by Laura Kaye
“We’ve been watching for a potential play partner,” Cruz said, stepping closer. “You caught our eye. We couldn’t help but notice how interested you were in the scene.”
“Yes, I was,” she said, her heart racing in anticipation.
“Have you ever done a threesome, Mia?” Jonathan asked.
“No, Sir.” She glanced from one man to the other, finding both of them attractive. Their faces, their bodies, their personas. Excitement made her belly flip-flop. Any reservations her mind—or her heart—tried to raise she shoved right aside. What choice did she have?
“Would you like to talk about doing a scene with the two of us?” the blond man asked.
A shiver raced over her skin. Was she really doing this? “Yes, Sir, I would.”
Jonathan slipped his hand into hers. “Let’s find a place to sit,” he said. Cruz stepped in close to her other side. Already, they made her feel surrounded and a little overwhelmed. They led her to a small out-of-the-way grouping of couches on the balcony overlooking the nave. She could see everything from up there. Everyone. She looked away, not wanting to see Master Kyler. Not wanting to think of him at all. It hurt too much.
Jonathan guided her to the middle of a love seat, and he and Cruz sat on either side of her. Their heat warmed her and made her hot, inside and out.
“Since this would be your first time, why don’t we talk about what you’d most like to experience, and what you wouldn’t want to, too.” Jonathan brought their clasped hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.
It was sweet and sexy. Kyler.
Argh! Let it go, Mia. Let him go.
She nodded. “I would definitely be open to sex and oral. I’ve never done anal, and I’ve never done double penetration.”
“Including vaginal double penetration?” Jonathan asked, his brown eyes paying full attention to her.
Her stomach flipped at the thought. It was scary and exciting at the same time. “No, I haven’t.”
Cruz scooted forward beside her and leaned in. “Are you willing to try those? Or are they hard limits for you?”
Maybe not with the right person, Sir.
The memory came back to her in a flash of sound.
Has anyone ever had your ass, Mia?
“Soft limit on toys for either, and a hard limit for more. At least for my first time,” she managed, trying so hard to stay fully present in this moment, with these men.
Cruz nodded. “Toys can be fun.” He winked.
She smiled. But she was screaming inside. Because she liked these guys. She was attracted to them. They wanted something with her that she wanted to try. And yet a part of her was dying to even consider doing it. Because that part of her couldn’t stop wanting something she couldn’t have.
Someone she couldn’t have.
Jonathan led them through a conversation about the ribbons on her cuffs, seeking out more knowledge of her interests and limits. “The breath play is a hard limit for us, Mia. We just don’t believe that it’s safe for the submissive. Will that be a problem for you?”
“No, Sir,” she said, her stomach dropping a little. “I understand.”
“Good.” He smiled. And it was a nice smile. A sexy one. But not Kyler’s.
“Excuse me, gentlemen. Jonathan. Cruz. I apologize for interrupting.”
Oh, no. That voice. Mia’s gaze cut up to find Master Kyler standing in front of them. Heat roared into her face, but she wasn’t doing anything wrong, damnit. Certainly nothing to feel embarrassed about.
Jonathan rose. “Of course, Master Kyler. May we help you?”
“Well, actually, it’s Mia I need.” His gaze bore into hers.
He needed…her?
Jonathan frowned, and now Cruz stood too.
“We’re about to start a scene, Master Kyler,” Cruz said.
“I understand, and I am sorry. Perhaps we could leave it to her to decide? Mia?”
Three sets of eyes turned to her. She wanted to kill Master Kyler. She really did. Why was he doing this to her when he was the one who’d told her to find someone else? Well, she had. She’d found two someones. Look at her being an overachiever.
“What do you need, Master Kyler?” she asked, not moving from her seat.
“In private, please?” he said. His blue gaze was imploring and intense. But she’d been on this ride. Twice. And she didn’t think she could stand getting thrown off of it a third time.
