by Jeanne Lin
He listened as Li Feng recounted the same story, but from a different perspective. The prefect had tried to force himself on her mother and her father had intervened. It was possible. He knew nothing of Prefect Guan’s character other than that he was in hiding. He could have easily coerced his servants to testify to his version. But where was the truth? Somewhere in between. But there was one thing Han did know.
‘Your brother is a killer. He’s dangerous to everyone around him, including you.’
She wouldn’t answer.
He pressed on. ‘Vengeance won’t resolve anything.’
‘This isn’t about resolution,’ she replied coldly. ‘It’s about a debt that needs to be paid. You have to understand. We were left with nothing, nothing but fear and anger. He turned to thieving and violence, but I’m not so different.’
‘He’s lost to you,’ Han said.
Li Feng fell silent. Han knew he was fighting a battle he could not win. Han tried to put himself in her brother’s place, into the mind of a son who could do nothing but stand by while his father was put to death.
‘We only have until morning before I have to go,’ Li Feng said finally. ‘Let’s not waste our time arguing.’
The earth would have to open up before he accepted that.
Han pulled her closer and pressed his mouth to hers desperately. She returned the kiss with equal desperation. He could already feel her slipping from his grasp.
He broke this kiss abruptly. ‘That only means I have until morning to convince you,’ he said, his voice rough.
‘Hao Han.’ She touched a hand to his cheek. There was sadness in her eyes.
‘I won’t let you go.’
He didn’t take her then, though he wanted to. He would lose himself inside of her and she would sigh and shudder against him. Then she would forget. And he would forget. But by morning, she would still be gone. He had made the mistake before of assuming that her acceptance of his body inside her was an acceptance of him.
Instead he took her face in his hands. He wanted all of her, not just her cries of pleasure in the dark.
‘I know what sort of men your brother has surrounded himself with. You don’t belong with them.’
‘It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been among outlaws.’
She had previously mentioned Wang Shizhen and the rebels she had been involved with. With every word he was losing ground.
* * *
By the end of the double-hour, the oil lamp had burned out, leaving them in darkness. The restaurant above them was finally silent. Han was on his back with Li Feng beside him, her head on his shoulder. He was out of arguments, but at least she was still there with him. That had to mean something.
The night was ending so differently from how it had begun. Though her warm weight moulded to him, though he could feel the soft fan of her breath against his neck, the passion between them had receded into a quiet resignation. He was even afraid to hold her, as if she were a fragile shell ready to break. So they lay together at an impasse, unable to see one another, but feeling every shift and sigh with a heightened awareness.
He was not ready to give up.
‘Tell me about Two Dragon Lo again,’ she said sleepily.
With all that was happening around them, she wanted to talk about that old tale? ‘That story is told too often as it is.’
‘You don’t like speaking of him.’
‘Thunder and lightning split the sky with every strike of our swords,’ he said, resigned.
‘We’re lovers now,’ she chided. ‘Indulge me’
He ran his hand along her arm. ‘What do you want to know?’
‘What was he like?’
‘Like?’
‘Was he clever? Cruel? Did he ambush you?’
He was taken aback. Everyone wanted him to talk about the notorious battle, but no one seemed to care who Lo had been behind the legend.
‘He was an educated man. More so than me.’
‘Educated? I’ve never heard that before.’
He liked the way she sounded, so soft and close. They were nothing but two voices with no pasts between them. He wasn’t a thief-catcher and she wasn’t a sword dancer. He could be completely honest with her.
‘He took the imperial exams several times, but never passed.’
‘You could tell that from a swordfight?’ she asked, incredulous.
There were legends of great warrior-scholars who could read an opponent’s entire soul in how he wielded his sword. Han could tell a lot about someone from how they fought. He had recalled his first match with Li Feng countless times, reliving the memory over and over. In this case, the answer wasn’t so ephemeral.
‘We spoke. Over wine,’ he replied.
He had been tracking Two Dragon Lo, but believed he was still far from the bandit’s lair. He had reached a remote drinking pavilion in the mountains and stopped to rest. Another traveller had happened by as well. It seemed untoward to sit at different tables, so they shared wine. The stranger had knowledge of classics, of history, of poetry. Han was so accustomed to dealing with the lowest of society that the discussion reawakened an ember within him. He called for more wine.
Eventually they came to the topic of law. Han’s studies had ended at the age of fifteen, so he was lacking in all those other areas. But in this topic, he was able to at least provide some lively debate.
‘We disagreed on everything,’ he told Li Feng. ‘But the stranger had such well-formed arguments and he was passionate about them. The way Father would be whenever he lectured us over dinner. I was certain I had stumbled upon some wandering scholar.’
‘What’s your name?’ he had asked the stranger. He was ready to concede defeat in the debate and drink to his opponent’s honour.
‘I had another name where I came from, but now everyone calls me Lo.’
‘He finished his wine, but from the look he gave me as he set the cup down, I was certain he had known the entire time who I was.’
Li Feng held completely still as she considered his story. ‘He came to challenge you.’
‘I don’t know for certain.’
‘Were you frightened?’
