Reaching between her legs, Bailey openly fucked her fingers. Nothing seemed to be enough. Lucien clamped onto her leg. The room spun as he flipped her around, forcing her to straddle his face while sucking his dick. At the first probe of his tongue, Bailey moaned. She hadn’t known exactly what she was missing, but he’d known. His cock slipping down her throat became a mindless act as she turned inward. Bailey’s hips rocked, taking her pleasure from Lucien’s lips. Shifting his position, Lucien gripped her ass between his hands. Spreading her cheeks wide, he dove in, eating her ass. Hot cum filled her mouth, coating her taste buds, blindsiding her, and stealing the oxygen from the room. The waves went on and on, pulsating through her pussy. Without thought, she licked Lucien clean and prayed for the ecstasy to never end.
* * * * *
With her feet braced on the wall, the sheet fell across Bailey’s knees, forming a white tent that shook as she moved her legs from side to side. She was incapable of being still while resting her head on Lucien’s ripped stomach. She loved these moments—the calm after the storm. Being with Lucien was part getting lit combined with too much sugar and ten times the caffeine of the world’s biggest coffee. He kept her so high, the air thinned. Her mind refused to work properly when he was around. As hard as she tried, Bailey couldn’t focus on anything other than Lucien. Her scalp tingled with delight as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Snagging her necklace, Bailey worked the charm from side to side, trying to distract herself from the delicious man beside her. He’d said he loved her. She wanted to jump to her feet and bounce on the bed like an eight-year-old. Happiness filled her to the brim. Lucien’s hand covered hers, stilling her restless motions. He rubbed the golden piece between her fingers.
“Where did you get this? I’ve never seen you wear it before.”
His voice held the same wonderment Bailey felt every time she looked at the necklace. It had always been that way. The sensation never lessened.
“It belonged to my mother.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about your family before.”
Bailey shrugged. He wouldn’t hear much talk of them now if Bailey could help it. “Sometimes, when I’m feeling nostalgic, I put it on. I’ve never seen another like it.” The golden coin captured the light as Bailey held it up for Lucien to see. “My mom used to take it from her jewelry box so I could hold it. She’d always say, ‘Every coin has two sides except for this one.’ I never understood what she meant because it has a head and a tail. I never cared, though. It’s pretty, and I liked holding it. Still do,” she added, admitting something she never had before. Lucien did that to her. He made her want to spill every secret.
“How long did it take you to convince her to let you keep it?”
Bailey shook off the sadness attempting to push its way in. “I never did. After she died, my dad gave it to me for…” She let the coin fall away. The chain caught the piece before it hit the mattress. “…being a good girl,” Bailey said, incapable of going on. She rolled, going up onto her knees before straddling his hips. As she braced her palms against his chest, Lucien smirked. God, she loved that knowing smile. On any other man, she’d want to wipe it from his face. With Lucien, she craved its taste. Sitting back on her heels, Bailey pulled the chain over her head and held it out.
“I want you to have it.”
“He thinks I hate him. I can’t make him understand. It’s me I hate.”
—Bailey’s Journal, A.D.
Chapter 4
Now…
The water was every bit as lovely as it had been when she’d been here last. Of course, today, she sought the solace of the river for a different reason. Finding the spot where she’d met Sol was surprisingly easy. It was almost odd how hard it was for her to find the apartment she lived in every day since her death, while this place was a snap to locate.
Bailey found the exact area where they’d met and sat. Of course, if she were being honest with herself and willing to overthink things, it was possible they’d never met at all. It would be beyond simple to find a spot that only existed in her mind. Bailey rubbed her temples. This was eternity for her. How exhausting. It gave a whole new perspective to the saying “I’ll sleep when I die.” People truly did not understand how ridiculous they were over such things. Then again, she guessed there really was no rest for the wicked. She smiled at her joke.
A gust of wind swept Bailey’s hair up, obstructing her view. She swiped it away. A snow-colored owl hopped through the grass beside her before puffing up and settling down. Bailey stared at the bird, fascinated. She’d never seen an owl close up before. The thing was massive. It looked soft. An overwhelming desire to stroke its feathers overcame Bailey. The bird’s sharp talons and scary beak gave her pause.
