by Sally John
“Andrea, where’s my coffee?”
Paul’s voice bowled through her thoughts, knocking aside her questions. In a flash she knew what he was really saying. He was concerned about his own peace of mind.
They stood in the kitchen not far from the coffeemaker with its steaming contents, not far from the cabinet in which sat his travel mug. Who would grind the beans tomorrow and turn on the pot and retrieve the cup? Who would launder his underwear and pick up his starched shirts from the dry cleaner? Who would feed the dog when the boys were at football practice?
In another instant she remembered why she was going. Soon after Jo’s phone call in May, Andie sat in church and listened to her priest explore Jesus’ admonition to “fear not.” Up until that point she had believed herself to be a fearless woman. Nothing daunted her. She faced spiders, snakes, and teenagers. Without so much as batting an eye, she cooked meat and potatoes for the football team one day and gourmet for a team of real estate agents the next. She ran her own business. She was a Proverbs 31 woman. Well, as near as possible, anyway. She didn’t sew.
That day of the sermon she realized that two things scared her witless: disappointing Paul and being by herself. Now, in one fell swoop, she was going to conquer them both. With the Lord’s help, she was going to obey Him.
Smiling at Paul, she brushed off his padded shoulders. “I’ll get your coffee, dear.”
Three
September 24
Southern Oregon Coast
“I don’t want to go.” Molly Preston cocked a hip and planted her fists at her sides, elbows akimbo. “Pure and simple. End of story.” For emphasis she raised a shoulder and whipped her head around to look over it. Her ponytail flicked an eye. Through watery vision, she saw her husband half buried in the car trunk. He’d missed her prima donna rendition.
“What?” Scott called, his voice muffled.
She shifted her weight to the other foot and turned back again to the street. From her vantage point at the end of their gravel drive, the Pacific Ocean was visible. It lay at the bottom of the hill, across Highway 101, the other side of a low craggy cliff. Just a pie slice of pearl gray through a tunnel of conifers beneath an overcast sky.
The car trunk thumped shut. “Sweetheart, what did you say?”
Molly flounced again to look at him, posing hip, shoulder, and face to underscore her declaration. “I said I don’t want to go.”
He walked down the drive, a slow smile creasing his cheeks, and shrugged nonchalantly. “So don’t go.”
“You think you’re calling my bluff, but I mean it. Take my bag out of the car this instant.”
Beside her now, Scott took one of her hands from its perch on a hip and laced his fingers through hers. “Hey, you’ve been waffling since Jo called four months ago.”
“This isn’t a waffle.” Was it?
“I thought we covered all the bases.” Scant more than a vibration of vocal cords, the low pitch of his voice soothed. “There is no reason for you not to go. The kids and I will be fine for a week. You had money stashed away in your little nest egg, which you’re allowed to spend on yourself once every forty years or so. And last but not least, a change of pace will do you good.”
She turned, pulling his arm across her waist, and leaned back against his chest, snug as a bug in a worn flannel shirt of a rug. At 5' 11" he did not tower over her. When she wore heels, they stood eye to eye. Goldilocks would have declared him just right.
Scott hooked his other arm around her and kissed her neck. “Careful, Mrs. Preston. The neighbors will start wagging their tongues about what a fresh upstart you are.”
His teasing brought a halfhearted smile to her face. That bit of gossip had circulated years ago. It was based on old Mrs. Bassett’s observations, which she gathered while peering out from behind her front yard cedar across the street.
Scott tightened his hold. His breath warmed her ear grown cold in the early morning. She knew he was waiting for her to explain why she did not want to go. He was a patient man.
She reached back and ruffled his short hair. Premature gray strands had woven themselves through the coffee brown, the only discernible physical change after twelve years of marriage. Outdoor work kept him as fit and trim as the day she first spotted him in a pickup softball game.
Molly savored the moment. The distant surf whished faintly. A bird twittered. She drank in thick coastal air laden with an exquisite blend of every single tree rooted in the Northwest. Fir, cedar, pine, myrtlewood, spruce, hemlock—
“Moll, you’re going to hyperventilate.”
