That woke him, all right! His eyes snapped open to gaze straight into sleepy, dark eyes that struck him as far more troubled than they ought to be after such an incredible night.
“You’re looking mighty serious,” he said, brushing Janet’s hair back over her shoulders so he could drink his fill of the sight of those rose-tipped breasts. The peaks pebbled at once, even under such an off-hand caress. He might have lingered longer, intensified his touch, had Janet’s gaze not seemed so fraught with worry.
“Regrets?” he asked.
“None,” she swore.
Harlan wasn’t convinced. “You sure?”
“I could never regret what happened between us last night,” she said more firmly.
Though he was still doubtful, he decided he’d just have to take her at her word. “Then I think we ought to talk about making it permanent.”
This time there was no mistaking the alarm that flared in her eyes.
“No,” she whispered, touching a finger to his lips. “Please, don’t say any more.”
He couldn’t take rejection so easily, not when he had his heart set on spending his future with this woman, not when he knew without a trace of doubt that deep inside that was what she wanted, too. He suspected he even knew what was preventing her from accepting his proposal.
“You don’t even want me saying that I love you?” he said, keeping his tone light. “You don’t want to hear that I won’t settle for anything less than making you my wife, not after last night?”
A tear slid slowly down her cheek, even as she declined his proposal for a second time.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“Of course you can,” he insisted just as adamantly. “There’s nothing to stop you, except some foolish willfulness on your part.”
He knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that they had been exactly the wrong thing to say. Whatever she was struggling with—and he was certain now that he knew what it was—he shouldn’t have dismissed it as foolish or willful. A milewide stubborn streak would kick in over words like that. His own certainly would have.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” he apologized at once.
“No,” she said stiffly, retreating as far from him in the bed as she could and surrounding herself with layers of covers despite the room’s more than comfortable temperature. “You shouldn’t have.”
Because he needed time to rein in his temper, Harlan stood and searched for his pants. When he’d yanked them on, he returned to sit opposite her on the edge of the bed.
“Can we discuss this?”
“I don’t see why you’d want to,” she said dully.
“Because this is too important for you to leap to a snap decision that could affect the rest of both of our lives, to say nothing of Jenny’s,” he explained, fighting to keep his tone even. “You know I care for her as if she were one of my own. You also know I’ve been a good influence on her.”
She shot him a stubborn scowl. “I’m not going to get married again because Jenny needs a father.”
“Then how about because you need a husband who loves you, almost as much as I need a wife who’ll make me feel alive the way you did in this bed last night, the way you have every day since we met? Can you deny you felt the same way?”
“No, of course not. I would never lie to you about something that important,” she told him. “But I came here to find myself. You’re such a strong man. From all I’ve heard, your first wife doted on you. You were her first and only priority. I’m afraid I’d turn out to be just like her, that I’d lose myself in being Mrs. Harlan Adams, rather than Janet Runningbear, a Comanche lawyer in search of her roots.”
“It’s the last that’s important, isn’t it?” he said, experiencing the bitter taste of defeat in his mouth. “It’s this thing you have about your great-grandfather.”
Her gaze narrowed. “What if it is?”
“Why don’t you tell me what really brought you to Texas?” he commanded.
Her gaze faltered. “I’ve told you a hundred different ways,” she said. “You haven’t been listening.”
“You want to know what I hear? I hear you denying yourself a future you want because of some crazy notion that won’t ever pan out the way you want it to.”
She frowned at that. “Don’t be so certain of that, Harlan. There’s very little I can’t accomplish if I set my mind to it. I won’t let you or my feelings for you stand in my way. I can’t allow that to happen. I will never be like Mary, so you might as well accept that and move on.”
It was quite likely the only argument she might have made that he didn’t have a ready answer for. Words were too easy for a fear like that, especially when he couldn’t deny that Mary had given up a part of herself the day she became his wife.
He resigned himself to taking a little time to show Janet that that had been Mary’s choice, not his. He was ready and eager to have a strong and independent woman at his side. He was no young kid who’d mistake independence of spirit with a lack of love.
Patience, unfortunately, was not one of his virtues. More, he suspected that that would solve only part of the problem. Janet was still struggling with her conscience over her desire to get her hands on the land that she felt had belonged to her ancestors.
Until she could tell him about that herself, until they could work it through together, it would always stand between them and happiness. She’d almost said the words a moment ago, he was sure of it, but something had kept her silent. Whether it was fear of his reaction or a desire not to hurt him, he couldn’t be sure.
“Okay,” he said eventually. “I’ll let it slide for now, if I must.”
He walked around to the other side of the bed where she still sat huddled under the covers. He determinedly tucked a finger under her chin and tilted her face up until their eyes clashed.
“But I won’t give up on us. I’ll pester you until you see what I see, that we belong together.”
A clearly reluctant smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “That ought to scare the hell out of me,” she said, then gave a little shrug of resignation. “But for some crazy reason, it doesn’t.”
