I’m in the kitchen, getting another beer from the fridge in the kitchen when I notice Bette walking upstairs, hand-in-hand with a cute blonde girl who seems to have done quite a good job of copying Taylor Momsen’s look. Before they disappear out of my sight, Bette winks. I lift my hand and wave, before I go back to the living room.
I discover Emilia talking to Nellie. I join them just at the moment when Nellie says, “I know Ralf and one of the girls have already gotten the guest bedroom, Emi, but you and Jenny don’t have to crash on the living room floor! There’s plenty of room for the two of you in my bed.”
Startled, I stop where I am and try to hide how absolutely taken aback I am by the idea of Nellie inviting Emilia and I into her bed.
Emi looks up and sees me, and smiles happily. “Did you hear that, Jen? We can sleep in Nellie’s bed tonight.”
I’m feeling very confused, which may have something to do with the fact that I’m a little drunk! But more than anything else, I’m exhausted.
“Thanks, Nellie. That’s really sweet of you,” I say, and then I suddenly yawn, and I say plaintively, “Can we go up?”
Nellie smiles, and takes my hand as has become her habit. Emilia smiles at me tenderly, and takes my other hand. We walk up the stairs together, down that dimly lit hallway, until we arrive at Nellie’s bedroom. Nellie opens the door, inviting us inside.
“Make yourself comfortable, girls,” she says, and then she smiles at us sweetly. “I hope you don’t mind if I join you in a little while. I need a place to sleep, too.”
Emilia and I go to bed, I kiss her goodnight, but I’m too tired to do anything but fall asleep immediately. Some time later the rustling of fabric awakens me, and I feel Nellie sliding into bed behind me. I smell her intoxicating fragrance, and without thinking I kiss her goodnight… Right on the mouth!
Nellie laughs softly, and gives me a little peck on the lips. “Nite Nite, Jenny,” she whispers, before she turns around. Her soft, even breathing tells me she’s fallen asleep only moments later. I’m too tired to think about my weird behavior, so I snuggle into Emilia, and fall asleep myself again.
Now, waking up the situation feels awkward, but why? I could laugh. Just four years earlier, I used to be the neighborhood slut. At that time I still believed I was into guys. I remember a party when I had sex with two guys at the same time. While Mario fucked me I gave the other guy a blowjob. I don’t even remember his name. I was really drunk, and they bought cigarettes and beer for me, and they had cheap bracelets and necklaces as gifts for me. It was so ridiculous. I didn’t feel anything. So why are you suddenly shy when you’re in bed with two girls? An inner voice simply says, ‘Love’. Well, that’s right, I wasn’t in love with any of the guys I had sex with. And now? I love Emilia, right? So why do I seem to be falling in love with Nellie, too?
“Jen, you’re so tense, lie still,” a sleepy Emilia whispers, turning around to face me. She gently kisses my lips, before she slowly opens her blue eyes. Her left hand moves to my head, stroking my hair. “What is it, Jenny, what are you thinking about? I know that expression on your face. Come here, silly.” She kisses me again. Suddenly she seems to realize we’re not alone.
“Oh, Nellie’s here, too,” she whispers.
“Yes, it’s her bed,” I whisper in return.
Emilia starts to shake with suppressed laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“The situation, silly! You’re sandwiched between two girls.”
“I noticed that a bit earlier than you, sweetheart.” She has no idea how true that is.
“I’m not ready to wake up yet, so can you please be quiet?” A very sleepy voice says behind my back.
“Good morning, Nellie,” Emilia says cheerily.
Turning around, I look at Nellie, and our glances meet. It’s nice waking up next to her.
“Good morning, Nellie,” I manage to say. My eyes move to her soft lips. I want to kiss her.
“Morning, you two,” Nellie says. “Now can I go back to sleep?” She turns around, her back to me, her buttocks pressing against my thighs. Oh dear God!
I think I’d rather get out of bed before I explode. Suddenly I realize that’s not the only reason I need to get out of bed. “I need to pee,” I whisper, climbing over Emilia, and trudging to the door. I pause at the door for a moment and listen. The house is still quiet. I walk silently down the hallway to the bathroom. While using the bathroom, I realize I can’t go back to sleep, and decide to take a shower. I start with cold water to wake me up thoroughly, before I turn on the warm water.
