“I’m not sure if you’re really telling me the truth,” he blurts our after a moment’s hesitation. “We’ve known each other for so long now, Jenny. If you’re honest you’ve got to admit your story sounds hard to believe. First you start a fight with Robin during our rehearsal, next thing you quit the band, and the very next day you’re a member of ‘The Coldhearts’!”
I can’t believe what Martin’s saying! It’s so crazy. His distrust of me hurts, and even worse Emilia furrows her brow and stares at me, as if she believes him, and as if she doesn’t trust me any more than he does.
“You think I’ve made it all up?” I pause and take a deep breath, trying to recover from my shock, and trying to keep a tight grip on my temper, but it’s so hard! I begin to speak with a quiet intensity. “I don’t know how things look to you, Martin, but I’m not lying about anything! And as far as the fight with Robin’s concerned, he started it, remember?”
“Yes, but you were, like, putting out the fire with gasoline.” Martin sputters.
I shrug. “Well, I guess I finally got fed up with Robin.” I smile wryly and lock eyes with him. “He does have that effect on women, remember?”
Again, Martin drops his eyes. He can’t deny what I’ve said about Robin is true. He pauses for a moment, and then he looks up at me again.
“Anyway, so is it really true, you’re becoming ‘Jenny Coldheart’?”
I continue to regard him with cool detachment. “I’m not absolutely sure, Martin. They haven’t told me straight out they want me to join the band. We’ve only talked about me playing with them next Saturday. We had our first rehearsal today, and it went really well. There’s all kinds of chemistry between us.” And I remember playing their version of ‘Drive’ with them, and I smile. “They really seem to like me, but I don’t know if they want me as a permanent band member.”
“The way Bette was all over you on New Year’s Eve I’m sure she likes you,” Martin replies, angry again.
Again, his words hurt. And again I have to struggle to control my own temper. I take a deep breath and a moment to think before I say anything. Martin’s being an ass right now, but he’s my oldest friend, and means a lot to me. I don’t want the two of us to start screaming at one another the way Robin and I did. I don’t want our friendship to end.
“Martin, I know you’re unhappy about what’s happened, but you need to let it go. Everything I told you is the truth. And if I wanted to leave your band for whatever reason, it was my decision to make. And if ‘The Coldhearts’ want me to join their band, and I do decide to join them, that’ll be my decision to make, too. And you need to accept that.”
Conflicting emotions are playing over my old friend’s face. I can see he’s hurting, and I’m sorry about that, but I know what I’ve said is true, and something deep inside me tells me I’ve done the right thing. I look at Emilia, but her face doesn’t give away her emotions.
A long silence follows, and I’m the one who finally breaks it. “What are you guys going to do about the band?” I ask Martin.
He takes a deep breath, before he replies. “Marlon and I are going to have to talk about it. Robin’s a really good drummer, but he’s an asshole, especially where girls are concerned.” Martin smiles a bit, and he glances at Maria, and his smile becomes warmer. “Sweetheart, why don’t you tell Jenny what happened after she left our last rehearsal?”
Maria clears her throat, obviously feeling self-conscious. “Well, you know how things were last Friday night. Andrea was falling apart, and I was trying to comfort her, even though I don’t know her that well yet. She told me about how Robin was always cheating on her, and how he treated her like shit in general.” She glances at me and shrugs. “She was just starting to calm down a little, and then we heard you and Robin screaming at each other. We were both so shocked at the things you two said.”
She shakes her head and smiles at me ruefully, and I smile back at her.
“Then you and Emilia stormed out of the rehearsal room, and you looked pretty upset, and yelled at Andrea to break up with that misogynist and homophobe. And then Martin followed you, and ran out the door after you.” Maria suddenly grins.
“And then Andrea jumped up, and she ran into the rehearsal room, with me running after her the way Martin ran after you. She ran right up to Robin, and told him that – to use her words – that she’d had enough of his shit, and that she was kicking him to the curb!”
She starts giggling and I do, too. “You can just imagine how pissed he was! I don’t want to repeat what he said about you in particular, or even think about it!” She shudders, but she’s shaking with laughter, too.
