‘Why are you saying all this, Sarah?’
After a long sigh, Sarah said, ‘Because love isn’t everything.’
‘No? You think it isn’t?’
‘I know it isn’t. But no more; I’m not going to talk any more. For the last few minutes I’ve been speaking as a mother, but as the housekeeper I am under orders from the Major-General in the basket chair to fetch his granddaughter, and I would like to bet you a shilling that within a minute or so that damn bell of his will be ringing. Lord!…the prophecies I make. There it goes! I hate the sound of that bell; the only way I could stop it is to go and live with him in that room.’
Swiftly putting out her arms, Marie Anne drew Sarah to her and kissed her; then giving her no time either to speak or to respond in any other way, she took Sarah’s hand and ran with her from the room.
Nine
When, towards the end of June, there had been no public mention of a body having been found either in the river or in the dock, those concerned could hopefully presume that Vincent had been swept out to sea at the height of the storm.
Although relief was felt all round, nevertheless James was disturbed by the two letters he had recently received from David. The first was to the effect that his mother felt she must write to the office of the Governor-General for help in tracing the whereabouts of her son, who had gone to France for a rest cure following a nervous breakdown. The second letter stated that, following the receipt of a negative and terse reply, she felt she must return home, for she was sure he would be in England and would make for the house. It was all the fault of that girl, she had stated, and that she couldn’t care less what he would do to her; however, she was worried for him, in the state she knew him to be.
James’s mind was in a quandary. He had not shown the letter, nor discussed it, with either his father or Pat, although his father had questioned him as to what Veronica might do when she eventually accepted that Vincent was not going to return to the ranch. Did he think it would bring her back home?
Although knowing the answer to this, James had feigned ignorance.
And so, sitting alone in his study now, he asked himself what he should do. The two houses were agog with preparations for the double wedding and were he to hint to either Pat or Marie Anne of the probability that their mother might put in an appearance, he dared not think of their reactions; and not taking into account those, too, of his father and Don. If only she didn’t come until after the wedding. He must write to David straight away and ask him to try to arrange her passage so that she wouldn’t arrive until late October …
However, his letter must have crossed with one from David telling him that Veronica had for some time been troubled with stomach pains and diarrhoea and had made arrangements to see a woman’s specialist; and that she was determined, while in Winnipeg, to book her passage to England.
It was five weeks later that he received another letter from David. The early post had been late, and so he did not open it until he was in his office. After reading the first short paragraph, he dropped the letter onto the table, and placing his hands flat upon it, he fell back into his chair and closed his eyes, seeing the words again:
Father, no matter what ill-feeling there was between you, I am sure you will be shocked to know that we buried Mother yesterday.
Slowly, he pulled himself forward and, picking up the letter, he read on:
You remember that in my last letter I told you she had an appointment about the pains in her stomach, and the diarrhoea, et cetera. Well, I took her to Winnipeg, and when she came out of the specialist’s room she looked so shaken she had to sit down and drink a glass of water. I left her with the nurse and went in to the doctor to enquire what the matter was. His opinion was she had cancer of the stomach and must go into hospital for an operation.
She had not booked her passage home, nor did she speak until I suggested she stay here for a time with me. But she would have none of it; she wanted to go straight back to the ranch.
Three days later I was woken up at five in the morning by Nordquist, who was in a dreadful state. The house woman had found her lying on the floor: she had taken all the painkillers the doctor had given her and had drunk a half bottle of whisky.
I am feeling terrible, Father. I feel I should have done more for her; yet what could I have done? It wasn’t my company she wanted, it was Vincent’s.
I hadn’t told John the whole story of Vincent’s devilry towards Marie Anne, because, as you know, John didn’t like him to start with, but he could hardly believe it; nor that Mother could have backed Vincent all through this trouble. I am surprised he hasn’t turned up at your end.
Don’t let it upset you too much, Father. I shall always remember that when we were young you did your best for us.
My love to you.
David.
