Climbing under the covers, he settled alongside her and set about his pleasurable task, anticipating the tiny moans and sighs, the gasping cries that signaled her enjoyment. He wasn’t disappointed. And managed another couple of hours of sleep to boot.
Chapter Ten
Had she ever worked so hard in her life? Maybe when Lisa was a baby. And she’d been younger. But she loved it, loved the ranch and everything it stood for. And she loved Carter.
A tiny frown tugged at her lips, souring her happy thoughts a tad. She did love him but hadn’t yet told him. Maybe she was waiting on him to say it first. She huffed. There was no rush. Words weren’t as important as showing the other person how you felt. And Carter wasn’t hesitant in his actions.
Time had simply flown by. Her days were predictable and demanding, and the times when something happened to mess with the schedule, well, that was a nice change too, if frustrating. She knew how to adapt. She was fit from all the hard work, slept like a log, and had enormous energy.
Sure, she was tired at the end of the day, but not too tired to make love with Carter. They must still be new, she decided, as she loaded the impressive dishwasher, seeing as their sex life never wavered. A secret smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she thought about how the yoga she still managed to fit in between the cracks in her day paid off. Carter appreciated her flexibility in more ways than one.
She’d attended the local clinic during a grocery run and obtained oral contraceptives. Despite that, Carter continued to use condoms until one time they both got carried away playing a naughty game, and he went bareback. It was hard for him to glove up after that, and he trusted her birth control.
As for the condoms, they’d serve another purpose. Anal had taken some figuring out with Samuel, watching awkward porn movies, and lots of laughter and experimenting, but once they’d gotten the kinks worked out, she’d liked it. She intuited Carter knew how to do it right, and she was willing to give it up to him.
The frown returned. She was past the optimum age for having kids. It made sense to practice good birth control, though she suspected for Carter, it was more about losing his son. Something he didn’t talk about—ever. Same with his wife.
She was content to wait, respecting his reticence. And if he never shared? It wasn’t important. She convinced herself of that. It was ridiculous that every now and then she had a fantasy of having a child who looked just like Carter.
“We’ll have to leave in a half hour.” Carter snuck up behind her, as was his habit, and nuzzled her hair.
“I’ll be ready.” She turned into him for a hug. The kitchen was cozy, the appliances gleaming—especially the new stove, purchased shortly after the dishwasher—and the smell of muffins hung in the air.
It was one of those rare days when he had some spare time, and she didn’t question it. They were going to dinner at Merry and Deke’s, a Saturday night outing, and she was pretty excited. Carter had promised to take her to community events, but so far that hadn’t happened. It wasn’t much different than her social life before she met him, and not an issue, though sometimes she longed to see some different faces.
“Would you rather stay home?” He leaned into her, his interest evident.
Laughing, she pushed him away. “Save that for tonight. I need a little female time. Merry knows everything that goes on around this area, and I want to hear it.”
He stilled for an instant before shrugging. “Gossip.”
“Like men don’t. Deke fills you in, don’t deny it. And the guys come back full of tales after Saturday night.” She had no idea how some of those shenanigans could take place with such a small population, spread out over a considerable distance.
Smiling, though it seemed strained, he said, “I won’t deny it. Kate, would you like to head into the city one day next week? Catch up with Hazel? See Lisa?”
That was Carter. He’d read her itchy feet. “Nope. Maybe some time down the road. I can’t take a full day right now.”
He called her Kate all the time now, George having started it, and it felt familiar now. Suited her in her new environment. Lisa teased her, saying she’d gone country, but Kathleen liked it.
“Why not? If you want to go to the city, go.”
“The garden, for one. I need to start canning the early tomatoes next week. We have so many.” She headed out of the kitchen, making for the stairs. He followed.
“You don’t need to can stuff.”
“I know I don’t. I want to.” She’d located a ton of sealer jars in the barn.
He threw his hands up, and she caught the gesture out of the corner of her eye. He’d be shoving his hands through his hair next. She paused on the second step. “Carter, I love this way of life. I take huge pride in it. It makes me feel alive. It’s similar to what I felt when I married Samuel.”
His features blanked, pale-blue eyes expressionless. What had she said? She sometimes mentioned her deceased husband, her child’s father, and had no difficulty sharing. And she hadn’t thought Carter was bothered by it. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head and became the man she knew. “Nothing. I guess I’m shocked. I shouldn’t be, the way you take care of me—of us—and this place. But I thought women today were emancipated.”
So it wasn’t her bringing up Samuel. “Some are, if you mean they’d rather not entertain traditional roles. Each to his own. I’m sure I’m not an anomaly. What about the other ranchers’ wives around here?”
“Point taken.”
“I’ll just go change.” She snapped her fingers. “Can you empty the bucket beside the sink for the chickens? I forgot.”
“Sure.” He headed back to the kitchen.
The unused coop hadn’t taken much to whip into shape, and she’d ordered a bunch of fancy chickens—online. They’d all arrived as chicks and watching them grow into their amazing plumage was fun.