I pad quietly back to Nellie’s room, and I discover that Nellie and Emilia have fallen asleep again. Both of them are lying on their sides, their butts seem to be touching. I stand in front of the bed and watch them. They’re both beautiful, I don’t know which one is more beautiful. Why do I suddenly feel like Paris in Greek mythology? He had to choose which of three goddesses was the most beautiful, and he was supposed to give a golden apple to the one he chose. But the apple was the Golden Apple of Discord, and when he made his choice he started the Trojan War. Perhaps he shouldn’t have chosen at all?
I wipe my hand over my face, and decide I had too much alcohol last night. I also decide that I should stop thinking too much, and that I need coffee. Seeing my jeans lying on the bedroom floor, I pick them up and pull them on, and barefooted I silently walk out of the bedroom.
I pad down the hallway again, and this time I make my way to the kitchen downstairs. I stop to take a quick look in the living room. It’s a complete mess! There are bottles and glasses everywhere! The air is stale, and it smells of sweat, cigarettes, and booze. There are two girls asleep on the sofa, one lying on top of the other. One of Ralf’s friends is sleeping in an armchair, and another on the floor. The whole room looks like a mess. I quickly retreat to the kitchen, before I begin to become sick.
I search the cupboards, and find coffee and mugs. Thankfully, I manage to start the coffee machine. As I wait for it to finish, I look out of the kitchen window. My gaze wanders across fields and pastures that are covered with frost. In the distance I can see the houses of the village. It looks like a rural still life in wintertime, one that could have been painted a century ago. The coffee machine makes burbling and hissing noises, and the smell of coffee begins to fill the kitchen, making it seem even cozier. I smile. I feel as though this has become my home, and as if ‘The Coldhearts’ have become my family. I love this place, and I love them.
And then the coffee is done, and as if on cue a husky voice says, “Good morning, Babe, nice of you to make coffee.” Before I can even turn around I feel Bette’s hands on my hips, and she places a soft kiss on my neck.
I can’t help laughing. “Good morning, Bette,” I say, and I look back at her and smile. Her blonde hair is disheveled, and her face looks very pale without any makeup. She’s wearing her grey yoga pants, and a simple white t-shirt.
“I need coffee,” she says letting go of me. “Holy fuck, what a night! I’m a total fucking mess!” She’s grinning, and I know why.
I smile politely, and say, “Long night, Bitch Goddess?”
She laughs throatily, and her grin becomes more intense. “Yeah, but it was totally worth it!” She answers. “My cute little Taylor Momsen wannabee was amazing.” Bette sighs happily. “It’s so hard to find a girl who can keep up with me!”
I bite my lip to not start laughing, but the coffee is ready, and I turn around to take a second mug from the cupboard to pour coffee for us.
“What about your night with your Crazy Bitches, Jen? Emilia and Nellie still upstairs?” Bette asks, eyeing me over the rim of her mug.
I must have looked shocked, because Bette laughs, and says, “Don’t look at me like that.” Bette smirks at me, and takes another sip of coffee. “The face you just made was fucking priceless.” She sighs, grinning at me, and then she turns serious. “I know Emilia is your girlfriend, Babe. So be careful what you do about Nellie.”
“What do you
mean?” I blurt out.
She doesn’t answer right away, but gives me a piercing look, and I freeze. “Listen, Babe, I’m normally not one to give girls advice on their love lives, because where relationships are concerned, I’m a world class fuckup, but I care about Nellie a lot, and the last fucking thing I want is for her to get hurt.”
I swallow hard. “I care about Nellie, too,” I manage to say, and stare back at Bette, shaken. Is what I feel for Nellie that obvious?
Bette nods as if she could actually read my thoughts. “You and Nellie have been fucking each other with your eyes, and I’ve got eyes to see it.”
I’m staring at Bette, still not comprehending.
“You can’t fool me, Jenny, I have eyes in my head, and I see how you look at one another. You’re already fucking with your eyes.” And she gives me another piercing look. “You and Nell are gonna have to figure out how to deal with it. I don’t want anybody to get hurt. We’ve had enough drama with Ina and Caro. We don’t want any more.”
