Every molecule in my body wanted me to help myself to a chocolate-and-berries treat. My stomach even rumbled as if wanting to know what was taking me so long to unwrap my first piece.
Instead of listening to my urges, though, I marched to the trash can near my dresser. My hand hovered over it, ready to dispose of the unwanted gift, but my fingers wouldn’t let go.
You need this, my conscience taunted. One piece will warm your spirits. Just one little piece.
I licked my lips and read Reed’s note again.
Chapter 23
Confessions
“But what does he mean you’re thinking about him?” Kaylee asked for what had to have been the fifth time.
We were in my room, her backpack lying on the floor where she’d dropped it when she first arrived half an hour ago. We were supposed to be catching up on missed schoolwork to free up our weekend. Instead, I sat on my bed with my legs crossed, elbows on my knees, and my forehead resting on my palms.
“I’m not thinking about him.” At least not intentionally. Every now and then, my stomach would cramp and my hands would tremble. Reed’s name would flitter through my mind. That was how I knew the withdrawals were getting the best of me.
Had Reed seen me hugging my knees close to my chest as I waited for the worst of the symptoms to pass? Was his gift out of kindness to ease the growing desire, or was he waiting for me to break and beg him to save me?
“Are you sure he isn’t here now?” Kaylee asked.
“Yes. The air’s too warm, and I can’t smell his cologne.” Only, I knew the woodsy fragrance that accompanied Reed was his natural scent. It was one of the many things that made him hard to resist.
Kaylee set the note on my dresser, picked up the small wooden box, and opened it. “You kept the candy?”
Guilty.
“Did you eat any?” she demanded.
“No.” But it wasn’t for lack of wanting to. I peered at her through my dark bangs. “The candy is the least of my problems right now.”
“The candy is how Reed managed to get in your head in the first place. It’s a huge part of your problem.”
“Is not.”
“Then you won’t mind if I burn it.” She held the box in front of her. The first indication that she’d called upon her powers was the faint aroma of lilies.
“Go ahead,” I challenged, yet my powers rocketed awake and traveled to my fingertips.
“I will.”
Kaylee squinted, just like when she’d trained to create magical fire, and I bit my lips to keep from screaming, STOP! Blue flames erupted in her palms, except now I held the wooden box clasped tight in my sweaty hands.
“Did you just save Reed’s chocolates?” Kaylee gaped at me.
“I didn’t mean to.” I tossed the box on the carpet. It opened, and tiny fuchsia and blue nuggets spilled out.
“You. Are. So. Gone,” she said as she dug her phone out of her front pocket.
I snatched it from her. “You can’t tell Josh or Isaac.”
“Why not?”
“Because they’re still upset with me about the deal I made with Caden.” I sat back down on the bed. “Isaac’s convinced Caden is going to force me to do something that’ll taint my soul. He doesn’t need the stress of knowing Reed still has a pull over me. I’m dealing with it.”
Her hand flew to her hip. “Protecting a box of faerie food is not exactly dealing with it.”
“I’ve resisted eating any.”
“Yet you can’t stand the idea of it being destroyed.”
“Please, Kaylee. Keep this between you and me.”
She sighed. After a few seconds, she took a seat next to me. “So when are you going to tell me what really happened with you and Caden?”
My shoulders slumped forward, relieved for the change in conversation. “I did. We made a deal. He saved Chase. I’m in his debt, no questions asked.”
“I know you, Madison. There’s more to the story than what you told us at the hospital. I’ve given you the week to ’fess up, but you haven’t.”
I shrugged. “I recapped. Full story ends the same way.”
“Maybe, but what I want to know is the part you neglected to tell us that has you fidgeting with your rings instead of looking at me.” She gave a pointed stare at my hands.
I bit my bottom lip. I did need to talk about that afternoon, and this was Kaylee, my oldest and most trusted friend. I told her about the original deal: my soul and only twenty more years to live for the crossroad demon to heal Chase’s wounds. How I didn’t have a soul to give. Kaylee listened in silence as I recounted every last detail of my meeting with Caden—until I covered my face with my pillow and blurted, “Ikissedhim.”
