44
Sofia and Aidan walked back into the office. They dumped their stuff and went straight to Brendan’s office. He waved them in as he finished a call.
“Fraud case,” he said, putting down the phone. “Could be pretty lucrative.”
That was good news because what they were charging Marcie would barely cover the utility bills for the month. It was almost pro bono.
“So?” asked Brendan. “Is a star born or what?”
“Yeah, I got the gig after we persuaded Ricky that it might not be in his best interests to take the job.”
“Aidan’s upset that he was second choice.”
“I never said that.”
“Yeah, you did. Those were pretty much your exact words.”
“Anyway, the first rehearsal is this evening. I’ll have to cancel my date.”
“Tell her you’re the newest member of the world-famous Beef Cake Boyz. I’m sure she’ll understand,” said Brendan.
Whoa. Brendan usually left Sofia to direct the sarcasm Aidan’s way. He must have been tired of Aidan’s whining too.
“Sorry, son. It’s been a long day. You want me to come down there with you? I can be outside in the car in case you need backup.”
That was more like Brendan. He might chew them out once in a while but he rarely poked fun.
“I don’t need backup to deal with this crew,” said Aidan. He seemed offended by the suggestion.
“Hey, so what they do might seem a little silly, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be violent if they know someone’s looking to put them away. You were in the LAPD. You know how unpredictable people can be. First rule of this job, don’t underestimate the enemy.”
“I’ll be careful,” said Aidan.
“Good. Now what else we got?” asked Brendan.
“The woman who was at the audition. The one we hadn’t seen before who was driving the Porsche with Jared. We have a name for her. Or, at least, an alias. The actual name she gave Aidan didn’t really tell us much. But I’ve only run a basic check.”
“Run some more. Punch it in as an alias, give an approximate age range, and see if anything pops. Also, check it against any of Stanley Kervin’s information. Or Jared’s. Maybe she’s worked a job with Stanley before. Or she’s shacking up with Jared. You said she was driving the Porsche with him riding shotgun?”
“Correct. I’ll get right on it,” said Sofia. “And I’ll go back down there with Aidan. I can sit outside and check on who’s there, who they arrive with, who they leave with, all that stuff.”
“I’d really rather fly solo on this,” said Aidan.
“Too bad. Sofia’s going with you,” said Brendan. “Now get out of my office. I have about fifty more calls to make before I can go home.”
45
Sofia sat at her desk and worked her way through all the main databases, trying to get some details on the mystery woman who’d appeared at the audition. First off she double-checked her search for Cherry Jacobs, the name the woman had given Aidan.
There were a bunch of Cherry Jacobses scattered across the country. There were even a couple in California, but one was still in college and the other was a senior. That woman had been in her forties, give or take a maximum of ten years either side.
It was likely an alias. One that hadn’t been used to open a bank account or rent an apartment, which meant it wasn’t likely to show up unless it was a known alias attached to a criminal record.
Next she tried the cell phone number the woman had used to call Aidan while they were in the car. That didn’t provide any hits. It was likely some kind of burner. That was suspicious but it didn’t get her any closer to discovering who the woman was.
Sofia went back to cross-check Cherry Jacobs with the names they did have. She started with Python, a.k.a. Jared Chadwick. That didn’t turn up anything, which was slightly weird as he had left the audition with her.
Next Sofia dug a little deeper into the information Brendan had already turned up on Stanley Kervin. Nothing there either.
She scratched through the list she’d made. Then she had an idea. It was a long shot because Jared Chadwick’s Facebook account was set to private, but it was worth a try.
Sofia quickly set up an email account and created a Facebook profile. She attached some photographs of a hot girl from a stock photo site, but used a made-up name. Then she clicked on Jared’s Facebook profile and made a friend request.
By the time she’d come back from fetching some coffee, there was a little red alert on the account showing he’d accepted her request. The pictures must have done the job, or maybe he was just bored or had clicked accept without thinking.
Either way, she now had access to his Facebook profile and, bingo, one of the first pictures she pulled up was of Jared and the mystery woman. And it was tagged with her name: Margo DeLorean.
Sofia took a sip of coffee and set back to work, running “Margo DeLorean” through the databases. Soon the office printer was working overtime in the corner of the room.
If Stanley Kervin had a pretty hefty criminal record, he had nothing on Margo. It was actually a miracle that the woman was on the streets, given how many convictions she’d had. Stanley looked like an amateur next to her.
In no particular order Margo had been arrested and convicted for theft, pandering, fraud, larceny, and aggravated robbery. Plus a bunch of other relatively minor traffic- and drug-use-related arrests, mostly for pot and other recreational substances.
Piecing it all together, it looked like Margo had worked as a hooker, become a madam, then branched out into various cons, blackmail schemes, and general fraud. Sofia hated to admit it, but if Margo had been a guy the chances were that she’d still be in prison. But she’d had some very good lawyers over the years who’d manage to plead down some of the more serious charges that had been leveled against her.
Sofia gathered together everything she had, and put it in front of Aidan. “Meet Cherry Jacobs.”
