“And, hey, promise me you’ll play catch still, okay?”
“Okay. I will, Bo. Thank you. Thanks for everything. You…thank you.”
Though he smiled, his hands trembled as he released me from his arms.
It was only after I looked back and saw him swishing through the water toward the shore that I realized why he asked me to play catch. He asked me to still play catch because he knew he wasn’t coming back. My stomach heaved. I wondered if Mom realized it too when she let him leave. Just in case she didn’t, I kept my realization to myself. Even though I wanted to scream as loud as my voice would go, I sucked the sound back down tightly into my chest and kept it for later. I would keep my mother from this news for as long as possible. I kept my eyes on Bo’s back until his figure was just a dot in the distance.
When we got far enough away from land where we couldn’t see Bo or Cain anymore, Mom and I sat on the floor of the boat and Jordyn sat across from us. Mom wrapped her arms around me and we rocked with the boat’s gentle vibrations. The water slapped against the sides, and with every slap, a little spray of water misted over us. Quiet had taken over the boat until Mom blurted out, “What kind of horrible person am I?”
Jordyn and I looked at her, confused. “What do you mean, Claire?”
“I lied.”
Jordyn and I looked at each other, no less confused.
“That man sacrificed himself so that my daughter and I could be safe. And I lied to him. Even with Cain’s help he may never see us again, and I lied to him.”
Jordyn came over and sat on the other side of Mom. “Claire, so what?”
Then Mom was the confused one.
“Hey, you gave that man a gift. Whether he finds you again or not, he’s going to think that the woman he loves loves him back. That’s going to get him through whatever’s next.”
Whatever’s next.
Bile came up into my throat and it burned when I forced it back down.
Mom tried to smile. It didn’t work, but her face softened ever so slightly. “I mean, I do love Bo. He has been there for me and my daughter through so much. He’s been like a father to Riley when hers left. But do I get that soft fluttery feeling that love stories are made of? I don’t. I wish I did. I’d feel less awful if I did. But I don’t.”
I looked up at her. “Maybe it’s not the kind of love he was thinking of, but it’s something. So you weren’t lying. You told the truth.”
That made her smile, and she didn’t have to force it.
• • •
The morning after we arrived at the compound, we walked around to get acquainted with our new home. The whole place was self-contained. I followed Mom through the grounds and tried to take an interest in the people buzzing around me. To my right, I saw a corral full of cows, pigs, and chickens, where a few people were assigned to raise livestock. To my left, there was a garden that reached past where I could see, housing vegetables, fruits, and grains of every size, shape, and color. The school house rested at the very back and looked like a big red farmhouse like I saw in my history books. We passed by a few people, who were all smiling.
They didn’t make me feel better.
When we reached the end of the compound, we went inside a makeshift office (more like a shack with a desk) where Dominic, the man in charge of the compound, assigned all the new people a job right away. The people on the boat who were my age were introduced to those who had come before and given supplies for the school. A girl named Verita handed me a notebook, pens, paper, and, to my surprise, a backpack. She looked at me with warmth in her eyes, but I couldn’t muster up the energy to return the favor.
After Dominic left to go attend to some other business related to running the compound, I was supposed to go get acquainted with everyone and get excited about my new surroundings and Mom was supposed to go learn some of her new administration duties.
We did neither. Mom and I joined Jordyn on the shore where we had first arrived. We waited until we saw the boat that we had ridden in on peek over the horizon. It was only a speck at first, but as it came closer, it grew into a towering mass that we prayed would hold the two members of our party who were missing.
It only held one.
Cain leapt off the boat and stepped forward, feet sinking in the damp sand. Mom only had to look at him to know that Bo was gone forever. She fell into Cain’s arms. The sobs came hard and fierce. I turned away and found myself hugging Jordyn tight. The screaming that I had been pushing down for so long escaped from my mouth, strong and loud.
Bo had done it. He had given his life to keep Mom and me safe and together. From the start of this whole mess, one thing had become clear to me: There wasn’t always such a thing as a right or wrong choice. There was just the before, and the after. Bo had killed for us, and now he had died for us. I wondered if the thought would have ever even occurred to Dad, or if he would have just waved at Mom from the safety of the boat as it sailed away. As I thought about it, I realized I already knew the answer. And I wished with all my heart that I could smell the leather of Bo’s baseball glove just one more time.
When Mom and my tears had finally dried, we all sat down right there in the sand, in a circle like those you would find yourself in at summer camp, legs crossed, facing inward. I finally looked at Cain. “What happened?”
He took a breath before he began. “We were waiting on the beach when we heard cars coming in the distance. I hid in a nearby tree, but Bo didn’t climb fast enough. They obviously knew him. They came up to him and quickly shook his hand. Their smiles were friendly, expecting. The same smiles faded when Bo told him he refused to give them the information they wanted.” Cain gazed into the sand while he made a swirl pattern with his knife blade in the smooth grains.
Mom inhaled, a slight smile forcing its way to her lips. “He didn’t tell them where the safe houses were? About George helping you? Anybody?”
Cain grasped her hands. “No. He refused.”
Mom’s smile faded. “Then?”
Cain hesitated.
“Please, please tell me. I have to know what happened to him.”
Cain took a deep breath. “He refused to tell them. They pushed him to his knees…put a gun to his forehead.” He looked Mom right in the eyes. “Claire, they asked him. They asked him if it was worth it, and you know what he said?”
