Pretend You're Mine

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Pretend You're Mine Page 21

by Crystal Kaswell


  “Grades in?” he asks.

  I nod.

  “What’d you get?”

  “An A.”

  “You’re on your way.” He motions to the plate of pancakes. “Blow it out.”

  “Do you really make a wish for this?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Says who?”

  “Me.”

  “Fair enough.”

  God, the pride in his eyes. It does something to me.

  It makes the world into a beautiful place.

  I let my eyelids flutter together, I lean in, and I make a wish.

  I want to have him forever.

  I blow the candle out.

  “I know you’re gonna leave soon.” He hands me my fork. “And, fuck, I’m gonna miss you. It’s gonna suck not seeing you all day. But I’m happy for you.”

  “Not that soon.”

  “Where’d you find time to do all those designs?”

  “I wasn’t exactly sleeping.”

  “And now?”

  I shake my head. “I can’t. Not yet.” I cut off a slice of pancake and bring it to my lips. Mmm. Sweet, fluffy, fruity perfection. “Inked Hearts is the only place that’s ever felt like home.”

  He nods I get that.

  But his eyes scream you need to move on.

  Chapter 30

  Leighton

  Dean launches into a slow clap.

  His eyes find mine as I step inside. He raises a brow. How was it?

  I nod to Ryan. What do you think?

  He shrugs who knows. His attention turns to Walker—who’s standing at the counter next to him. They share one of those best friend looks.

  Walker fights a chuckle, but he doesn’t make it.

  He laughs as he joins Dean’s slow clap.

  Then Brendon steps out from his suite—what is he doing here this early?—and surveys the scene. He shoots me his usual paternal look. “These idiots bothering you?”

  “No.” I fight my smile. This is sweet in a Dean kind of way, but it’s so not his business. “They’re just confused. They don’t know what a satisfied woman looks like.”

  Walker mimes rolling up his sleeves. “Those would be fighting words if I thought you meant them.”

  “I mean Dean.” I laugh.

  Walker nods. “It’s new for him. You’ll have to give him a minute.”

  Dean jumps—actually jumps—onto the counter. Continues his slow clap. “Sorry, babe, but that is not a satisfied woman.” He looks to his brother. “Tell me you didn’t skimp on the manual—”

  Ryan cuts him off. “I’ll tell you to get the fuck to work.”

  “I’m not working today,” Dean says.

  “Go fuck with someone else.” Ryan feigns irritation, but his smile breaks through.

  Brendon shoots me that same paternal look. “You and Ryan?”

  “Yeah.” I brush my hair behind my ear. “Does anyone else have an opinion?”

  “No. It’s good.” He offers me a hug.

  I lean into the gesture.

  He whispers in my ear. “You sure you know what you’re getting into?”

  “You know how it is when you can’t get over someone.” I pull back. Turn to Dean. It’s impressive how obnoxious he is standing up there clapping. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

  “Or get your ass kicked.” Walker motions to Brendon and Ryan. “He’s overdue.”

  “I’m a loveable scamp,” Dean says.

  “A what?” Walker asks.

  “A rogue,” Dean says.

  “Where’d you learn a D&D class?” Walker asks.

  “Nerds don’t own the word.” He jumps off the counter and turns to Ryan. “Why’d you leave your girl hanging?”

  Ryan shakes his head you’re insane if you think I’m answering that.

  Dean turns to me. “Come on, Leigh. You’ll give me the dirt.”

  “Nope.” I take my spot behind the counter. Set up.

  “Are you dating now?” Walker runs his hand through his wavy hair. “Or is this—”

  “He’s wearing last night’s clothes,” Dean says.

  Walker nods.

  “And he smells like pussy,” Dean says.

  Walker nods obviously.

  “You two fucked,” Dean says.

  “Everybody got that.” Brendon returns to his suite. “You don’t have to spell it out.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He turns, winks at me. “How good was it?”

  “Why? You place a bet on that?” I ask.