“I can’t die twice. Pain is an illusion,” Bailey said, lifting her hand and slowly reaching out. Instead of flying away as she expected, it hopped forward and accepted her touch. The owl’s dark eyes followed her every move, but it didn’t seem frightened. Bailey stroked his feathers. His eyes closed as if enjoying her touch. “Wow. You’re such a cool fellow.” In the blink of an eye, the owl transformed. In its place sat Sol.
“You took longer to get here than I expected.”
“You’re a bird.” Bailey didn’t know why she said as much. It simply seemed someone should. Sol chuckled, but Bailey still found herself flat on her back. The soft bank cushioned her fall as Sol landed solidly between her thighs. Her heart sped. Fear should’ve been fueling her body’s reaction with Sol pinning her to the ground. It didn’t.
“I am a beast of many forms.”
His solid black eyes were growing on her. The more Bailey stared into them, the more beautiful they became. She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to hold back the question. She failed. “Are you real?”
Sol tilted his head to one side as if assessing her seriousness. “Touch me and find out,” he said, daring Bailey to do it with every syllable he spoke. “Go on. Touch me.” Sol smirked, adding, “Anywhere.” Accepting his challenge, Bailey reached up and cupped his face between her hands. Sol’s mischievous grin grew, revealing sharp fangs Bailey hadn’t noticed before now. “Bold choice,” he teased. Ignoring his ridiculousness, Bailey absorbed every detail. His skin was hot—more so than a human’s. Then again, perhaps her skin was colder than someone’s still among the living. Sol seemed more animal than human. Searching her heart, Bailey tried hunting down the same terror she’d experienced last time she’d seen him. The fear she should’ve been experiencing. There was nothing—only peace.
“You feel real, but I don’t trust my mind.”
Sol’s smile fell at her confession. “Why?”
Like ripping off a bandage, Bailey did what she should’ve with Lucien from the beginning. She blurted out the truth. “I’m insane.”
“You’re insane?”
Bailey nodded. “I killed my father.”
“You killed your father?”
She nodded again. “You wanted to know how I ended up here. That’s how.”
“That’s how you ended up here?”
An odd suspicion snuck in. She wondered if Sol was mocking her. “Why are you repeating everything I say?”
“Not everything,” Sol said, pointing out the obvious. “Only the lies.” Outrage had Bailey attempting to push her way out from beneath him. Sol didn’t budge. Nor did he appear bothered by her flailing around underneath him. If anything, his weight increased, making Bailey more aware of their intimate position. “I also didn’t ask how you ended up here. I asked why you are here,” he said, tapping the ground beside her head with his knuckles. “In this place. My space,” he added, as if attempting to clarify. “People don’t come here unless they belong here.”
That gave her pause and caused her to go still. “I don’t know. This whole place, I don’t understand it. The scenery always changes. Sometimes, I can’t find my way back to my apartment. Other times, I can’t leave my building at all. I don’t like it here.”<
br />
He shrugged. Bailey felt the motion more than saw it. “That apartment isn’t your home. That’s why you can’t find it. Stop attempting to stay where you don’t belong and you’ll find peace. Let me show you something.”
Sol hauled her to her feet without waiting for her agreement. With a snap of his fingers, a small boat appeared at the edge of the water. In spite of all the unusual things happening around her, Sol made Bailey feel normal. Being in his company was as natural as breathing. Running away never crossed her mind. She didn’t know his intentions. For all she knew, he could finally be taking her where she’d expected to end up when she’d died—the spot where she’d burn for all eternity. But somehow, without a shred of proof to back up her gut, she doubted it. The gentle way he helped her into the boat didn’t strike Bailey as someone bent on harming her.
“Where are we headed?”
The dinghy moved on its own accord the moment Sol settled onto the bench across from her. “I saw where you sleep,” Sol said, making her face burn in mortification. “Turnabout is fair play, don’t you think?”
