I’d had My-Me call us all in sick that day—except for me, obviously. I just had to sneak out. My dad had finally talked to me. He stopped by that morning to say that they’d be home periodically to make sure I wasn’t burning the place down or torturing any small animals. I was a little hurt by the comments, but it was hard to blame him for having that attitude. After all, when he came by to check on me later, I wouldn’t be there. Instead I’d be out causing more trouble. I was just starting to fully realize the consequences of the life I’d chosen. Running a business like mine had come with so much more baggage than it’d seemed like at first. Only now when it was too late did I fully get that.
Anyways, it wouldn’t look suspicious for the rest of them all to be absent at the same time since none of them were really friends in school. We were all business partners, for the most part, but not much else. That said, the lines had become blurred over the years, I had to admit. Even the ruthless Great White was really growing on me.
“Well?” Vince repeated. “Where’s our transport?”
“She should be here soon,” I said, and glanced at my watch.
Then as if on cue, a small car pulled into Vince’s driveway. Hannah Kjelson got out of the driver’s side, looking nervous.
“No way,” Vince said in awe.
“You know where to drop them off?” I said.
Hannah nodded.
“Them?” Vince said. “You’re not going?”
“I’ll meet you guys there later. There’s something I want to do first. You go and get the plan in motion as scheduled.”
Vince nodded and then got into the car, followed by the others. That’s why I love Vince: he knew that sometimes it was best to not ask questions. He trusted that I had a good reason.
“So you’ll pick me up downtown in like forty minutes?” I said to Hannah.
She gave me a thumbs-up and then got into her car and drove away. I hopped onto Vince’s bike and took off in the opposite direction.
I got to Staples’s apartment building about fifteen minutes later. He’d had us over a few times to watch football and eat chili and nachos. “Classic Big Brother,” he’d said at the time. What a load of crap.
I didn’t need to buzz for him because as I pulled up, I saw him walking toward his garage. I pedaled after him and then drove around and stopped right in front of him.
“Mac! Where were you Tuesday morning? I waited at the pickup spot forever! And what’s up with you and Vince not answering my calls or texts? I mean, what is going on?”
He had been calling both Vince and me and sending us text messages. We’d been deleting them all unread. I didn’t need to read his gloating.
“Right,” I said. “Like you’re going to play dumb?”
“Play dumb about what?”
“Look, I know it was you who stole our money! We trusted you! We thought you really had turned yourself around. And it turns out it was all a lie, another lie. You were double-crossing us from the start!”
“Mac,” Staples said, holding up his hands. “What the heck are you talking about?”
“I know you took advantage of everything going on with your sister’s business to steal a ton of cash and take revenge on us for what happened last year. That’s why I came here, to tell you what we’re doing to your sister’s business as we speak. I wanted to see your face when you found out.”
“My sister’s business?” He was practically shouting now. “Wait. Kinko is my sister?”
I’d never seen a look of surprise and shock on a person’s face like I did on Staples’s right then.
I took a step back. He really didn’t know . . . but how was that possible? How was any of this possible? Then who was the thief? Why was Staples’s car there that night?
“You better start explaining yourself,” he said with his fist balled up at his side, ready to knock teeth out of some poor fool’s jaw. Mine, to be specific.
So I did. I recapped everything that had happened since Tuesday.
“Unbelievable,” he said. “You’re an idiot.”
“But how could I have known? I mean, your car was there!”
“That wasn’t my car, Mac! Don’t you realize that there are like nine billion blue Toyota Corollas roaming the streets? That one is always parked down the street from you. I pointed it out almost every time we drove past it!”
“I . . .” I started, but what was there to say? He was right; I was an idiot.
“What’s this about your plan today, huh? You said you wanted to see my face when you told me what you were doing.”
I told him about our planned attack on Kinko and her school, which was happening right now.
“Oh man, I have to go help my sister.”
