It rushes through me, like razor sharp poison, jagged edges catching my skin, tearing me apart on the inside. Everything. Every blissful moment. Every promise. Every kiss. Hug. Word. Touch. Breath. Every single second I’ve spent with him, will be gone. I won’t know it.
Tears start to fall from my eyes as I grasp the entire situation of what I’m about to do.
“Gemma, I—” he starts, but the sound of a voice cuts him off.
“I know you’re in here, Evan.”
“Is that Alex?” I whisper and then I turn, starting to run towards the sound of his voice.
“Come out and play!” Alex yells and then lets out a cackling laugh.
Evan snags the back of my shirt and yanks me back. “Wait a second. That sounds like Alex, but it might not be.”
“Of course, it’s him,” I say, trying to pry his fingers off my shirt. I need to go to him, feel him, know that everything I thought was just a lie. “It sounds just like him.” I pinch his fingers hard, but he refuses to release me. “Would you let me go?”
He shakes his head sharply. “Stay here and I’ll go check… we need to make sure he’s not… he’s not a Lord.”
It nearly kills me to do it, the need to be near him so consuming, it’s maddening. “Hurry.”
Before he leaves he grabs my hand and places the watch into my palm. “Just in case.”
I close my hand around the cold metal. “But what about your power? Don’t I need it?”
Evan closes his eyes and places a hand on each of my cheeks. I don’t breathe as a warm sensation spills over my body and floods through my veins like hot wax. My adrenaline surges, thudding through my body powerfully as my skin begins to crawl. Without moving my head, I look down at my arms and hands, turning them over with my mouth open in awe.
My pale skin is covered in lines, shapes, intricate patterns that create mark after mark; all connected, yet, all separate at the same time. They glow in different colors; blue, purple, violet, green, even black. “It’s amazing,” I whisper.
Evan lowers his hands from my face, rolls up his sleeves, and turns his arms over. His once marked skin is now bare, like freshly fallen snow. Sighing, he rolls his sleeves back down. “It’s weird, but I actually kind of miss them.”
I trace my finger along a spirally mark on the back of my hand. “So that’s it?”
He nods, backing for the door. “That’s it.”
I step forward and grab his arm. “Wait, you can’t protect yourself now. If Alex is a Lord…” I think of my vision and Alex standing over our bodies. “He might hurt you.”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. When you reset time, I can be alive or dead and it doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I mutter under my breath, gripping the watch in my hand as I watch him walk away. When he reaches the doorway, he turns and doesn’t look back as he disappears into the hallway.
“Well, well, there you are,” I hear Alex say and deep down in my heart, I know it’s not him. He’s gone. Alex is gone.
I inch around large pieces of collapsed ceiling and stop near the doorway, needing to see him one last time. I take a deep breath and, pressing my back against the wall, I peek around the corner.
Over the balcony, I spot Alex in the foyer. He’s dressed in black, his hair is slicked back, looking greasy, and his nails are even painted black. He looks just like the Alex from my vision, his expression equally as cold.
Evan is keeping his distance, staying in the middle of the stairway with his arms tucked to his sides. “Dude, what the hell happened to you?” Evan asks, eyeing him over.
Alex stares at him blankly. “I should be asking you the same thing.” He takes a step forward, winding around the broken chandelier. “Did you seriously just give up your powers?”
Evan’s jaw drops. “What? I didn’t.”
Alex’s taps the back of his hand as he reaches the bottom of the stairway. “Then, where did they go?”
Evan raises his bare hand in front of him, turning it over. “I didn’t,” is all he says.
Alex’s lips curl into a grin and his once green eyes are like coals. Raising his hands, he claps them together and I watch in horror as mummified bodies creep out from the holes in the floors, drop down from the roof, the doorways, they even barrel clumsily in through the broken windows. Dragging their legs, they enclose around Evan and the last thing I hear from him is a painful scream.
I start to turn away, shaking in fear, when Alex’s eyes lock on me. I expect him to shout, order them to take me out, but all he does is smile. Shaking my head, I whirl to run, holding the watch, ready to do what I have to do, but when I turn around, I slam into something rock hard.
I push away, but fingers dig into my wrist, tugging me closer.
“Well hello, beautiful.” Alex tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, his head tilted as he assesses me with his chilled eyes. He breathes in deep, briefly shutting his eyes. “Your scent… your soul is intoxicating.” His eyes open and a grin curves at his lips.
“It’s your soul, too,” I say, trying to wrench away. “You and I share each other’s, in case you can’t remember.”
His gaze rises to the ceiling as he thinks about what I said. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have a soul.” His eyes move back to me. “But I can’t wait to take yours.”
“Oh, pretty please, let me play with her first.” The Banshee, who I’ve seen in my dreams—visions—many times, emerges from the end of the hallway. She’s wearing a tight dress and her hair flows down her shoulders. She struts up to me and runs her nails along my cheek. “Pretty please.”