She elbowed his ribs and normalized her breathing. “Look down there. At the rock.” She referred to a monolith-like boulder sitting offshore. Though distance minimized its size, in reality it was enormous.
“Mm-hmm. Your sentinel.”
Just one of an army of sentinels scattered along the Oregon coast. Five years before, when she and Scott and the children first traveled down the 101, thick fog had encased the entire route. It hovered over the town of Port Dunmore as they moved into their home. Three days later Molly walked out to the mailbox at the end of the drive. Lightning quick, a shaft of sunlight pierced through the mist and bounced off the ocean like Fourth of July sparklers. She spotted the boulder out there in the water, solid and silent. It was fixed in place and dependable, a soldier on guard. An instant sense of safety overwhelmed her.
“Scotty, this is home. Why would I want to leave?”
“To visit with your friends and not cook or clean.”
“You know what San Diego’s like. Crowded, noisy, no clouds, no sentinels.”
“You’re a Northwest snob with a temporary case of cold feet.”
“I suppose they’ll warm up in San Diego?”
“Definitely.” He turned her around to face him and took hold of her arms. “Look, I know life has taken a nosedive, but we’re pulling up and out of it. We are not going to crash and burn. You’re still just reeling from the swoop. Things will balance out. Maybe in San Diego. Okay?”
She saw the faint freckles on his narrow nose, the concern in his hazel eyes that the smile couldn’t hide. “Okay. Who knows? Maybe Superwoman will die there.”
“I love my Superwoman, but I also love my vulnerable wife who asks for help.” Pulling her close, he murmured, “Come here. I want to give you a goodbye kiss that’ll knock Mrs. Bassett’s socks off.”
Molly found her voice. “Is she watching?”
“With binoculars.”
One thing about Scotty was that he knew how to kiss. His adroitness cost her some minutes and poured confidence into the doubting spaces. It very nearly consumed her reluctance to leave home.
Nearly. But not quite.
Four
September 24
San Diego, California
Inside the bustling San Diego International Airport terminal number one, Jo spotted Molly moving at a snail’s pace. She was boxed in on all sides by hordes of passengers, some coming with her from the gates, others lined up and going the opposite direction toward security checkpoints.
Molly hadn’t changed a bit. Still tall as Jo. Still slender. Her nut-brown hair still straight and pulled back into a ponytail to reveal a face full of character with its high forehead, ski-slope nose, and full lips. That tiny upward curve of her mouth was still there, a perpetual suggestion of an imminent smile.
“Jo!” The suggestion burst into a full-on grin as Molly noticed her.
“Molly!”
With a laugh, they hurried to one another and embraced. Ignoring others who had to dodge them, they hugged long and hard. A dozen years melted away.
“Moll, let me look at you. You have not changed one iota.”
Molly glanced down at her long denim skirt, roomy matching jacket and loose-knit ecru sweater. “The baggy outfit covers hips that quite obviously accommodated four kids. But at forty, who cares?”
Jo smiled. Molly had always felt at home in her own skin. “You never cared at any age.
”
“Nope. You look as spiffy as ever, perfectly put together. How is it casual still looks elegant on you?”
Jo shrugged away the compliment and felt a stab of guilt. She’d always had the money to buy the best. Her tan chinos and long-sleeved white blouse were simple, but classically styled and made of fabric blends not found in chain department stores.
“Hey,” Molly said, “I’m about to toss my cookies, to quote my son. Too much stale air. Do you mind if we go outside?”
“Of course not. The baggage won’t be here for a few minutes.” She took Molly’s elbow and steered her toward a door. “I can’t guarantee how fresh the air is, though.”
“As long as it’s outdoors and away from all these people!” She shuddered in an exaggerated way. “I just need eighteen inches between me and the next guy.”
“No one would guess you grew up in Chicago.”
Automatic doors swished open and they walked out onto a sidewalk ablaze in sunshine.
