Ivy dropped her hand, retracted her wings, and sank to her knees in exhaustion while Gabriel knelt beside the body on the floor. Free at last from the poisonous creature that had been holding her hostage, Sister Mary Clare looked very different. The vicious expression was replaced by one of liberation, despite the pain she must have been in. Her face was still bruised and battered, but as her eyelids fluttered open I caught sight of a pair of pale blue eyes. The young woman seemed to sigh in relief and her head lolled to one side. Gabriel looked concerned and bent low over her, his fingers pressed lightly against her neck, searching for a pulse.
He looked up at Ivy. “It’s not good.”
My sister floated across to join him and together they began to work on Sister Mary Clare. Gabriel seemed to be healing the physical wounds while Ivy went deeper, trying to reach Mary Clare’s soul and restore it to health and to God. I couldn’t imagine the state her soul must be in after sharing a body with a demon for months. It would be shredded almost beyond recognition, but if anyone could help her, it was a seraphim. I watched as Gabriel touched her cheeks and the bruising and swelling began to subside. His fingers traced across her lips and they were whole once again. Sister Faith hurried to bring a wet cloth and gingerly wiped away the dried blood that caked her lips and chin. When Gabriel moved his hands, I saw that Sister Mary Clare’s teeth had been restored as well. My brother had left her with no physical reminder of the torment she’d endured. Although her body was returned to full health, her chest was still. Ivy remained hunched over her, eyes tightly shut. My sister’s body trembled with the effort and Gabriel put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. Bringing a soul back from the brink of death was tiring work even for an angel as strong as Ivy and I could see that Sister Mary Clare was almost beyond help. A soul, once taken by Death, was almost impossible to get back. The soul belonged to him until it was claimed by either Heaven or Hell. If no one wanted it, it was tossed into Limbo like garbage.
I knew Ivy had to travel down the tunnel of Sister Mary Clare’s subconscious and coax her back before she slipped away forever. I imagined her mind was like a mess of crawling vermin, contaminated by the evil that had inhabited her body for so long. Death was close, anybody could see that. She was probably teetering on the edge, unwilling to return to life lest it be full of the agony she remembered. The tunnel of death sucks the life out of you, it wants you to give in. It wants you to surrender. Of course, the darkness could never touch my sister, but it could still deplete her strength and being inside Sister Mary Clare’s infected mind was bound to take its toll.
Eventually, after what seemed like forever, Ivy released the nun’s hand and watched as her eyes blinked and then opened. She immediately took a deep, gasping breath like someone who had been held underwater too long.
“Oh praise the Lord!” Sister Faith cried. “Thank you, bless you.” She seized Mary Clare in a tight hug as the bewildered woman sat up and looked around in confusion. I saw her properly then and realized just how young she was — no more than early twenties with a clear face and a sprinkling of freckles across her nose.
“What … what happened?” she stammered. Her hand reached up to touch her knotted hair, which was caked with blood. Sister Faith’s mouth fell open.
“She doesn’t remember?”
“She’s in shock,” replied Gabriel. “Over the next few days it will come back to her through flashes and nightmares. She will need your support.”
“Of course.” Sister Faith nodded frantically. “Whatever she needs.”
“Right now she needs a shower,” my brother said. “And then you should get her into bed.” He looked around the trashed room. “Is there somewhere she can stay while this mess gets cleaned up?”
“Yes, yes,” Sister Faith was muttering to herself. “I’ll have Adele set up a bed.” She looked at Gabriel and Ivy. “I don’t know how to thank you,” she said, her eyes welling up again. “I thought we had lost her forever, but you have given us our sister back and reaffirmed our faith like I never expected in this lifetime. You have our unending gratitude.”
Gabriel only smiled. “It was our pleasure,” he said simply. “Now take care of your sister. We will see ourselves out.”
Sister Faith gave my siblings one final look of rapture and then hurried the frail Mary Clare out of the room. I heard her calling through the house to the others. I wondered if they would believe the story of the mysterious visitors and the heavenly retribution they’d delivered.
When they were gone, Ivy, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, let out a soft sigh and seemed to sway for a moment on her feet.
“Easy there,” Xavier said, taking a step toward her. “Are you okay?”
With a resounding swish Gabriel’s wings retracted, folding behind his muscular back. He wrapped a strong arm around Ivy’s waist to support her and she leaned against his shoulder, regathering her strength.
A moment later her wings also retracted, but I could see the effort it cost her. She took a deep breath and gave Xavier a faint smile.
“I’m just drained,” she said. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”
Gabriel began to usher the little party toward the door. “Come,” he said. “Our business here is finished, we should leave.”