He placed his lips against her hair. She smelled like rain. ‘Yes,’ he answered. ‘Two Dragon Lo deserved to die.’ He’d told her the same thing once before and he still believed it, but there was one thing that he’d never admitted to anyone. ‘I didn’t want to kill him.’
‘You’ve killed men before Lo.’
He nodded in the darkness, but she seemed to know his answer.
‘Then why regret his death?’
‘I don’t.’
She was silent after that, which meant she didn’t believe him.
‘He wanted you to be the one to kill him,’ she said.
‘That’s not true. Lo didn’t come to surrender. He fought with everything he had.’
‘You didn’t hear me correctly.’ Li Feng drew a senseless character over his chest. ‘He didn’t want to die, but he wanted you to be the one to kill him.’
He tried to bring back the last moments of the battle. It was grey outside the pavilion. All Han remembered was the killing stroke. Lo was on his knees. Han was also bruised, bleeding. His last blow had torn into the bandit’s shoulder and Lo’s weapon was gone. His hands were stained with blood and dirt. Han’s shadow had fallen over him and Lo had looked up with eyes that were unblinking. Han ended it quickly after that.
What he didn’t realise until after the battle was that Lo had studied the sword the way a gentleman studied. His technique was centred on perfecting sword forms which were intertwined with symbolism and philosophy. He was proficient with the sword, even skilled. But Han, the failed scholar, had been trained as a soldier. He’d fought for his life against murderers, smugglers and rebels—desperate men with nothing to lose. His skill had been earned through survival.
‘I don’t know why I won,’ Han confessed.
This was the mystery of war and battle. Was
it truly valour that determined who walked from the battlefield alive?
‘You weren’t the only one hunting him. There must have been others.’
‘The provincial army was preparing to move against him. After his death, they raided his lair and his gang was apprehended.’
‘Then Two Dragon Lo would have been beheaded as a traitor,’ she pointed out.
It was a trial by ordeal, an ancient tradition that he and Lo had even debated over wine. If Lo had defeated him, the bandit leader would have considered it a sign that it wasn’t his time and continued on with his rebellion until the next opponent came along.
‘I never considered that Lo wanted to die as a gentleman.’
‘He wanted to choose his own death,’ she concluded.
The world of rivers and lakes glorified honourable death just as it made heroes out of rebels and outlaws. Han didn’t like the dark turn of the conversation or Li Feng’s fascination with this underworld.
‘Don’t go, Li Feng.’ He couldn’t make it any plainer.
‘There is no other way.’
She started to move away, but he reached out to take hold of her hand.
‘There is.’ He could be just as stubborn as she was. ‘I already spoke of it. Stay with me. We’ll find a place where we can start a new life.’
‘And both give up the thing we’ve longed for the most? You would turn back around long before I would.’
‘You’re not making sense,’ he said impatiently. ‘What would I be giving up? I’m a thief-catcher, Li Feng. A man with a sword and nothing else. This isn’t a life.’
‘Hao Han.’ There was a bitter hint of laughter in her voice. ‘You don’t really think that?’
‘We’re better together,’ he said fiercely. ‘Do you remember the salt village? It felt right with you at my side, step for step, planning every move together.’
‘Shortly before I abandoned you,’ she reminded him.
‘Li Feng.’ He sighed. There was nothing he could say to sway her.
‘I remember the look in your eyes when you discovered the salt-smuggling ring. You looked so determined, so intent on setting things right and seeing wrongdoers punished. It was the look of someone who had found their rightful place. I’ve never felt that certain about anything.’ She sounded almost envious. ‘That is what you cannot leave behind.’
He tried to form an argument, to find some weakness in her attack, but there was none. He stared up into blackness, letting her description of him sink in. Li Feng was right. He would never take the imperial exams or serve as magistrate, but he was trying to uphold the ideal of justice the only way he could. The same ideal his father had upheld.
She spoke again. ‘You must have felt the same as you hunted down Two Dragon Lo. You were doing what you were meant to do.’
On this point, she was wrong. He had never felt more lost than when he had faced the bandit Lo. ‘None of this convinces me we cannot be.’
‘This is fate without destiny,’ she said.
‘No. It isn’t.’
Li Feng sighed and shifted against his side, as if seeking out a more comfortable spot before settling back again. Her hair tickled against his cheek, but he didn’t brush it away.
‘Sleep now,’ she urged. ‘Let things be peaceful between us for once.’
He couldn’t sleep, but he did remain silent as she grew soft and heavy against him. He didn’t have to ask Li Feng about what she longed for most. She had listened to the stories of his family, of strangers she had never met, with such wistfulness.
His arm tightened about her possessively, his thoughts not at all peaceful. Li Feng dreamed of reclaiming the family she had lost, but what Han wanted most was her.
Chapter Fourteen
Han didn’t know how long they had slept, but in the still hours of the night, he woke enough to reach out for Li Feng and pull her beneath him. His body was more awake than his mind was as he kissed her. She responded sleepily, her mouth slow and sweet against his.
The room was completely black. He moved on touch alone, his hands caressing over her shoulders, finding her breasts and letting the shape of them fill his palms. Her breath deepened as he stroked her nipples, her back arching slightly to him. Her head was still clouded with dreams, yet his body aroused and gripped with an urgency that traced back to the last of their conversation.