Bailey’s cheeks ached from her wide grin. She barely stopped herself from clapping with happiness. “How far away do you live?”
One corner of Sol’s mouth lifted. “Are you in a hurry?”
Shoving her hands between her knees, Bailey hoped to hide her excitement. Other than Lucien, no one interacted with her at all. Boredom and loneliness weighed more than she realized. The idea of going anywhere at all made her giddy.
“I am and I don’t know why.”
Sol set one elbow on the boat’s edge and stretched his long legs out until they crowded hers. He was the perfect picture of ease. His muscles bulged in all the right places. It was as if he’d been sculpted by the world’s greatest artist. But for Bailey, the sexiest thing about Sol was that he didn’t laugh at her confession.
“Thank you.”
At her softly spoken gratitude, Sol’s expression shifted, becoming curious. “For what?”
Bailey shrugged. A thousand confessions sat on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to tell him how much it meant to her that she wasn’t alone. How it felt to be sane, if only for a moment. For the first time in her life, Bailey was normal. If that wasn’t as fucked up as shit came, she didn’t know what was. Instead of saying all those things aloud, Bailey went with the bare minimum.
“For spending time with me.”
“Gratitude should always be reserved for people who want nothing in return.”
Every ounce of good sense fled, taking the warning bells that should’ve been present with it. At Sol’s heated expression, Bailey caught herself leaning forward, hoping to be closer to him. “What do you want in return?”
Sol’s lids lowered until her watched through his lashes. “I already have it.”
Before Bailey could inquire further, a huge structure came into view. It reminded Bailey of a bio dome. The sky turned dark as if a switch had been thrown. Her gaze moved back to Sol’s. He looked a little too innocent. Bailey ignored his ability to set mood-lighting anywhere he went.
“What is this place?”
The boat hit dry land and Sol stood. Reaching for her hand, he helped her climb out. “You’ll see.”
Pride shone heavily in Sol’s voice, making Bailey twice as curious. He didn’t release her hand. Instead, he held tightly as he led her toward the structure. She let it go on. Starved for touch didn’t even begin to cover the yearning chasm in her chest. Not to mention, his palm felt amazing pressing against hers.
The smell hit her first. Dirt, rain, and nature assailed her senses. As much as Bailey wanted to see everything, her eyes fell closed as she inhaled the scent. “It smells like life.” She opened her eyes to find Sol staring at her, wearing an unfathomable expression.
“I suppose it does,” he admitted.
Tearing her gaze away from the too-serious version of Sol, before she became attached to this side of him, Bailey finally took in the sights surrounding her. Plants, flowers, fruits, and herbs of every kind imaginable filled the interior. There was every probability that anything else could’ve been inside the maze of exploding colors, but Bailey’s senses were too overwhelmed to notice. She was speechless. No matter how hard Bailey searched her mind, she couldn’t come up with a term strong enough to describe how amazing the place was. She could feel his stare, waiting for her opinion.
Bailey moved to a gorgeous purple flower she’d never seen before and inspected it up close. “When I was a little girl, my mom took me to this curiosity shop. You know, where they have shrunken heads and whatnot. I wanted to see everything, know its history, and hold each item in my hands. Of course, they didn’t allow that, since—I’m sure—more than half the shit there wasn’t real.” She finally met Sol’s gaze once more. “That’s how I feel right now. This place is too amazing for words. I want to study every inch.”
Sol dropped his gaze to the floor, but not before Bailey caught the pride crossing his face. To Bailey, her answer seemed nowhere near enough. Yet it appeared she’d given Sol what he needed. It took Bailey a minute to recognize the unfamiliar sensation growing in her chest and easing the tension in her shoulders. She was content and enjoying someone’s company. Those emotions were completely underrated. She’d never realized how much so until now. Life and death had been fucking hard. Rest was all she’d ever wanted—craved. Being with Sol was so damn peaceful.
Lost in thought, she didn’t see Sol move until he was inches away.
“Close your eyes.”