Outside on the porch, Gabriel caught sight of Molly. Clearly, the full impact of what she’d witnessed had just hit her. She clutched the porch post, her hands shaking. She looked as if she could hardly support her own weight and took one wobbly step forward, stretching out her hands to regain her balance. Gabriel slipped an arm around her waist to help her down the steps, and when they reached the bottom, he wordlessly sank down beside her as she knelt on the ground and threw up into the flower beds. One hand still on her shoulder, he gently lifted her hair away from her face and held it back — not speaking, just patiently waiting for her to finish.
27
He Loves Me Not
IT was the early hours of the morning by the time the four of them made it back to the Easy Stay Inn. Although some color had returned to Molly’s face, she seemed overcome with exhaustion. Xavier looked equally worn-out and badly in need of sleep. Only my siblings remained as composed and pokerfaced as always. The only indication of the stress they’d just undergone was their rumpled clothing. Ivy’s strength seemed to have replenished by the time they got back, but I knew it had been a tough night for her. It must be frustrating, I thought. Her strength and power in the Kingdom was boundless. But from what I could see, the longer angels lingered on earth and mingled with humanity, the more finite their powers seemed to become.
At the first opportunity, Xavier disappeared to his room without saying a word to anyone. I wanted to follow him so we could be alone for a while. I imagined myself lying down beside him on the bed and pressing my head against his chest the way I used to do. I wanted to focus every shred of energy on letting him know I was there; to offer him what little comfort I could and let his presence comfort me. But Ivy and Gabriel were the ones planning the next move and I needed to stay put if I wanted to be kept in the loop.
“What’s with him?” Molly muttered as soon as Xavier shut the door behind him.
“I imagine he’s disturbed by tonight’s events,” Ivy said drily as she fitted her key into the lock. “He needs some time to process it.” I knew Molly’s naïveté irritated her sometimes.
For some reason, Molly was still purposelessly hovering beside my siblings. They both had the good grace not to ask what she wanted. Maybe she wanted out of the whole rescue mission. Maybe she’d taken on more than she bargained for and was ready to go home.
The bedroom door was painted a murky maroon color. With a heavy sigh Gabriel pushed it open and flicked the switches on the wall. The room was filled with a harsh amber light and the rattle of a defective overhead fan. The twin beds were covered in thin floral duvets with matching bedside tables and fringed nightshades. The carpet was a faded salmon color and curtains on a metal rod covered a single rectangular windo
w.
“It has a certain charm,” Ivy said with an ironic smile. Although my siblings had grown used to the luxury of Byron, their surroundings were immaterial to them. They could’ve been in a luxury suite at the Waldorf Astoria for all the difference it made.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Ivy said, scooping up a bag of toiletries and disappearing into the bathroom. Molly watched her go, biting her lip and shifting anxiously from foot to foot. Gabriel’s penetrating eyes watched her patiently. They reminded me of a snowstorm — clear and pale and so full of depth that you could easily lose yourself in them. He removed his jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. The tight white T-shirt he wore accentuated his impossibly perfect physique. Molly couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from his rippling body and the way the fabric strained across his defined chest. He looked superhuman, as if he could shoulder a car with minimal effort. That was probably because he could if the situation called for it.
The sound of water running through the old pipes filtered out from the bathroom and Molly immediately seized it as an opportunity to strike up a discussion.
“So, will Ivy be okay?” she asked awkwardly. It was clear she wasn’t there to talk about Ivy, but a more effective opening eluded her.
“Ivy is a seraphim,” Gabriel replied as if that settled the matter.
“Yeah,” Molly said. “I remember. And that’s pretty cool, right?”
“Yes,” said Gabriel slowly. “It is cool.”
Taking this as encouragement, Molly edged her way into the room and perched on the bed, pretending to examine her fingernails. Gabriel leaned against the doorway opposite her. If he’d been human he would have looked awkward or uncomfortable, but he was composed in every way. No matter what environment he found himself in, my brother always gave off an air of self-possession, as if he’d been there all his life. He stood with his hands folded behind his back and his head tilted slightly to one side as if he were listening to a silent internal melody. His attention seemed far from Molly, although I knew he was waiting for her to speak. He could probably hear her heart thumping in her chest, smell the sweat on the palms of her hands — even read her mind if he wanted to.
Molly raised her eyes nervously. “You were amazing today,” she said. Gabriel looked at her, perplexed by the compliment.
“I was doing my job,” he replied in his low, compelling voice.
I could tell by the expression on Molly’s face that his voice affected her in ways I couldn’t understand. It seemed like each word he spoke entered her body on a physical level. Molly shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Are you cold?” my brother asked. Without waiting for her answer he chivalrously lifted his jacket from the back of the chair and draped it around her shoulders. The thoughtful gesture seemed to move Molly to such an extent that she struggled to keep her eyes from misting up.
“No, really,” she insisted. “I always knew you were amazing, but today was different. You were like something out of this world.”
“That’s because I’m not from this world, Molly,” Gabriel replied evenly.