Tears returned to Mom’s face.
“He said, ‘Every single day’.”
We rose from our circle, and Jordyn put her arm around Mom to walk her back to the compound. They got up before me, so I lagged behind, walking beside Cain.
It was only then that I realized the lump where Jordyn’s gun usually sat, snug between her skin and her jeans, was missing. All that was there was her shirt hanging loosely, sweeping across her in the gentle breeze of our new island home.
I tugged at Cain’s shirtsleeve, and he lowered his ear toward me. “They were gonna make him tell, weren’t they?”
Cain took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. He didn’t know it yet, but yes they were. When they caught me…” He paused, like each word was a struggle. “Yes, they would have made him tell them everything.”
I stared at him. “Do you ever get tired of doing all the hard stuff?”
“All the time.”
I put my arm around him and gently squeezed his waist. Saying I was sorry seemed…too small. “She can’t ever know. No one can know. As far as anyone else is concerned, those guys killed Bo. That’s the end.”
“For the record, what Bo said, that last part was true.”
He took my hand and walked with me away from the shore.
EPILOGUE
The water was up to both men’s waists, and their clothes made a heavy sloshing sound as they walked toward the beach. The air was silent, minus the gentle lap of the waves and the slight smoldering crackle of flames that still echoed in the air where the shack used to stand.
Bo was the first to sit in the sand. He stretched his legs out and rested
his arms on his knees, looking out in the distance where he could still see a slight silver glow that used to be Claire and Riley’s boat. He looked up at Cain, who had remained standing. “Sit with me a minute.”
Cain obliged.
“Gosh, have you ever seen dusk like this? Beautiful. Just fuckin’ beautiful.” He kept his gaze on the horizon. “Riley adores you. She really does. She’s never looked at me the way she looks at you. I mean, she likes me fine, don’t get me wrong. Even liked it when I used to take her to school and play baseball with her and stuff. But she never looked at me the way she looks at you.” Bo paused. “With complete, total trust. Ha, and that was BEFORE you saved her life.” He snickered slightly.
Cain looked at him. “They’re going to find you, you know.”
Bo kept looking out into the distance. “Claire needs you too. You gave her something I never could.”
“What’s that?”
“Absolution.”
Now Cain’s eyes joined Bo’s and looked toward where the boat had been, gazing out in the distance. “You don’t think you’ll tell them what they want to know. I respect that.” He dug his toe deep into the sand, letting the tiny pebbles bury the edge of his shoe. “But you will.”
A slight smile crept over Bo’s face. “Heard stories, huh?”
Cain hesitated. “My scars didn’t just come from my father.”
Bo sucked in a breath but nodded. “Take care of them, okay?”
Cain grabbed Bo’s hands in his and looked him square in the eyes. “I will.”
His eyes dampened when he realized Bo’s hands shook between his own. “I almost forgot.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a photo. Riley’s arms circled her mom and Bo’s waists. Her tongue stuck out and she had puffed out her cheeks in a silly expression. Claire had her fingers in her nose and was snarling like a rabid animal. And Bo was smiling like he had just won the lottery. Cain handed the photo to Bo. “It fell out of Claire’s stuff. Thought you might want it.”
Bo took it with shaking fingers. “Thank you.”
“You haven’t looked in your pocket.”
Bo glanced at Cain quizzically then slid his hand into the right pocket of his jeans. He wrapped his fingers around something thin and gold and familiar.
“Thought you earned it back.”
Bo nodded, carefully placing the cross necklace that belonged to his wife around his neck and securing the clasp.
Cain rose to his feet and took a step behind Bo. Bo stared at the picture he clutched in both hands. He squeezed it so hard creases formed under the weight of his fingers.
Cain looked at the ground beneath his feet as he raised Jordyn’s gun to the back of Bo’s head. He couldn’t remember the last time he had to tell the tears to stay away. He sucked in a breath and forced himself to turn his eyes toward his target. “Was it worth it?”
“Every single day.”
Cain wanted to look away. He wanted to look away more than anything he had ever wanted in his whole life. But it had to be a clean death. Bo traded his own life for Claire’s. No room for suffering. Bo deserved that much.
He pulled the trigger.
Cain laid Bo’s body on the beach, in the dry sand, facing the direction of the boat that he was supposed to have taken toward his and Claire’s new life. He circled Bo’s body with stones, in the same way he had earlier on their journey.
Riley wasn’t there to make a cross, so instead, he placed the photo under Bo’s hands so he could take it with him to the God that he and Cain both fiercely believed in.
He lit a match.
Darkness had almost fallen completely, and the fire blazed, tall and fierce. Cain took out Jordyn’s gun once again and set it in the palm of his hand.
He didn’t have enough ammo for a twenty-one gun salute, or twenty more guns. So an eight shot salute would have to do. Standing at Bo’s head, he looked up at the darkening sky. “Goodbye, brother.” The night fell swiftly, accompanied by eight clear shots echoing in the darkness.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Renee N. Meland lives in Western Washington with her husband and two dogs. Her favorite obsessions are Rome, learning new recipes, and exploring the world around her. She is an avid reader of speculative fiction, and believes that telling stories is the best job in the world.
Visit her blog at www.reneenmeland.wordpress.com.
Don’t miss the next book in this exciting series…
The Extraction List: Leave Me Lost
Coming soon!
The Extraction List Page 16