And then I suddenly lose it. I double over laughing, and I laugh till I cry. Finally, I manage to straighten up and look at Maria. “Andrea really did that?”
Maria grins at me, and nods, biting her lips to keep from giggling again.
“Oh Maria, that was so fucking badass of her! She’ll be so much better off without an asshole for a boyfriend.”
Maria nods firmly in agreement.
“So, Jenny, you see it’s been an insane twenty-four hours for all of us,” Martin resumes, and I nod and grin at him.
“Like I said I’ll talk to Marlon about what to do next.” He shrugs. “Maybe we’ll keep Robin as a drummer, because he really is good.” He smiles wryly. “Of course, if we do that, we obviously can’t go on as a female-fronted metal band.”
“You’re absolutely right, Martin.” I sigh and relax, and then I smile at him. “You know, without you, I’d never even thought about playing in a band at all?”
Martin smiles back me, and this time it reaches his eyes.
“You’ve been such a good friend to me. You’re my best friend ever!” I can’t help but get up and pull him into a tight hug. When I let go of him, he’s beaming at me.
“You’re my best friend, too, Blackie, even though it’s never been easy with you.” He sighs, and for a split second he seems to remember the many times he had to save my ass. “And you’re right, you have a perfect right to make your own decisions.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks at me earnestly. “I just hope it’s the right decision for you.”
I nod, suddenly enthusiastic. “I think it is! We were great together today. And the girls aren’t the crazy bitches you might think they are! They can actually be quite nice.”
Martin winks, and sighs, then glances at Maria. “Well, I think we had better go now. It’s late, sweetheart,” he says to his girlfriend. Maria nods and looks at him adoringly. She gets up from the sofa, and gives Emilia and me a big hug. And so does Martin.
“Will you two come to the gig next Saturday?” I ask Martin.
“Of course, Blackie. I wouldn’t want to miss your first performance with ‘The Coldhearts’.”
“Awwww, thanks, Martin, you’re the best.” Leaning in, I kiss his cheek. “And you too, Maria.” I kiss her as well.
They leave, and when the door closes behind them I’m finally alone with Emilia. She’s been remarkably silent since I came home. I close the distance between us, and look into her pretty eyes. “Why have you been so silent, Emi? What is it?”
After hesitating a moment, she blurts out. “You know, Jen, they want you, and not just as their bass player. We both know that.”
Her tone tells me everything I need to know. I take her sweet face in both of my hands, and gaze into her eyes seriously. “You don’t have to worry, Emi, I love you.” And I mean what I say I love Emilia. I smile wryly. “And believe me, one thing I learned from Sherinia is that love matters more than sex.”
Emilia finally flashes her beautiful smile, and I lean forward and fold her into my arms, and kiss her gently. Our kiss goes on and on, until it becomes more than just tender. It becomes passionate. We have to pause, out of breath.
“Let’s go to my apartment,” I say, “my bed is made already. We can clean up here tomorrow.”
Emilia nods and smiles radiantly.
CHAPTER 6
– AN EPIC PERFORMANCE
“Okay, ‘Jet-Black Jenny’, turn around for me, and show me that sexy ass of yours!”
I have to laugh when Bette calls me by her new nickname for me, and rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I do.
It’s Monday evening, and I’m back at ‘The Coldhearts’ place for our next rehearsal. We’ve taken a break, and Bette is taking pictures of me with her digital camera. My band mates decided I needed some hotter things to wear for the photo shooting and onstage. Ina forgot to bring new clothes from her boutique, and so they found some things that used to belong to other girls, and I’m wearing them now. Nothing’s new, but everything looks new! My top is a black lace camisole that used to belong to one of Bette’s many girlfriends. It shows off the tattoos on my arms, which all of my new band mates love. The black jeans I have on came from one of Ina’s exes, and are just a little tighter than the ones I usually wear. And Caro’s old studded ankle boots have higher heels than the ones I usually wear, too. Everything fits me surprisingly well, but then Ina did ask me my shoe size and she also took my measurements. ‘The Coldhearts’ are all wildly enthusiastic about my new look, and after seeing myself in the full-length mirror in Ina’s bedroom, I’ve got to admit, I look pretty hot.