Without hesitation, Bailey did as told. Something soft brushed the tip of her nose, making her want to sneeze. She instinctively inhaled. The wonderful scent had her doing it again. “Oh my gosh. That smells amazing—like a cherry sucker.” Because she couldn’t stop from doing so, Bailey continued drawing the scent into her lungs. “Why are my eyes closed?”
Sol chuckled. He sounded closer than he’d been before. “Because it’s an ugly flower, and I wanted you to love it for its hidden qualities,” he said, moving it away from her face. Bailey suppressed the urge to chase after it. Sol’s body pressed against hers, stopping her from giving in to temptation. “Plus, I wanted to do this,” Sol added, touching his lips to hers.
Bailey startled at the unexpected move. She didn’t pull away. He made no attempt to deepen the kiss. His lips simply clung to hers. Sweetly. Innocently. Except there was nothing sweet or innocent about her reaction. Bailey’s body lit like an inferno. Her hands remained at her sides, balled into fists by force of will alone. In her mind, Bailey did things to Sol that would make a sadist blush. His lips moved to her cheek, pressing a light kiss there before traveling to her ear. The slight catch in his breathing against her ear weakened Bailey’s knees.
“I have something else to show you.”
“God, please let it be handcuffs and cherry-flavored body butter.”
Sol chuckled and took a step back. Her eyes fluttered open. He seemed twice as wicked.
“God can’t hear you here. Even if he could, I think he stopped handing out body butter a few centuries back.”
“And the handcuffs?”
One corner of Sol’s mouth lifted, kicking up the mischievousness in his gaze. “I’m well stocked.”
Bailey shook her head, attempting to chase away the spell he weaved over her. “I don’t doubt it. Now, even though I’m impressed beyond words, I’m still dying to see what’s next.”
“You make my heart race.”
Of all the responses in all the world, Sol chose that one. It was as if he always knew the exact thing to say to leave her completely speechless. He reminded Bailey of every instance when she’d been on a date, wondering what the man was thinking, and hoping it was something amazing. Every sweet response she could dream up rolled from Sol’s tongue without the least bit of thought or effort.
“In a good way, I hope,” Bailey said, trying to keep her thoughts from spilling out.
“Yes,” Sol said, holding out his arm li
ke a gentleman. When she accepted, he steered her deeper inside. “When you’ve lived as long as I have, it’s unique.” His claim sent Bailey’s curiosity into overdrive. Sol’s choice of words said more than she thought he intended. Whatever he was, and she had her ideas, he was alive—not dead like her, but something else entirely. “You’ve gone quiet.”
Instead of mulling it over, Bailey chose to be as open as Sol had been. “If I asked you a question, would you be honest with me?”
“I’m always honest, unless I’m not.”
Bailey shook her head. Sol was a mess. “Fair enough. Should I be afraid of you?”
A door appeared before them. Sol pulled her to a stop and met her gaze. “You should be terrified.” Without breaking her stare, Sol reached past her and opened the door. Bailey couldn’t look away from his eyes. He was serious. She should run.
Bailey searched her heart and came up empty. “I’m not.”
Sol’s features transformed, becoming sinister. “I know.”
“Why should I be afraid?”
His hand found her cheek. The heat of his skin seared her. “Sometimes cruelty and mercy look so similar we can’t tell the difference any longer.”
Bailey’s mind stuttered to a stop. She’d heard those words before. Her brain scrambled to remember where. The memory was just out of reach, like the wisp of a dream. Before she could grab hold, Sol nodded toward the room, reminding her of their errand. She glanced inside and every worry disappeared. Books filled the entire space. From floor to ceiling and wall to wall, leather bound copies of everything imaginable packed the room. The smell was even better than the flower’s. She loved books, especially when they were old, and Sol’s obviously were. The only furniture other than shelves was a large wooden desk and two chairs.
As if its pages called to her, Bailey moved to a book sitting open on the desk. She could feel Sol following on her heels, but she couldn’t resist the pull of the tome’s power. The words were handwritten. Ink stained the pages yellowed by time. The tips of her fingers skimmed the indentations of each letter. Odd shapes surrounded by scribbled notes filled every corner. It took Bailey a minute to realize what she was seeing.
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