by Sally John
“Incredible!” Molly said, not for the first time. “Look at this cactus. It’s got to be twelve feet tall!”
“Oh, look at this one!” Char exclaimed from another path. “Then I’ll come see yours.”
A synthesizer version of a Bach minuet sang out energetically from Andie’s purse. She jumped.
Char, Jo, and Molly swung to face her, their expressions not as calm as a moment before.
“Sorry!” she called out and unzipped her bag.
They should have listened to Molly and never turned on their cell phones. But then Jo would not have heard her news, and that had been such a wonderful thing to share as it happened. The timing too meant they were able to see her building, her potential new home.
She read the ID screen and shook her head at Molly. It wasn’t Scott. It wasn’t Paul’s cell either. “My house.”
As the others went back to roaming through the cacti, she answered. “Hello.”
“Hey, Mom.” It was Zach.
“Mom?” And Jadon on an extension. “How’s it going?”
Zach said, “Catch any waves today?” They both laughed. They were still incredulous over her atypical behavior.
“No, not today. I skipped the boogie boarding and went out for breakfast instead. How are you guys?”
They chitchatted for a time. Andie discerned they had no idea about the morning’s conversation with their dad, and she was grateful he had not confided in them.
“So, Mom,” Zach said. “We have something of an emergency here.”
“Emergency?” Quick as a heartbeat, panic swelled in her chest.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “We just need a permission thingamajig signed and Dad’s not around. But Coach said if you call him, he’ll accept Aunt Jen’s signature. She said she’ll sign. It needs to be turned in tomorrow.”
Jen was Paul’s sister, their nearest relative.
“Okay.” Andie swallowed, trying to steady her voice and to not yell Where is your father?
“Give me the coach’s number. Wait.” She rummaged in her purse for the nifty notepad and pen that should have been in their own special compartment. She couldn’t locate the compartment, but her blurry eyesight and shaking fingers finally found a scrap of paper and another pen. “All right.”
Zach provided the number. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Mm-hmm. So where is your dad?”
“I think he said Milwaukee. Some meeting early tomorrow. He left this morning.”
Milwaukee was not a whole day’s drive from Madison. “Why did he leave already?”
She could almost hear Zach’s shrug. Neither of her sons was interested in the real estate business. Zach wanted to coach; Jadon wanted to be a forest ranger.
“He said something about setting things up. For a seminar maybe? I don’t know.”
“Are you going to spend the night at Aunt Jen’s?” They hadn’t done that for ages, not since declaring the little cousins were monsters to be avoided at all costs.
They groaned in unison.
“Mom, I’m sixteen. Jadon is almost eighteen,” Zach complained. “We have a car, we have food, we have money. We can get ourselves to school on time. We’re not afraid to spend the night alone. Heck, we did last night. I don’t know what time Dad came in.”
After six AM.
“He had a party to go to. By the way, Zach and I were in by eleven.”
“That’s great, but…but….” She bit her lip.
Zach said, “But what? We’re fine. You don’t have to worry.”
“But you’re not grown-up. You’re still only teenagers!”
“It’s football season. No girls, no booze, no partying if either of them are involved. No skipping class. Okay? We promise.”
Sports meant everything to them. They wouldn’t jeopardize their eligibility. They were disciplined beyond what she could have hoped for. They were good boys. At times she had even been embarrassed when other moms complained about their teens and she had nothing to add to the woeful conversation.
“But—”
“Mom,” Zach said. “Will it help if we tell the Smiths and the Hadaceks we’re here alone?” He mentioned neighbors who would pay attention if informed.
“I suppose.” She wanted to tell them of her plans to stay longer in San Diego. How could she do that now? “I feel like your parents have abandoned you.”
They hooted. “Mom!” Jadon said. “Let it go!”
Let it go. Let be.
All right, Lord.
Her sons were fine.
The desert landscape provided no benches, no grass, only narrow blacktop paths and dirt. Lots of dry dusty earth.
And a few big rocks.
Andie lunged toward one and plopped onto it before her legs gave out. Like a downed soldier, she waited. Within moments Jo, Molly, and Char surrounded her.
“What happened?”
She told them about the conversation with Zach and Jadon.
Char laid a hand on her shoulder. “They sound so grown-up, sugar. They’ll be just fine. You’ve done a great job with them, Mom.”
Molly said, “Milwaukee is not that far away. And surely he’ll call them.”
“I don’t know. A week ago he didn’t have any business scheduled in Milwaukee. Maybe he’s not even that far away. Maybe he’s just at her place. Maybe he’ll check in with them. Oh! How can I ever tell them I’m leaving their dad? I couldn’t even tell them I’m not coming home until next week!”
Jo scrunched down on her haunches. “I know I’m the inexperienced one in the group as far as husbands and kids go. But it seems to me you have just described a highly undisciplined, sneaky, self-centered man. You think they don’t know this about him?”
She stared at Jo.
“They’re obviously smart kids. My bet is they’ve deduced a whole lot more about him than you might realize.”
Molly said, “It would explain why neither one are the least bit interested in his work. From what you told me before, the only thing they all have in common is him watching them play sports.”
