by Beth Wiseman
Charlotte went to the Amish diner on Lincoln Highway at six o’clock, like Annie asked her to. It was a cute place with mostly teenage Amish girls working, and the aroma of homemade bread and cinnamon rolls hung in the air. Charlotte pulled her sweater tighter, ordered coffee, and listened to the rain pounding on the roof. It had been an awful ride in Big Red, and Charlotte was sure Annie was having a hard time in this weather. But when she’d tried to call and reschedule, there was no answer.
“Charlotte . . .”
She looked up to see Daniel standing by her table. “Hey.” Sitting taller, she realized she was smiling, something she always seemed to be doing when she saw Daniel. “Sit.” She pointed to the chair across from her. “Are you meeting someone or just stopping in for a quick bite to eat?”
“Both, I guess. Annie asked me to meet her here.” Daniel pulled out a chair and sat down. He was soaking wet and shivering.
Charlotte tapped a finger to her chin. “She asked me to meet her here too. What do you think she wants to talk to both of us about?”
Daniel leaned his forehead against his hands and sighed. “I have no idea.” Shaking his head, he said, “I hope there aren’t more problems with her and Jacob.”
“Me too.”
Daniel ordered coffee and told the waitress they’d wait on Annie before they ordered anything. “I talked to Edna,” he said. “She said she doesn’t have a key to Ethan’s house, and she also said she had no reason to go in it.”
“Hmm . . .” Charlotte resisted the urge to make an ugly comment about Edna. “Was it awkward for you? I mean, seeing her. She wasn’t at church service Sunday, but I’m assuming you see her there sometimes, or just around town, right?”
Daniel nodded. “Ya. As little as possible though.”
“Well, thank you for checking with her.” Sighing, she added, “I sure hope that house sells soon. Then I won’t have to worry about anyone going in and out, and I can find a place to live. As much as I love being with Hannah and her family, I know it’s not a permanent arrangement. I need my own place.”
“Will you buy property or rent a house? I think there are apartments nearby as well.” Daniel took off his hat and set it on the chair beside him, and Charlotte fought not to grin at his flattened dark hat hair, his cropped bangs wet and parted to the side, unintentionally for sure. She envisioned him for a few seconds as not Amish, dressed in a crisp white shirt, dark sports jacket, and slacks, his hair a bit longer. Although by Amish standards, he really needed a trim. You are a good-looking man, Daniel Byler. Under different circumstances . . .
“I’m not sure yet what I’ll do.” She gazed across the table at him. “You know what?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I trust you more than anyone I know, except maybe Hannah and her family. Why is that?” She paused, her eyes still locked with his. “I don’t trust easily.”
“I don’t know. But we’ve talked about this. I don’t trust easily either, but I trust you too.”
“Hmm . . .,” Charlotte said softly. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”
They gazed at each other across the table for a while. “Why not?” he finally asked.
Because I’m not sure if I can be trusted not to fall for a man like you. “I don’t even trust me sometimes.” She’d been thinking about finding a counselor here once she could afford it. She’d been making such good progress with Dr. Levin prior to the breakup with Ryan and before the recollections of the woman and girl came out of nowhere. Maybe it was time to slay her demons for good.
“You get what you see.” Daniel took a sip of his coffee.
“Huh?”
“That’s what you said when you said Mary Troyer was gone, only Charlotte now—what you see is what you get.”
Charlotte smiled. “Oh yeah. I did say that.” She pulled her eyes from Daniel’s and scanned the restaurant. “Where is Annie?”
Daniel looked around also, his eyes landing back on Charlotte as he shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Charlotte smiled. “Did she tell you I was going to be here?”
“Nee.”
“She didn’t mention that you might be here either. And she’s not here. I do believe we’ve been set up.”
Daniel grinned. “You think so?”
“Maybe. I sense that Annie is hoping we become more than friends.”
