I don’t look any better, though. There are scratches all over my arms from the branches of the trees we hiked through, my eyes feel heavy, and my jeans are torn on both knees. “Maybe we should all take a breather and get cleaned up or something,” I say, trying to ease the tension.
Laylen shifts his weight uncomfortably as Aislin continues to stare him down.
Evan moves up in front of us all, blinking the tiredness from his eyes. “Don’t you think the most important thing now is not,” he rolls his eyes, “girlfriend, boyfriend drama, or taking a breather, but figuring out what the hell just happened back there.” He points at the window, like the castle is somehow going to pop into view.
Aislin stomps over to the torn sofa and plops onto it, picking up one of the throw pillows and placing it on her lap. She absentmindedly plucks at it. “Fine, you have a point.” She glances up at Evan. “Wait, who are you?”
Evan sticks out his arm and shows her the marks on his skin. “What? You don’t remember me?”
Aislin eyes him over very closely and then a grin touches her lips. “Evan.” She jumps up and throws her arms around him, hugging him. “God, it’s been forever.”
Laylen glances at me, raising his eyebrows, and I catch a ping of jealousy in his expression. They continue to hug and finally Laylen gets annoyed enough that he moves over and pulls on Aislin, breaking up their moment.
I smile to myself because I know it’ll make Aislin happy, knowing he’s jealous. Sometimes it bothers her—Laylen and my relationship—even if we’re just friends.
She sits down on the couch and grabs the pillow again; then Laylen sits down beside her with a territorial look in his eyes. “So, what happened to you two?” he asks, and then looks at me. “You know it’s been days since you took off?”
I nod, flopping down on the sofa opposite of theirs. “Things got complicated.”
“Complicated?” Evan elevates his eyebrows. “It looked like there was a freaking war breaking out back there.” He hitches his thumb over his shoulder at the window, again pretending like we’re right by the castle.
“That’s because I think there was,” I mutter, rubbing my tired eyes.
He slips his jacket off, sighing, as he tosses it onto the cracked coffee table, then he situates himself in one of the sitting chairs just in front of the window. He kicks his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back and closing his eyes. “You guys’ world is freaking complicated. You know that?”
The three of us give overly exaggerated nods. “Yes,” we say in sync.
He shakes his head, probably wishing he didn’t get dragged into it. “So… how do we get rid of the Faeries?”
I shrug. “I have no idea.”
Laylen says, “Maybe we should try to shut the portal down.” He drapes his arm around Aislin’s shoulder, pulling her in as she frowns with a guilty look on her face. “Uh… yeah, sorry about that. I thought I had fixed that little problem… I thought I closed the portal.” She examines her nails closely, pretending to be deeply fixated on them. “Guess I was wrong.”
Laylen grabs her hand and squeezes it. “It doesn’t really matter... It is what it is. We just need to fix it. Besides, I know why you did it. You wanted to save your sister.” He looks around the room curiously. “Which, by the way, where is Aleesa?”
Tears start bubbling in Aislin’s eyes and her head falls forward. “She’s dead.”
Laylen’s eyes widen and he looks to me for confirmation. I nod and he focuses his attention back at Aislin with a heart-warming, compassionate expression on his face as he pulls her into him and lets her bury her face against his chest and cry her heart out.
Evan looks a little less compassionate. “What happened to you two?” he asks me.
Sighing I give them a quick recap about what happened over the last few days. He listens intently and when I’m finished, he gapes at me, along with Laylen.
“What’s the matter?” I ask. Sure I just told them a lot of crazy things, but it wasn’t any crazier than everything else we have—and are—going through.
“You really promised the Fey you’d return and help them fight against Luna?” Laylen stares at me with amplified eyes as he runs his hand up and down Aislin’s back while she weeps into his shirt.
“Um… yeah... Why? What’s wrong?” I glance at Evan, he looks just as horrified.
“It was a really stupid thing to do,” Evan says, shaking his head. “Really, really stupid.”
“Would someone please tell me what’s going on.” I’m beginning to panic because I can tell I’ve done something bad—something I’m going to regret.
Evan leans forward, resting his arms on his knees, his bangs hanging in his dark eyes, one of which is bruised. “Challenging the Empress is really bad. When you challenge the Empress, you fight to the death. Only one of you is going to be able to walk away.”
“But I didn’t challenge her,” I say in an off-pitched voice. “I just said I’d help them.”
Evan shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. It’s viewed as one and the same.”
I swallow the enormous lump wedged in my throat. “Is there a way to get out of it?”
Laylen studies me as Aislin elevates her head up, blinking at me with tear-stained eyes. “There may be a way…” He considers something with his forehead creased. “Like maybe a loophole or something.”