Carter had accommodated her desire to have the birds, warning her they were extra work but conceding the fresh eggs were a trade-off. He thought they’d eat some of them, too, but so far she’d danced around that topic.
The rooster, Santiago, was an admitted challenge at times, lording it over the roost, but she’d learned his weakness—food. And while she’d never confess it, it amused the hell out of her when the hands retreated in consternation if they intruded onto the bird’s territory.
Her smile faded a little as she considered her closet. She really needed to enlarge her wardrobe.
She found a shirt, ran a brush through her hair, and used her lip gloss. Staring at her reflection, she liked what she saw. Her skin glowed, and she looked like a happy, satisfied woman. She was.
Her lips twitched when she thought about how she was teaching the hands to have a more discerning palate too. They’d never be foodies, but she’d introduced something other than meat and potatoes—and fried foods—to the menu. But tonight, Merry was cooking.
“Trucks used to have bench seats, no console,” Carter remarked as he navigated over some ruts left by recent heavy rains and subsequent traffic. “I could hold my girl’s hand.”
“Tough to do,” she agreed. “I’ll let you do it on the walk to your brother's front door.”
“Deal.” She loved that he always wanted to touch her.
He parked behind Deke’s muddy vehicle and came around to open her door. “Stay on the gravel. You should have worn boots.”
“I don’t have any.” She couldn’t keep wearing Josh’s, and she couldn’t order any online. Her feet were hard to fit. Maybe she did need to go to the city for a bit of a shopping spree. Damn.
He cursed under his breath. “I’m not looking after you properly.”
“I use Josh’s boots when I ride.” She’d never be an expert, but she and Becky rubbed along well enough to accompany Carter on the occasional trek. She loved those times, alone with him under the blue sky with only several hundred head of cattle for company. Upwind.
“We’re getting you your own,” he promi
sed.
He held her hand as they walked up the path to his brother’s door and Merry threw it open as they approached. “You’re here!” She stared at their intertwined hands. “And as in love as ever.”
Carter disengaged his hold as he ushered her through the door, and she missed him. She wondered how he felt about Merry’s words—she wasn’t about to challenge them. But his two nephews raced to them, and she grabbed them instead. Carter tousled their heads in greeting then moved away. The kids stared after him before turning their attention to her, demanding she see the new Lego machines they’d built.
Dinner was a wild affair with two rambunctious boys. Deke brought them under control with a mere look when they pushed too hard, but their mother clearly had her hands full. Carter ate quietly, talking with Deke about—what else—cattle, and ignored the antics. It was an interesting insight into the family dynamic.
“I like your house.” It was a log-cabin style, though much larger and reminded her a bit of Carter’s house.
Merry dimpled. “It works for us. Three bedrooms but the boys prefer to share, so if we have company, at least we have a spare room.”
Deke and Carter took the boys and dessert, a bag of ice cream treats, outside after the meal. Carter was visibly of two minds about leaving her, and it made her smile.
“I’m so glad we finally get to spend an evening together.” Merry headed for the kitchen with items from the table, and Kathleen followed with her hands full.
They worked to clean up together while Merry caught her up on the local gossip. Not that there was much, other than someone’s wife had left in the dead of night, to surface in another state. “Her husband’s a prick, so we weren’t surprised.”
With cups of herbal tea, they sat in the living room, an area obviously used by the boys.
“Things still going okay with you two?”
Puzzled, she said. “We’re fine. Why?”
“I figured that was the case. You’re still here. Deke is over the moon for Carter. We think you’re so good for him.”
“He’s good for me.” She wondered how much gossip was rampant about her and Carter and wanted to laugh at her hypocrisy.
“You’re the answer to his prayers, you know. Even if it came about the way it did. And he fell for you.”
“What did he pray for?”
“Well, he didn’t exactly pray.” Merry giggled. “But you saw the place. And yet you stayed.”
“I’ve signed up for my halo already.”
They laughed together and sipped tea.
“You’re very different than Carolynn. Thank God.”
Her pulse quickened, even as her brain warned her to be careful. “Am I?”
“She’s older than me, but I remember her. She was all that in high school. Cheerleader, all flashy blonde hair and boobs. Looked like a little angel but wasn’t. You know the type.”
She did. Very different than her. Except for the boobs. “I do.”
“Girls like that are the bane of a lot of other girls’ existence at school. The guys—not so much.”
“That’s where they met? Her and Carter?”
“Yup. He was a bit of a jock and would have been a bigger one if he wasn’t needed at home. But he drew the eye.”
He still drew the eye. And she felt like scratching out anyone’s eyes other than hers if they looked at him that way. Laughing at her crazy thought, she said, “I can see that.”
Merry took a deep breath as if to impart a major piece of information. “Does he talk about her?”
Kathleen distanced herself. Immediately. This felt disloyal. “I wouldn’t mind another cup of tea.”
The other woman’s face flushed as red as her hair. “Oh, jeez. Kathleen, I’m sorry. I run my mouth, and I’m worse after a couple of beers, so steer clear then! It’s not just curiosity though. We—me and Deke—feel he needs to open up about her. And then maybe he can talk about Justin.”