He ran to his garage and drove off before I could barely get a word out, let alone catch him. He was fast. How had I ever thought that the thief had been Staples? Staples was way too athletic to ever let a seventh grader catch him, cramp or no cramp.
Waiting for Hannah to show up was excruciating. I had to get to the school. I had to fix this before Staples barged in to TV Elementary and got himself arrested. Thankfully Hannah showed up right on time, just a few minutes after Staples had left.
During the drive I could barely sit still. What had I done? I knew better, but I had let my anger at getting expelled get the better of me. And now I was about to make everything worse. I wished I still had my phone so I could call Vince and call off the hit.
Thankfully Hannah drove like a maniac, so when we pulled up at the school, Staples was just on his way toward the front door and not inside already. I hopped out and ran up to him.
“Staples, don’t!” I yelled.
He turned. “I’ve got to help Abby!”
“If you go in there, you’ll never get her back. Wait here. I’ll go in. I can fix this.”
Staples scowled at me but then nodded and stomped back toward his car. He leaned against it and then slid down until he was sitting on the pavement with his back to the driver’s-side door. He stuck his face in his hands and slumped forward.
I went around the school to the back. I went through the secret entrance to the tunnels that Kinko had told me about in her email last week. As soon as I got down there, I realized I was too late.
The first thing I saw in the main chamber was the Beagle, running from tunnel entrance to tunnel entrance, releasing several small snakes into each one as we’d planned.
“Go, my lovelies!” he said. “This tunnel looks perfect for an Elaphe obsoleta quadrivittata. Yes, indeed. Oh, and this one is just right for Gary, the Elaphe guttata guttata.”
I was getting the willies already just thinking about snakes in those dark tunnels. Tyrell had slipped off somewhere like I figured he would. I knew that if I couldn’t see him, he still could probably see me.
Vince and Great White were involved in a skirmish with the twins. Then the door to Kinko’s office burst open.
Sue came charging out, followed by a black blur. And then Kinko stood right in the doorway, grinning.
“Let’s do this,” she said, pulling out a thick yardstick and wielding it like a sword.
“Wait, stop!” I shouted.
But no one heard me.
Beagle dashed into the room and emptied the last of the small snakes, which he had assured me were not poisonous or overly aggressive, onto the floor.
“Go, be free, my small army of Lampropeltis triangulum elapsoides! Do my bidding!” The Beagle held up his hands as dozens of snakes writhed their way across the floor, slithering over one another like they were all part of one single being. He cackled madly.
Kinko screamed and took a step back. Even Sue, the huge monster that he was, stopped dead in his tracks. Only the black blur known as Michi Oba seemed unfazed. She darted from person to person striking out with her black marker in quick strokes.
I saw that she’d already somehow managed to write a whole swearword on Vince’s left cheek. He’d have a doozy of a time explaining that one to his mom
and teachers later.
Kinko regrouped and started swinging her yardstick at the snakes, which sent Beagle diving to protect them while screaming out their names. I had no idea how he could tell them apart.
“No, Sleepy! I’ll protect you! How dare you swing at Mr. Conley!” he yelled, cowering over the snakes and taking repeated blows to his back from the yardstick.
Vince scrambled tentatively through the swarm of slithering snakes on the floor toward Kinko so he could help Beagle. Meanwhile, Sue and Great White were now engaged in a battle in the middle of the room. Great White, although clearly outmatched by the monster size-wise, was doing just enough to get in Sue’s way and keep him busy. Part of that involved Great White slugging Sue in the torso and stomach repeatedly. The punches seemed to be bouncing off with little effect, but they had to be adding up.
Then I heard faint screams behind me, getting closer.
“Snakes, snakes, snakes, snakes!” the voice shouted as it grew louder. The Aussie came shooting out of the tunnels with a small snake in his hair and more slithering out behind him. “Snakes in the tunnels!”
It was total chaos now. I saw Kinko whack Vince in the face with her yardstick, and then I spotted Michi Oba marking a section of the wall. A section of the wall that then moved and yelled out in surprise.