I only nod my head, before I take another sip of my coffee. After a long moment Bette nods back, and takes a swig of her own coffee. Then she speaks again, and her tone has changed. “Now, you and me have business to take care of, Babe. First of all you need to know that Ina, Nellie, and I want you for ‘The Coldhearts’ as a permanent member. And I need to ask you, if that’s what you want?”
“Oh my God, yes!” I blurt out without hesitating. “I love the band. I love playing with you, and I love being with you! You’re like my family for me.” And suddenly I get all emotional and tears well up in my eyes.
Bette sets her mug on the kitchen counter, closes the distance between us, and then she hugs me. “Awwww, don’t cry, Baby Doll,” she says, and kisses me tenderly on the forehead. She grabs a kitchen towel, and dabs at my eyes. “In contrast to our band name we’re everything, but definitely not cold-hearted.” Next she startles me by kissing me on the lips. She giggles mischievously, and abruptly changes her tone again.
“Now, I’m going to have to go back to being ‘All Business Bette’ for a moment. For starters, tomorrow Nellie will be at your place with your money for your first gig with us. And secondly, she’ll have some paperwork for you to sign.”
“Paperwork?”
“It’s just a contract that fixes your share of the honoraria we earn, and such stuff.” Bette looks at me seriously. “We make a good bit of money, Jenny, and we’re going to want to make sure you get everything that’s coming to you.”
I’m feeling a little overwhelmed again. I nod helplessly. “Okay.” I get the feeling that Bette’s starting to feel...kind of protective toward me. It’s strange and new to me, but it’s also quite comforting. I understand she cares about me. And I can only begin to understand how much the band means to her and the other girls, too.
The smell of coffee and the bubbling noises of the coffee machine seem to have awakened another sleeper. A tall, slender girl appears at the kitchen entrance. All her makeup is gone, and she looks like an innocent angel, except that she’s wearing a t-shirt and quite possibly nothing else! Bette grins at her like a satisfied cat.
“Hey Tanja, you up already?”
“I woke up in your empty bed, and I missed you, Baby.” She giggles. “I smelled coffee, too,” Tanja explains.
Bette pulls Tanja close to her, pressing her body against her, and kissing her deeply. While she does Tanja’s t-shirt slides higher, exposing her bare buttocks, showing that she’s definitely not wearing anything but a t-shirt. After a long moment Bette breaks their kiss.
“Have you met Jenny yet, Baby Doll? Jenny is our new bass player,” Bette says.
Tanja looks at Bette. “I know, right? I was at the gig last night.” She giggles, and turns to me. “Hi Jenny, nice to meet you,” she says cheerfully, wiggling her fingers in a cute little wave, while her left arm is still around Bette’s waist.
“Good to meet you, Tanja,” I reply and wave back at her, smiling in amusement. “I guess you want coffee?”
She assumes a tragic expression, one hand on her forehand. “Oh God, yes, please.”
While I’m pouring Tanja’s coffee, Nellie appears in the kitchen, wearing her black t-shirt and faded jeans. She smiles at me, and our eyes lock together, and I can’t help thinking, again, that Nellie’s eyes are the color of molten dark chocolate. Her smile makes me weak, and I almost spill hot coffee all over myself.
“Hi, good morning everyone,” she says softly, her eyes never leaving me.
“Hello, Nell,” Bette says, with a smirk that’s meant more for me than it is for Nellie. Tanja watches us with parted lips and wide eyes, as curious as any kitten, but she doesn’t let go of Bette, and neither does Bette push her away.
“Hi Nellie,” I manage to say. She walks up to me, and kisses me on the cheek.
“Can I have some coffee please?” Nellie addresses me.
“Oh, sure.” I hand a mug to Tanja who takes it, and sits down at the kitchen table, with Bette joining her. Nellie takes a mug from the cupboard, and puts it on the counter. There’s a fluffy pink kitten on it, that has an inverted black cross on its forehead, and a caption that reads ‘I pet kitties fur the devil’.
“Is this your personal mug?” I ask, and try to avoid getting lost in Nellie’s eyes again.
“Yes, do you like it?” Nellie smiles wryly.
“Oh, yes, I do. It’s…hilarious. By the way, where’s Hildegard?”
“She’s probably hiding somewhere. She doesn’t like it when there are a lot of people she doesn’t know around. And she doesn’t like noise at all, either.”