He whispered to her. ‘Is this—?’
‘Yes.’
Their hands moved between one other, shifting layers of cloth aside. He positioned his hips on either side of her, felt her damp flesh beneath his fingertips and entered into her. A sound of surrender escaped from her throat and he laid his head on to her breast in surrender, his mouth pressed against her throat as the heat of her flesh accepted and enclosed him.
He thought there could be nothing better than this moment when their bodies finally joined, but he was wrong. Her legs curved around him, deepening his penetration into her and making him groan. How could she be so intent upon leaving when every part of them fit so perfectly together?
He thrust slowly, not trusting himself to move any quicker. Li Feng dug her fingers into his hair, dragging his mouth to her with tender violence as her pleasure deepened. Too soon, his climax rushed upon him. His control slipped away as he pushed himself feverishly into her.
As the rush of blood through him subsided, he could hear the pant of Li Feng’s breath. In the blindness of release, he had no knowledge of whether she had reached her peak, but she still clung to him. Every muscle within her vibrated with tension.
Lethargically, he reached between their bodies. She gasped, her flesh contracting around him as he found the pulse point of her sex. He stroked with his fingertips and she arched gratefully against him, her hands digging into the muscle of his shoulders.
He felt clumsy and graceless as he willed her towards her own release, but he needed her to feel this now. With him.
Soon her breath caught and she shuddered before her limbs finally relaxed, going as pliant as wax. The joining of bodies was something corporeal and primal. It wasn’t enough to convince her of anything, but why couldn’t it be?
Han stayed up for a while afterwards, listening to the sounds Li Feng made in her sleep. She shifted restlessly on the pallet, back and forth. He reached out to stroke her brow and it seemed to calm her. What did she dream of? Did she leap and fly over walls even in her sleep?
Finally he did fall asleep again.
When he woke, he had that unsettling feeling of not knowing whether ten minutes had passed or an hour. He reached his hand out blindly and met nothing but emptiness.
‘Hao Han.’
Relief flooded him. Li Feng was still there.
He turned and propped himself up, his limbs still awkward and heavy upon waking. She had lit a candle, the light framing her in a tiny orb. Her face was set with deep shadows. She was already dressed.
Her voice cut through the fog in his head. He was still caught in the memory of their last joining.
‘I was going to leave while you were sleeping, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. But now that I’ve seen you to say farewell, I think I can do it.’
‘Li Feng—’
She extinguished the light and he could hear the sweep of the curtain as she left.
The death of all things. He cursed as he fumbled for his clothing.
Was it morning? Was it night? He dragged on his robe in the dark and staggered towards the stairs. Only when he left the cellar did he discover that it was indeed morning. The kitchen was stirring with activity and when he pushed out the back door into the alley, the light outside was grey.
The lane was despondently deserted. He swung his gaze upwards to the rooftops. Also empty. Li Feng had the advantage on him and she could move through a city like the east wind. It would be impossible to catch her, but he had to try.
Han scoured through the hidden alleyways first and then roamed the streets in a final, futile effort. As the city gong sounded the sixth hour
, he was still empty-handed, standing dishevelled as the market crowd surrounded him.
He ran a hand roughly over his chin, reassessing. He’d wasted too much time. If he couldn’t find Li Feng, then he had to find her brother. Liu Yuan was bent on revenge and the only way to keep Li Feng safe was to stop him.
Han set out towards the yamen. Before entering the gate, he ran a hand over his robe in an attempt to straighten his appearance. He located Magistrate Tan’s office, requested an audience and was informed that the official was overseeing the morning tribunal. He would be finished at the end of the double-hour.
Han waited impatiently in the main courtyard on a bench, taking in the offices and administrative halls that surrounded the space. His father had meant for him to serve in such a place as a ranking official.
A steady stream of petitioners had entered the hall of justice. Occasionally, he had seen a prisoner being led in restraints to be brought before the tribunal. After what appeared like a busy morning, the tribunal had adjourned and Han was summoned into the inner offices.
‘Thief-catcher Han!’ Magistrate Tan welcomed him eagerly into his study. He sat down behind his desk.
‘Sir, I have information regarding the bandits responsible for murdering Guan’s steward.’
‘So soon! I knew you would not disappoint.’
The easy praise made him a little uncomfortable. ‘The bandits are hiding in the hills just north of the city. I encountered eight or nine of them, but there could be more.’
‘Well, they must be eradicated for the safety of our city,’ the magistrate said with resolve, but then let out a sigh. ‘However, our constable isn’t prepared to confront so many. And with the city guards protecting the prefect, there’s hardly enough men to protect the streets. Now, if someone had experience with bringing in such undesirables.’ Magistrate Tan regarded Han expectantly.
He was too involved to retreat now. ‘The area is spread out and there are many places to hide. We’ll need to send out several parties, but keep in close contact. How many volunteers does the constable currently employ?’
Tan looked quite satisfied. ‘Not enough, but I trust you can find good, capable men for the task. I’ll bring in Constable Guo immediately.’