“You’re lonely? That’s why you brought me here?”
“No…Yes… It’s a bit more complicated than that. Never did I think that bringing you here would lead to something like that,” he said, looking back over at where a guy stood ripping the pervert a new one.
“When we leave will you tell me?” I asked quietly.
“Yes,” he looked back at me with an intense jaw dropping look. “When I saw you in your office with your head on your desk, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you were,” he laughed softly. “Then you walk into the hotel lobby looking like a vision straight from my dreams. If nothing else, at least for one night I am graced with a beautiful woman on my arm and no agenda.”
Without warning, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. Once contact was made, I couldn’t pull away. It was too powerful. A surge of electricity shot straight through me and burned me up on the inside as it traveled down to my center. Opening my mouth, he growled as our tongues touched.
“Jake?”
He groaned dropping his head to my shoulder. “I just can’t win.” He smirked, “Sorry.”
I could only stare wide eyed at him, unable to form any words. Such a simple kiss and it left me brainless. What the hell was happening to me?
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’d like to apologize to…” The man started.
“Sorry. Tobey, this is my girlfriend Vicky. Vicky this is my sister’s soon to be husband, Tobey. They own this ranch.”
“Vicky, I’m sorry about Rex. He won’t bother you again. After talking with Mary…”
Jacob started laughing. It was a pleasurable sound, only adding to how horny I was. “What’s so funny?” I asked, confused and trying to distract myself.
“When he says talking to Mary what he really means is she yelled and he listened,” Jacob said through his laughter.
Tobey started laughing. “Yeah, well, I’m sure Vicky here will have you by the balls here soon too. Then my friend, I will be laughing at you.”
That caused my heart to freeze in my chest, I had to work real hard to keep from turning pale or fainting. My stupid heart wished for it…longed for it. My brain, thankfully, was still working properly. It knew that this wasn’t going to happen.
“Like I was saying though, we’ve decided to reconsider our staff. Just not sure what we’ll do now because from the looks of it half these guys may not be panning out. I don’t want Mary working. I’d rather her take care of Mitchell.”
A light bulb went off in my head. Business, now that I can safely talk and think about. “Wait a second.” I almost yelled.
Walking a few steps away, I could feel Jacob’s eyes on me. Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through my contacts until I found the one I was looking for. Pressing send, I waited for her to answer.
“Hey work wench, what’s up?”
“Hey doll. Well, I’m actually calling with good news for you.”
“Oh, I like this call,” she laughed.
“Are you and the others still looking for work?”
“Yeah, but not many people will give us a chance. You know how it goes.”
“Well, I might have work for you guys. Considering you can get Axel under control, that is.”
“He’s getting better, but getting him to trust people is still hard.”
“Well, these are good people. You’d be working on a ranch. I haven’t told them about you guys yet, I wanted to call and see if you’d even be interested first.”
“Give me a second and I’ll ask the guys.” A few seconds later she came back on the line. “It’s a go for all of us.”
“Great. I’ll tell them and give them your number. Expect their call.”
“Thanks Ms. Lancer. I can’t tell you how good it is to know we at least have one person out there that cares.”
Looking back over at the party, my gut tells me something. “I have a feeling you’re about to have a whole lot more looking out for you,” I smiled at the thought.
“Would be a nice change.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
We ended the call with our normal banter and I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down their number on there, before walking back over to the guys, holding out the piece of paper to Tobey.
“This is a number to a possible solution to your problems. The woman that will answer will be Carmen. There are about fourteen others there. They are looking for work, all of them have experience working farms, so I’d like to think they’d slide into here rather well. Here’s the catch. They are recovering addicts. But before you judge them, please don’t. They are good people and they deserve a chance. Carmen, Axel, Shelby, Skyler, and Hunter, I know personally and they kind of took the others under their wings. It’s an idea is all.”
“Uh, wow thanks. Is it okay if I call after the ceremony?”
“Yeah, I called her to make sure they were still available. They do live a distance away, but I will pay for them to live in a hotel if need be.”
“No that won’t be necessary, we had cabins built for the new staff. Thank you, Vicky. Hang on to her Jake.” He said his goodbyes a hurried away.
“What do you say we continue to enjoy our time here and forget about that asshole?” Jacob asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“That sounds like a plan I can live with,” I answered without thinking.
# # #
Being here for such a private moment didn’t sit right with me. Everyone here thought that I was with Jacob. Lying was not something I liked to do. Even when I was younger, I couldn’t even lie to my friends. Now here I was lying to very lovely people. Guilt was eating me alive right now.
For an impromptu wedding, it made even my cold heart melt. Tobey definitely loved his now wife. The tears in his eyes as Mary came walking down the aisle spoke volumes. The ceremony was about over when a guy came running down the aisle screaming.
“Mary, please don’t do this! Please!”
“Nate, you promised,” Mary said sadly.