James folded up the letter and returned it to his pocket. She was dead. The last worry of his life was gone. Pat’s mother was dead; Evelyn’s mother was dead; Marie Anne’s mother was dead; his father’s daughter-in-law was dead; and not one of them would sorrow for her, as no-one sorrowed for Vincent; yet were he to tell them, her going would surely cast a shadow on the weddings.
Two old sayings came into his mind: Let sleeping dogs lie; Let the dead bury the dead.
So be it.
Ten
It was half-past two in the morning. The last carriage had rolled down the drive. The last three brakes had rolled down the drive. The last two waggonettes had rolled down the drive, to be followed by four traps. The lights in the two houses were still blazing, but the outside hanging lanterns were fast being extinguished.
In Emanuel’s bedroom the fire was blazing brightly and he was sitting on the cushioned wicker bed-chair in his long nightshirt and dressing gown; and sitting to his side was Sarah. She was still in her day clothes; or, at least, her wedding finery; a soft pink woollen dress with rose-coloured collar and cuffs and distinguished by the broad pink suede belt, which showed off her small waist and an altogether attractive figure which had for years been hidden by a uniform.
‘Peace, perfect peace.’
‘As you say, sir,’ she nodded towards Emanuel, ‘Peace, perfect peace. I’ve told them downstairs to leave everything until the morning and Mr James is giving the same order along at The Manor, because you know, sir, a band of Egyptian slaves couldn’t have worked harder than the staff have done these past weeks, and with such a magnificent result, don’t you think so, sir?’
‘I do, Sarah. I do. I never thought to see such a display in my houses. Never; never. One hundred and seventy-five guests. Where did they all come from?’
‘That’s what Mr Pat said, but he had added, laughing, “What am I talking about? She’s bringing half the pit village with her.” But her people are nice, don’t you think so, sir, Anita’s people?’
‘Very pleasant. Very pleasant indeed. Her father’s a very intelligent man. He’s promised to call and put me in the picture as to how a mine is run. That will be interesting, and I told him that if he did, I would then tell him how we get an iron ship to float on water.’
Sarah laughed as she said, ‘Her mother was funny: she said she was so happy she cried all last night.’
Emanuel now lay well back in the chair and stared towards the fire for a moment or so before he said, ‘I have never before experienced the feeling, and I never shall again, as that when I saw my little wild bird come down those altar steps on the arm of Don, and I thought it strange that all her life, from when she was born, in fact, she has not looked like other people. She was always beautiful, but in a strange way, and everything that has happened to her has been unusual in its hate and its love; and even now she has married the strangest of men, because Don is no ordinary man. He is, I have found, a deep spiritual being and in his own maimed way he appears as odd as she does. He’s handsome, and she’s beautiful, but both have that odd look about them, his through his scar, hers through her temperament, I think; and oh, didn’t he look fin
e!’
‘Yes; yes, sir.’ Sarah’s voice was low and had a faraway sound to it. ‘Yes sir, he did look fine. He’s a fine man altogether, a wonderful man.’
‘Yes, Sarah, he is indeed a wonderful man; and you know something? Although the girls were dressed beautifully, it was thoughtful of Anita, wasn’t it, to refuse any falderals of lace and a train, because she knew that Marie Anne, being already a mother, would not be in white. And my grandson, my dear, dear Patrick, the lovable Patrick, he looked as if he was walking on air. As for Don, I’ve never seen a man walk so proudly. And do you know something else? Half that crowd outside weren’t there just to see a double wedding, they were there, so I understand from low quarters, to have a peep at the branded man. And what did they see? A handsome individual with longish fair hair and a not-so-noticeable mask that matched the colour of his skin. And did you notice Don, as they came down the aisle, put out a hand to the young fellow in the wheelchair, and his best man, the doctor, do likewise when he followed on?’
‘Yes; yes, I saw it all, sir. And Marie Anne, when she first told me her wedding dress was to be in French grey, I thought, oh my goodness! What will she look like? But what did she look like? Nobody’s seen a gown like that. I never thought grey could be so beautiful; it went creamy in some lights.’
