by K E Osborn
“Lunar, you need to leave, before I say somethin’ I’ll regret.”
She glowers at me. “You just need to get laid. Do you want me to send in Sky or Jess?”
My blood boils red hot as my skin prickles with beads of sweat at the thought of sleeping with anyone other than Willow.
“Fuck off! Get the fuck out now, Lunar. How dare you come in here tellin’ me what I need? Fuck off! Get out! Get out!” I yell sitting up and pushing her off the bed.
She huffs standing up shaking her head then walks toward the door. “This is your funeral, Steel. Your brothers are going to cane you for this.” She closes the door behind her.
Breathing through my nose my teeth squeak as they grind together. My hand grips around the bourbon bottle and with all the pent up anger inside me I catapult the bottle at the door. It smashes against the wood shattering and splashing the remaining liquid all over the door, it trickles down as I breathe harshly watching the droplets melt downward like the pieces of my broken heart disintegrating. Cassius looks at me as I breathe rapidly through my nose feeling somewhat better for letting out some rage.
“What, don’t you judge me too,” I murmur to him as he flops back down on the bed.
I’m half up now, I may as well go and shower to relax my tense muscles. Plus, I think Lunar was right—I do stink. Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the hot water as hot as it will go. Stepping in under the scalding shower, it prickles my skin and I wince as it burns. It’s almost like I want to scald myself as punishment for Tyrell, and for losing Willow as a consequence. Never thinking I was good enough for her, missing her, and wishing there were something I could do to get her back.
Moping around like this is losing the respect of my brothers and that’s never a good thing. God only knows what my father thinks. I know he’s always had a thing about women anyway because of Mum leaving. She was against me joining the club because of what happened to Tyson and Byron. My brothers died because of Dad’s association with the club. Mum never forgave him for that, and when I decided to become a prospect, all she could envisage was that her only remaining child was going to die too.
So she left us!
Mum would rather leave us and never see us again than stay and watch me die at the hands of this club. Dad loved her so much, she was his Old Lady and even though she left, I know she’s still heavily protected by the club even if she doesn’t know it. Dad thinks I don’t know, but he loves her still and misses her very much. He just didn’t want me to end up losing my woman, which is precisely what happened. Willow left because she couldn’t handle the club. Dad saw it coming. But I guess any time with Willow was better than never knowing her at all. Even if I am screwed for the rest of my life when it comes to women, at least I knew what it was like to feel something real, even just once.
After scrubbing away my stench and letting the water relax my muscles, I step out of the shower and dry myself putting on some shorts. I’m in the mood for more depressing music, so I turn on my stereo to Pink Floyd’s ‘Keep Talking.’ The words are just how I feel right now. Willow won’t talk to me, and I’m depressed as hell. I turn it up loud as Cassius curls up on my bed further, almost like he’s trying to hide from the music that I’ve put on repeat. Making my way back over to the bed, I lie down next to Cassius and let the haunting music pour over me. It’s so loud it's deafening as the words slice through me saying exactly how I feel right now.
My bedroom door swings open and I look over to see Techie standing in the doorway looking down at the broken glass and liquid. He frowns and shakes his head stepping on the glass and storms over, turning the music down.
“Hey, I was listenin’ to that!”
“So was the entire clubhouse you fucker. Could you have had it any louder? You know that if it’s over eighty-five decibels you could have permanent hearing loss, right?” he asks as he walks over and sits down on my bed next to me.
I exhale and roll my eyes. “I guess you’re here to pep talk me, too?”
He shrugs. “I’m not going to pep talk you, but I am going to be your best mate right now. You’ve got a broken heart.”
I scoff and shake my head. “Whatever! I don’t.”
“I’m worried, bro. Did you know that emotional pain that’s so severe can cause 'broken heart syndrome,' which can include physical damage to the heart known in the medical industry as stress-induced cardiomyopathy. Broken heart syndrome imitates symptoms of a heart attack, including shortness of breath, chest pain, heart failure, and a feeling of impending doom.”