Evan shakes his head again and reclines back in the chair. “There’s no way out of this. You made the promise to the Fey in their Kingdom, which means you’re bound to the promise. There’s no breaking it.”
I take in what he says, feeling my body crack and fall apart, the pieces breaking and scattering across the dirty floor. “So, that’s it? I have to fight Luna? Like with weapons? And then what? I either kill her or be killed?”
No one responds and I have my answer. I feel frustration bursting up inside me. I want to scream. Let it all out. I open my mouth and huff in a breath, but when I let it out, no sound comes out. Maybe that means I’m done. Done with everything. Done with fighting.
Maybe I’m giving up.
Chapter 34
Laylen
I’m getting sick of Faeries, chaos, and the never ending need to suck blood. Sure, I have my blood lust under control for the most part, but, every once in a while, when I get really stressed, it slips out. Like now.
I have the urge to feed off all three of them, more the girls than Evan. I can see and hear their pulses beating against their necks, smell their blood. I’m distracted, and maybe that’s why I ask Gemma what happened first.
I know Aislin’s going to get upset, but it kind of just slips out of me. Then, everyone’s staring at me like I’m an asshole and I realize I am. The longer the conversation goes on, the worse I feel, especially when Aislin tells me Aleesa’s dead.
No one really knew her that well, but it still kind of hurts. Deaths always do.
After we’re done talking, I carry Aislin up the stairs and into one of the spare rooms. She’s asleep, drained dry from all the stuff going on. When I set her on the bed, she mumbles something about me and then rolls to her side. I sweep her hair back, looking at her, and I mean really looking at her. She’s beautiful, sad, and crazy, just like Gemma. I have feelings for her, just like I do Gemma. They both deserve happy lives and I really hope they’ll both get to that point, where death won’t be just over their shoulder. Where they can smile, laugh and do whatever makes them happy. I wish nothing except the best for them. They can grow old, have kids, start a family.
That’s when I realize what I need to do. I don’t need to decide between them. I need to let them both go because that future isn’t in the cards for me.
I get up off the bed, letting out a loud breath, finally accepting what’s been in front of me for the last few years.
The beginning of my never-ending life.
Chapter 35
Gemma
It’s getting late and, although I’m beyond tired, I’m too restless to go to be
d. Laylen carried Aislin upstairs and they’ve been up there for a while. I think losing Aleesa and Alex might be taking a toll on her.
Evan and I go into the kitchen and I rummage through the teal cupboards, looking for some food. All I end up finding is a moldy loaf of bread, a roll of toilet paper, and a few cans of soup. I decide on the soup, heating them over the stove in the can, since the pans have been thrown outside on the back porch for some strange reason. At least the bowls and silverware are still here to eat out of.
Evan quickly slurps his down, using a bent spoon, which he bent himself as a demonstration of one of his powers. It’s all fun and entertaining to watch and a nice breather, but once it’s over, life sits on my chest again.
I stir my soup, watching the noodles go round and round, thinking about the conversation I had with my dad about resetting time. Part of me wants to do it; give up everything on the whim that it’ll be better, but what if it’s not. What if it’s worse? What if people still end up dying, and Alex and I aren’t together?
Forever. The word echoes through my head and I swear to God it’s like he’s whispering it to me.
“Wow, you really were somewhere else, weren’t you?” Evan’s voice crashes through my thoughts. He scoots back from the chair and carries his bowl over to the sink.
“Sorry,” I apologize and pick up my mostly full bowl, dropping it in the sink. As little as I’ve eaten over the last few days, my stomach still feels nauseous.
“Did you even eat anything?” He leans down, examining my eyes. “Are you sick? You look sick.”
“I think it’s just nerves.” I yawn, stretching my arms above my head.
“Maybe you should get some sleep?”
“Nah, I couldn’t even if I tried… my mind is too wired.”
“About the battle?”
I shake my head. “Honestly, that’s the last thing on my mind.” I lean back against the counter, staring at the floor. “Do you ever wonder… nah, never mind.” I wave myself off and start to head for the doorway, figuring I can at least try to sleep.
Evan scoots to the side, blocking my path. “Finish what you were going to say.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t important.”
He scans my expression with a perplexed look on his face. “No, I think it is… I’m picking up a vibe.”
“A vibe?”
“You’d be surprised how many things I can do.”
I scratch at my neck. “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you’d done things differently?”
He rests back against the counter, gripping onto the edge. “Like made different decisions?”
I mull over the best way to describe it. “No… like if different decisions had been made for you.”
Now I’ve really confused him. “I don’t get what you’re saying. You make your own decisions.”
