Cigarette butts were the least of the problems.
“Hey, Joelle?” I cleared my throat and spoke over Zach’s sobs. “Ronnie mentioned that you might have some connections in the movie industry?”
She laughed. “Did she?”
“Yeah. The thing is, I’ve always been kind of interested in getting into making movies. That was part of the reason I wanted to come here, actually.”
She handed me a jar of spaghetti sauce. “Can you open this for me?”
I put Zach, who was still crying, down on the floor, twisted the lid off and handed it back to her. “I mean, animation is what I’m really into, but anything would be great, just to get a foot in the door, you know?”
She put the jar down and turned to look at me. “Ronnie didn’t tell you what kind of movies I was in, did she?”
“No.”
“Right.” She sighed. “Theo, you’re a sweet guy. And you’re a good-looking kid...but you don’t want to take advantage of any connections I have, okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Trust me,” she said.
It took me a few seconds, and then I felt my cheeks heating up. “Do you mean...the movies you acted in... were they...?” I didn’t want to say “porn,” but I couldn’t think of a more appropriate word.
“Adult movies,” she said. “Skin flicks. Not hard-core, but you know, X-rated.”
“Right.” I didn’t know where to look.
She laughed. “Awww. You’re such an innocent.”
If my face hadn’t been bright red a minute ago, it certainly was now. I picked Zach back up and bounced him up and down a few times just to give myself an excuse not to look at Joelle. His sobs subsided, and he put his head down on my shoulder, like he was sleepy. “Gotcha,” I said. “Well, cool.”
“This city is a crazy place, Theo. Everyone just sees the bright lights and the glamor, but underneath all that, there’s a lot of broken hearts. People come here with big dreams...” She trailed off and shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad, but I kind of wish I hadn’t done it, you know?”
I nodded, feeling like I knew absolutely nothing about anything. “Um, yeah.”
“You planning on sticking around LA?”
“I don’t know.” Zach tugged on the collar of my T-shirt. I put him down on the kitchen floor and found him a set of measuring spoons to play with. “Ronnie seems like she needs a bit of help, you know?”
Joelle shook her head. “What else is new?”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “I love that girl, but she just goes from crisis to crisis, doesn’t she?”
“Does she?” I grabbed the strap of Zach’s overalls as he started to scoot off into the living room, presumably to chow down on some more cigarette butts. “Can’t his dad help out at all? I mean, she should at least get child support, right?”
Joelle raised her hands. “I’m staying out of it.”
“But if he’s a cop, he must earn a decent salary. Even if he’s a jerk, he’s got to help out financially.”
She laughed. “A cop? Where’d you get that idea? Max isn’t a cop—he’s a teacher. High school, I think.”
I stared at her. “What?”
“He wasn’t her teacher, don’t worry. Though he is too old for her. Like, almost ten years older than she is.” She made a face. “When they got together, she was nineteen and he was twenty-eight, which is kind of pervy, if you ask me. Not that Max was pervy. He was a great guy. Gentle, you know?”
I shook my head. “Ronnie said he was a cop.”
Joelle pulled the saucepan off the burner. “I have to get going, okay? The spaghetti sauce is there, dishes in the cupboard.” She ruffled Zach’s hair. “See you tomorrow, little guy.”
“Are you sure he’s not a cop?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” She slipped one foot into a strappy shoe with an ultrahigh heel. “Where the hell’s my other shoe? God, this place is a mess...Oh, there it is. Bye, Theo.”
“Bye.” I waved and watched her walk out the door. Then I caught a whiff of something that definitely wasn’t dinner. “Zach? Did you...? Ugh. You did, didn’t you?” I picked him up and held him well out in front of me. “Uh, Ronnie? Where are you? I kind of need you out here.”
“Coming, coming!” Ronnie stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a pink towel, her hair still dripping.
“I think he just took a dump.”