Except that she wasn’t marking the wall at all, obviously; she was marking Tyrell. She’d spotted him, no problem. I couldn’t believe it. He’d finally met his match.
I kept yelling for everyone to stop, but it was no use. It was an all-out battle. Then suddenly I was tackled from behind. I hit the hard ground with a grunt.
“This will teach you,” my attacker said, driving a knee into my lower back.
I rolled and kicked, managing to clip him in the ankle. He stumbled and nearly fell. I reached out and grabbed his ankles and pulled until he did hit the deck. Then I recognized who it was.
“Jimmy?” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“You mean you haven’t figured it out yet, guy?”
“You! You stole the money!”
I couldn’t believe I had been so blind. Of course. Jimmy and Kinko had been in on this together the whole time. It all made sense now. Jimmy was too good a businessman to let things get as out of control as they did . . . unless he let them on purpose. They had played me and I had let them.
“Wow, way to go, genius. It only took you forty billion years to figure it out.”
He climbed to his feet and charged at me again. I rolled away, and he went sprawling on the ground. That’s when I grabbed one of the snakes and let it slither up his pant leg. He screamed, scrambled to his feet, and ran out of the chamber through the passage that led to the shed entrance outside.
I heard a battle cry and turned around. Kinko was charging right at me with her yardstick swinging around over her head like a propeller. I turned and also ran through the tunnel.
She was four years younger than me, sure, but she was also insane and wielding a heavy yardstick.
I went up through the tunnel and into the maintenance shed that housed the secret tunnel entrance. Jimmy was outside already, still jumping around trying to shake the snake free.
Kinko was still right behind me, and I had to duck as she followed me out, swinging madly.
The snakes must have been getting to everyone, because it wasn’t long before the fight had moved almost entirely outside. It was chaos: Sue and Great White and Vince and the two twins were in a pile of fists and kicks and it was hard to tell who, if anyone, was winning. But then a loud voice of authority froze us all.
“What is going on out here?”
“Principal Cochran!” one of the twins yelled.
I turned and saw a middle-aged lady with a distinctly principal-ian vibe flanked by two teachers.
“Run!” I shouted.
Vince and Great White broke away from the pack and started running. One of the teachers went after them. I stayed back. I didn’t care what happened to me now. I just needed to make sure I could get as many of the others out of this as I could.
Principal Cochran grabbed Kinko’s arm, and the other teacher corralled Sue and Jimmy. Michi Oba, the Beagle, and Tyrell were nowhere to be seen.
“What is the meaning of this, Abby Larson?” Principal Cochran shouted. “And what were you doing down in the tunnels? You know that entering those tunnels is an automatic suspension! Maybe we should go down there and see what you’ve been up to?”
“No!”
I turned. It was Staples. He must have heard the fighting from the front of the school.
“Pardon?” Principal Cochran said.
Staples walked up to her and shook his head.
“No, it was me. I’m sorry. Don’t punish her for something that was my idea. I had left things of mine down there from years back and paid these kids to go down after them for me. They didn’t have any idea what they were getting themselves into. And Abby didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“Staples,” I started. If he took the fall for this, then he could kiss his chances at getting custody of his sister good-bye.
“Shut up, Mac,” he said, turning back to Principal Cochran. “My sister hasn’t had anyone to stick up for her in her entire life. Don’t punish her for things I did years ago. This is my fault.”
He looked at Kinko and she looked away. Her head was down, her hair swinging over her face. I saw a clear drop fall and land on her shoe.
“Well, you always were my favorite former student, Barry,” Mrs. Cochran said dryly. “I was hoping I’d never have to see you again. I have to say I’m not surprised that you’re behind all this.”
Just then the other teacher who had chased Vince and Great White came walking back toward us, alone. He was breathing hard and shaking his head. They had gotten away.