I groan and clench my eyes tight. “I’m not gonna have a heart attack.”
“That’s not what I said… I said it mimics a heart attack. So that tightness deep in your chest right now… that tightness that’s making you breathe faster, and the feeling that everything’s turned to shit? That feeling, my friend, is broken heart syndrome, and you have it… bad.”
“Well, fix it then,” I say.
Techie clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Oh, I wish I could, brother. But the only thing that will fix you… is Willow.”
Hearing her name tightens my chest even further and he slaps my leg making me look down at him.
“Go to her, try and fix things. I’m sure she’s missing you, too. And if she isn’t then, at least, you’ve tried to give it another go. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder, what if.” I sit up on my elbows and look at him as he glances at me and purses his lips. “Shave, though, you look like an ape.”
I chuckle as he stands up and walks toward my door, his boots crunching on the broken bourbon bottle. "And Steel?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck it up this time!”
I nod and sit on the edge of the bed and take in a deep breath. Maybe Techie is right. I need to stop being a fucking pussy and get my fucking tough macho arse back into gear and go and get my girl—I can do this!
Standing up, I quickly get dressed and then grab Cassius lifting him to my chest. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, but I carry him over the broken glass and let him down in the hall and then close the door to my room. I’ll come back to that later. Racing out to the main clubroom, I see Knucklehead at the bar. He nods and smiles as I pass.
“Good to see you up and about, Steel.”
“Thanks, Knucklehead. Hey, there’s a bourbon and broken glass situation in my room. Can you get someone to fix that for me?”
He nods as he wipes clean a stein glass. “Sure thing, VP.”
I hike it out of the clubrooms to my Hog. It’s a Saturday, so Willow should be home. My heart is beating frantically as I pull on my lid and jump on my bike. Starting the engine, it’s fucking awesome to feel the vibration of the engine beneath me. I haven’t ridden for a while, and it seems like maybe things are slowly shifting back to normal after my month of fuck knows what I was doing.
Gatekeeper opens the gate and I hammer down as fast as I can to get to my girl. The need to see her is becoming unbearable. I haven’t seen her for so long, and the thought of finally touching her and smelling her flowery scent is making my cock ache and my heart race. I’m doing the right thing. This has gone on long enough. I’ve given her time. She needs to be back with me, right now.
Pulling down her street, flashes of the night I hid in the bushes across from her house spring to mind, and a smile crosses my face. She was so feisty and vibrant back then. I hope she hasn’t changed. She better not have moved on, and I wish to fuck she’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her. The radio silence has been deafening. My Hog pulls up across the street and I take a deep breath looking at the sandstone and picket fence I’ve missed so much. She has curtains in her front room now, and I swallow hard hoping that she didn’t hear my bike and that she answers the door. Taking off my lid, I stand up and walk over to her house with sweaty palms and a speeding heart that feels like it might actually burst out of my chest if I can’t calm the fuck down. Taking a deep breath, I ring her doorbell and take a step back, so I don�
��t intimidate her with me standing right in her doorway when she opens the door.
Moments later the door begins to creak open and my heart literally stops in my chest. I gasp as she pulls open the door and our eyes connect. A spark surges through us as she smiles. Then just as quickly as she grins it falls off her face, and she frowns making my chest ache. She looks so beautiful, her red hair is the same, long and lustrous flowing over her shoulders. Her lips are full and glossy making me want to kiss the hell out of them. Her skin pale showing off the small speckle of freckles over her nose in just the right light. But her eyes, they’re glassy and red. Like she’s been crying for an eternity. The sight makes me gasp as every part of me tenses looking at the obvious pain she’s in.
“What are you doing here?”
Taking a steadying breath, I step closer to her. “I’ve missed you.”
She takes a step back and folds her arms over her chest. “Well… that doesn’t change things.”