She sighed. “Can’t you just change his diaper? There should be a couple of clean ones in the blue bag.”
I stood there, frozen, my arms still held stiffly out, zombie style, with Zach starting to squirm between them.
“Oh my god, Theo, it’s just poo.” Apparently she noticed my expression, because she broke off. “Fine. I’ll do it.” She took him from me, forehead creased in annoyance. “You’d think it was nuclear waste from the look on your face.”
“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. “I don’t have much experience with, you know, diapers.”
She snorted. “Can you at least grab me my bag?”
“Sure,” I said, relieved. “And dinner’s ready when you are.”
Chapter Nine
Half an hour later, the three of us were sitting at the tiny kitchen table. Ronnie had blow-dried her hair and piled it on top of her head in some kind of fancylooking twist. She was wearing tight jeans and a strapless red top, and she looked stunning. I had poured glasses of wine from a bottle on the counter and dished up plates of spaghetti for everyone. We looked like a regular family, except that Zach was falling asleep and Ronnie was tense, drinking the wine like it was apple juice and biting my head off every time I tried to talk to her.
I got the meal off to a bad start by asking her about Max. “Joelle said he’s a teacher,” I began.
“Yeah, he is. So?”
“You told me he was a cop.”
She froze for a split second, her eyes wide. Somehow she managed to look both guilty and innocent—like a puppy that just got caught chewing a sneaker. “I did?”
“Yeah. You did. When we got pulled over, remember?” My heart was beating faster than usual. Had she actually lied to me?
“Oh yeah.” She didn’t even blush. “I just thought he might have cops looking for me, that’s all.”
It seemed like a weird thing to lie about. “So why not just say that?”
“I don’t know, Theo. Jeez. I was just freaked out. Like I said, I don’t want him to find me.”
Joelle had said he was a nice guy. This didn’t fit with my theory that he was a crazy stalker, but then again, you never really knew anything about a relationship from the outside. “Why are you scared of him?” I asked.
She scowled at me and twirled spaghetti around her fork. “Can we talk about something else, please?”
“Right.” I took a sip of the wine and made a face. It tasted like vinegar. “I was thinking, you should get child support, right? I mean, he’s still responsible—”
She cut me off. “I said drop it, Theo.”
I couldn’t though. “It’s just...neither of us has much money. How are you going to manage? I mean, you can’t really work with Zach to look after, and this place—well, staying here isn’t really a long-term solution, is it?”
Ronnie put her fork down. She sat there, not moving, and just stared at me for a long moment. Then she stood, picked up Zach and carried him into the living room.
I followed her. “Ronnie. Come on. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. I just think we have to deal with this. You can’t keep running away from problems, you know? We have to figure out what to do.”
She lowered Zach into his stroller, reclined the seat and snapped the seat belt closed. “I’m going out,” she said. “I need a break, okay?”
“What?” She was making me crazy. “No, Ronnie, it’s not okay. We have to talk.”
“Not now.”
“Yes, now. Why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?” I tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t look at me. I rea
ched out and touched her bare shoulder. Her skin was silk-smooth and warm. “I’m on your side here. I want to help. You know that.”
“Then watch Zach for me for a bit, would you? I just need to get out on my own for a couple hours.” She pulled a blanket over Zach’s lap. “He’ll be fine. He probably won’t even wake up until the morning.”
“I guess, but...”
“Thanks, Theo.” She turned and kissed me, right on the lips. Her mouth tasted like wine and strawberry lip gloss. It could have been just a casual, friendly kiss—except that it wasn’t. Ronnie pulled back, staring at me. Her eyes were wide and dark, the pupils dilated and swallowing up the blue.
I felt like I’d just been hit by lightning. “Um, wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Sorry. I, uh...” Ronnie’s cheeks were flushed.