  “I would have if anyone would have taken it.” He laughs.

  “Nobody would bet against Ryan? You guys.” I press my hand to my heart. “You’re so supportive.”

  Dean motions give me the juicy details. “Let’s hear the dirt now. How many times did you come?”

  I flip him off.

  He laughs. “Can’t be good if you have all that hostility.”

  Walker shakes his head. “Just 'cause she’s on edge now doesn’t mean she didn’t come plenty last night.”

  “Sex tips from the Master Tease.” Dean laughs. “Fuck, Leigh. You better hope Ryan isn’t listening. We’ve seen Iris panting enough times to know Walker isn’t fucking around.”

  My cheeks flush. That’s exactly it. Ryan is a tease. A cruel, evil, horrible, wonderful tease.

  “Shit. Look at her face.” Dean’s eyes go wide. “Right on the money.”

  Walker chuckles. “If she’s already wanting, you’re being cruel.”

  “And when you’re on the verge of fucking your girlfriend all night?” Dean asks.

  Walker’s smile gets wicked. “Don’t look if you don’t like it.”

  “He likes it too much. He goes home and fucks himself to that shit,” Ryan says.

  Dean shrugs so what if I do?

  Ryan shoots Dean a knowing look. “You ever gonna focus on your life?”

  “My life’s exactly how I want it,” Dean says.

  Ryan shakes his head whatever you want to believe.

  “I have work.” I turn on the computer and log in. “If you’re done—”

  “Where’s the play-by-play?” Dean asks.

  I flip him off and pull up the shop’s Facebook account.

  “Fill me in.” Dean turns to Ryan. “She as kinky as she looks?”

  “You trying to get your ass kicked?” Walker asks. "'Cause my money’s on Ryan in that fight.”

  “I can bench twice what he can.” Dean feigns indignant.

  “He does karate,” Walker says.

  “Aikido,” Ryan corrects.

  “He’s got a fire. That gets you far.” Walker looks to me. “What do you think?”

  “Who wins in a fight—Dean or Ryan?” I ask.

  Walker nods exactly.

  “Ryan. He’s fighting to defend my honor. He’s motivated.” I catch his gaze. Try to figure out exactly what he’s thinking.

  But I can’t. I’m too lost in those baby blues.

  “You want me to kick his ass?” Ryan’s voice is playful.

  I shake my head. “Maybe later.”

  “My girl doesn’t want me risking my hands.” Ryan adopts a don’t fuck with me stance, but his smile stays wide. “Drop it.”

  “She’s your girl?” Dean asks.

  “Of course.” Ryan’s eyes go to the clock—twenty minutes until we open. “What are you three doing here this early?”

  Walker laughs. “Dean said we wouldn’t want to miss it.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I say.

  "'Cause I wanted to celebrate my brother finally getting laid?” Dean feigns offense.

  Ryan ignores him. “Leighton’s starting a design business. It’s new, but it’s growing fast. She’ll be full time at it soon.”

  “That’s happening?” Walker asks.

  “Yeah.” I press my lips together.

  “That’s fucking amazing,” Walker says.

  After a round of congratulatory hugs, the guys take their usual positions—Brendon leaning against the half
wall to his suite, Dean and Walker at the counter, Ryan in front of his suite, leading the meeting.

  “I am going to leave.” My lips curl into a frown. “But not yet. Not for a while.” Not until I’m sure I can do this. Even if that takes six months. Or three years. “I’ll give you two weeks notice. Promise.”

  Work takes over. I lose myself in admin, check out customers, break for lunch at the taco truck around the corner, fill my afternoon with a mix of coffee and social media.

  Sometime around four, I run out of Inked Hearts work.

  I boot up my laptop and pour myself into finishing the mock-up. It feels good getting it done, even if I still have another half a dozen rounds of small changes to go.

  I love designing covers.

  It fills me in some place that’s usually empty. Scratches an itch that’s in desperate need of attention.

  I love building my site’s social media.