She lowered the pillow. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get that.”
“I kissed him,” I repeated before hiding my face in my hands.
“Ew!”
I peeked through my fingers.
Her mouth puckered as if she’d sucked on a lime. “Why would you kiss a demon?”
Caden wasn’t just a demon. He was a damn sexy demon. Not that that had anything to do with why I had kissed him.
“To seal the deal.”
“The kiss doesn’t count, then.”
I crushed the pillow in my lap as I spoke. “I cheated on Isaac.”
“No, you didn’t. Lip-locking with a supernatural hottie to save your little brother doesn’t count as kissing,” she sputtered, and I think she half-believed it. Then her nose scrunched up. “Besides, you didn’t enjoy it.”
Something in my expression must have said otherwise.
“Oh my God! Madison, what is with you and non-human guys?”
“Well, he’s had a lot of practice.”
Silence fell around us. What else could I say?
In a twisted way, Kaylee was right. I hadn’t kissed him because I’d wanted to. Caden had chosen how the deal would be sealed, and had I shoved him away, Chase would be dead.
“You have to tell Isaac,” Kaylee said, breaking into my reverie.
My jaw dropped. “I can’t. I’m too ashamed as it is.”
“Not about the kiss,” she quickly clarified. “Under no circumstance should you ever mention that kiss to anyone. Don’t even think about it. From this moment forward, it didn’t happen.”
I had to chuckle as I listened to her stumble over her words. “Agreed.”
She gave a That’s that nod and said, “You have to tell Isaac about Reed. He needs to know the unity spell didn’t stop your cravings for faerie treats.”
“I can’t, Kaylee. What if he decides our relationship isn’t worth this much work? Think about it,” I pressed on when she opened her mouth. “In the time we’ve known each other, he’s had to deal with vindictive classmates, our powers colliding when we try to get close, and faeries. So what do I go and do? I add demons to the mix. The last thing I want him to know is that my insides are screaming for something that is missing and that I know damn well if I would eat one of those little pieces of heaven—” I pointed to the floor where Reed’s candy still lay invitingly on the carpet “—the void consuming me would go away.” I paused. “Who in their right mind would stick around?”
She placed a hand on my arm. “Someone who cares about you, and I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because I called him.”
Chapter 24
Jonesing
The doorbell rang. A few minutes later, Isaac knocked on the wall outside my room. In my surprise at seeing him, I eyed Kaylee. I should’ve known that as long as she wore her hemp bracelet, she didn’t need a phone to call him.
Kaylee, ignoring my frown, leaned forward and whispered so that only I could hear. “Talk to him.” She got up, snagged her backpack from the floor, and patted Isaac’s shoulder as she walked by him. “Thanks for coming.”
Isaac knit his brow as he watched her stroll toward the stairs. Surveying the room next, his gaze passed over the dresser to me on the bed a
nd finally stopped on the candy scattered across the carpeting. With a wave of his hand, Reed’s gift went up in blue flames. A gasp escaped my lips, and I hated myself for it. I knew Isaac had heard it, but he didn’t comment. The flowers vanished next.
“The bouquet was from Brea,” I said lamely.
“Who’s a faerie. Stop accepting gifts from them.” There was no anger in his tone; it was more exasperation. He combed his fingers through his hair. “How about we go for a drive?”
We ended up at Annisquam Lighthouse. There were a few other cars in the lot when we parked.
“If we’re quick, we can head up before anyone sees us.” Isaac gave a slight jerk of his head to indicate the balcony where we normally hung out.
“That’s okay. I might actually jump today.”
Isaac took my hand and led the way to the large boulders that held the water at bay. We climbed up on a long flat rock and took a seat. The wind teased my hair, pulling it away from my face. Isaac dragged a key along his thigh, tracing invisible lines on his jeans.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
He’d given me plenty of opportunities to open up on my own during the drive. He had asked how I was doing, if I’d seen Brea or Reed, and even commented on how well our bracelets worked. I had opened my mouth several times, planning to let my troubles tumble out, but instead I’d only managed one-word answers: Fine. No. Great.
