"Right," said Harry, nodding. "The majority of people do exactly what you've just done." He took the pen back from her, glad that Mini was at last normal and part of that majority. "But in this marriage certificate, Alice's signature is in an ink pen, and Noah's signature is in a ballpoint pen."
"Meaning?" Mini asked, unsure about where Harry was heading in the conversation.
"Meaning that you book two tickets to Cape Town," Harry replied hotly.
"Why, sir?" Mini questioned her boss, intrigued.
"Because the truth will be revealed, baby," Harry grinned, giving her a cheeky and assuring wink.
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
THE CAPE TOWN ESTATE AGENTS
Harry and Mini were in Cape Town, at the Sam and Brooklyn Estate Agents.
"Are you sure?" Harry was asking.
"Yes, sir. Mr Noah and Miss Alice came here. They got a final deal from a client," replied the receptionist.
"Hmmm," Harry said vaguely, drinking his coconut milk viciously. He'd brought it from the beach on his way to the office, and it was a real coconut with the milk inside it, with a straw. "By night time, were they both here?"
"Sir, only Mr Noah was here in the evening," the receptionist explained. "His secretary felt a bit ill, so apparently she went back to the hotel."
Harry stared for a long moment. "Thank you for your co-operation," he said finally. "Do you have any papers or something for us to have?"
"Today's Sunday, so we can't give them to you today, as the office will be closed." The receptionist shrugged, trying to reassure their disappointment.
"Now what?" Mini piped up.
"Now, we wait until tomorrow so we can get our papers," Harry replied, continuing to drink his coconut milk.
"Then what will we do for the rest of today, Sir?" Mini asked.
"Today, we'll go to the Cape Town beach!" Harry grinned at her.
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
HARRY'S HUGE REJECTION
Harry was lying down on the sunbed, with a white cap on his head, and he was casually drinking more coconut milk. Then, he saw an irresistible lady, wearing a pink polka dot bikini, and was walking down to the beach to join him after swimming in the sea.
Harry gazed at her in awe.
It was Mini. She sat down on to the sunbed next to Harry, towel drying her hair. Harry was still staring at her, as if his eyes were glued to the spot.
"What is it, Sir?" Mini laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Mini," Harry began, "what do you think of me?"
"Genius, sir," Mini replied.
"Mate, oh, mate, I know that all ready! How many times have I told you not to say the things that I all ready know again and again! It makes me feel embarrassed, mate!" A wide grin stretched across his face, and he sat up straight. "Say something else."
"Sir, could I ask you something?" Mini said suddenly.
"Yes, ask away!" Harry thought that she was about to ask him something about how good looking he was, or how charming he was, or how kind he was, something like that.
"Sir, you know on that marriage certificate, how did you see the difference in the signatures but I didn't?" Mini looked as if she was about to burst into tears. "Why isn't my mind sharp like yours, Sir?"
"That's because you have a really big problem, Mini!" Harry scolded, folding his arms, bothered.
"You always tell me that I've got a problem, so how about today, you actually tell me what my problem is?!" Mini smiled.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Mini?" Harry asked randomly.
"Sir, how can I have a boyfriend?" Mini replied innocently. "I stay with you for the whole day!"
"That is exactly what your problem is!" Harry snapped. "You've crossed the line of life's silver lining! You don't have a boyfriend, you haven't got married! What are you going to do with yourself, you sexy piece of shit?"
Mini laughed. "Sir, you haven't got married yet, either!" she said pointedly.
"Yes, but I socialize a lot!" Harry began to grin again. "Look," he said, sitting next to her, "boy's aren't just about what they appear to be on the outside. Their bodies also play a role in their personality. They hunger. Their body gets frustrated when they can't get what they want. And they don't concentrate when they're thinking about it."
"I don't understand," Mini frowned.
"Look, there's things that I say that you won't understand in that little brain of yours. It has to be practical." The word practical gave Harry a sudden inspiration. "Come on inside and I'll show you, come on." He smiled widely.
There was a cabin with a bed inside it.
"Think that you're with your boyfriend, right?" Harry began. "He comes closer to you, grabs your hands and throws his hat off." He did exactly what he was saying.
"Sir, left side or right side?" Mini asked.
"Oh, just come to me!" Harry growled, and then he hugged her tight. "How are you feeling?" he whispered.
Mini pulled away from the hug. "It feels good," she admitted.
"Then, he kisses your neck," Harry continued, leaning in to kiss Mini's neck, but she backed away a little.
"Sir," she piped up, "left side or right side?"
"Any side!" Harry was getting impatient now. He kissed her neck. "How are you feeling?"
"It feels very good, Sir!" Mini exclaimed.
"Then, he kisses your lips," Harry grinned, getting really excited, and he leaned in, but Mini backed away again.
"Sir," she said, "there is no left or right here, so I think we should stop now."
Harry looked disappointed. "Why?!" he cried. "Don't you like me?!"
"Sir, it's got nothing to do with that," Mini smiled. "I don't like you in that way. I want you as my God."
Harry sighed long and hard. "Oh, that's a new one!" he muttered.
