousy down, feeling sick to my stomach at my reaction.
“It’s better than okay. Beth spoke to me. She actually talked,” he says, grabbing hold of my hand. “It was so good to hear her voice, Louisa.”
“What did she say?” I ask, pushing down the jealous voice that is trying to poison my thoughts.
“Not much, a few words. I mean, I did most of the talking, but she was there, you know. Present. Whenever I’ve visited before, she’s always been lost within herself.”
“I’m happy for you Hudson…” I pull in a shuddering breath. Christ sake, get a hold of yourself.
“What’s the matter?” Hudson asks.
“Ignore me, I’m just feeling a little…” Jealous. Just say it.
Hudson brings his fingers under my chin and tips my head to face him. “Talk to me,” he demands.
“You’ll think I’m a bad person. I think I’m a bad person.”
“Louisa…” His voice has taken on a stern edge. He hates it when I hold my feelings inside, which is kind of ironic given he is ten times worse when it comes to sharing his own feelings. Although, of late we are both considerably better.
“When I saw the way you were with Beth, saw your compassion, it filled me with love and then, unexpectedly, with jealousy. You love her, and she loves you. Any fool can see that.” I chew on my lip, feeling horrible. Beth is in a wheelchair, she has suffered a huge amount of turmoil, and here I am, jealous of the place she holds in Hudson’s heart.
Hudson sighs. “I care about Beth deeply, I want what’s best for her, but I don’t love her, not in the way you think. Louisa, our relationship was only just beginning when this shit happened to her. Yes, I am filled with guilt, terrible guilt over what happened, but that isn’t why I come here.”
“I’m sorry, Hudson. I’m a terrible person.”
“No, you’re not, you’re human.” He squeezes my hand. “Beth will remain in my life forever. I won’t abandon her, and I care about her enough to want to remain a part of her life so long as she’ll have me in it, but we can never pick up what once was. I came to terms with that a long time ago and I think, finally, so has Beth. One day soon, when I think she’s strong enough, I’ll tell her about you. Daisy was right, today was too soon.”
“Does Beth believe you’re still in a relationship?”
“No. She absolved me of any sense of duty a long time ago. We’re just friends, but I am mindful of her feelings. You understand, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do. I’m so proud of you, Hudson.”
Hudson pulls me to my feet. “Come on, let’s go home. We’ve got a holiday to pack for.”
Chapter Six
Having dropped off our bags at check-in, the six of us sit in the Club class lounge at the airport. Hudson, Calum and Max are chatting at the bar, whilst Bryce, Nisha and I are relaxing at our spot by the window. I am leaning into Bryce’s arms, watching the planes take off. It’s kind of exhilarating.
“Hey, sweetheart, you alright? Not nervous about the flight or anything?” Bryce says as he strokes his fingers against my arm.
“No, not at all,” I say with a grin. “In fact, I can’t wait to get on the plane.”
Nisha laughs. “Yep, she’s looking forward to joining the mile-high club...”
“Shut up, Nish,” I say, grabbing a peanut from the bowl on the table and throwing it at her. She dodges it, giggling.
“As I recall, it was you who was looking forward to joining that particular club.”
“Me?” Nisha pulls a face. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
“What kind of girl is that, then?” Calum asks as he plops down in the chair next to her.
“The kind of girl who enjoys sexy time on board a plane,” I say, enjoying watching Nisha squirm.
“Is that so?” Calum grins like the Cheshire cat. Nisha swipes her hand at him and mumbles something under her breath. We all burst out laughing.
Bryce leans down and whispers into my ear, “All joking aside, I’m happy to oblige, Louisa.” His low voice is full of sauce and a dash of heat.
I press my hand against his broad chest, my fingertips grazing against the hair that peeks out of the top of his button-down shirt. I love this part of his body. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of him, but his broad chest and dark hair has got to be my favourite.
“Are you joking?” I ask, a rather surprisingly large part of me thrilled at the prospect.
“Sweetheart, when it comes to making love to you, I never joke.”