Frowning, I try to lighten the mood. “Techie says I have broken heart syndrome. It’s very serious apparently, can cause heart attacks and everything.”
She half smiles and rolls her eyes stepping to the side to let me in. I inwardly high five myself and step past her. She smells of flowers and it hits me as I pass her, making me want to turn and grab her to kiss her frantically. But I know I have to take this at her pace. Walking into the front room, I spin to look at her as she closes the front door.
“Squuueee.” The squealing echoes through the house before I see her and I smile wide. I’ve missed Petunia too. She suddenly comes bolting into the front room, she’s grown slightly and I smile wide as she runs up and cuddles into my leg. I lean down and pet her as Willow watches me still with her arms folded across her chest.
“She’s grown.”
“Well, it has been a month without hearing one… single… word… from you.” Her clipped and harsh tone makes me look up to see her pursed lips and tight jaw. She’s pissed.
“I wanted to call… so many times. But I thought you didn’t want me or anythin’ to do with me. It’s a two-way street. You could have called, too.”
She swallows hard and looks away from me taking a breath. “Fair call.”
The tension in the air is thick and I want to lighten the mood. So I lean down picking up Petunia and holding her to me—her front legs in my hands and her back legs dangling down—bringing her in line with my face. Willow raises an eyebrow as I start waving Petunia’s front legs around as if she’s waving at her.
“Please, Miss Willow. I know I’ve been a dick. Being apart from you was no is the worst time of my life. I was such a bad little piggy, and if only I could find some way to make it up to you?” I say in a cutesy voice as if it’s Petunia saying it. She snorts as if she’s laughing at me moving her around with my words, and Willow stands tilting her hip to the side and places her hand on her hip. The slight rise in her lips doesn’t go unnoticed. It’s working and I need to grovel, so I continue, “I swear I’ll be here for you and never do anythin’ bad… ever again. I piggy promise, Miss Willow.”
Her lip rises up even more as Petunia snorts and wiggles in my arms as I move her along with my dramatic performance.
“I’ve missed you every day. It’s been like havin’ eggs without bacon… that just isn’t right. You’re my bacon, Willow. So from one pig to another, please find it in your bacony goodness to forgive me?”
I exhale as I look into her eyes to see them watering. The sight pounds me right in the chest. Now’s the time to be serious, no more jokes. Standing back up straight, I place Petunia down to the floor and walk over standing to face her. I grab her cheeks in my hands and look deeply into her eyes.
“Please forgive me?”
She turns and steps over to the lounge suite and I follow her, she pulls out the blue towel from under the lounge and I’m a little shocked she still has it there.
“I was getting around to moving it, I just hadn’t yet.”
I nod and try to hide my smile as she places it on the lounge, so I don’t dirty up the whiteness of it. Sitting down next to her, I badly want to take her hand but I don’t. “How have you been?”
“Okay. A little sad, but plodding along.”
I take a deep breath and look her in her eyes. “I’m really sorry for the way things were left.”
“I am too, Dylan, but it doesn’t change anything. You still killed a man—”
“And I’m deeply sorry for that. I honestly had no intention of killin’ him. It was one hundred percent an accident.”
She exhales and looks away from me. “I hate that people disappear in your world.”
I can’t wait any longer to touch her, so I reach out and grab her hand. She doesn’t flinch away, and feeling the warmth of her silky skin against mine again is like an all new kind of heaven on earth. "Only bad people disappear, Willow.”
She huffs. “That’s what jail is for.”
“Sometimes bad people don’t get what they deserve. The justice system isn’t fair, and people are paid off easily. I’ve seen it plenty of times. A guy like Tyrell would’ve been let off and back out to beat up Niki in no time had she reported him. Why do you think she hadn’t done it already? ‘Cause she knew he was already tied up with the police force. He knew people, Flame. This was the only way to have him stop. I honestly didn’t mean for him to die. I really didn’t, but that’s what happened. He deserved it, Willow. I’m not gonna apologise for that. He wasn’t only beatin’ up Nikita but dealing with underage sex rings. The man was fuckin’ bad news, Willow. Scum of the earth.”