“I wanted it,” I mumbled. “And all I can think is it’s gone.”
The entire ride, I’d dwelled on the candy. What if Reed assumes I’m set for a couple weeks? What if he doesn’t come back? I won’t make it. It had taken me over twenty minutes and multiple attempts to say what little I had. I couldn’t bring myself to say more.
Isaac pulled me closer, wrapping his strong arms and powers around me. For the first time that day, the aching inside subsided. I leaned my cheek against his chest; the rough fabric of his wool coat scratched my skin, but I didn’t care.
“This is nice. Can we stay here forever?” I asked.
He kissed the top of my head and then rested his chin on the same spot. “You should have told me it was this bad.”
“I thought I had it under control.”
We sat like that for a while, caught up in our own thoughts.
Finally, Isaac said, “Josh and I told our parents about Reed and how he tricked you into eating the candy.”
Great, I thought. Now they’d think I was weak.
“We haven’t been able to find anything that counters the effects of faerie food, but my dad believes it’s like any other drug. You just need to get it out of your system.”
I wasn’t so sure of that. It had been several days since I’d had anything Reed offered me, and I felt worse than ever.
Isaac gave me a reassuring squeeze. “You might go through withdrawals, but your need for it will dissolve.”
“Faerie rehab?” I laughed, but I didn’t find anything funny about it. “Do they have special facilities for that?”
“No. But you have me, Kaylee, and Josh. We’ll help you through it. And my parents have given me the okay to let you stay over. Between my intention ward and all the iron in my room, Reed won’t be able to go down there.”
“My dad’s not going to let me spend the night at your house.”
He shifted so that he could see my face. “Are you underestimating my powers?”
“I guess I am.” I closed my eyes and listened to the water slap the boulders. Occasionally, a fine mist would dust our clothes and hair. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble.”
“You’re worth it.”
“Ha!” I huffed into his jacket.
“Madison, look at me.”
I did.
“I’m not going to run away from a little unexpected trouble,” he said, though “a little” didn’t really describe how much trouble a relationship with me had caused him. “Have I told you lately how much I like you?”
I shook my head.
“A lot. Borderline-crazy lot. So much that I actually told my parents the truth, hoping they’d be able to help. You’ll see. A night or two away from Reed and his faerie mojo, and you’ll be back to your old self.”
It was worth a try, and being near Isaac did ease the cravings. If I could just stay wrapped in his powers’ protective cocoon for the rest of my life, I’d be fine.
He pulled me to my feet. “Come on. Let’s talk to Kaylee about your alibi, and then you’ll tell your dad you’re going to sleep at her house. We’ll get you through the night and decide what to do in the morning.”
The setting sun cast the world in a hue of pinks and purples. As we walked around the exterior of the lighthouse, it hit me that Isaac and I would be alone the entire night. My stomach did a nervous flip then a flop before twisting into a bundle of elated anxiety.
“You sure you aren’t just trying to get in my pants?” I joked, but I was already trying to figure out what one wears to a detox session in her boyfriend’s dungeon-like bedroom.
“Can you blame me? You’re smokin’ hot.” He shot me one of his crooked smiles as he waggled his brows.
“That smoke you smell is me frying your brains every time we kiss longer than twenty-three seconds.”
He shrugged. “No relationship is perfect, and I think we’re up to twenty-nine seconds now.”
There were two cars in the parking lot when we got back there: Isaac’s dark green Jeep and a familiar black Subaru. As we drew closer, we saw Caden leaning against the back bumper of the Jeep.
Isaac wrapped an arm protectively around my waist. “Get lost,” he snarled once we were close enough to be heard without screaming.
Caden held his hands out in a friendly gesture. “What, no hello?”
“I know what you are.”