Her head spinning, she grappled for something to say, stuck on the part that Carter didn’t talk about that part of his life to anyone. She remembered thinking he needed to be healed, and pain twisted her belly.
“We haven’t been together that long,” she said, carefully choosing her words. “But I hope he’s happy.”
She wasn’t going to fall into the trap of mining Carter’s history for every gem she could find, believing she had a right to them. He’d tell her—or he wouldn’t. And what that said about her state of mind remained to be determined.
They heard the sounds of the guys returning, Noah running ahead to show his mom a special rock they’d found—which turned out to be a frog and screaming ensued. Carter collected her in the midst of the chaos, farewells were made, and they escaped to the truck.
“You and Merry have a good talk?”
Was there an edge to his voice? Maybe she was still feeling the sting of that loyalty issue. “Do you know an Aurora McDonald? She left her husband. Who’s a prick.”
He guffawed. “I know Gavin. Merry’s right. Good for Aurora. He can’t keep it in his pants.”
“Those boys are sure a handful.”
After a beat, he said, “Much like Deke and I were. My poor mother.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that children were a grandparent’s revenge, something her in-laws and razzed Samuel about when Lisa didn’t sleep, but she swallowed it down. Carter would have welcomed antics from Justin a thousand times over. She hid behind a nod.
“I’ll see if I have any of that rambunctious nature left over when I get you home.”
Home and Carter together. Perfect. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Eleven
“You soon coming up to bed?” He smiled when Kate’s head snapped up, and she blinked those curious eyes.
“I’m just reconciling your bank statements. Shouldn’t be long.”
“I thought you were doing the books this afternoon.” He and the men had been away for the better part of the day, moving cattle to different pastures. The current ones were dry, and in danger of being overgrazed and with the repaired fences, the timing had been good.
She stretched, cat-like, and he tracked the lift and fall of her breasts. Last night had been an experience, his desire to fully claim Kate realized. And it had cleared his mind of the niggling fear that Merry had educated Kate on subjects better left unshared. If anyone talked to her, it should be him.
The thought made him stiffen. He didn’t talk to anyone about that. He didn’t think it.
“Carter?” She tilted her head. “I said I went into town instead. We were running short on some dry goods.”
“What? Oh, got it.” He made himself smile. “So, much longer?”
“Maybe half an hour.”
“I’ll wait.” He settled in a chair opposite the desk and regarded her as she went back to concentrating, making a mental note to ensure her wages were transferred into her account tomorrow.
She didn’t go to town often. He accompanied her when he could and also placed bulk orders from her lists for delivery. People knew his history, knew his entire family, and he’d admit to some tightness in his gut when he imagined Kate being brought up to speed by a “well-meaning” local—or a nosy one.
He brought himself up short. He trusted her—she didn’t press him, though if she had something to say, she said it and would, in all likelihood, bring such comments to his attention.
Trust her enough to confide in her? Okay, that was enough soul-searching. Shame scalded his gut. She worked her ass off for him, and he’d let himself consider she felt something for him that went past boyfriend slash girlfriend status. He was stunted, not her fault, and he’d been keeping her separate and nearly confined in his home—why?
“There.” She pushed her chair back and reached to free her hair, the heavy mass falling down around her shoulders. He liked it long, but she hadn’t been anywhere to get it cut. And he knew she’d had a manicure back when.
“You need to go visit your friends and Lisa. D
o some girl things.” It sounded like a command, even to his ears.
“We’ve been over this.” Standing, she shook her head. “I’ll go when I want to go.”
“You don’t go anywhere.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I wouldn’t say no to the occasional night at the Watering Hole. Or even the diner for a meal.”
In a cartoon, he’d be thumped up alongside the head. She wanted to go somewhere with him. He’d tattoo thoughtless asshole across his forehead backward, the better to remind himself when he saw his reflection every morning.
“We’ll do that. Next weekend.” Her wide smile made his painful revelation worth it.
She said, “Deal. And if it helps, Lisa has a break coming up soon, so she can visit for a few days.”
His smile felt painted on his face. Seeing that connection and being around it would test him. “Sure. Let me know when. I’ll think of the right mount for her.”
“She’ll love that, Carter! And it will be wonderful to have her here. She knows how much I love the ranch and I’d like her to get to know you better. And vice versa.”
“Absolutely.” He infused enthusiasm into his voice, knowing he should kick his own ass.
“And I’ve been meaning to ask you, I was thinking of trying Marmalade out as a house cat.”
A shard of memory pierced his chest on top of Lisa’s upcoming visit. He fought against it, pushed it back. “No cats in the house, Kate.”
“Oh.” The smile was replaced by fleeting disappointment, and he felt like shit. She said, “Is it the hair? I can’t abide a cat box, but I notice there’s a bolted dog door in the mudroom.”
“You keep this place so nice I’m not crazy about the idea of hair all over. But I prefer dogs.” Even that was a struggle for him. Justin had loved all animals, and he’d indulged his son, maybe to make up for hardly being home. Not being there for him.
“I’d be okay with a dog.”
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