Aidan leaned back in his office chair and started to read through the pages of material. “Damn. I’m impressed. That’s what you call a career criminal. You show Brendan this?”
“Not yet.”
“I may not have to go rehearse tonight after all.”
“How’s that?” Sofia asked him.
“We take this to the cops, tell them what Marcie told us.”
Sofia’d had the same thought. Then she’d remembered something. “But Marcie won’t go to the cops. That’s why we’re working this.”
Aidan leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and massaged his temples. “I keep forgetting. Maybe we could speak with her again.”
“I can try, but the more I suggest it the more she freaks out. She’s already right on the edge. No, I think we’re going to have to settle this ourselves.”
“That’s not going to be easy,” said Aidan.
“Why not? Margo here is one more conviction away from some serious jail time.”
“That’s true. But she won’t scare easy. People like her never do. And she’ll wonder why we haven’t gone to the cops already if we know so much. It’ll be like throwing blood in the water. She’s just as likely to blow up Marcie’s marriage, especially if she finds out her husband’s a cop.”
Aidan was right. If they made any move to get someone like this to back off Marcie, it could blow up in their faces. If anything, their job had just gotten tougher. They had to get some real ammunition.
“Aidan’s right,” said Brendan, as he pored over Sofia’s discovery.
“And, believe me, I really wish I wasn’t. I want to get this wrapped up more than anyone,” Aidan said, reaching down to massage the back of his calves. “I think my blood supply got cut off wearing those shorts. I still have pins and needles in my legs.”
“So what next?” asked Sofia.
“We keep doing what we’re doing,” said Brendan. “Gathering evidence. Once we have enough, we can go face down this crew. If it’s solid enough, they�
�ll back right off. Pack up their tent and pitch it somewhere else.”
“But that means there could be more Marcies,” said Sofia, who was sure there had already been way too much tent-pitching.
“We cross that bridge when we come to it,” said Brendan, chewing the end of his pen. “Maybe there’s a way we can put them out of business without Marcie being at risk. But, first things first, let’s make sure she’s okay. She’s the client.”
46
“Okay, let’s run through it one more time, fellas. First show with the new lineup is in two days.”
Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, this time Sofia didn’t have to hide in the locker room. As well as Aidan’s pouch-cam, they had arrived early to the rehearsal space and had had time to plant a tiny video camera high up a corner of the rehearsal hall. Now Sofia could sit in the comfort of Aidan’s Porsche and watch as he ran through the routines with the rest of the Beef Cake Boyz.
Neither Stanley Kervin nor Margo, a.k.a. Cherry, had shown up. They had left it to Python to marshal the troops and put Aidan through his paces, alongside Highlander, Jumbo, and Anaconda.
Sofia was watching on the hidden camera, but Aidan was still in the locker room as Python chatted with Highlander, the guy from Pasadena, and Jumbo, the stripper with elephant ears tattooed strategically across his abdomen. Jumbo was showing them his new trick, which involved clenching and unclenching his six pack so it looked like the ears were flapping.
“Check this out,” he said to the other two.
They stood back and watched.
“That’s sick,” said Highlander.
“Off the hook, bro,” said Python.
Even watching on her cell phone Sofia had to admit it was pretty impressive.
“I was thinking maybe we could work it into that jungle routine we’ve been talking about. Music stops, spotlight hits my abs, and I flex,” said Jumbo. “Maybe have a wind machine behind me.”
“There’s no way Stan will go for that. Or Cherry. He doesn’t want to spend a dime more than he has to,” said Python.
“Yeah, cheapskate,” said Highlander.
Jumbo crossed his arms. “We should be headlining in Vegas by now if it wasn’t for that asshole.”
“I know, right,” said Highlander. “He’s only ever interested in fast money. Not about building a brand for the long term. This whole deal should be so much bigger than it is.”
“I was hoping that once Cherry came in he’d start to see all that,” said Python. “But she’s worse than he is.”
Sofia furiously scribbled the conversation down on a notepad. The video was being recorded, but she never entirely trusted the technology. It was good to have a backup record of who had said what.
This stuff was gold too. There were definitely cracks that could be exploited. It was just a shame that none of them had mentioned the blackmail yet. Sofia wondered if they were all in on it, or if it was just Python. From what Sandy, her mom’s neighbor, had said about her grandson, he didn’t sound like the kind of kid who’d be involved in that kind of criminality. Sofia hoped he wasn’t, for his sake, not to mention his grandma’s.
“So what do we think about the FNG?” Highlander asked the other two.
FNG was a military acronym that stood for “Fucking New Guy.” Did Highlander have a military background? Sofia wondered. That may be something else to check.
“He wasn’t first choice. I know that much,” said Python.
“Better not mention that in front of him,” said Jumbo. “Dudes get touchy when they’re not the number-one draft pick.”
“We only had two dudes show up for the audition this time too,” said Python.
“Yeah, what was up with that?” said Highlander.
“Beats me,” said Python.
Sofia breathed a sigh of relief. They hadn’t figured out about the signs. That was something. It would have made them super-suspicious of Aidan. Speaking of whom . . .