She stared at him, and even after everything, he still appealed to her more than any other man she’d ever met. Now that she knew he was a cop, maybe that was part of it. The swagger, the drive to serve, the willingness to protect others at great personal risk to himself. It made him even more attractive to her, and that made her yearn.
She shook her head, trying so hard to be strong. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
His jaw ticked. “Mia, I really need to talk to you.”
“We did talk,” she said. “You told me to find someone else. I have. These men are interested in me. These men want me.”
“Fucking hell, Mia. So do I.” He raked his hands through his hair, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer but every bit as urgent. “I want you so bad I can hardly think straight. I can’t concentrate. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. For weeks.”
“Christ,” Cruz said. “We didn’t realize you were involved.” He looked from her to Kyler and back again.
“We’re not,” Mia said, his words shocking her and pulling her heart in a million different directions.
“We were,” Kyler said at the same time.
Jonathan and Cruz exchanged a glance, and then Jonathan crouched beside her and took her hand. “If you want, come find us when you’re done. I hope it works out the way you want.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“I know. If we could all keep the emotions out of the sex, things would be a lot less complicated, eh?” He winked.
The two Doms left, but not before throwing less-than-pleased looks at Kyler. He didn’t even seem to notice.
She crossed her arms and hugged herself. “They’re gone. Satisfied?”
Kyler came right up to her. And dropped to his knees. “Satisfied? That I hurt you? That I failed you? That I made you feel unwanted? That I let fear get the best of me? No, Mia. I could never be satisfied with any of that. I hate it. And I know you’ve already given me a second chance. I probably don’t deserve another. In fact, I’m sure I don’t. But on the slim fucking possibility that you ache for me the way I ache for you, I’m here asking for one anyway.”
Seeing him on his knees for her reached right into her chest and tugged. Hard. “I don’t understand. What’s changed? My father is still your boss. I’m still his babydoll who you feel uncomfortable tying up and choking and beating and fucking. Right? Isn’t that what you said? Or what? Spell it out for me, Kyler. Because you’re making my head spin.”
He started unbuttoning the navy blue shirt he wore, his eyes locked on hers. “I realized I was letting fear hold me back, Mia. My parents’ marriage didn’t survive my father being a cop. Neither did my grandparents’. And these past months, I’ve been terrified that I was going to lose my job. At first, it wasn’t because of the investigation. I got shot. That’s what all the scars on my shoulder are from, and it caused nerve damage in the joint that reduced my long-distance shooting accuracy. I’ve been pushing myself through physical therapy, and it’s getting better, but if I can’t beat this, I’m done. And that was before the investigation hit.” He shrugged off the shirt, and she swallowed hard. His body was so gorgeous, masculine and rugged and raw. Unconsciously, she leaned forward, as if they were magnets that couldn’t help but attract.
Her gaze settled on the scars on his shoulder. Getting shot is what led to his needing surgery? Fear shivered through her, a fear she’d carried her whole life because of what her father did. Mia hated to hear about Kyler getting shot, being injured, suffering. She knew e
nough to know that these were things she’d always have to worry about, being with him. But would she really run from perfection just because later there might be pain?
He tossed his shirt aside and reached to remove a bandage from his ribs.
“Oh, God. Are you hurt?” She slid off the couch, coming down to her knees in front of him.
“No. Not hurt at all.” Removing the bandage was a slow process, and she flinched every time he sucked in a breath. And then it was off.
Mia gasped.
“Kyler. That’s…that’s like my piece.” One of the ones she’d showed him on her phone that night. Her mouth dropped open as she stared at a large tattoo that ran down the side of his ribs under his left arm. The original painting included a mix of oil paints, clock and watch parts, tiny glass beads, photographs of eyes, and metal numbers she’d handmade from scraps. Called “Time,” the work was one of her favorites, with the words “The Time is Now” set amidst a chaotic field of time pieces and watching eyes. What was on his ribs wasn’t identical, but the inspiration was clear. Her gaze ran over the words, the different sized clocks, some of them in pieces, the numbers. The tattoo artist had done the original work’s background colors—varying shades of reds, rusts, dark browns, and creams—in a soft watercolor style that worked perfectly on skin.