“You’ll look like a total rock goddess in your pictures, Jenny,” Nellie says. “Bette’s a really good photographer. Did you know she’s a freelance designer?”
“No, I didn’t know that,” I say, shaking my head.
Bette grins at me. “I keep surprising you, don’t I, Babe?”
“I’ve got to admit you do, Bette.” I smile back at her.
“Bette designed our website, Jenny,” Ina adds. “We’ll post some of your pictures on it. And on our social media accounts, on Twitter, and Instagram.”
“Do I get a say about which ones you use?” I ask, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed by the idea of becoming...famous? Even though only locally?
“Sure, Babe” Bette says. “But believe me, we’re gonna know which ones are going to be best.”
Nellie seems to sense my discomfort. “We can decide which pictures of Jenny are best some other time,” she says. “Jenny can’t stay too late, so we’d better get back to rehearsing.”
Nellie’s right. I have to catch the last bus at ten. Otherwise I won’t be able to get back home before tomorrow morning.
I used the CD Nellie gave me to practice the songs we played last time at home, and that’s one of the reasons this rehearsal goes even better than the first one did. I love playing with ‘The Coldhearts’! It feels so good; it feels so right. And the girls! I just love them! They’re all so funny, and so much fun to be with, and so gorgeous… But I also realize how often my eyes wander back to Nellie behind her drum kit. And whenever I look at her, she’s looking at me, too, and there’s always a little smile playing about her rosy lips.
Right after we finish another song, Nellie checks her watch and abruptly says, “We’d better stop now. It’s a quarter to ten. Jenny needs to catch her bus.”
I’d completely lost track of the time. I hurriedly put my bass into its case, pull my sweater over my head, and slip on my winter jacket. I look up, and discover that Bette’s staring out the front door of the old barn.
“I think you can take your time, Jenny. I don’t think your bus is going to be coming tonight! It looks like we’ve got twenty centimeters of snow on the ground, and it’s still coming down! They won’t clear the roads until early tomorrow morning.”
The rest of us join her at the front door and look out. Bette’s absolutely right. While we were playing, snow has blanketed the ground, and it’s still snowing now! I can hardly see the farmhouse from where I stand, and it’s only about thirty meters away.
“Oh my God, no! How am I going to get home?”
“There’s no way you can get back to the city tonight, Jenny,” Ina says matter-of-factly. You’ll have to spend the night here.”
“Don’t worry, we have a spare bedroom. The farmhouse is huge,” Nellie adds. “You should call Emilia and tell her what’s happened.”
My heart sinks. What’s Emilia going to think? She wasn’t thrilled about my becoming a member of ‘The Coldhearts’ anyway. And now a sleepover with these crazy horny girls?
Nellie seems to know what I’m thinking. “Don’t worry, she’ll understand.” She smiles at me reassuringly, and puts her hand on my shoulder. “She’ll want to have you home safe more than anything else. Now call her.”
I take my phone from my pocket, and speed dial Emilia’s number. She takes the call immediately. “Jenny, where are you? It’s awful outside. When are you going to come home, do you know?”
“Hi Emi. I’m still here at the band’s place. The snow looks even worse here! I don’t think I’ll be able to get home till they clear the roads tomorrow morning.”
“Oh Jenny, no,” Emilia sounds as desperate as I am.
“Don’t worry, Emi. They have a guest bedroom. I can spend the night here. Everything’s going to be alright.”
“I hope so.”
“I know what you’re thinking, Emi, but there’s nothing to worry about. Trust me.”
“I trust you, Jenny, but I don’t know if I can trust them.”
I sigh. “Please Emilia, let’s not have that discussion now. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jenny.”
“I’ll call you first thing in the morning, okay?”
I hear Emilia sigh. “Okay.”
“Good night, Emi, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good night, Jenny. See you tomorrow.” She returns the kiss I sent her.
When I end the call, Bette laughs softly. “Awwww! Is your girl worried we won’t know how to behave? Well, she’s got nothing to worry about. At least not tonight, right Ina?”