"And people worship God," Mini continued. "I worship you, Sir. You're great." She began to walk towards the door. "Bye!" she left the room.
"Idiot," Harry mumbled. "This is the first girl I've met who denies being touched by me and then sees me as a God!" He looked as if he was about to burst into tears.
CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
THE REGISTRAR OF MARRIAGES OFFICE
Harry and Mini walked into the Registrar of Marriages office.
"Where's Mr Downes?" Harry asked to a lady who was walking past.
"Please take a seat, Mr Downes will be here in five minutes," the lady replied.
"Thank you," Harry said, nodding. Then, he and Mini heard a shouting voice.
"I'M NOT YOUR DAD'S BLOODY BEGGAR SERVANT, SO YOU'D BETTER TALK TO ME WITH RESPECT!" came a roaring voice. "ARE YOU BLOODY TAKING THE MICKEY OUT OF ME? DO YOU THINK I'M EASILY JUST GOING TO HAND YOU OVER MONEY LIKE THAT?! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT IN THE OFFICE. THE OFFICE IS MY HOME, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DON'T TALK ABOUT FATHER'S LIKE THAT. OH, FOR GAWD'S SAKE, IF YOU'RE A WIFE THEN ACT LIKE ONE AND STAY A SENSIBLE ONE!" He dialled off his phone in frustration and bounded into the room where Harry and Mini were. "Talk," he began, calming down a little.
"Look, we want to -" Harry began.
"You want to get married?" Mr Downes shouted. "Everyday, boys and boys, girls and girls, boys and girls, ask me to get them married! I'm not talking to you in an offensive way, but f you want to get married, then bloody give me a ring. There's such things as phones, you know! Talk on a mobile and the other mobile won't be upset, do you understand?! Please don't take this in a bad way, but it's really annoying!" He paused. "Never leave a phone on silent, you can change the bloody ringtone whenever you bloody want! You can even put the phone in your pocket, but my wife never bloody listens to me! After getting an old wan, you can sell it for a new one, but no, my wife does not listen!"
Harry and Mini were sighing, and Mini was about to burst into tears because Mr Downes wouldn't stop shouting. Harry offered Mr Downes some berries, ripe, sweet, and straight from the shop.
"Thank you!" Mr Downes said, snatching the berries off him. "Now, you both just fill in the form and I'll sign it
!"
Harry's mouth was full of berries. "I'm ... Harry Rodgers," he scoffed.
"Are you Harry Burnham, a music director?" Mr Downes exclaimed. "Oh, I'm such a big fan of you! I'm only alive because I listen to your music, otherwise I would have died! Oh, Harry, mate!"
Mini was beckoning to Harry to try and make Mr Downes shut up. Harry nodded.
"Look, I'm not Harry Burnham, whoever that is." Harry's tone of voice was foul. "I'm Inspector Harry Rodgers, emphasis on the Rodgers!" He leaned closer. "Inspector Harry Rodgers!" he repeated.
"Inspector?" Mr Downes repeated, looking as if he was about to burst into tears. "Did my wife send you here? Oh, sir, I don't fight with her or anything, I'm a really good husband! Sometimes people do get a bad impression of me and my wife takes it wrongly ..."
"I'm here in reference of a case!" Harry interrupted, breaking Mr Downes off his sentence. "And I want to ask you some questions!"
"Okay," Mr Downes replied vaguely.
"Sweetie," Harry beckoned to Mini. Mini nodded, and handed over a photograph of Alice to Mr Downes.
"Hmm, why has she got sandals on her head?" Mr Downes asked, and then realized that the photograph was upside down. Embarrassed, he turned it back the right way around.
"Do you recognize this lady?" Harry asked him.
"Yes!" Mr Downes exclaimed. "So many days ago, she came here to get married!"
Harry nodded, and then Mini handed over a photograph of Noah. "Did she come with this man?" Harry asked.
"No, no, no, no!" Mr Downes denied. "She didn't come with him, that man looks pretty decent to me, a good person. However, the person that she did get married to was a very angry man! He hit my photographer, and then smashed his camera on to the floor so that we couldn't take any pictures of him! Very bad! Very bad!"
Harry scratched his chin. "What did the man look like?" he asked.
"Well, he had two feet, two eyes, two hands ..." Mr Downes began. "But he only had one nose. He looked like a man, I'm not lying."
Harry and Mini were about to burst out laughing.
"You're going to have to go with us to Dublin. There, one of our departments artists will make a sketch of your description," Harry sighed.
Mr Downes grinned. "I don't have a problem with going, Sir, but there's no point of making a sketch since I managed to get his photograph! Take a look at the photograph and make a sketch, you know what I mean?"
Mini gasped. "You've got a photo of him?!"
"Yes, yes!" Mr Downes exclaimed. "Whenever someone does some crazy stuff with us, we just go to the CCTV and grab a photo from there!" He opened up the file and handed it over to them.
Mini looked as if she was about to faint. It was a CCTV photograph of Alice - with Ronan. "Sir, this is Ronan!" she piped up. "But Alice told us that she got married to Noah!"