“Well, come on, all of you, let’s go sort this out,” Mrs. Cochran said. “Abby, since it seems you’re a bystander in all this, I’d like you to head back to class with Mr. Erickson. I’ll be calling your foster parents to let them know what’s happening.”
Everyone started heading back toward the building, one of the teachers rounding up me and Sue and the twins and the rest of the kids from Thief Valley.
I probably could have made a break for it right then, but I figured what’s the point? I really sort of deserved whatever I had coming to me. Just like Staples, I guess. I had no one to blame but me and I deserved whatever punishment I got. Besides, what would they do to me? I was already expelled.
As we all walked back toward the school, I saw Kinko nudging her way closer and closer to Staples until she was right next to him. Then she reached out her small hand and took Staples’s. He looked down at her, and I saw his red, tear-filled eyes. And then he held her hand back. She grabbed his arm and leaned her head against it as they walked.
Two schools had been trashed. Thousands of dollars lost. I had been expelled, and would likely be grounded for life. And there was no telling what would happen to Staples and the rest of my friends.
But suddenly, for just a moment, everything seemed just as it should be.
You didn’t seriously think this was just going to end without me filling you in on how everything turned out, did you? You ought to know me better than that by now.
Well, as it turned out, we did suffer some casualties that day at TV Elementary. The Beagle had stayed behind in the tunnels to gather up all of his snakes. Supposedly he just kept yelling, “I shall leave no Serpentes/Ophidia behind! I shall save you all!” as he scrambled into the tunnels to find them. So, as a result, he got caught and was eventually expelled, just like me.
I felt pretty horrible about it for a while, but the Beagle assured me he didn’t care. He said over and over that he’d rather get expelled saving his snakes than get away clean but lose just one of them. Plus, he seemed pretty proud that he’d joined the ranks of me and Kitten as local legends for sacrificing ourselves for the greater good. The Beagle deserved to feel proud of what h
e had done that day. Without his snakes and the chaos they had caused, the fight never would have moved outside. And then who knows what would have happened?
Another casualty was Tyrell. Michi Oba had schooled him, basically. And while he managed to escape mostly in one piece and without getting detention or being expelled, he definitely had left his pride and dignity behind. He got marked something awful. I mean, it was just the name Roger Moore written on his face over and over again, which I didn’t understand, but to Tyrell it was pretty much the end of the world to have that name labeled all over his face for three weeks. Especially in conjunction with getting bested by a small grade schooler.
So Tyrell actually retired and went into hiding shortly after our raid. He said he needed to do it in order to “regain his confidence and restore himself in the ranks of spies.” Whatever that meant.
Anyways, I’d give it even money that he and Michi Oba would eventually cross paths again. There will be no way to tell. After all, good spies are only seen when they want to be seen.
Great White and Vince got roughed up pretty good during the brawl, and they both got marked as well. Great White was marked with the words “Manchester United,” which about killed him. He just kept telling me, “But, Mac, I’m from Liverpool! Liverpool! I can’t have this rubbish on my face!”
Vince was marked with the word “smug.” Man, did he hate having that word on his face. Pretty much the opposite of what he was. Michi Oba clearly had no equal.
So, anyways, who’s to say that all of this doesn’t repeat itself, right? With Jimmy and Kinko going right back to what they were doing? Well, Jimmy Two-Tone also was caught for the incident. Apparently this wasn’t his first run-in with trouble because his parents sent him off to some military academy.
Kinko, though, had no desire to go back into business. She had been running it in the first place to prove to Staples that she could take care of herself, that she didn’t need him anymore. Which was sort of not true at all, it turned out.
And as for the Fourth Stall? Well, Dickerson got so sick of all these horrible things happening to our school that he actually scrounged up enough money to get a real toilet installed in there. He also had the bathroom cleaned up and restored to meet all health codes. So, as of today, the East Wing boys’ bathroom is once again a fully functioning bathroom and nothing more. At least as far as I know.
The Fourth Stall Part III Page 17