She swallows hard and nods. “I didn’t know all that other stuff. He really does sound like a scumbag.”
“Maybe he didn’t deserve to die. But the world is a much better place without him in it, babe. Niki and Jackson are safe and never have to worry about being hurt again.”
She nods and takes in a deep breath. “Okay.”
I furrow my brows in confusion. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I don’t like it, but at least now, I understand it a little better.”
I exhale and shift a little closer to her on the lounge, our legs touch and my entire centre of gravity shifts toward her, pulling me closer. It’s like all my atoms shift to be nearer to her.
Oh God! I love this feeling.
“I’m so sorry about all of this. I’m sorry I didn’t call. Just know I’ve been thinkin’ about you every second of every day for the past month. I’ve honestly been a fuckin’ wreck,” I admit.
She half smiles and places her hand on my knee squeezing tightly sending a jolt up my leg. “I missed you, too.”
I let out a small breath and bring my hand up to her cheek and caress it tenderly. Her silky skin under my rough palm feels like God damned heaven. I’ve missed touching her so fucking much every inch of me is aching right now just being in her presence. My body is screaming at me and I feel like I’m physically shaking. Reaching my hand into my jeans pocket, I pull out her necklace. The one I got her for Christmas and grab her hand placing the cool metal into her palm.
She looks down at it and her eyes water as her bottom lip trembles. She sniffs and smiles, bringing it up placing it around her neck without saying a word. It sends an ache deep into my chest as my insides quiver with tension. I press my hand against her cheek again wiping a stray tear falling down her cheek.
“Would it be all right… I mean can I… Fuck! I’m so nervous,” I admit.
She smiles and leans into my hand. I take a deep breath and start again. “Can I kiss you?”
She giggles and smirks. “It’s not like you to ask.”
I open my eyes wide and figure, fuck it! I’ll just go for it then. I lean forward and press my lips to hers with some force. She instinctively leans back into the lounge letting me move over her as her mouth opens to let my tongue slam into hers, and it’s the absolute best fucking feeling I’ve had in my entire life.
Her tongue moves with mine, as we make out on the
lounge feeling the spark and chemistry flowing through us again like it always used to. It’s exhilarating. The energy and heightened emotion rolling through me at merely kissing her is making every inch of me burn with an incredible heat and desire. I want to touch every inch of her. I want to kiss all over her skin, my lips frantically tasting every skerrick of her body while she moans in pleasure. I hope she will give that to me tonight.
Leaning into her more, her hands are frenzied as they make their way to the bottom of my shirt and start to lift it up.
Bingo!
I smirk against her lips, this is going exactly where I want it to go. I never thought waking up this morning that I’d be here making out with my girl and it possibly leading to sex, but yet here we are, with a gentle push from Lunar and Techie.
I’ll have to remember to thank them later.
Much later.
We part lips as my shirt comes up and over my head. She throws it on the floor narrowly missing Petunia, who’s sitting watching us—the little pervert pig. I move back in to kiss her lips again needing to taste that strawberry lip gloss, and move my hands to her top to lift it up. As I start to pull it up, she groans like she’s in pain and then pulls back making me furrow my brows wondering if she’s okay.
“Are you okay? Are you in pain?” I ask looking down as she pulls her shirt down and pushes me off her slightly so we sit up straight on the lounge suite, both panting to catch our breaths. “Willow?”
“Sorry, I'm okay. I just think maybe we should cool it down and talk more first.”
I take a relieved breath and rub my forehead comforted that she’s not in actual physical pain. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
She shrugs. “I’m not sure, I just don’t want to rush things.”
I nod and take her hand in mine and squeeze it. “Okay, babe. Well, let me start by sayin’ I want to change the club… so there’s less violence. I don’t like how it is now. I’m the VP and my say should count for somethin’.”