  It’s a million times more engaging than flirting as I thrust my chest in the air yes, that’s so interesting, the tips are here. Oh, most people leave thirty percent, but the really generous guys leave fifty percent.

  Design is my future.

  It’s what I want.

  But running a business all by myself is still terrifying.

  Leaving Inked Hearts is still terrifying.

  Staying for a while isn’t just cowardice. It’s smart. I need to pad my savings. To make sure I can actually find enough design work to pay my rent and put food in my fridge.

  But it’s a matter of time.

  If I really want this to work, I have to devote more hours to it.

  I have to say goodbye to the only place where I belong.

  I try to focus on my cover, but it’s impossible. There’s a neon sign in my head flashing THIS IS THE END.

  Ryan finishes with his client. He stands and shakes the guy’s hand. His t-shirt—he changed in the bathroom after the meeting—pulls up his stomach as he stretches his arms over his head.

  He smiles as he catches me staring. Motions my eyes are up here. Runs a hand through his wavy hair.

  The client—a tall guy with a nervous smile—whispers something to Ryan.

  Ryan nods and motions to the counter.

  They cross the room to me. It’s all routine. Flattery, price quote, credit card, receipt, flirting, tip, smile, wave goodbye.

  The bell rings as the guy takes his leave.

  Ryan plants his palms on the black plastic. Leans over the counter to press his lips to mine.

  Mmm. He tastes so good.

  I sigh as I pull back. Everyone’s attention is turned toward us. They’re watching. Figuring out what this is.

  Ryan ignores them. “You working on a design?”

  “Are you asking as my boyfriend or my boss?”

  His smile spreads over his cheeks. “I’m your boyfriend?”

  “Aren’t you?”

  He intertwines his fingers with mine. “Of course.”

  “Okay. Good.” I slide off my stool. Press my thighs against the counter. “So who’s asking?”

  “Boyfriend.”

  “Yeah. I ran out of Inked Hearts stuff.”

  “Boss doesn’t care either.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “No. We have the same agreement. You do your Inked Hearts shit, you can do whatever you want with the rest of your time.”

  “Okay.”

  “You know how much longer you want to stay?”

  “A lot longer.”

  He brushes a hair behind my ear. “You’re gonna be great, Leigh. You’re gonna soar. Being here forty hours a week is clipping your wings.”

  “I know. But they’re my wings. I’ll leave when I’m ready. You don’t get a say.”

  “I’m being pushy?”

  “You know you’re being pushy. But I do appreciate that you have my best interests in mind.”

  “I’ll drop it.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yeah. For a while.”

  “Until after the wedding. At the very earliest.”

  “It’s soon.”

  “We leave in a week and a half,” I say.

  “You ready for that?”

  “Yeah. I think so.” It’s still at the back of my mind: what if he’s still in love with her? Most of me believes him when he says he’s over her. But there’s this ugly, jealous part of me that doesn’t believe it.

  Walker emerges from his suite and swings his backpack over one shoulder. “Clean up after.”

  My cheeks flush.

  Ryan shrugs maybe I will, maybe I won’t.

  “Damn. Ryan’s still smiling.” Walker winks at me. “You must be fucking amazing, Leighton.”

  My blush spreads to my chest.

  Ryan turns back to Walker. “You have no idea.”

  Walker chuckles as he nods goodbye.

  The door swings shut.

  But the room is still buzzing with Dean’s gun.

  Dammit, are we ever going to be alone?

  Ryan moves behind the counter. Stands next to me. “Show me what you’re working on.”

  “Are you going to do this forever?”

  “Yeah.” His fingertips brush the hem of my dress. “But I can switch to stalking you on social media if you prefer that.”

  “No. It’s sweet.” I lean into his touch. “I can work here sometimes. So, we’re still—”

  “You should.”

  “You get annoyed when Kay does that.”

  “I don’t want to make Kay come on the counter.”

  “Oh.”

  “You’re fucking adorable nervous.”