Alex sighs. “Give me a minute and you can do whatever you want with her… but I want to do this one alone.”
She pouts. “But you promised I could play.”
“I know, beautiful, but…” He looks at me. “I really, really want this one.”
A gagging noise escapes my throat as I dry heave. “Seriously? Beautiful? Oh my God, that’s disgusting.”
She shoots me a cold, hard stare and raises her hand to slap me, but quicker than my eye can register, Alex knocks her to the ground and then his hands are back on me. The Banshee is out cold as he backs me down the hall until I hit the wall.
He studies me forever with a perplexed look on his face and then he licks his lips. “I think I’m going to really enjoy this.”
Shaking my head, tears start to slip from my eyes. I hate the look in his eyes—hate seeing him like this. “Alex, it’s me, Gemma. You… you don’t want to do this. You love me.”
His forehead creases and then he sputters a laugh. “Love? Seriously, love’s a bunch of bullshit.” He sighs and then leans in, presses his body against mine. “It was a nice try, though. The best I’ve seen.” He places a hand on my neck with a smile on his face. “I do feel a little bad, if that makes you feel better.” His nails dig into my skin and I feel it rupture. Blood spills out as my bones threaten to crack. His muscles tighten as he strangles me harder, his brows furrowing when I don’t fight back.
I can’t fight back. There’s no fight left in me. I wonder if he can feel it. He said he started to feel and see the things I saw. I wonder if he feels my love and knows that all I see is him.
“What’s wrong with you?” He growls, loosening his grip, then tightening it again, like he’s conflicted on whether to strangling me or not. “Don’t you want to try and live?”
I don’t move. In fact, I hold my own breath as my blood trails down his arms. Death consumes me, owns me, starts to drag me away, and right when I’m on the verge of taking my last breath, I whisper through my tears, “I’m sorry.”
I’ll never know if he would have finished me off or if his confliction would have won him over. I’ll never know how strong our love is because, if he did kill me, it’s the end. There’d be nothing.
I summon a deep breath and then I let the power flow from my body, the one that kills, not wounds, because I don’t want to mess it up. I let the poison slip through my sk
in and enter him, coat him with death, steal his air. I kill him. I take his life, sobbing, my heart dying with him.
Gasping, he lets go of me, glancing at his skin and the black vines snaking across him. “What did you…” His eyes roll back and he gasps, crumbling to the floor. And just like that, he’s dead. My one love, my soul mate, my forever, is dead.
I could crawl to him. Cry. Mourn.
I don’t.
I open the watch and stare at the hands moving around and around. In the center of the numbers is a pin-size silver button. I keep my focus on it, and the power flowing inside my body, as every single mark lights up and the power connects. My lungs expand to the max, filling with air as I press down while shutting my eyes and everything leaves me. Alex. My parents. My friends. Everyone. They’re all gone. And so is the anger, the happiness, the longing, the need, the anguish, the guilt, the pain. It dissipates, like moments in time, the kind that happen so quickly, they blow away in the wind like dandelion seeds
You’regoing to do great things, but it’ll be hard. You’ll be tested, more than you already have.
I think of the moment in time when everything changed. A moment that caused so much evil. The moment the Star fell from the sky. Then, I picture it never falling, disappearing, vanishing into thin air. I concentrate on that moment as warmth spreads throughout my body and I feel time fading, like the morning mist.
Evanescence.
For a second, I feel myself fade with it. There’s bright light, followed by a shift.
Then, it’s all gone.
Epilogue
Gemma
I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring, firing off like a siren. Covering my head with my pillow, I feel my way across the nightstand and slam my hand onto the off button. I lie in bed for a few extra minutes before I give up on going back to sleep and climb out of bed. My room is my favorite place in the house; my walls are covered with posters and pictures of all the places I’ve been. Some of them I’m alone. Others I’m with Aislin, Laylen, and Alex. There are even some where I’m with Evan and Aleesa, but that was before they decided to get engaged and move to Australia.
I’ll admit my room’s a little cluttered. I probably have the biggest music collection that’s ever existed and I also collect guitar picks from all the band members I’ve managed to meet. It’s Aislin’s and my thing. We’ve been sneaking off to see concerts since we were sixteen and could drive; we make it our mission to come home with a guitar pick.
I walk over to my dresser and pull out a pair of shorts and a tank top, but then I drop them to the floor, remembering where I’m supposed to go tonight. Instead, I go to my closet and throw open the doors. I grab the dress Aislin picked out for me. “It’s the perfect dress,” she said when we were out shopping.
It was perfect, for a dress anyway; violet, like my eyes, with thin straps and fabric as soft as velvet. I put it on and glance at myself in the mirror. It’s a little short and I can see way more of my long legs than I want to, but that’s okay. I know someone who will be glad I showed up looking like this.
I leave my hair down because he says he loves it that way, then trace my eyes with black liner, put some mascara on, and then lace up my combat boots (hey, I got to keep some part of me). Then, I head down to the kitchen, breathing in the scent of freshly baked bread.