Caden took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and held it out to us. When we shook our heads, he tapped one out and brought it to his mouth. He inhaled and the tip glowed red, no lighter needed. He then blew the smoke out of the corner of his mouth and said, “I figured she’d tell you. That doesn’t mean we can’t be civil.”
“I don’t associate with demons,” Isaac replied.
“Not a problem. I’m here to talk to Madison.” Caden stepped toward me, but Isaac put himself between us. “I’m not your enemy, yet,” Caden said.
“Isaac, it’s okay.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and stepped next to him. “If he was going to hurt us, he’d have done it already.” To Caden, I asked, “Are you following me?”
“You’re under contract. No following needed, which leads me to why I’m here.”
Isaac’s arms went rigid at his sides, and the scent of vanilla and spearmint burst from his pores. I laced my fingers though his and squeezed, hoping he wouldn’t do anything stupid like attack the demon who had the power to put Chase right back on Death’s doorstep.
“You don’t look well,” Caden observed.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
He flicked his cigarette into the grass and stepped closer, eyes locked on Isaac’s. “Move one muscle to attack me, and I’ll roast you alive.” Caden cupped my chin in his hand, tilting my head up as he examined my eyes. “You’re jonesing.” He placed a hand on Isaac’s chest in a way that reiterated Stand still, and then leaned forward and breathed in. After a few seconds, Caden stepped back, removing his hand from Isaac as he did.
“You’re the one who invited that faerie into this world,” Caden accused.
“I did not!” I’d invited Brea as far as I was concerned. Reed had come along for the ride.
Caden’s dark eyes met mine. “Let me rephrase that. Did you summon Reed?”
“Yes,” I replied honestly. “But I didn’t know who I was summoning or that two of them would show up.”
“His sister’s also here? No wonder you reek of Fae.” He paced away from me as he continued to ramble. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice it the other day when we—” He massaged his temple.
I prayed he wouldn’t
say “kissed.” Isaac gave me a sidelong glance, and I shrugged as if I had no idea what Caden was thinking. Caden continued to pace. Each time he turned around to walk back the other way, he glanced at us.
The last thing I needed was for Caden to provide Isaac with the missing pieces of my deal. I bumped Isaac’s shoulder with mine and jerked my head toward the Jeep. He nodded. We made it a few steps when fire erupted from the ground in front of us. Caden walked over casually. The fire subsided.
“Let me see if I guess correctly,” he said. “You weren’t aware you’d invited Reed into this world, but once you found out what he was, you bound your soul to Isaac to keep Reed from feeding on your aura.”
Since I took that as a direct question and had promised not to lie, I uttered a yes. Caden laughed and slapped his hand on his thigh. I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, not sure if I should be thanking God or Satan that Caden hadn’t mentioned our kiss.
“Damn, I wish I could have seen Reed’s face when he found out.” Caden shook his head and smiled. “When I saw him stalking you at the party, I warned him not to mess with a witch.”
“You knew he was there?” I asked. “Thanks for the warning.”
“The fact you didn’t seem to know is why I never suspected you’d summoned him in the first place. But if I had told you about Reed and what he is before you’d discovered him yourself, he’d have told you what I am. We had a mutual agreement. He keeps my secret; I keep his.”
I shifted, ready to take a step forward and connect my knuckles with his cheekbone, but Isaac tightened his grip on my hand and sent a small amount of power through me, reminding me it had been my idea to play nice with the demon that held my contract.
“I don’t remember seeing Reed there,” I said instead.
“You felt his presence, though,” Caden replied. “Whatever he whispered in your ear gave you the chills. Don’t you remember? You’d just finished talking to me.”
The cold chill that had wormed its way up my jacket that night must have been Reed. And it wasn’t a far stretch to believe he’d been at the party, seeing as Natalie had disappeared that night. I wondered if Reed had been her secret admirer all along or if he’d first caught her scent that night. Either way, it was still my fault she was gone.
Hold Tight (The Embrace Series) Page 19