Daniel stared at her long and hard. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
Charlotte’s heart pounded against her chest. Annie’s words rang in her head. Never say never. “It would be a disaster on so many levels.”
“Ouch.” Daniel’s face turned as red as the truck Charlotte had arrived in. “I guess I overstepped.”
“Daniel . . .” She put her palms flat on the table as she leaned forward. “Even if—” Charlotte had feelings for Daniel, but she’d worked hard to keep them in line with the way things had to be. She cleared her throat. “Never mind. The bottom line is, I’m not Amish.”
After the color in Daniel’s face returned to normal, he said, “You’re right. It would be a disaster on so many levels.”
Charlotte felt like she’d been punched in the gut. Why should it be okay for her to say it and not Daniel? Or maybe it was the way he said it. “But we’ll still be friends, right?”
“Maybe.”
Charlotte let out a tiny grunt. “Maybe?”
Daniel grinned. “You get what you see.”
Fifteen
The next morning, Jacob sat beside Annie at the bus station, holding hands with her and feeling blessed. They’d found a late-night coffee shop and talked until midnight. Despite not getting much sleep, Jacob felt more rested and relaxed than he had in a long time. They’d taken a taxi to the bus station this morning. He eyed the two suitcases in front of them and wished he’d eaten breakfast. His stomach growled at him for forgetting.
Annie squeezed his hand. “Are you okay?”
Jacob nodded. Things were far from perfect, but he and Annie were united, committed to traveling wherever the Lord’s path took them. The future seemed clouded by a dense fog, but light would eventually shine through and clear the way. He and Annie had prayed about the choices they were making, and they’d asked God to give them strength on their journey.
“Guess I should go.” Jacob picked up both suitcases. Even though public affection was frowned upon, the feel of Annie’s arm looped through his comforted his soul. It had been hard to say good-bye to his parents and Hannah this morning. He promised to write and call as often as he could. Charlotte had insisted he keep the phone she’d given him, but he planned to pay her back as soon as he got on his feet.
They stepped out onto the sidewalk where buses were loading, and Jacob turned to Annie. “The bus for Pittsburgh leaves soon.” He set down the suitcases and rubbed his tired, swollen eyes. His eyelids were suddenly as heavy as his heart, but today was not a day for sissy-boy crying. He’d done enough of that the day before. He turned to Annie, closed his eyes, and kissed her with all the love in his heart.
“Pittsburgh isn’t all that far,” she said softly as she cupped his face.
Jacob felt eyes on them. The eyes of gaping tourists getting their first glimpses of the Amish people as they stepped off buses unloading nearby. And the locals were probably wondering about such brazenness from a young Amish couple. Jacob didn’t care.
“I love you with all my heart.” Jacob kissed her again.
“I’ll wait for you.”
Jacob didn’t want to leave the comfort of her arms, but he needed to get his head right before he’d be good for anyone. His mind was filled with the desire to learn, but it wasn’t just book-smarts he was seeking. He wanted to know about the world and the people in it firsthand. He felt the Lord leading him to something, and he was committed to following through.
“I will write and call as much as I can.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again.
Annie gazed up at him. “You frustrate me more than anyone I’ve ever know
n. But I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I want you. And I want you happy. Because when Jacob King has his head on straight, he is the most wonderful man in the world.”
“I love you,” he said again before one last kiss.
“And I love you.”
Jacob picked up his two suitcases and forced his feet to walk toward the bus loading passengers for Pittsburgh.
Daniel shut his bedroom door and called Charlotte.
“How’s everything at the King household?” he asked after she answered.
“Well, I guess okay. I heard Lena crying in her bedroom earlier. I know this is so hard on them, Jacob leaving. How’s Annie?”
“Better than I thought she would be. She and Jacob have talked a lot, and they seem to have reached some sort of peace about everything.” He lowered the flame on his lantern and got under the covers. “I’ll check on your house tomorrow on the way to work. Are you sure you don’t want me to change the locks?”