“I’m sorry Tobey. I mean no disrespect, but I know you’d do the same if the roles were reversed. Mary, I love you. Really love you. You keep telling me that there’d be no one else if I did and there hasn’t been. Please don’t marry him. My heart can’t take losing you. You’re the reason it beats in the first place.”
“Nate…” Mary started before turning to Tobey, “Give me just a second.” Tobey nodded his head and gave Nate a sad compassionate look.
Mary gathered up her dress as she stepped down from the little stage they had set up and walked toward this Nate guy. The smile on his face as she walked toward him showed everyone else present exactly how much he did care for her. Details were something I paid attention to at all times. The look on her face told me that she cared about him, but not in the context he’s going to like.
“Hey,” I turned to find Jacob standing next to me. “I need you to help me please.”
I nodded my head, unsure of what I could help him with, other than the obvious of course. Grabbing my hand, we walked down the aisle behind Nate.
“Nate, I love you.” Nate’s smile widened and tears shimmered in his eyes. He started to reach for her. Mary grabbed his hands. “You’re my best friend. You’ll always have a place in my heart, but I’m not your girl. You’ll find her. She’s out there. I know she is, but she’s not me. When you find her you’ll see that the love you feel for me isn’t the love you think it is.”
His grip on her hands tightened. “How can you possibly know that? How can you possibly know that we aren’t meant to be? You haven’t even given us a shot.”
“I know because I found that real true love in Tobey. I’m happy Nate, happier than I’ve ever been or ever thought I could be. I want that happiness for you. You deserve to be happy like this.”
“Then leave with me, be with me. You are the key to my happiness, to life.”
“No, sweetie, I’m not, but she’s out there and you’re missing her by holding on to something
that isn’t really here.”
Jacob grabbed Nate’s arm. Nate jerked his arm away, glaring at Jacob. The tears that shimmered in his eyes before now fell down his cheeks.
“Don’t do this, please. We’re meant to be together. Jason told me that if something is worth having, it’s worth fighting for.” Jacob grabbed him around both his arms locking his hands behind Nate’s back and started pulling him backward. “I’m fighting for love, for us. Why can’t you? Please don’t give up on us.”
“You’re my best friend, but nothing more. I pray you find your happiness and we can go back to being friends,” Mary said sadly.
“Don’t give up on me,” Nate cried. “Everyone always gives up on me. I’m worth it Mary. I am. Don’t give up!” Jacob pulled him to where all the cars are. “Mary!” He sobbed, sagging in Jacob’s arms.
Jacob let go of his arms and Nate dropped to the ground. He kneeled down next to Nate and placed his hand on his shoulder. “You’re a brother to me, Nate. You were from the minute you helped save my sister. You need to give up.” Jacob urged him.
“I can’t. I can’t live without her.” He said without lifting his head. It hung there sadly, like a heavy weight on his shoulders. “Watching her every single day falling further and further away from me…”
Looking at Jacob, I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Go back to the wedding. I’ll sit here and have a chat with him.”
Jacob stood looking down at me. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I said, gazing down at the broken man at my feet. “Go be with your family,” I said, bringing my eyes back up to his.
Leaning down, he kissed my forehead with his hands cupping my face. He lingered there for a moment before pulling back. “Thank you. I’ll be back soon.” Then he hurried back to the wedding.
Lowering myself down on the ground next to him, he looked at me with a strange look. It wasn’t anything creepy, but like he couldn’t figure out what I was doing.
“Why are you ruining your dress for me?” He asked skeptically.
“I have a feeling you and I have more in common than you think,” I said patting his arm.
“Oh, you’ve loved someone that loves someone else?”
My mind immediately went to Jacob and I couldn’t even fathom why it would. I’ve only been with him for a few hours. There was no way to judge feelings in that amount of time. Especially, considering that I only know what I’ve read about him and apparently that was just the surface no depth at all.
“Let’s just say that I’ve longed for something that I can never have,” I said sadly.
“Yeah,” he said sadly, quiet for a moment. “Have you ever had to watch the only person you’ve ever loved have a child and marry another guy?”
“No, I can’t say that I have, but I can tell you that pain from the heart is all the same no matter how it was set up. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“She was right though. You deserve happiness, but you’ll never have it by holding on to something that isn’t yours.”
“What would you know?” He hung his head.
“I’ve never told anyone this, but I think it might help you. Can you keep it a secret?”
“Sure, no one cares about what I say or feel anyway.”
“When I was thirteen, I woke up excited for the day ahead of me. My parents had big plans for my birthday. I took my time getting ready because I wanted to look like a teenager,” Nate looked at me with disbelief. “Hey when you’re a girl it makes sense. Well to make a long story short. My mom left to get some last minute things for my party. I was just outside of my father’s office when I heard some noises.” Shaking my head, “Next thing I remember is hearing gun shots. I hid in the nearest closet and prayed whoever was in there wouldn’t find me. I heard a door open somewhere near me. I held my breath. My mom’s voice calling out for my dad came next. I listened to her shoes click on the floor and tried to gage when to jump out and stop her. When I heard voices, I opened the door and headed toward them. My parents were arguing in my dad’s office. There was a naked woman lying on the floor, blood all around her. Mom was crying. Dad said something about her being pregnant and wanting money and my mom lost it on him. She grabbed my dad’s gun and shot him before turning the gun on herself.