The door from the locker room opened and Aidan walked in with Anaconda. He was bare-chested but wearing regular shorts and a pair of sneakers. He didn’t look totally out of place, as far as Sofia could see, although that would change as soon as they started going through the routines.
He walked over and started introducing himself to the others. They used their stage names as they shook his hand. Sofia wondered what was up with that. On any TV show she’d worked on, you didn’t use your character name.
Finally, when Aidan asked the question that was in Sofia’s head, Python said, “We like to get the stage names down with a new guy first. Otherwise someone’s calling on Jared and the new guy’s trying to figure out who that is.”
Sofia figured that made sense.
“So,” said Highlander, “guess we have to find you a name too. You have any ideas?”
“Not really, man,” said Aidan. “I didn’t think I’d get this job, to be honest with you. The other guy that was here seemed way better.”
That was good, thought Sofia. Modest, which would get them onside. And he was making it clear that he didn’t understand what had gone wrong with the audition either.
“Don’t worry, bro,” said Jumbo. “We’ll get you up to speed. First show we’re only going to put you in one number, plus the opener. You can sit out the rest, and do the pictures and autographs after the show.”
“Yeah,” said Python. “Once you’ve done a few shows you can do another routine and we can build you up like that.”
There was something almost touching about this conversation, thought Sofia. She had a twinge when she thought back to how much the other cast members had helped her out when she’d started on Half Pint Detective. Most performers were pretty supportive, especially when someone was new. She just hoped that in this case it extended to letting slip a few details about the extra-curricular activities they got up to.
“Sounds good,” said Aidan, clapping his hands together.
Sofia thought Aidan might ask about the after-show stuff, but he didn’t. That was smart. A new guy coming in and asking too many questions was usually a red flag when something nefarious was going on. Not that they had all that much time to get Python and the others to incriminate themselves.
“Okay,” said Python. “Opening number. Let’s go.”
They all lined up. Aidan joined them at the end.
“No, you come in the middle and stand a little bit forward,” said Highlander. “That way we can see how you’re doing.”
“Okay,” said Aidan.
Sofia could tell he was struggling. It was no fun being the FNG, even if you were undercover.
The next hour was agonizing to watch. It was painfully obvious that Aidan wasn’t a trained dancer, and didn’t know much about choreography, or how to take direction. He lumbered his way through the opening routine a half-dozen times, tripping over his feet, and the other dancers.
A couple of times he fell in a heap with one or more of them. Fine when they had pants on. Awkward if they were onstage with their posing pouches. Not to mention embarrassing in front of a paying audience.
Then again, Sofia told herself, that was what rehearsals were for. To iron out the kinks.
“Okay, let’s take five,” said Python, at the end of the hour. “Towel off, grab some water.”
They wandered to the other end of the room while Python clapped a hand on Aidan’s shoulder. “Look, you’re new. Don’t worry. Get some water, and we’ll go again. I’ll tell Stan that we’ll use you in the opener, but that’s it.”
“You think he’ll be cool with that?” asked Aidan.
“He’ll have to be,” said Python. “Just watch that he or Cherry doesn’t try to cut your money because you’re only doing the first part.”
“They’d do that?”
“In a New York minute. Neither of them like paying out a dime they don’t have to. Hence why we’re rehearsing in this dump,” said Python.
Sofia made more notes. This was good. It looked like there was no love lost betw
een performers and management. That might be something they could use when it came to the crunch. If there really wasn’t any honor among thieves, Sofia guessed that probably went double for blackmailers.
“Okay, places, guys,” shouted Python. “Opening number again, and let’s keep the energy up if we can.”
Forty minutes later, Python announced that the rehearsal was a wrap. By this point Aidan no longer looked like a janitor who’d stumbled onstage by accident and decided to join in. He wasn’t smooth or in sync with the others, but he had the basic moves down.
One by one the others came over to high five him or shake his hand.
“Good work, bro,” said Jumbo.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” said Anaconda.
“We need to come up with a name for you, man,” said Highlander. “You have any nicknames at school? Maybe something a girlfriend used to call you? That’s how Jumbo and Anaconda decided on their stage names.”
“Stud,” offered Aidan, prompting Sofia to spray water out of her mouth all over the interior of his Porsche.
“That’s a little on the nose,” said Python.
“I think I got it,” said Jumbo. “With that body and look, you get any extra attention from the MILFs?”
“MILF” was a term Sofia hated. It stood for “Mother I’d Like To You-know-what” and was used to refer to any older woman a man found attractive. There was also “DILF” for dads, and “GILF” for grandmas or grandpas.
“I guess so,” said Aidan. “Not that it’s a market I target.”
“That’s our market, bro,” said Jumbo. “Housewives, single moms. What were you thinking, Python?”
“THC,” said Jumbo taking a step back and miming putting up three letters. “The Housewives’ Choice.”
“That’s sick,” said Highlander.
“I like it,” said Anaconda.
“Do I get a say?” asked Aidan.
“Do you hate it?” said Python.
Aidan seemed to mull it over. “THC? What about the MILF-inator?”
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