Bette puts her arm around Ina’s shoulder and pulls her close. “Ina needs some loving tonight, and I’m going to take care of that.” And she gives her band mate a long, slow, very passionate kiss. I can’t help gawking. When she finishes, Ina is smiling and blushing. Bette giggles at me.
“Let’s go to the house, I’m hungry,” Nellie says. “C’mon, Jenny.” She takes my hand, and together we trudge to the house, leaving deep footprints in the snow. We’ve almost reached the front door, when something hits my back, and Nellie’s, too. Hearing giggles behind us, we swirl around and notice Ina and Bette throwing snowballs at us. Within moments we’re in the middle of an epic snowball fight! I can’t remember the last time I had fun like this!
And when Bette slips and falls on her butt, she’s shrieking with laughter. She’s laughing so hard she can’t stand up, and Nellie and I rush over to join Ina in pulling her to her feet. And then we all stagger to the farmhouse giggling.
We’re soaking wet as we enter the farmhouse, pulling off our jackets and boots. A calico cat comes sneaking around my legs, sniffing at my jeans clad legs.
“That’s Hildegard, our cat,” Nellie says. “I hope you don’t mind. She’s very nosey.”
“No, no, I don’t mind, I love cats,” I reply. “Hildegard is a funny name for a cat.”
“We named her after Saint Hildegard,” Ina says.
“She’s a little witch and supposed to bring good luck,” Nellie adds.
Nellie takes my hand again, and leads me down the hallway to the kitchen. It looks like my grandmother’s kitchen with pots and pans hanging on the wall, and its old wooden décor. A bottle of red wine and a jug of water are standing in the middle of the table.
“Have a seat, Jenny, wherever you want. We have no strict order,” Nellie says, as she pulls some platters and glasses out of the cupboards, and sets the table, while Bette and Ina bring ham and cheese from the fridge, and bread from the breadbasket. After hesitating a moment, I sit down, and Hildegard, the calico cat, jumps in my lap. I stroke her, and she starts purring.
“Red wine, Jenny?” Nellie asks, smiling.
“Yes, red wine and water please,” I reply, blushing sli
ghtly, while I keep petting Hildegard.
Nellie pours a glass of red wine for me, and fills the other glasses as well. Bette and Ina sit next to each other on the opposite side of the table from me, and Nellie sits down next to me.
Bette raises her glass and says, “Ladies, a toast to Jenny!” Ina and Nellie join her in saying, “To Jenny!”
I smile and blush and clink glasses with them. Hildegard gets annoyed at the noise and my sudden moving, and jumps out of my lap. My eyes follow her as she pads out of the kitchen. This feels like a real home.
When we finish eating, Ina and Bette get up, holding hands. Bette looks at us.
“Nellie will show you your bedroom, Jenny, and she’ll take care of everything. Good night, sweet dreams.” There’s a smirk on her pretty face.
“Good night, Jenny, and good night, Nell,” Ina says, before Bette pulls her away from the table, and out of the kitchen.
Nellie gets up and starts clearing the table. “I’ll help you clean up,” I say, getting up from my chair, too.
Nellie smiles warmly at me, and simply says, “Thank you.”
I help her load the dishes in the dishwasher. “I love this kitchen,” I say. “It’s so cozy.”
“Yes, I love it, too. I love living here,” Nellie answers. “It’s homey and old-fashioned, but the things that we need to be modern, are modern, like the dishwasher, the refrigerator, and the stove. Our landlord lives in America, and he only comes over once a year or so. He’s great. If there are any repairs to be done, he has us arrange it to have them done, and he pays the bills.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“It is.”
And then I embarrass myself by yawning, and I cover my mouth with my hand. Nellie smiles at me tenderly. “Do you want me to show you the guest bedroom now?”
“Yeah, Nellie, I think you’d better. It’s been a long day.”
“Oh, I can just imagine. There are so many new things for you to get used to.”
Nellie turns out the lights in the kitchen, and then she takes my hand, and leads me back along the dimly lit hallway, and up the creaky wooden stairway. On the landing we turn right and come to a long hallway like the one on the ground floor. Nellie is still holding my hand as she leads me down that corridor with its old hardwood floor. There are doors to our left and our right.
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