“I tried to remember it. To include as many of the details as I could. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you showed it to me at dinner that night. I haven’t been able to escape the feeling that I was supposed to see your art, Mia.” He met her gaze, and there was an uncertainty there, like he thought she might be mad.
But she’d never been more honored in her life. He’d put her art on his skin. Permanently. And talked about how it moved him, changed him. What artist didn’t want her work to impact someone that way?
“The tattoo artist did an amazing job,” she whispered, absolutely awed.
“Jeremy. He loved doing this. And would love to meet you and see your work sometime. If you wanted.”
Mia reached to touch Kyler, to trace her fingers over her work on his body, but then she noticed the puffy red around the edges of the ink. She drew back.
“Touch me,” he said, grasping her hand and pressing it to the new tattoo.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she said.
“You couldn’t, Mia. Not by touching me. You make me feel alive. With every touch. Every smile. Every laugh.” His voice was full of gravel and emotion.
“Kyler...” Her words trailed off. She could hardly tell a man who’d just inked a part of her into his very skin that he didn’t know what he wanted. Because talk about a commitment. “I don’t know what to say.”
He took both of her hands in his. “I don’t just want you for a scene, Mia. And I don’t just want you in here, at Blasphemy. I want you in my bed, at my house, in my life. Come home with me. Tonight. Now.”
Mia’s heart thundered and her pulse beat against her skin. But now she was the one who fear was getting the better of. Because she wanted this—wanted him—so badly. “I’m scared you’re going to change your mind.”
He came closer, so close that their faces touched. “I won’t. My heart won’t let me. Because for the first time in my life, I’ve fallen in love. I’ve fallen in love, Mia, with you.”
Chapter 13
“You…you love me?” Mia said, her eyes glassy. “I…I…” She shook her head. “I’d like to go home with you, Kyler. Can we please get out of here?”
Kyler had them off the floor in an instant. He took tight hold of her hand and guided her back through the club, not stopping for anything. Because it hadn’t escaped his notice that she hadn’t returned his words—and maybe she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, just yet. That was fair given everything he’d put her through. But it made him desperate to continue their conversation. It made him desperate to see her in his space. He needed Mia all to himself. Now.
The short car ride felt like a cross-country trip, but finally he was parking at the curb just down the street from his row house. He rounded the front of his Explorer and opened her door, helped her down, took her hand again. He couldn’t stop touching her.
Up at the front door, they paused while he inserted the key. He gently grasped her chin and looked at her. “Never brought anyone here before.”
Her eyes went wide. “No one?”
“You’re the first. In all kinds of ways.”
Mia’s expression went so, so soft. It gave him hope. Hope that if she wasn’t where he was now, she might be able to get there.
Kyler pushed open the door and gestured for her to go first. The living room was small and well lived in, with casual couches, a big TV, and a dog bed on which his old man of a dog laid. Brewster lifted his head and gave him his trademark expression that looked like he was smiling. “That’s Brewster. He’s nearly deaf.” With some effort, the Rottweiler got off the bed and came over to them, a lot of the black on his face heavily speckled with gray.
Mia crouched and held out her hand. “Well, aren’t you a handsome man?”
Brewster wasn’t usually a licker, but he gave her fingers a few swipes of his tongue. She grinned and stroked his head and ears.
“Oh, don’t get sucked in to petting his ears. Once you start, he won’t let you stop,” Kyler said.
As if on cue, the Rottie sat up tight against her legs and leaned into her so hard that he knocked her over. She laughed out loud as she tumbled into a sitting position on her butt, the big beast half in her lap.
“I’m sorry,” Kyler said, rushing to make Brewster get up. “Go on, buddy. You’re not helping me out here.”