On my thirteenth birthday, I lost my parents because my father couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and panicked when his infidelity led to a pregnancy. He let me down and made my mom go crazy. Neither of them thought for one second how any of their actions would affect me. They didn’t care. My story doesn’t stop there, but for now I think this is enough to let you see that I know a bit about wanting what you can’t have. Happiness is something I don’t get to have. Contentment yes, but not happiness. That’s lost to me for good.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss, but just because your parents weren’t happy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be.”
“Exactly. Just because Mary is happy with someone else doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be with someone else. Mary is not your girl. You’ll know your girl when she touches you, looks at you… What you need to do is get away. You need to go someplace that she isn’t, so your heart can have a chance to see what else could be out there. You love Mary and yet here you sit unhappy. That’s not how love is, not real love. It’s not out there for me, but I strongly believe it is for you.”
“You and Jake seem pretty happy.”
“Ah, but he is a great actor,” I said, bumping his shoulder. “Trust me, I’m not his type or anyone’s type for that matter. People use me not keep me,” I winked with a sad smile on my face.
“Well, you’ve got better in Jake there. He’s a great guy. That man understands being used and burdens to carry. Give him a chance.”
“If I don’t hope for more, I won’t be hurt in the end,” I said looking down at my hands.
Chapter Four
Jacob
Watching Mary get married pulled at something deep inside me. It was strong enough to almost take my breath away. As the preacher talked about happiness being found in the one that completes us, it pulled even harder. My head turned in the direction of where Vicky sat with Nate. How could one person be the key to happiness? If you can’t be happy with yourself how is another going to bring that to you?
Looking back at my sister, her smile was big. I sighed in relief. She was happy and I knew that Tobey would take care of her and my nephew. I may have failed her before, but it was the best decision I ever made to come up with the plan that brought them back together. Mary was far too pig headed to have come around without help. Tobey was too big on giving her space to come back on her own. Thanks to her big brothers ‘interfering’ she was finally truly happy.
The ceremony concluded and I found myself pulled back to Vicky. Just as I got into ear shot of them, I caught their conversation.
“You and Jake seem pretty happy.”
“Ah, but he is a great actor,” she said, bumping his shoulder. “Trust me, I’m not his type or anyone’s type for that matter. People use me not keep me,” with a sad smile, she winked at him.
“Well, you’ve got better in Jake there. He’s a great guy. That man understands being used and burdens to carry. Give him a chance.”
“If I don’t hope for more, I won’t be hurt in the end,” she softly said looking down at her hands.
“Then you end up like me and watching the one you love find happiness in someone else.”
“Well, for Jacob, I hope that’s true. He’d just get dragged down with me,” she sighed.
“Okay. Okay. So what do you suggest I do?” Nate asked. “How am I supposed to shut off my heart?”
“No one is telling you to shut off your heart. Maybe just to listen to it more carefully. As far as a suggestion, I don’t know, maybe a vacation would clear your head.”
Clearing my throat, I walked the rest of the way toward them. “I think a vacation sounds like a great idea. Take a month away, get your hea
d on straight and then come back and get your life back in order.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Nate said wearily.
Reaching down I helped Vicky up and Nate stood as well. “Nate, man, I hate to break it to you, but you really have nothing stopping you. You’ve been put on leave at the station because of your erratic behavior. If you want a chance to save your job…you need to try this.”
Nate brushed himself off and wiped his eyes. “Tell Mary and Tobey that I’m sorry.” He started to walk away before looking back at us. “Thanks Vicky for staying and talking to me. Sorry to ruin the time you guys had together. As busy as Jake is I’m sure you don’t get much time.” He looked at me. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Sure man. You know you can call me when you need me. Don’t consider money into the mix. I’ll pay for it for you. Consider it an early birthday gift.”
He nodded and walked off to his car, driving off. I turned to Vicky, who suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Listen, let’s go say goodbye to everyone. I think you’ve had a busy day. Time to get you home.”
As we are saying our goodbyes to everyone, I noticed that Vicky’s demeanor had changed. She was quiet and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. When the first cords of a slow song started, I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. When I heard the first few lyrics to the song, my heart stuttered in my chest. She looked up at me then. The song and Vicky were the only things I heard. Roberta Flack’s The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face continued to play on, but all I saw was the woman in my arms.
Holding her closely, I wondered why it was that this woman, who I just wanted to torture, was suddenly affecting me the way she was. She held my gaze, never wavering. It almost felt like a challenge. Her words echoing in my head from earlier…
“Ah, but he is a great actor.”
She was basically telling him that anything I did or said was nothing but an act. Yeah, maybe we weren’t together, really, but it didn’t mean that I was faking enjoying her company.
Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) Page 3