Charlotte sighed. “No, not yet. No one has damaged the property or anything. Let’s just wait. That’s the original hardware, those knobs. I don’t want to replace them unless I absolutely have to.” She was quiet for a few moments. “I hope it’s not kids, runaways or something.”
Daniel knew Charlotte’s childhood hadn’t been rosy, but she’d never shared details with him. Daniel was glad they were having a normal, easy conversation. He’d wondered if they’d be able to after their awkward chat at the diner. He cleared his throat.
“By the way, Annie did set us up. She has it in her mind that we should be more than friends.” He forced himself to chuckle, an attempt to keep things light, even though his heart was beating faster. Charlotte had to know he was reaching out to her, trying to find out if she wanted to spend time with him in person. It was dangerous and stupid, but Daniel couldn’t seem to stop the comment from rolling off his tongue. “I told her we already had that talk and why it would be, um—a disaster on so many levels, I think you said.”
Charlotte lay on top of her covers with a hand behind her head and her ankles crossed. As she wiggled one foot back and forth, she tried to sort out the whirlwind of thoughts going through her mind. Yes, it would be a disaster. More upset for Daniel’s family if things between her and Daniel edged into more than a friendship. But he was clearly trying to feel her out about it, or he wouldn’t have brought it up.
“Maybe disaster was too strong a word.” She squeezed her eyes closed and flinched, knowing she shouldn’t encourage him. “It’s not only because I’m not Amish.” Although that’s certainly a large part of the mix. She sighed. “I was seeing a counselor in Houston. Ryan paid for it.” Embarrassing. “I guess he thought I had enough problems to warrant the sessions. But over the course of my therapy, it became clear to me that I’m carrying a lot of baggage from my childhood. I thought that if everything was good between me and Ryan, I could block out all that other stuff. But I think a good therapist has a way of dragging things to the surface. I feel like I need to fix myself before I’ll be good for anyone.” Her eyes widened. “Wow. I’m not sure I even realized that until right now.” And it was the truth, another good reason why she and Daniel shouldn’t take things to the next level. She heard laughter from outside. “I hear Hannah and Isaac outside, and I’m glad to hear Hannah laughing. She was pretty upset about Jacob earlier.”
Daniel was quiet.
“You still there?”
“Ya. I’m here.”
“Uh-oh. Did I say too much? Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the counseling. I promise I’m not crazy or anything. Just broken, I guess.” She realized that Daniel’s opinion of her mattered more than she’d known. In the darkness, she could only make out the shadows in her room, much like the thoughts in her head. Nothing was easy to see. She turned up the flame on the lantern by her bed and sat up. Crossing her legs beneath her, she waited.
“Nee, you didn’t say too much.”
And?
“And I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re complicated, but in a gut way.”
She smiled. “You get what you see, remember? I’m not sure that makes me complicated. I think you’re going to need to elaborate on that.”
“Hmm . . . okay. Here is what I see. You refer to yourself as broken. But I see you as seasoned. You think you have trust issues. But I see your heart on your sleeve. I see the way you help others, even if it means sacrifices for yourself. Those are all good things.”
Charlotte brought a hand to her chest and waited.
“What makes you complicated is that you don’t think you deserve happiness, and I can’t think of anyone more deserving. I feel like God has His hand on you and is touching you in ways you don’t completely understand.”
“I didn’t grow up as a faithful child of God. Last time I was here, in Lancaster County, I found God and invited Him into my life.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “He has bulldozed His way into my life and heart, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. And yes, sometimes I do feel undeserving of His love and acceptance.”
“It’s unconditional, Charlotte—God’s love. None of us are deserving, but God’s love is like a deep well that never dries up. There are no droughts where the Lord is concerned. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
“I have been asking God to show me the way, but sometimes I feel like I’m in a tunnel, wondering if there’s any light at the end.” She reached for a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m not sure He is hearing me. When does peace come?”
“On God’s time frame.”