Char leaned over and hugged her tightly. “Let it go, sugar. Let it go.”
They ate dinner in a starkly decorated restaurant. Footsteps and voices echoed in a low drone off the wooden floor and high ceilings. Framed prints for sale hung about the large open room. They were of a postmodern style Molly would have to study for an incredibly long time to comprehend the astronomical price tags. Rich coffee aromas mixed with those of exotic spices. Only organic fruits and vegetables and whole grains and hormone-free meats were served, not counting the dessert menu they’d already perused. Plenty of regular old fat and sugar available there. It was definitely a Molly place, perfect for her do-over celebration.
“Hey!” Char exclaimed. “I just thought of something! Maybe Paul is on his way here! Like Cam!”
Andie couldn’t help but smile at Char across the table. Her expression was that of a little girl who’d just opened a gift and found exactly what she wanted.
“I bet he is coming.”
“Paul wouldn’t—”
Three frowns cut off her statement of disbelief.
Char said, “Who would have ever imagined Cam waking up like he did?”
“He didn’t have a girlfriend.”
“Well, no. Still, he just needed to hear what was on my mind. You told Paul what was on your mind. Trust me, it has thrown him for a loop. He’ll see what he’s about to lose and then he’ll hightail it out here. Flights from Madison simply take longer than Chicago’s.”
Molly said, “What would you do, Andie? If he came?”
She turned to her. “I don’t know what I’d do if he showed up. It’s almost impossible to imagine it happening.”
“Try?”
“Hmm.” She thought for a long moment, picturing Paul on the front doorstep of the beach house. He wasn’t smiling nor wearing a look of contrition or even concern. He should be doing at least one, but try as she might she couldn’t paint his face
with any of those things. Judgment and condemnation had been there far too many years. Funny. She hadn’t realized that until now. He was always…polite about it.
Molly touched her forearm. “Imagine him doing everything you told him to do.”
Admit his transgression? Break off the relationship? Call a marriage counselor?
She shook her head. “He can’t do it because he doesn’t love the spunky me. I’m changing. I’m no longer naive and pliable. No longer the kind of wife he needs. He hasn’t done a thing I’ve asked him to do in—Oh, he probably never has, not really. Not unless it was in his best interests.”
Char said, “God might whack him over the head.”
“He might.” She smiled and changed the subject. “I’m ordering the triple chocolate cake. This letting go exercise needs a little coping support at the moment.”
“I hear you.” Char nodded. “I’m having apple pie à la mode. Organic sugar has less calories, right?”
“Right.”
Jo laughed. “Okay, you talked me into it. I’ll keep you company with the raspberry cheesecake.”
“White chocolate mousse for me.” Molly raised her water glass. “One for all, and all for one!”
“Hear, hear.”
“Hear, hear.”
They clanked their glasses together and, as one, signaled the waitress.
Fifty-Eight
Char’s phone rang as she rode in the backseat of Jo’s SUV on their way to the beach house after dinner.
As when Andie’s had rung earlier in the desert garden, everyone stopped talking and waited with breaths held. They probably also did what she did: wonder why they hadn’t stuck to their agreement to leave the flaming things turned off. The bothersome fake musical notes tended to shatter peaceful environments.
She dug it from her bag and flipped it open. The ID screen lit up in the dark car. It was her husband’s cell phone number. He was using his own phone! “It’s Cam!”
A delicious tickle went through her. Thank goodness she hadn’t turned hers off. Imagine! C.P. calling her!
“Hi, sugar!”
“Hi, honey-buns!”
She giggled. “You’re using your phone.”
“Of course. I wanted to tell you that I love you.”
“Oh, Cam!”
“I even remembered you programmed your number into my cell. You’re number one. In all ways.”
She laughed. “You are such a fast learner.”
“Third in my class at dental school. Think how great I’ll be once I get going on something I like to do.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hummed an enthusiasm she didn’t feel. “How was your flight?”
“Just fine. The kids are just fine. My folks enjoyed their short stay. Guess what else is fine? Besides you, that is.”
“I have no idea!”
“That retail space on Fifth is available.”
“Oh.”
“The Realtor took me through. It’s perfect. Guess what.”
“I-I don’t know.”
He chuckled. “We’re meeting tomorrow to sign the lease!”
“Oh.” Char pressed the automatic window button and lowered it. “Well.” She stuck her face through it. The air whipped her hair at eighty miles an hour. “Oh, my. Uh, color me flabbergasted, sugar.”
“What’d you say?”
The wind must have muffled her voice. She pulled her head back inside. “I said color me flabbergasted.”
“That’s what I thought.” A grin was evident in his tone. “Listen. It is such a great deal, I couldn’t pass it up. I’ll tell you all about it when you get home. I’ll go to the bank tomorrow and apply for a business loan. There will be remodeling costs right off the bat. We can probably sign those papers on Friday. What did you do for Molly’s birthday?”
“Uh, how about I call you back in a bit? We’re in the car and I’m sure the girls don’t want to listen to me jabber away.”
In unison they whispered loudly, “Jabber away.”
She waved a hand at them. “I’ll call you, Cam.”
“Okay, honey-buns. Love you.”