‘Yes, I know. She put it on for me last night, or was it the night before?’ He laughed now. ‘And it was trimmed with that delicate blue. And then that little bonnet of forget-me-nots on the back of her head. Beautiful, beautiful, a picture. And then, there was Evelyn, too. She looked magnificent. She showed no animosity about the pomp she had missed at her own wedding: she is so happy with her man and her coming child. But I was talking about the feeling I had when Marie Anne stepped down from the altar, for as she passed she looked at me, and the look was full of pure love, yes indeed, pure love.’ He drew in a deep breath now and his voice rose as he said, ‘Not that I didn’t love my dear, dear wife. Oh yes, I loved her. But, Sarah, there are so many variations of love, so many grades. You know, I see kindness as a form of love, and I recognised long ago in the little Mary Anne, as she was, the same trait as was in myself for…for I’ve never forgotten a kindness done me, nor indeed a bad turn. And isn’t she proving this by spending the first week of their honeymoon in that awful part of London? They visit the Brothers today. That is so, isn’t it, Sarah?’
Sarah laughed softly now as she said, ‘Yes, he’s going to show her off to the Brothers and especially to his old tutor, Brother Percival, and they’ll have dinner with them all. Then the next day being Saturday, they are taking Annie’s lot up the river, and Annie with them. Of course, there won’t be so many of them, with the two girls being here and Shane away at the monastery school. I’ll never forget the look on the faces of Margaret and Maureen when they entered this house. Maureen was too dumbfounded to speak, but Margaret said, “Eeh! Aunt Sarah, it’s like coming into Heaven.” The invitation to be bridesmaids to Marie Anne had come to them like a gift actually dropped from Heaven. Oh, they’ve had the time of their lives these last few days. They certainly won’t want to go back tomorrow, back to that quarter, that quarter in which Marie Anne insists on spending the first week of her honeymoon. But when they visit Ernie Everton’s Eating House, oh I wish I could be there, just to see Mrs Everton’s face. And I know she’ll get Marie Anne to play the piano. Then she’ll load them with sausage and mash, or pie and peas and beer…oh yes, and beer. That’s where I pulled pints; I told you, sir.’
‘You did; you did. But I can’t imagine you behind a bar.’
‘Oh, there are worse places to work. By, yes, sir, worse places! But wait till she introduces Don to Paddy’s Emporium. She’s sure he’s never been in there, although he knew the district well. Then finally they’re going to end up at the Daily Reporter. I’d like to be there too. Those fellows’ll get a gliff, especially when they see Don, for they’ll spot a story there and be at him to talk. But Don’s wise. Anyway, she’s had the choice of their daily excursions, but he’s seen to the evenings: each night he’s booked either for a theatre or a variety or concert of some kind.’
‘Well, I’m glad about that, for that kind of thing goes more with the Grand Hotel I had booked for them. I wonder what the manager will think about their daily excursions? He’ll likely have them deloused before he lets them back in again. And what do you think about them also going to Paris for the second week? It will be strange if they meet up with Pat and Anita.’
‘Yes, sir; it will be, but it’s a small world. Anyway, wherever they go they’re together and that’s all they want, just to be together.’ As her voice sank he put out his hand and gently laid it on hers, saying, ‘Are you hurting inside at all, Sarah?’
‘No! No!’ her answer came back swiftly; ‘no, not at all, sir. He is my friend and always will be, and that is something to value. As for her, she is my daughter. It’s very odd, but I never thought I would marry; in fact, I never wanted to; I’d seen enough of it over the water with their big families, besides Annie’s tribe. I knew that wasn’t for me. But Marie Anne came into my life fully made, needing my care and needing my love, because she had left yours and Mr Pat’s behind. Looking back, I know I gave it to her from the beginning. You say, sir, there are many kinds of love; well, in my case, she comes first. The other love follows behind and, as I said, forms a friendship. And that is something to value, because romantic love, you know, no matter how hot, has to cool down and adjust to life, especially if a family comes along. I’ve got a theory, sir, which may seem weird, but I’ve watched it work out in the family back home, and in all those round about: when a child is born a man loses just that bit of his wife, consciously or unconsciously she has given it to the child. It might sound daft but that’s how I see it.’