“Shhh.” I slid my hand under her hair, into that soft, warm hidden place on the back of the neck, and I tilted her face up toward mine. Her lips parted and my mouth was on hers, my fingers tangling in her hair, and I was kissing her with an intensity that took my breath away. Ronnie’s hands were gripping my shoulders, her body pressed against mine. My fingers traced the soft skin of her back between the low-rise jeans and the tank top. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe I was kissing Ronnie Gleeson.
And then she broke away. “Wow. Okay. Um, I’ll see you later, Theo.” She grabbed her purse from the couch. “Bye.”
“Ronnie...” But she was already out the front door. I watched her walk away and then collapsed into the closest chair.
She was infuriating. I remembered one of my favorite Han Solo lines— Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I was all jangled heartbeat and electric nerve endings. And underneath that, I was dead tired. I watched Zach sleeping in his stroller for a minute, his lashes dark against his cheeks, his little mouth slightly open.
I knew I had to call my parents. I’d been putting it off all day, but it wasn’t fair to leave them worrying. I finally found Joelle’s phone, half-buried in a pile of dirty laundry, and collect-called my brother’s place.
“Darrell?”
“Theo!” He dropped his voice a notch. “Mom and Dad are not happy campers, pal. You are in deep, deep doo-doo.”
Doo-doo? I rolled my eyes. “Right, yeah. I figured they’d be pissed.”
“What were you thinking? Mom said you took off with Ronnie Gleeson. She’s Tom Gleeson’s little sister, isn’t she? I went to school with him.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I’d forgotten that she even had a brother. “She’s twenty-two now though. She has a kid.”
“I heard.” He lowered his voice even further, and I wondered where Mom and Dad were. “Did you guys hook up?”
Hook up. It sounded funny, coming from Darrell. “No,” I said. “Well, not really.”
He laughed. “You did, didn’t you?”
“It’s not like that.” I hesitated.
“Why’d you take off so fast?”
“I don’t know. Mom and Dad were on my case about drugs like you wouldn’t believe. Searching my room, sniffing my breath, giving me lecture after lecture. I’d had enough, I guess.”
“They told me about your buddy Koli.” He cleared his throat. “So, you weren’t involved?”
“No. God, don’t you start.”
“Don’t panic. I believe you.”
“Good.”
There was a pause, then Darrell said, “They just worry, you know. It was the same for me. Worse, I bet.”
I snorted. “Get serious. They’re always going on about how you never caused them this kind of stress, you never had an attitude like mine, you never—”
He cut me off. “Then they’d better get checked out for early-onset Alzheimer’s, pal. I know you were just a kid when I moved out, but that sure isn’t how I remember it.”
“Come on. You were a straight A student, valedictorian, early college entrance, all that stuff. I hear about it all the time.”
“Yeah.” He gave a short laugh. “I worked my tail off trying to make them happy, and they were convinced that disaster was just around the corner the whole time. Drinking and driving—that was their big obsession with me. It’s how they are, Theo.”
“Seriously?” I wasn’t sure I believed him.
“For what it’s worth, I told them to lighten up on you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He was quiet for a moment. “Look, I’m not saying you did the right thing, taking off like this. I mean, it was pretty inconsiderate. But it’s not really like you to do something like that. Maybe you needed to, you know, break away a little.”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Anyway”—Darrell suddenly sounded businesslike—“I suppose you want to talk to our parents. Dad just walked in. I’ll put him on.”
“Okay. Thanks, Darrell.”
My dad’s voice came on the line. “Theo? Where are you?”
“Los Angeles.”
“With Ronnie Gleeson.” He sounded furious. “We used to pay her to babysit you, you know. And now she pulls a stunt like this. Unbelievable.”
“It’s not her fault,” I said. “I told her I had your permission. I’m sorry though. I didn’t mean to make you guys worry. I just, I didn’t really think it through.”
“Well, that much is clear.”
I felt a wave of the same old frustration. Why couldn’t he ever meet me halfway? “Look,” I said. “I’m tired of you guys not trusting me.”
“This behavior hardly seems likely to help with that.”