Tanja’s sitting on Bette’s lap in the meantime, and they both are still watching us intently. My heart’s beating so fast, and I have no idea what to say next.
Fortunately, Nellie does. “Did Bette tell you we wanted you to join ‘The Coldhearts’ as a permanent member?”
“She did, Nell, and of course I said yes.”
Nellie’s face lights up. “I thought you’d say that, but wasn’t totally sure. That’s totally awesome.” She hugs me, and I feel her breasts against mine. It makes me shiver. She’s not wearing a bra under her t-shirt. Then she pulls back a little, holding my shoulders, and smiling radiantly.
“Welcome to ‘The Coldhearts’, Jet-Black Jenny!”
Out of the corner of my eye I see Tanja whisper something in Bette’s ear, and our bandleader begins shaking with silent laughter, one hand covering her mouth.
CHAPTER 8 – RAGING HORMONES
I’m lying alone in my bed, and I can’t sleep. It’s the Monday night after my first gig with ‘The Coldhearts’, and I can’t stop thinking about one girl… Nellie! My mind’s crazily replaying every detail of our conversation earlier today. She stopped by at my place on her way home from college, and, as she promised, she texted me before she arrived, making sure I was at home. She said she wanted to bring me the paperwork Bette mentioned.
The buzzing of the doorbell made me jump from the sofa, and my hands were trembling slightly when I opened the door to my small apartment. There she was, looking pretty and absolutely adorable as always. Her Alice Cullen hairdo blew me away like it does every time I see her. She was wearing her cute black-rimmed glasses as if she knew how much her slightly nerdy look turns me on. Her black winter coat matched her black skinny jeans perfectly. Right, it’s still cold outside. I was even able to remember that fact. That was before our glances met, and I lost myself in her dark chocolate-colored eyes.
Nellie hesitates for a moment, and then she throws her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. She kisses me on either cheek, the touch of her lips feeling as light as a feather, but it’s enough to make my body tingle. Then she pulls away, holding me at arm’s length, her hands on my shoulders, and smiles. “Hi Jenny. Good to see you.”
“Hi Nellie, good to see you! Come in,” I manage to say, even though my throat is very dry. I’d be lying to myself if I put the blame on the dry air inside my apartment.
Stepping over my doorstep she hangs her jacket on the rack in the little foyer. While she has her back turned to me I can’t help looking her over, and noticing that her tight fitting jeans cup her buttocks very nicely. She turns to me, still smiling. In her glasses and her fluffy white sweater she looks like an ordinary college student. At the moment it’s hard to imagine her on stage, sitting behind a drum kit, laying down the beat ‘The Coldhearts’ and their Crazy Bitches rock to. And suddenly I stop, and wonder why I’m as nervous as a cat? But of course I know why…and I realize I’d better stop my mind from wandering, and focus on my beautiful guest.
“Sit down, Nellie. Can I get you something to drink?”
Again she hesitates for a moment, checking out my apartment, and sits down on the sofa. “Tea would be good, thanks. It’s cold outside.” She blows on her hands.
I rummage around in the cabinet of my little kitchen. “What kind of tea would you like, Nell? I have peppermint, ginger and orange, Earl Grey…or maybe you’d rather have hot chocolate?”
“You have hot chocolate? Oh, I’ll have that, please. It sounds delicious.”
“It is delicious,” I answer with a smile. We chat a bit about Nellie’s day at school, and then our chocolate’s ready. I put two mugs on the coffee table, and pull my desk chair to the table, because sitting next to her on the sofa suddenly seems much too intimate. Nellie reaches in her backpack, and pulls two envelopes from it, a large one and a smaller one.
Noticing my curious look she smirks. She puts the larger envelope on the coffee table in front of me. She turns serious. “This is the contract Bette told you about. Read it over, and you’ll see that you get an equal share of our fees for all upcoming gigs, future potential recordings, and future merchandise. You won’t get a share of the sales of our old CD, since it was Caro who played bass on it. If you agree to the terms, all you have to do is sign it. If you do decide to sign it, you can give it to Bette this Wednesday afternoon, when you come over for our next rehearsal.”
I nod, and then I smile wryly. “You want me to…’Sign with the devil’?”
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