“Ah.” Molly inhaled deeply. “This is great. It’s so warm!” She set down her backpack and slid off the jacket. “Scotty says I’m a Northwest snob.”
Jo laughed. “Well, the Northwest must suit you. You look great.”
“Thanks. The area does suit me. I love it.”
“How is Scott?”
“He’s…” Her pause was almost imperceptible.“…fine.” She nodded. “He’s good. Preaching up a storm in his own laid-back way on Sundays, planting trees and finding corners the rest of the week.”
“Finding corners?”
“It’s a type of surveying.” She tied the jacket around her waist. “And how are you, Dr. Zambruski?”
“I’m…” Jo rummaged in her purse for sunglasses. “…fine.” Slipping on the glasses, she caught Molly’s gray-green eyes studying her.
Okay, so she had paused too. Okay, so Molly had heard it.
The dozen years had indeed melted away, throwing the two of them right back to where they connected like sisters. It was a vulnerable situation because they had not shared on a deeply personal level for ages. The masks would have to come off now.
Jo felt a sudden weight on her shoulders. Was she capable of all that would entail? Too much time had passed. How could they ever catch up? Maybe she shouldn’t have orchestrated this gathering. What was she thinking? The trouble was, she hadn’t been thinking. She’d been riding a tidal wave of emotions.
“Jo.”
She realized she was gazing at her feet and lifted her chin .“What?”
“I am so glad you came up with this reunion idea.”
“Yeah?”
Molly nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t know how much I missed you until just now.”
The weight lessened considerably and shook loose her uncertainty. Jo smiled. “Ditto.”
Molly grinned. “Thank you, Josephine.”
“You’re welcome, Mary Catherine.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“You started it.”
“You could end it.”
Jo’s giggle rumbled from somewhere far away. Probably from the third grade.
Five
San Diego surprised Molly. They had lunched outdoors on the bay, a spot so peaceful she could hardly believe more than a million people lived nearby. Her cold feet began to warm up. Jo helped the process, of course. Being with her was like shrugging into an old comfy sweater.
Actually, Jo sort of resembled an old comfy sweater, somewhat haggard in appearance and swimming in her chinos and long-sleeved blouse. When Molly commented on her thinness, she murmured about work and stress. Her hair, pulled back into a banana clip, was still light brown, long, and straight, but when she tucked a strand behind her ear, the familiar gesture seemed a nervous motion. The slate blue eyes, though, danced as sassily as always.
Back at the airport after lunch, they stood in a crowded hallway, off to a side away from the streaming beeline of passengers buzzing toward the baggage claim area.
Jo laughed. “There they are.”
Char and Andie appeared on the escalator, bringing up the tail end, gabbing like a couple of magpies oblivious to their surroundings.
Without warning, Molly burst into tears.
Oh, Lord! Ninety minutes ago she had greeted Jo with laughter. Now tears?
Jo swung an arm around her shoulders and gave a quick squeeze. “Aww, honey. I thought you always liked Char and Andie. I’m afraid it’s too late to ditch them. They’re waving at us now.”
A sob won out over a giggle, and Molly dug into her skirt pocket for a tissue. Due to a recent onslaught of such unexpected crying jags, she always carried a bunch of them. One of the elderly ladies at church promised to get her some lace hankies. That was just what she wanted.
Jo went on. “In all fairness to the girls, I don’t suppose you’re crying because you don’t want them here. Let’s blame the old standby.”
She sniffed. “What’s that?”
“You know. The female’s multipurpose solution for every baffling malady under the sun.” She raised her brows.
Molly knew. It was what she suspected. “Hormones.”
“Yours have malfunctioned.”
She nodded and wiped her eyes. “They’re totally out of whack.”
“Menopause is just around the corner, dear.”
Her protest fizzled. Jo was an OB/GYN. She knew whereof she spoke. She probably knew plenty of fortyish women already experiencing menopause.