Daniel offered to pray with Charlotte, and as she bowed her head, she thanked God . . . for Daniel.
Annie put a hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp. “You’re where? Is it a safe place?” she whispered from her dark bedroom.
“Listen to how it happened,” Jacob said. “I was standing on the sidewalk, not far from the bus station. There was a motel with a flashing light that said twenty-two dollars for the night. I felt like the luckiest guy ever to find a room for that price. I was just about to take advantage of my good luck when a man came up to me and said he didn’t think that motel was somewhere I should stay. He was dressed all in black and had stepped out of a black car by the curb, a real long car with tinted windows.”
“Were you scared?”
“I was hungry.”
Annie rolled her eyes but grinned. “What happened?”
“I told him I was trying to be careful with my money, and I asked him what was wrong with this place. He was old, like mei daed’s age. He was dressed real nice in Englisch clothes, but he had some gray hair and wrinkles. I didn’t wear suspenders or my straw hat, but maybe my clothes and haircut gave me away. He asked if I was Amish. I said I was. Then he handed me a fancy business card, all black with gold writing. He told me to go three blocks up the road, to check into that hotel, and to tell them the big rabbit sent me.”
“The big rabbit?”
“Ya, weird, huh? I thought about waiting until he left and just going on into the cheap motel, but he waited, even offered me a ride.”
“Please tell me you didn’t take a ride from a strange Englisch man in a car with windows you can’t see through.” Annie squeezed her eyes closed and said more prayers that the Lord would keep Jacob safe.
“Well, I wasn’t going to, but my suitcases were heavy and he seemed okay.”
Annie shook her head and waited.
“Anyway, he dropped me at the hotel, a really, really big hotel, Annie. And he told me again to tell them the big rabbit sent me. I thanked him and got out. So I walked into this place called the Omni William Penn Hotel. Annie, I ain’t ever seen anything like this place in my life, even on television. I think famous or royal people must stay here.”
Annie was quiet.
“I walked up to a long counter with several people standing behind it. I went to where a woman stood behind the counter, and I felt so dumb, but I said the big rabbit sent me.
She narrowed her eyebrows at me, frowned, and said, ‘Excuse me?’ Then I got scared, figuring the man had done me dirty or something. I didn’t know what to do. But then another man who was near her walked to her side and asked me what I’d said. Still feeling dumb, I said it again.”
Annie took in a deep breath as she listened.
“Next thing I know, a man in a fancy black suit is picking up my suitcases and taking me to an elevator. We went to the fourth floor, and he opened my door and carried in my suitcases.” Jacob laughed out loud. “He told me to order anything I wanted from room service, and when I asked how much that would cost, he said it was free.” Jacob chuckled again. “And you should see this room . . .”
Annie listened as Jacob described his fancy hotel room. She was glad he wasn’t sad or sounding desperate and afraid. And she’d agreed to give him some time to sort out his thoughts to see where things stood with them. But this attraction to such fanciness was not their way, not at all.
He was going on about all the things in the room. The big television, small refrigerator, bar, desk, computer for his use, phone—the list went on and on. “Why would this man do this for you? He’s a stranger. I don’t understand.”
“Maybe he’s an angel,” Jacob said, chattering more about the room. “When the man in the suit left, he said I could stay here as long as I want. For free.”
“I don’t understand,” she said again.
“This is my path, Annie. God led this kind man to me to make sure I had food and shelter. It’s like a miracle. I was worried about how long my money would last, but now I have a free place to stay while I look for a job. Isn’t that great?”
Annie thought about the awful shape Jacob had been in before he left. Now he was the happiest man in the world. His moods shifted from one extreme to another. And more often than the moods of anyone she’d ever known. He’d always been like that, but the past couple of months, his moods seemed more extreme.
“I’m a blessed man,” Jacob said softly.
Annie wasn’t so sure. In the pit of her stomach was a rumbling of nerves that told her something just wasn’t right.