“Love you too! Toodle-oo!”
Char closed up the phone and gazed through the open window. Numb.
Andie patted her arm. “Hon, do you mind if we shut the window? It’s a little cool.”
She shook her head but didn’t budge. He signed a lease? He was getting a loan?
The window went up by itself. The movement caught her attention. Jo must have used the driver’s control button.
“Oh. Sorry, ladies.”
“That’s okay,” Andie said. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Oh, my. Oh my word.” The first syllable was a sigh. The following ones disintegrated into one long drone.
“What is it?”
Where to begin? “Dear Cam. He called me honey-buns and he asked what we did and he told me he loved me. Twice. Can you imagine? All in one little old phone conversation.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“Oh.” It was the drone again. “There must be some weird real estate phenomenon in play. He’s signing a lease on a retail space tomorrow and borrowing money to open a restaurant in it!”
Her friends remained silent, obviously at a loss for words.
“Exactly.” She crossed her arms and stared out the window. “There is nothing to say.”
Fifty-Nine
Last to troop through the front door, Molly waved at Julian as he walked past the beach house. Lamplight reflected off his glasses and revealed his enigmatic smile.
“Goodnight, ladies!”
“’Night!” Molly called out, chuckling over what he must think of them, together one night and not the next. He probably chalked it up to women being women. Maybe that was why he wasn’t married.
At her elbow, Char whispered, “Our guardian angel, out on his nightly crusade to help the helpless.”
Andie smiled. “And offer hope to the hopeless.”
“Uplift the downtrodden,” Molly added as she shut the door.
“Encourage the despondent,” Andie chortled.
Char said, “Rescue damsels in distress.”
Giggles overtook the three of them.
Jo rolled her eyes. “You three probably want to invite him inside to play Trivial Pursuit.”
“Nope,” Char said. “I have to make a phone call.”
Andie walked across the room. “And I want to put on my jammies. Then I’ll find the game. I know I saw it in one of these closets.”
“Good.” Jo sprawled facedown onto the couch and moaned. “I’m not up for company. I don’t want to see another piece of cheesecake for a long time!”
Molly followed Char into the hallway, unbuttoning the waistband on her slacks. “Jammies sound good to me. Gotta make room for the popcorn.”
Char laughed. “Popcorn! We just ate. You are pregnant, girl.” She walked into her room and Molly went to hers.
She shut the door and sat on the edge of her bed. Something besides her waistband felt binding. It was probably in her spirit.
“Okay, Lord, what is it? I’m listening now. I’m done whining. For the moment, anyway. You understand that, right? I’m only human.”
Fussing had consumed a lot of energy, energy put to better use when she took her mind off herself. She slid to the floor and knelt beside the bed.
“Lord, I praise You. You alone are God and worthy of praise.” She touched her abdomen. “I don’t like this situation. It’s not what I wanted for my future. But You’re in charge. I’ll try to let You be in charge. I guess…”
She hesitated, knowing full well she still held back, her fist squeezed around a puny sense of control.
“I guess—Oh! Like You don’t know what I’m thinking. The thing is I do not want to pry my fingers apart and let go! But if I don’t, I’ll just be miserable. So I guess I’m asking You to…” She buried her face in her hands and whispered, “Change my heart. Please change my heart.”
The prayer was a familiar one. Change my heart. I don’t want to leave Chicago. I don’t want to marry a pastor. I don’t want to quit teaching. I don’t want more than two children. I don’t want to live in the Northwest. I really don’t want to live in a dinky one-horse town in the Northwest. I don’t want to admit marriage and children have not fulfilled me.
God always answered, and she always felt, in the end, that He enabled her to go with the flow, His holy flow.
But this one? This one was the hardest of all.
Sixty
Back at the beach house, Char went into her room and shut the door. What was she going to say to Cam? This was not what she had in mind! But how could she discourage him at this point? He was so open with her! So thoughtful of her!
Well, except for the part about blasting their financial security to bits.
She sat on the bed and stared at her cell phone. She thought of silly calls with Todd. She thought of that tar feeling. She thought of Jesus on the cross, covered with her gunk, and of that fresh wholesome feeling.
Maybe she should ask Molly to pray.
Molly said she could do it herself, though. Anytime, anywhere, with whatever words came to mind.
“Lord,” she whispered and closed her eyes.
Something didn’t feel quite right. She glanced about the room. What was it?
“I’m not in church. But Molly says anywhere works. I guess I could…”
Feeling rather silly, Char scooted off the bed and knelt beside it.
“Yes, that’s better. Lord, I’m new at this. I guess You know that, though. Are You listening? Molly says You are. I don’t know what to do. Imagine that! I’m at a loss for ideas. Fresh out of words for Cam. So I’m asking for Your help. Amen. Oh, thank You for Cam. Thank You for how he has changed. As I live and breathe, I never would have imagined that, either! Amen. Oh, and will You help Andie too? Paul sounds like such a nincompoop. Can I say that? Okay. Amen.”
She opened her eyes and stood. “Here goes nothing.”
The phone rang on the bed. She picked it up, saw Savannah’s cell number, and answered.
“Honey! Hi!”