If there was such a thing as a natural-born doctor, Jo was it. She had diagnosed and offered treatment her entire life. One early memory was of her caring for Molly’s skinned knee after a bicycle accident. It had been no simple slapping on of a Band-Aid. A thorough cleaning, ointment application, a lecture, and a follow-up visit were involved. They were nine years old at the time.
Jo patted her arm now. “We’ll talk later about it. Check out those two. They haven’t changed much, have they? Char’s still cute and petite. You can tell by the look on her face that she’s never met a stranger. Andie’s still pretty. What is it about her that makes you feel all warm inside? She emanates freshness or something. Oh, Moll. How did we grow apart?”
It was a rhetorical question. Molly blinked away the last of her tears and waved. What Jo said about Char and Andie was true. Their features expressed their personalities.
Char was a sparkplug. Her hair, still short and blond, stuck out in every direction, evidently moussed that way on purpose. On most women the style would look downright frowzy. On her it looked good, as did the faddish outfit of floral capris and blouse. She was still in tune with fashion and displayed it well.
Andie’s hair was less bright than in the past. Its old vivid red color had faded to a subdued copper, its wild style replaced with neatly curled layers falling just above her shoulders. Her brown pantsuit revealed slightly rounded angles, as if she had found the thirty pounds or so that Jo inadvertently lost. The bit of plumpness gave her a matronly appearance, which only augmented the sweetness of her smile.
Carry-on bags and handbags thumped to the floor as they all squealed and took turns embracing one another.
“How y’all doing?” Char drawled in her whispery voice.
Andie giggled. “Oh, my! Isn’t this wonderful?” Her soft voice was pitched high like a little girl’s. “Where do we start?
Jo pointed down the walkway. “Baggage claim. Then to the beach house!”
They gathered their things and strolled through the airport, all chattering at once. Molly thought how easily they slipped into old roles. Jo led. Andie encouraged. Char sprinkled glitter. And she, Molly, followed half a step behind, the teammate ever alert to back up the others.
The past rushed at her, and tears filled her throat again. The stale air closed in, a suffocating blanket. A passerby cannonballed into her and raced off without apology or even backward glance.
It was time to regroup.
She noticed a row of pay phones. “Hey, guys, I told Scott I’d call when we al
l got here. I’ll meet you at the escalators?”
“Yes.”
“Sugar,” Char said, “don’t you have a cell phone?”
“Last woman on the planet without one.”
“Then take mine.”
“I can use these—”
“Don’t be silly. Those take forever and a day.” She produced a slender silver contraption and placed it in her hands. “Just push the send button. Give him our love.”
“Thanks.”
As they walked on, Molly stumbled toward the sunshine.
Seated on a sun-drenched concrete bench outside the airport, Molly held the phone to her ear. All around her people moved about. Cars stopped briefly at the curb. Police urged drivers not to linger. She closed her eyes.
The answering machine in her kitchen picked up the call. All six Prestons said their names, then Scott finished with the requisite “Please leave a message.” She pictured the kids coming in after school, excited to see the blinking red light on the device she referred to as Gloomy Gus. Most times it delivered only cheerless news that demanded immediate attention from Pastor Scott.
Lord, thank You for Gloomy Gus, this wonderful invention that allows me to be there when they walk in the door. I promise never to curse him again.
She chatted nonchalantly, describing her flight and what she had seen of San Diego so far. She spoke to each child individually, reminding them of school projects.
“Okay, that’s that. Love you, kiddos. Be good. Now let me talk to Dad. Scotty.” The lump returned to her throat and her chest tightened. She swallowed. “This is such an emotional thing. All at once I’m—I don’t know. I’m a forty-year-old body in a twentysomething head. It’s like my past just crashed into my present and they’re not gelling.”
She opened her eyes and glanced around. Was she making any sense to him? “It’s kind of…” She almost said scary, but realized curious Betsy would very likely still be listening to the machine. “Scary” would disturb her. “It’s kind of weird. But in a good way. So thank you for encouraging me to come. Bye. I love you.”