“But you’re still connected to it, right?” Molly pressed. “To people, I mean. Like Xavier and me?”
“My job is to protect people like you and Xavier. I wish you only health and happiness …”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Molly cut in.
“What are you saying?” He looked at her with the piercing intensity of someone determined to understand a way of reasoning that was not his own.
“It’s just that I think you could want more. These last few days I’ve been sensing that like … maybe … you might have felt …”
I sprang onto the bed and knelt beside Molly. I tried to send out a message of caution, but she was too absorbed in Gabriel’s presence to notice I was there with her.
No, Molly, don’t do it. You’re smarter than this. Think about it. Gabriel isn’t what you want him to be. You’re about to make a huge mistake. You only think you know him. You’ve imagined there’s more to it than there really is. If you’re hurting now, this will only make things worse. Go and talk to Xavier first. Wait a while — you’re tired. Molly, listen to me!
Gabriel turned his head slowly to look at her. The movement was almost robotic. His face was cast in shadow from the dim motel light, but his hair still glowed as it fell gently around his cheekbones like strands of gold and his eyes were a forever-shifting haze of silver and ice blue.
“Maybe I felt what?” he asked curiously.
Molly sighed in exasperation and I knew she’d had enough of dropping hints. She stood up so she was standing directly in front of him. With her mermaid tumble of curls, wide blue eyes, and dewy skin she looked as enticing as ever. Most men would not have had the willpower to resist her.
“You act like you don’t have feelings, but I know you do!” she said confidently. “I think you feel a lot more than you let on. I think you could love someone, even fall in love with someone if you chose to.”
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Molly. I value human life,” Gabriel said. “I wish to defend and protect My Father’s children. But the love you speak of … I know nothing of that.”
“Stop lying to yourself. I can see through you.”
“And what exactly do you think you see?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow and I realized he had an inkling of where the conversation was headed.
“Someone’s who’s just like me,” Molly cried. “Someone who wants to be in love but is too scared to let it happen. You care about me, Gabriel — admit it!”
“I’ve never denied caring for you,” Gabriel said gently. “Your well-being is important to me.”
“It’s more than that,” Molly insisted. “It has to be! I feel something incredible between us and I know you must feel it too.”
Gabriel leaned forward. “Listen to me carefully,” he said. “You have somehow gotten the wrong idea about me. I’m not here to …”
Before Gabriel could finish, Molly leapt forward and closed the distance between them. I saw her arms reach around his waist and her fingers close over his T-shirt. I saw her stand on the tips of her toes and strain up toward him. I saw her eyes close in a moment of pure ecstasy as their lips met. She kissed him fervently, longingly, intoxicated by him. Her body ached for his touch and she pressed herself against him. She trembled with the intensity of it, her whole body straining to get closer to him. The room became charged with a strange energy, and for a moment I thought something would ignite between them that would blast through the walls of the motel room. Then I saw Gabriel’s face.
While he hadn’t moved away from Molly, he wasn’t returning her kiss. His arms remained rigidly by his sides, his mouth unresponsive, refusing to meld with hers. Molly might have been kissing a waxwork for all the response she drew from him. Gabriel let her continue for a moment before gently disengaging himself from her grasp. She fought him for a second then staggered back and sank down on the bed.
“No, Molly. This can’t happen.”
Gabriel only looked saddened by her display of affection. He wore a thoughtful frown, looking at Molly the same way he looked at all mortal dilemmas he needed to solve. He’d worn the same expression when they’d stopped to talk to Earl at the gas station and again when he’d inspected the grooves on the front porch of the Abbey. His clear eyes were serious as he grappled for a solution to a problem he had not before encountered. A strange look crossed Molly’s face as his indifference finally dawned on her. Her forehead creased as she tried to make sense of the overpowering attraction she felt that seemed to be strictly one-way. I could tell she couldn’t quite believe it and I noted the exact moment when humiliation replaced her passion. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she squirmed under Gabriel’s inquisitive gaze.
“I can’t believe I got it so wrong,” she murmured. “I never do that.”
“I’m sorry, Molly,” Gabriel said. “I apologize if I’ve said or done anything to misl
ead you.”
“Don’t you feel anything?” she asked more angrily. “You must feel something!”
“I do not possess human sentiment,” Gabriel said and then thought to add, “nor does Ivy.” Maybe he hoped it’d make Molly feel better to know that her advances would be lost on my sister as well. If so, it didn’t have the desired effect.
“Quit acting like you’re a robot or something,” she snapped.
“If that’s how you’d prefer to think of me …” Gabriel trailed off.
“It’s not!” Molly burst out. “I’d prefer to think of you as real, not some tin man who doesn’t have a heart.”
“My heart is nothing but a vital organ pumping blood around this body,” Gabriel explained. “I lack the capacity to give the love you speak of.”
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