“Not always,” I say. “Sometimes there are circumstances… people who interfere… and your life kind of ends up out of your hands.”
“Is that what happened with you?”
“You’ve never been told my back story?”
He shrugs. “Vaguely. I mean, I know you had the Star in you and then you and Alex saved the world from his crazy father.”
“There was a lot more to it than that,” I utter quietly. “There were a lot of years of suffering… years we can’t get back.”
He motions his hand forward. “But you can move on. Make the ones ahead of you count.”
“But what if you try…” I huff a frustrated breath. “What if I try so damn hard, to live a normal life, but, no matter what I do, things always fall apart? Because everything seems connected. Sure we got rid of the Star, but in doing so we let Helena know about our souls. So there’s another problem. In the midst of that, we freed a bunch of Faeries, so there’s another one. Then there’s the fact that, because of the Star, Alex made a bargain with Draven. Because Helena possessed me, after she found out about my soul, Nicholas ended up trapped in the City of Crystal. My father’s stuck in his own mind because Stephan wanted the Star’s power. Laylen was turned into a vampire for the same reason.” I take a deep breath, sucking air in through my starved lungs. “Everything seems to be connected to that damn Star. It’s like a set of freaking dominoes. Knock one down and slowly they all tumble—things fall apart… and what if…” The next part is hard to say. “What if they continue to fall? Forever.”
He’s quiet for an eternity, biting his lip. I wonder if all my twisted thoughts and yammering have scared him off. Then, he walks over to the doorway, sticking his head out and angling his neck back, peering up at the stairs.
I walk up behind him. “What are you doing?”
He looks satisfied as he turns back to me, placing his fingers to his lips. “There might be something you can do,” he says in a hushed voice as he treads back over to the table. He takes a seat and I join him. “But it doesn’t come without a price.”
I scoot the chair in and lean closer. “Everything comes with a price, but it’s worth it sometimes. Trust me, I know.”
A loud noise comes from upstairs and he jumps to his feet, shaking his head. “Is there somewhere we can talk… somewhere private… I’m not supposed to be telling you this.”
I don’t point out that he hasn’t really told me anything. I get to my feet and take him outside, walking back to the garage and noting how silent the neighborhood is; aching with loneliness. I flip on the light and then shut the door behind us. Then, we take a seat on a couple of old patio chairs that are shoved away in the back in front of my old car.
“Good enough?” I ask, scooting the chair closer to him.
He bites his lip again, jiggling his knee nervously. “Who knows?” He lets out a deep breath and then crosses his arms over his chest. “I have to ask you a question first, and then I’ll decide if I’m going to spill my secrets.” He pauses. “Do you really believe that there is a way to stop all of this, put everything back—the Fey, the Lost Souls? Do you think you can find a way to save Alex from Draven, and make the world a peaceful place, or whatever the hell you want to call it?”
I shift uncomfortably in my chair. “I’d love to say, yes, but after what I told you in the kitchen, I think you already know my answer.”
He shakes his head at me. “But I need to hear you say it. And really mean it, if you do.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me that it’s important.”
I’m not sure I trust him. I mean, I barely know him, but he has this look in his eyes, like he’s almost begging me to do it. Say the words and free him from whatever he’s about to say.
My thoughts drift to everything I’ve been through with Alex, Laylen, and Aislin. I want to believe that we can fix everything—save the world and make it a better place—but deep down, I know that problems are piling up, and really, there’s only so much four people can do. Well five, if you count Evan.
“The truth?” I ask and he nods his head once. “No, I don’t think we can fix it. I think we can fix some of the things, but when it all comes down to it, there’s just too much, and it seems like more and more problems are being added to the plate. It’s going to break eventually.”
“And what do you see happening when it breaks?” He holds my gaze.
I shrug. “Mass chaos. Destruction. The usual.”
He shakes his head. “No, what do you see?”
I sit forward in the chair, stunned. “Are you asking me to use my Foreseer power to purposefully look into the future? Because, I don’t do that anymore.”
“Just try it this one time, okay? I need to see… I need to know if something I saw is right.”
I gape at him. “You can see visions, too?”
He stares at me like I’m a moron and then traces the “S” wrapped by a circle marking his upper arm. “I do have Foreseer power.”
I relax back in the chair. “I hate looking at things… knowing how it could turn out.”
“Gemma, just listen to him,�
�� my father whispers inside my head. “It’s important. Please.”
I blink my eyes at the sound of my father’s voice. “I can’t… please don’t make me.”
Evan gives me a funny look. “I’m not making you do anything.”
I shake my head at him. “I’m not talking to you.”
The Evanescence (Fallen Soul Series) Page 17