Mia smirked. “He’s fine. I don’t mind. I grew up with dogs.” She grasped the dog’s big head in her hands and kissed his face. “I’ll pet you more later, okay?”
Brewster looked up at him with a face that said, Can we keep her?
I’m working on it, buddy. I’m working on it.
“Would you like the nickel tour?” he asked, helping her up.
“Definitely,” she said. The place was only fifteen hundred square feet, with two bedrooms and a finished basement, but he showed her all of it, ending in his bedroom. “You have a nice place, Kyler. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“Thank you for coming home with me,” he said, walking up to her and putting his hands on her hips. “I don’t expect anything from you tonight, Mia. I just want to be with you.”
She looked at him a long moment, and then she rested her hands on his chest and met his gaze. “I…Kyler—” She sighed, like she couldn’t find the words.
“You can say anything to me. What is it?” He stroked one hand through her hair, so pretty and soft around her face, her shoulder.
“Say it again,” she said.
He frowned. “You can say anything to me?”
“No. What you said at the club. Say it again.” Her dark eyes burned.
Hope lit in his gut, then a little brighter. Could she mean…? “I’ve fallen in love with you?”
She nodded. “Yes, that.”
Elation roared through him, a wave that wanted to lift him up and up and up. Such an unusual feeling. For him. He cupped her face in his hands. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Mia. I’m in love with you. And I want you every way I can have you. For as long as you’ll have me.”
“Oh, Kyler. I...I love you, too.”
The words warmed parts of him he thought would always be ice cold. “Aw, Christ, thank you.” He wrapped her in a tight embrace, and when her arms came around his back, it nearly took him to his knees. He pulled away and cupped her face again, and then he sealed their words with a searing hot kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered around the edge of their kiss. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Thank you for not giving up on yourself,” she said.
“Mia, I…I have something… Shit. I’m moving too fast, I know it.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. He’d never done this before, but he suddenly wanted it as much as
he wanted his next breath. Maybe more.
She gave him an uncertain smile. “You can say anything to me, too, you know.”
“Yeah?” he said, really wanting to give her the gift he’d bought. Because he knew it would be perfect. On her. When she was ready.
She nodded. “Show me.”
His heart a freight train in his chest, Kyler opened the drawer on his nightstand and drew out a large square velvet jewelry box. “I’d love for you to wear this when you’re ready, but I don’t want to pressure you. I know we have a lot to figure out.”
With shaking hands, she took the box and eased it open. “Oh, my God. It’s so gorgeous.” She traced gentle fingertips over the wide, sleek Herringbone chain. In the center, the chain connected to a heart lock pendant with a large diamond in the middle next to the tiny keyhole. The key hung on a little hook in the middle of the box. She peered up at him. Need shined so brightly from her face.
“Would you be willing to wear my collar someday, Mia?” he asked, an answering need heating his blood.
“Someday?” she asked, her voice a little crestfallen.
He arched a brow. “Sooner?”
“Yes,” she said, hope bleeding back in.
He tilted his head and studied her for a long moment. “Now?”
“Yes, Sir. Please.” Her eyes were so wide and earnest that if he hadn’t loved her before, he would’ve fallen just then.
He hardened in an instant, for the first time in his life feeling his mind, body, and heart align with one need, one purpose. Claiming this woman. Forever. In any and every way. “Undress and present yourself, Mia.”
Staring into his eyes, she slowly unzipped her dress. That was all it took to bare her body to his gaze. She folded it, then placed it on the corner of his bed. Next, she removed her shoes. And then Mia knelt on the floor, knees wide, palms up on her thighs, back straight, head down. Beautiful.
Kyler pulled the necklace from the box and unlocked it. “I give this to you to wear tonight with the understanding that we need to discuss what it means to both of us, what the rules and expectations will be between us, and who we are going to be as a couple. Do you agree?”