“I know, I know. I already said sorry.” I watched Zach sleeping and tried to calm down. “It’s the drug thing. I don’t deal drugs. I don’t even use drugs.”
“Koli—”
“Is my best friend. Does he have a problem? Yes, okay, he does. But I’m not going to just turn my back on him, Dad.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, all right, Theo. I heard you.” He muttered something I couldn’t hear, and I could make out my mother’s voice in the background. Then Dad spoke again. “We want you to take a bus to Santa Rosa tonight, Theo. I’ll check the schedule right now.”
“I can’t,” I said. “Ronnie’s out and I’m watching her son.”
“You’re babysitting?”
“I guess you could call it that.”
Dad said something that sounded a lot like “harrumph.” I guess it was sort of funny, in a way—me babysitting my babysitter’s kid.
“In the morning then,” he said.
I hesitated. I didn’t want to leave Ronnie, but I had a life back home. School, family, friends. Ronnie’s promises about connections in the movie industry hadn’t exactly led anywhere. And Ronnie herself—well, she might need help, but she wouldn’t even talk to me about her problems.
I could still feel her kiss burning on my lips. That kiss might have kept me here, if I hadn’t suspected that she’d just done it to get me to say I’d look after Zach.
You can’t keep running away from your problems, I’d told her. Maybe I should take my own advice. “Okay,” I said at last. “In the morning.”
I hung up, watched TV for a couple of hours and curled up in the chair to sleep. When I woke up, pale morning light was creeping through the high windows, and Zach was starting to stir and whimper in his stroller.
And Ronnie was nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Ten
I lifted Zach out of his stroller. “Shhh, shhh,” I whispered. “We don’t want to wake Joelle.” “Dada,” Zach said, snuffling a bit. “Dada.”
“Um, nope, just me. Not your Dada,” I said. Then I realized he was pushing me away and looking around the room. “Your dad’s not here, Zach.” And neither is your mom, I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud. Instead I tiptoed across the living room, shushing Zach, and pushed open the door to Joelle’s bedroom.
No one there. J
ust a heap of blue sheets on the bed and a mess of clothes everywhere.
So it was just me and Zach. What the hell was up with that? But there was no time to think about it, because Zach was fussing and squirming to be put down. “I guess you need some breakfast,” I said to him. “And I need some coffee. Very. Strong. Coffee. Lots of it. Come on, buddy.”
I sat Zach down on the kitchen counter and opened a few cupboards.
“Hey look, buddy—instant coffee. And Rice Krispies! You like those?”
He didn’t look thrilled.
“Or look—there’s milk in the fridge. You want some milk?” I poured him a glass and switched on the kettle. Ronnie must be out with Joelle somewhere, but it was pretty uncool of her. Surely she knew her kid would wake up and want her. I watched Zach drink his milk and pushed back my anger. She was totally taking advantage of me, but worse than that was how unfair she was being to Zach. The poor kid barely knew me.
I wiped the milk that was dribbling down his chin. “How about some music, buddy? Let’s see if Joelle’s got any good tunes.” A few minutes later, Zach was happily sitting and listening to some techno-pop and pulling all the Kleenex out of a box he’d found on the living-room floor. He looked a little bulky around the bum, and I had a feeling he needed a diaper change.
To my relief, the front door opened. I jumped to my feet. “Hey! I’m so glad you’re back. I was worried that something had happened.”
Joelle stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “I worked until two and then some of the girls invited me out with them.” She saw the look on my face. “What’s wrong? Where’s Ronnie?”
“She’s not with you?” My heart sank. Actually, sank is too gentle a word. My heart plummeted like an elevator with a snapped cable.
“No. I haven’t seen her since I left for work last night.”
I flopped into the armchair and rubbed my hands over my face, suddenly feeling completely exhausted. “I have no clue where she is, Joelle. She took off last night. Said she needed a break for a couple of hours.”
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