"Ronan is crazy," Harry murmured. "He's that flower I was talking about at the funeral."
"Oh, that's nothing! My wife made me shrink from six foot to five foot!" Mr Downes laughed.
"Thank you, Mr Downes. Take care of your wife." Harry and Mini got up on their feet and shook hands with Mr Downes.
"You're welcome!" Mr Downes said a little too enthusiastically.
CHAPTER FORTY
UNCOVERING THE TRUTH
Ronan and Alice were riding a little boat across the sea. Alice was wearing a stripy blue bikini and Ronan was wearing some swimming tanks,
"Faster, faster!" Alice giggled, wrapping her arms around Ronan's waist, the light vrum vrumming of the engine calming her. They both had a water fight with some of the water in the sea. They were both soaked, and both of them were literally laughing their heads off.
Ronan chuckled and they both laughed together playfully, then made their way back to the sand with their arms around each other. Alice was still giggling. She laughed so much that water began spurting out of her nose.
"Good morning!" came a voice. Alice and Ronan spun around and to their utter shock, they saw Harry Rodgers and Mini. Harry was drinking at a table and Mini was smirking. "If you want, you can join us!" Harry called.
"Inspector!" Ronan called uncomfortably, though he tried to put as much enthusiasm into his voice as he could. "What a nice surprise!" He nodded at Mini. "Ma'am." They walked over to Harry, trying to make up an excuse about what was going on. "The thing is, after Noah's death, Alice was feeling a bit low, so ..."
"So with your hands in each others hands you thought you'd do some flirting on the beach, huh?" Harry grinned.
"So cute," Mini commented.
"Yeah, cute!" Harry agreed, only wishing that Mini would love him too. He remembered his huge rejection when he was at the beach.
Harry was lying down on the sunbed, with a white cap on his head, and he was casually drinking more coconut milk. Then, he saw an irresistible lady, wearing a pink polka dot bikini, and was walking down to the beach to join him after swimming in the sea.
Harry gazed at her in awe.
It was Mini. She sat down on to the sunbed next to Harry, towel drying her hair. Harry was still staring at her, as if his eyes were glued to the spot.
"What is it, Sir?" Mini laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Mini," Harry began, "what do you think of me?"
"Genius, sir," Mini replied.
"Mate, oh, mate, I know that all ready! How many times have I told you not to say the things that I all ready know again and again! It makes me feel embarrassed, mate!" A wide grin stretched across his face, and he sat up straight. "Say something else."
"Sir, could I ask you something?" Mini said suddenly.
"Yes, ask away!" Harry thought that she was about to ask him something about how good looking he was, or how charming he was, or how kind he was, something like that.
"Sir, you know on that marriage certificate, how did you see the difference in the signatures but I didn't?" Mini looked as if she was about to burst into tears. "Why isn't my mind sharp like yours, Sir?"
"That's because you have a really big problem, Mini!" Harry scolded, folding his arms, bothered.
"You always tell me that I've got a problem, so how about today, you actually tell me what my problem is?!" Mini smiled.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Mini?" Harry asked randomly.
"Sir, how can I have a boyfriend?" Mini replied innocently. "I stay with you for the whole day!"
"That is exactly what your problem is!" Harry snapped. "You've crossed the line of life's silver lining! You don't have a boyfriend, you haven't got married! What are you going to do with yourself, you sexy piece of shit?"
Mini laughed. "Sir, you haven't got married yet, either!" she said pointedly.
"Yes, but I socialize a lot!" Harry began to grin again. "Look," he said, sitting next to her, "boy's aren't just about what they appear to be on the outside. Their bodies also play a role in their personality. They hunger. Their body gets frustrated when they can't get what they want. And they don't concentrate when they're thinking about it."
"I don't understand," Mini frowned.
"Look, there's things that I say that you won't understand in that little brain of yours. It has to be practical." The word practical gave Harry a sudden inspiration. "Come on inside and I'll show you, come on." He smiled widely.
There was a cabin with a bed inside it.
"Think that you're with your boyfriend, right?" Harry began. "He comes closer to you, grabs your hands and throws his hat off." He did exactly what he was saying.
"Sir, left side or right side?" Mini asked.
"Oh, just come to me!" Harry growled, and then he hugged her tight. "How are you feeling?" he whispered.
Mini pulled away from the hug. "It feels good," she admitted.
"Then, he kisses your neck," Harry continued, leaning in to kiss Mini's neck, but she backed away a little.
"Sir," she piped up, "left side or right side?"
"Any side!" Harry was getting impatient now. He kissed her neck. "How are you feeling?"
&
nbsp; "It feels very good, Sir!" Mini exclaimed.
"Then, he kisses your lips," Harry grinned, getting really excited, and he leaned in, but Mini backed away again.
"Sir," she said, "there is no left or right here, so I think we should stop now."
Harry looked disappointed. "Why?!" he cried. "Don't you like me?!"
"Sir, it's got nothing to do with that," Mini smiled. "I don't like you in that way. I want you as my God."
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