“That’s because you know I’m right,” he said with satisfaction.
“I do not,” she insisted.
“Argue all you want, but the end result will still be the same,” he informed her. “Now get dressed so we can sneak back to White Pines before the whole gang figures out we’re missing.”
“It would serve you right,” she muttered as she strolled off to the shower. “You’re the one they’d taunt unmercifully. They’re very polite to me.”
“They won’t be, once they know you’re going to be family.”
“I am not going to be...” she shouted, then sighed audibly. “Oh, never mind.”
Harlan grinned as the bathroom door slammed behind her. Yes, indeed, no matter what she thought, no matter what kind of struggle she put up, it was only a matter of time.
* * *
Facing the entire Adams clan around the breakfast table—except for the youngest babies, who were being watched upstairs—was a heck of a lot more intimidating than their first meeting had been, Janet decided after several awkward minutes ticked by. Their fascinated gazes kept shifting from her to Harlan and back again. Only Jenny and the older grandchildren seemed oblivious to the undercurrents. Their unrestrained chatter was all that made the situation bearable.
The minute everyone had finished eating, Harlan said, “I had Consuela’s brother put up the wading pool out back. Jenny, why don’t you take the little ones out to play in that and keep an eye on them?”
Jenny surveyed him speculatively. “My usual rates?”
“Yes, you little entrepreneur,” he said with contradictory fondness. “I’ll pay you your usual rates.”
“Great! I’ll be able
to buy more CDs, if we ever get to a town with a decent music store,” she said with a pointed look in Janet’s direction.
“Maybe next weekend,” Janet replied distractedly. She was too worried about the inquisitive expressions on Cody’s, Jordan’s and Luke’s faces to pay much attention to Jenny’s normal grumbling about the lack of shopping in Los Piños.
The reply seemed to satisfy her daughter, because she took off readily with the younger children.
“Well?” Luke said, his gaze fixed on his father.
Harlan tried to stare him down. “Well, what?”
“Isn’t there something you two want to tell us?”
“No,” Harlan and Janet replied in chorus.
Luke and Jessie exchanged a look filled with amusement that was promptly caught by the others.
“You know something, don’t you?” Cody guessed. “Come on, big brother, share.”
Harlan’s gaze narrowed. “I don’t know what you think you know, Lucas,” he said, “but if you’ve got any decency in you, you’ll keep it to yourself.”
“He has a point,” Jessie said, laughter dancing in her eyes. “I mean, we don’t know for sure where they were going when they went sneaking off in the middle of the night.”
Janet groaned and buried her face in her hands, sure that her complexion must be a fiery shade of red. “That’s it. I’m out of here,” she declared, shoving her chair back and practically racing from the room.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Harlan chided, sending his own chair scooting across the floor with a clatter. “When I get back, I want you out of here. Maybe the whole blasted lot of you ought to think about moving to Arizona or Montana, anywhere that’s far away from here.”
If she hadn’t been so embarrassed, Janet might have chuckled at his blustery tone. As it was, she just wanted to disappear herself. She was already outside when he caught up with her.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You know what big mouths they have. I told you so myself before we came back here this morning.”
“It’s not that,” she said miserably. “It’s just so sweet the way they tease you. I know they wouldn’t do that, if they didn’t want something to happen between you and me. I feel as if I’m letting all of you down.”
“Only for the moment,” he reminded her with that trace of stubbornness that proved he still hadn’t accepted that her no meant an emphatic no.
She lifted her chin and leveled a look straight into his eyes. “No, Harlan. Not just for the moment. I meant what I said back at my house. There is no future for us, not unless you mean it to be no more than friendship.”
“I won’t settle for that,” he said with surprisingly little rancor. She knew why when he added, “And in time, neither will you.”
14
Jenny’s presence was the only thing that gave Harlan any peace of mind at all in the days after Janet had fled from White Pines. The fact that she continued to turn up every morning reassured him that there was hope. It enabled him to be patient.
Not that the teenager had suddenly turned into a saint or even a staunch advocate of his relationship with her mother, but she was showing signs of weakening. Her belligerence was sported more for effect than any real attitude on her part. He decided one afternoon to call her on it.
She’d thrown a fit not an hour before over some inconsequential task he’d asked her to do. She’d saddled Misty after that and taken off. He guessed he’d find her at the creek.
Sure enough, she was sitting on the grassy bank, her bare feet dangling in the cool water.
“If you wanted to come down here, all you had to do was ask,” he said, dropping to the ground beside her.
She regarded him with disbelief. “You’d have let me come?”
“You know I would. You also know I would have come along. You just figured you ought to raise a ruckus so I wouldn’t get too used to the more mellow Jenny, isn’t that right?”
She slanted a look at him. “You think you’re pretty smart, don’t you?”