Forty-five minutes later we are boarding the plane. The flight to Bangkok is around eleven and a half hours. We aren’t staying in Bangkok, instead opting to catch the first connecting flight to Krabi International airport, another one and a half hours. We’ll be staying in Krabi at a beach side resort they’re planning on buying. Thirteen hours is a long time to spend on the plane, particularly with three horny men. After Bryce’s proposition, the low-level sexual tension that I always feel around my men has increased ten-fold. I don’t know if I’m giving off some kind of pheromone or something, but all three of them are giving me their best fuck-me looks and the tension between us seems to be ratcheting up several hot notches. This flight is going to be interesting, to say the least; either incredibly exciting or ridiculously frustrating.
I end up sitting next to Bryce in our own enclosed section. Our seats fold down into single beds with just a small table between us. Max and Hudson are across the aisle in an exact duplicate layout of our seats, and Nisha and Cal are a few aisles in front of us. There is no one else in business class apart from us six and I wonder whether that was the plan all along. They certainly have the money to buy all the seats to ensure we have our privacy.
“Comfortable, sweetheart?” Bryce asks.
“Very,” I say, even though I’m not comfortable, not at all. Frankly, I need to satiate this ridiculous desire that is making it hard for me to concentrate.
Bryce laughs. “You seem it.”
He knows me so well. They all do. Across the aisle, Max and Hudson take off their jackets and hand them to the air stewardess. Max is wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt and I can see the faint scar on his arm where he was slashed with a knife. It still makes me feel sick knowing how much worse it could have been.
“Hey, Icy, you alright?” Max says, noticing me watching him. He leans down to give me a kiss. It isn’t a quick peck. It’s lingering, full of heat.
“This flight is eleven hours long…” he murmurs against my mouth.
“I know that,” I say, my cheeks flushing under the heat of his gaze. He gives me an admiring look; the mirth on his face as I squirm under his scrutiny is both thrilling and a little irritating.
“Catch you in a while, Icy,” he says with a wink.
“You guys are driving me crazy,” I mutter under my breath. Clearly not quietly enough given the look of delight on Bryce’s face.
“It’s easily resolved, sweetheart,” he says. “You just need to join the club. As
I said, I’m happy to take you through the membership details…”
“Stop it! People will hear,” I hiss under my breath, my cheeks blushing and my heart pounding traitorously.
“Well, that’s certainly not a no,” he says, and I hear the distinct note of challenge in his voice. Oh boy.
As I settle into my seat, making myself comfortable, I remember the first time I laid eyes on my men. That time Hudson had sat next to me on the flight to Grenoble, and even though I had thought they were all egotistical arses, there is no denying that I had been instantly attracted to them all. I glance over to Hudson who is talking with Calum and Nisha. Nisha catches my eye and gives me a thumbs-up. Her smile is infectious, and I can’t help but grin back. This is the first time she’s been on a plane and she is beyond excited. Calum wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close against his side. She leans into his touch, her face filled with love and adoration. My own heart swells with love for her, my best friend. I am so glad she’s found happiness. She deserves it. We’ve come a long way, Nisha and I. Not because we have found wealthy men to fall in love with, but because we have healed the wounds of our past and allowed ourselves to be loved and to love in return.
The air stewardess walks over to the group and says something. They all nod. Calum and Nisha take their seats and Hudson walks towards his. Time for take-off, it seems. He stops by me, glancing down at my lap.
“You might want to do that up,” he says, repeating the first words he ever said to me.
“Sorry?” I say, playing along. Hudson smiles slowly as he leans over, grabs the seatbelt and tightens it. He is wearing the same aftershave he wore the first time we met.
“There, you’re all strapped in and ready for take-off,” Hudson says, placing a hand either side of me on the armrests. He leans down, and I tilt my head back to receive his kiss. As usual, it is full of heat, passion and goddamn filth. Just the way I like it. Bloody hell, these men are determined to turn me into a gibbering mess before we’ve even landed in Thailand.