My dad’s leaning over the stove with his head bent as he mixes something in a pan. I sneak up behind him and give him a big hug, squeezing him tightly. “Good morning.”
He jumps, startled, and nearly spills what’s in the bowl. “Oh, Gemma, it’s you… Good God, you frightened me.” Shaking his head, he turns back to the bowl. “And what do you mean, good morning. It’s already dinner time.”
“It’s morning for me.” I grab an apple from a basket and take a bite.
“Yeah, I don’t get you kids these days,” he says, checking the timer on the oven. “You stay up all night, so you can sleep all day.”
“More things happen at night,” I reply, rummaging through the fridge.
He sighs, tiredly. He hates that I go out with the Keepers. I think, deep down, he hoped I’d turn out to be a Foreseer like him. “Well, just be careful.”
Grinning, I give him a joking salute as I bump the fridge door shut with my hip. “Yes, sir.”
He offers me a tolerant smile, and then eyes my dress warily. “Are you really wearing that tonight?”
I can’t help smiling as I toss my half-eaten apple into the trash. Most kids would hate their parents being so over-protective, but I’ve never cared. In fact, I actually kind of love it. It means they love me and love is a fabulous thing. It makes life complete. “Dad, I’m almost nineteen. Besides, where I’m going tonight, I’ll stand out like a sore thumb if I didn’t dress like this.” I do a little twirl.
He covers his ears, shaking his head. “I don’t want to hear about it. I know you’re a Keeper, but to me, you’re still my little girl.”
I smile and give him a quick hug. “I love you.”
He pats my back and smiles. “I love you, too.”
Headlights light up the driveway as I pull back. “That’s Aislin,” I say, heading for the door as she honks the car horn. “I gotta go.”
“Be careful,” he says. “Please.”
“I always am.” I grab my leather jacket off the coat rack.
He looks like he wants to tell me to stay, but he doesn’t. When I swing the door open, my mom’s walking up the porch.
“Hey, sweetie,” she says, struggling to carry the grocery bags. “Can you hold that open for a second.”
I hold a finger up at Aislin, indicating I’ll be a just a moment, and then step back to hold the door open for my mom.
She stumbles over the threshold and then drops the bags to the floor. I think I hear a jar break, but my mom doesn’t seem to care. She’s pretty lenient and laid back like that.
“God, it smells good in here.” She breathes in the scent of bread as she kicks the bags out of the way. She gives my dad a quick kiss on the cheek and then places her hands on her hips as she turns to me. “You look nice. Are you going out tonight?”
“Yeah, to kick some ass,” I joke, making some ninja moves.
She laughs, but my dad scowls. “Be careful, please.”
My mom rolls her eyes at him and then mouths at me, have fun.
Nodding, I start to head out when she catches my arm. “Oh yeah, and I forgot to tell you that, that little thing we were talking about is going to happen tonight.”
“The inauguration,” I whisper, leaning closer to her so my dad won’t hear us and get frustrated.
She nods, looking excited. “Yeah, so be ready to really kick some ass.”
Smiling, I hug her and then head out. When I make it to the front of the car, blinded by the headlights of Laylen’s GTO, Aislin sticks her head out the driver’s side window.
“Would you hurry your ass up?” she shouts with laughter in her tone. “I’m growing old here.”
I start walking slower just to tease her and then run over and hop into the passenger side. The radio is blasting, ‘The Hand that Feeds’ by Nine Inch Nails; totally Laylen’s music, not hers.
“Damn, sexy mama, you look good,” she says as she shoves the shifter into reverse.
“You do, too,” I tell her, holding onto the door handle for support because Aislin drives like a mad woman.
She’s wearing a short, navy blue dress with black knee-high boots and her hair is pulled into a sleek ponytail. She usually doesn’t wear black, but where we’re going tonight, pink isn’t in the dress code.
When we reach the end of the driveway, she fishtails onto the road and floors the gas, spinning the tires. It’s late, the sky is black and the stars are twinkling above us. I watch them as she flies down the streets, heading towards the club we’re meeting the guys at.
“So, how did you talk him into letting you use his car?” I ask, changing the song on the iPod.
She makes kissing face
s and waggles her eyebrows at me. “I can be very persuasive.”
I snort a laugh, shaking my head, and I feel my nerves bubble inside me the closer we get to the building. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him since it happened and, even though I don’t regret it, I'm a little jittery, wondering how he’s going to act towards me. Will he be the same? Different?
“So my mom called like an hour ago,” she says, craning the wheel to make a right turn.
“Oh, how is she?” I keep my tone light, even though the subject is heavy.
Aislin and Alex’s mom and dad are getting a divorce, basically because their dad’s a douche and cheats on her all the time. It’s a sensitive subject, one neither of them really bring up.
The Evanescence (Fallen Soul Series) Page 19