  “I don’t get nervous.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  Dean’s gun turns off. He stands. Stretches. Looks to us. “You really waiting for me to leave for the show?”

  Ryan nods.

  “Cruel.” He motions to us then turns to his customer. “What would you pay to watch that?”

  The guy chuckles. “How come you’re not constantly walking around with a black eye?”

  “Lightning fast reflexes.” He weaves to the right, dodging an invisible punch.

  He takes forever cleaning the guy up.

  Bringing him to the counter.

  Checking out.

  Packing up.

  God, he’s still here.

  Ryan leans in to whisper. “I’ll get rid of him.”

  Yes. Now.

  He motions to the bathroom. “Meet me here in ten minutes.”

  I nod.

  “Without your panties.”

  Chapter 31

  Leighton

  I leave the door open a crack, but it isn’t enough. The air conditioning drowns out Dean and Ryan’s conversation.

  I shouldn’t spy. Even if I’m desperate for more insight into Ryan’s thoughts.

  We’re still carrying on with this ruse even though it’s true. We’re still going to his ex-girlfriend’s wedding. We’re still proving some point about how over her he is.

  But he is over her. Almost.

  And he’s obliged to go. His parents are close with her parents. His parents are going to be there. I think. We haven’t exactly talked about that. More about how heinous she is. How much I want her to suffer.

  But I want her happy and far away so much more.

  I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. There’s no sense in getting jealous. Ryan is honest with me.

  He tells me what he’s thinking.

  He tells me what he wants.

  Right now, he wants to throw me on the counter and fuck me senseless.

  Penny’s wedding is an excuse to enjoy paradise with my boyfriend. That’s all.

  “You do realize there’s closed circuit security here.” Dean’s voice flows through the crack in the door.

  Ryan chuckles.

  “Okay, I’m leaving. But Leighton, you should know anybody can access that footage with the password.”

  He’s right—we have a security camera. But no one checks the footage. And I
have the password too. I can easily erase the half an hour in question.

  My heartbeat picks up as footsteps move toward the door.

  The bell rings.

  The door slams into the frame.

  I push aside my friends’ commentary. I push aside the five foot three, raven-haired, honey-eyed elephant in the room. I push aside everything besides the desire pooling between my legs.

  Dean is gone.

  It’s just me and Ryan.

  We’ve been alone at Inked Hearts a million times. But not like this. Never like this.

  After a deep breath, I turn the handle and step into the main room.

  The window shades block the sunset. Pink and red string lights glow in the dim room. The hearts shine like stars in a dark sky.

  Ryan is leaning against the counter, the picture of patience. His pupils dilate as I unfurl my fist to show off my black panties.

  Fuck, it feels so good having every ounce of his attention.

  Having him wrapped around my finger.

  It’s half a dozen steps to him. As soon as his fingers brush my palm, I crumble. I lose any sort of upper hand. But then I don’t care about being the one in control.

  He takes my panties and slides them into his pocket.

  I back into the counter. My palms hit the plastic. Slowly, I push myself up.

  I stare into his eyes as I spread my legs.

  God, the intensity in those baby blues. Like he’s going to devour me. Like he’s going to drive me out of my damn mind. No, that isn’t a like.

  It’s exactly what he’s going to do.

  His fingertips curl into my skin as he places himself between my legs. “You’re nervous.”

  “Not for this.”

  “Yeah for this.”

  I hold up my thumb and forefinger. A little. “To leave the shop. To lose my family here.” To go to Hawaii and face the possibility of losing him.

  “You won’t lose me.”

  “Easy to say when you’re about to fuck me.”

  “I’m not about to fuck you. It’s gonna be an eternity before I fuck you.”

  I swallow hard.

  He looks up at me with every ounce of affection in the world. “You won’t lose me.” He plants a soft, slow kiss on my lips. “This is everything I want.”

  “But Penny—”

  “I don’t give a fuck about Penny.”

  “Then why are we—”

  “You want to call it off? Say the word. I’ll cancel our flights right now.”

 

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