“I know I am. The question is, are you ready to admit it?”
She sighed heavily. “If you’re so smart, how come Mom’s dropping me off at the end of the lane again? It’s her idea this time,” she added, so there would be no mistake.
“Because she’s sorting through some things.”
“She’s behaving like a ninny, you mean.”
He grinned. “Is that what I mean?”
“Seems that way to me.” She met his gaze evenly. “Are you in love with her?”
“Don’t you think that’s between her and me?”
“Not if I have to live with her while you two are figuring things out. I think I deserve to know what’s going on.” She shot him a sly look. “I could help you, you know. Mom listens to me.”
Harlan hid a smile. “Is that so? What would your intercession on my behalf cost me?”
Jenny blinked. “Hey, wait a minute,” she protested. “That’s not the kind of thing I’d charge you for.”
“Then that would be a first,” he said dryly.
“Look, you don’t want my help, it’s no skin off my nose. You don’t seem to be doing so great on your own, though.”
“Trust me,” he said. “I can handle this without any help from you.” He studied her curiously. “But can I assume from what you’re saying that you would approve of your mother and me getting married?”
She looked reluctant to make that big an admission, but finally she shrugged. “I suppose it would be okay.”
He grinned. “Thanks for the endorsement.”
“Would it mean I could stop doing chores and get an allowance?”
“I doubt it.”
“Oh.” She regarded him intently. “But you would want me around, right?”
“You bet,” he said. “It’s definitely a package deal. You comfortable with having me as a stepdaddy?”
To his astonishment, Jenny shifted and threw her arms around his neck. She didn’t say a word, but the dampness of fresh tears on his neck told him all he needed to know. He had himself a daughter.
* * *
Janet was feeling besieged. Not by Harlan, bless his heart. To her surprise he was giving her all the space she’d claimed to crave. No, it was his family that wouldn’t leave her in peace.
Every son, every daughter-in-law made some excuse or another to pay a call, to proclaim all of Harlan’s virtues, to try to wheedle from her a reason for her reluctance to accept the proposal, which they had somehow discovered he’d made. She had the same answer for each of them: “Does your father know you’re here?”
And when the reply was consistently no, she suggested that they talk with him if they had questions about the relationship. “He knows why I won’t marry him,” she repeated over and over.
Unfortunately, Jessie wasn’t as easily dissuaded as the others. She popped in two weeks after that disgraceful scene Janet had caused by running out of the dining room at White Pines. The minute she’d walked through the door, she settled into a seat opposite Janet and showed no inclination at all to leave.
“I’m not going to talk about it,” Janet declared for what must have been the hundredth time, hoping just this once to stop any questions before they started.
Jessie nodded. “That’s understandable,” she soothed.
It was, perhaps, the hundredth time Janet had heard that, too. Everyone who’d dropped by had said the same thing, then proceeded to butt in just the same.
“It’s private,” Jessie added, indicating a deeper understanding than most.
“Exactly.”
“Harlan’s probably done more than enough bullying himself without the rest of us getting in on the act.”
“Precisely,” Janet said.
To her relief, Jessie appeared willing to give up. She even stood, to indicate an imminent
departure.
“Let’s go to Dolan’s and have a milk shake,” she suggested.
Janet blinked. “What?”
“A thick, chocolate milk shake,” Jessie added temptingly. “Come on. I never get anything like that at the ranch. Consuela’s a great cook, but lately she’s constantly worried about killing Luke with too much fat. There hasn’t been so much as a pint of ice cream in the house in months. I have to sneak over here to Los Piños to get a milk shake, if I want one.”
“And just this morning you decided you had a hankering for one and drove...what? Two hours? Three, just to get one?” Janet said skeptically, not believing for a minute that Jessie couldn’t have whipped one up right in her own kitchen if she’d really wanted to.
“It’s amazing the cravings that come on when a woman least expects them,” Jessie said. “Chocolate milk shakes...” Her expression turned innocent. “A man, same difference. Once the idea’s planted in your head, you might as well give in to it.”
That sneaky little reference to men triggered all of Janet’s alarm systems. “Are you suggesting that I should go ahead and marry Harlan, because he’s like some sort of addiction I won’t be able to break?”
Jessie regarded her with another innocent look. “I was talking about milk shakes. You’re the one who brought up marriage.” She tilted her head inquiringly. “Has it been on your mind a lot lately?”
“If I didn’t like you so much, I’d tell you to go fly a kite,” Janet muttered, but she stood. “As it is, though, now you’ve got me craving a milk shake, too. Let’s go.”
They walked down the block to Dolan’s Drugstore and headed for the counter. Melissa popped out of the store room. She’d worked there before her marriage to Cody and still filled in several days a week to keep from going stir-crazy on the ranch.
“Hey, you two, what brings you in in the middle of the morning?” Melissa asked. “Jessie, I didn’t know you were coming to Los Piños today.”
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