When he lay staring at her without speaking she said, ‘You’re ready for sleep, sir; I’ll be away so you can get into bed.’
‘I feel very comfortable lying here, Sarah. This is as good as any bed, so if you’ll just put the guard round the fire, I’ll settle down here. But before you do, I’d like to say something to you. I’ll likely mention it again, who knows, but this is a very strange night, a sort of magic night. My young grandson has been married and my younger granddaughter, too, and I’m sure there has never been a double wedding like it before, and I doubt if there’ll ever be one like it again: Anita and Pat were made one, as were Don and Marie Anne, and by that young priest, that young kindly priest, Anita’s brother. And there has been happiness on more faces this day than I’ve ever seen in my life before. And what made me especially glad was the presence of the woman my son proposes to marry as soon as he is free. She was to my liking too: kind, bright, and what you yourself would call homely. And I’m sure she’ll turn The Manor into the home that it has never been for years, not since I first took my wife there as a bride. But now this is what I want to say, and to you, Sarah. Whether you are aware of it or not, my dear, there is something about you that touches on all the lives you come in contact with. Intentionally or not you change people. I’ve tried to pinpoint your particular virtue and I’ve put many names to it, but I think the simplest and the nearest is that of your innate kindness. You seem to know what people need. You seemed to know from the first that I wanted a little brightness, a little fun, say, even joy, in my last dreary years, because it wasn’t forthcoming in my surroundings or in those around me. You see, the light that Marie Anne radiated went out when she left for London; and I doubt, yes, I really doubt whether it would have shone again if she had come back alone; but she brought you with her. At least she blackmailed me into taking you on; and thank God she did, because…well, here I come to the point of what I want to say to you. If, my dear, you had come onto my horizon ten years ago when I had still some vitality left in me, I would, and believe this’—he now took her hand and held it between his own—‘I would have asked you to marry me. Yes; yes, I would, and have said be damned to convention and all its faults and tangents, because I consider yo
u a woman in a thousand, Sarah. You might never have loved me as you did Don, but we would have been the closest of companions, and loving companions. Yes, yes. Oh my dear, my dear, don’t…please don’t cry.’
‘I’m not c-c-crying sir, it’s hay fever. I always get it in winter.’
He began to chuckle. ‘There you are; that’s one of the reasons I’ve always wanted you near me; you can make me laugh. It isn’t everybody that has that power, but…but you believe what I say, Sarah, don’t you?’
It was some time before she could reply, when she said softly, ‘Yes sir; I believe you, and if you had asked me, I would have accepted.’ She now smiled through her tears. ‘That is, after I had picked myself up off the floor I would have said, and very simply and sincerely, “Yes, Emanuel, I will marry you; and I will grow to love you.” That’s what I would have said to you. But now, sir, I can say, and without the offer of marriage, that I do have a love for you. It stands high up among the tangents we have talked about, and because of it and through it I am willing to serve you to the end of your days, or mine.’
‘Oh, Sarah. Sarah!’ He now put up both hands and drew her face towards him, and gently he kissed her on the mouth; then holding her face away from his, he said, ‘That kiss might come from old lips, but it was born in a young and grateful heart. Good night, my dear Foggerty, and thank you. And when, tomorrow, I bully you into making your cheeky retorts, you will respond as always, while we both know we hold a secret known only to us. Goodnight, my late love.’
Slowly, Sarah withdrew her hands from his and when she rose to her feet she couldn’t see him, nor did she see the fireguard that she placed round the still glowing coals, and when she reached the bedroom door and turned and looked back towards him, still she did not see him, nor his raised hand, for she was so blinded by this love that had taken hold of her heart and obliterated all others.
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