by Renea Porter
I finally make my way through the checkout and through the crowd to the food court. I spot Chase right away; he has several bags next to him as he waves me over. “Hey, someone was busy,” I say, playfully nudging him.
“Just keep your nose out of there. Want to get some lunch?” he asks, standing.
“Sure.” I glance around to see what sparks my interest.
“It’s my treat,” Chase says, raising his eyebrows at me.
“Fine, how about Chinese?” I ask, shrugging.
“Chinese it is.”
“What did you get?” Chase asks as we sit with our food several moments later.
“Don’t you worry that preppy head of yours,” I say. “You will see soon enough, since Christmas is tomorrow,” I tell him jokingly.
He just stares at me like I’m some mystical creature. His eyes are so green and bright. I know exactly what he’s thinking. But I just shove my mouth full of food.
“I wish things were different between us, I wish you never met Layne; I can’t help it,” he blurts, catching me off guard again. I stop mid chew, trying to process what he just said. Why does he do this to me?
I tilt my head, not sure what to make of this situation. “Why me? You could have any girl in school.”
“Why not you? You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want to be with you,” he admits.
Well he is a straight shooter. I’ll give him that. “I’m going back to school for New Year’s,” I say in a fast tone.
“For Layne?” he questions, looking at me square in the eye. He knows the answer. “I’m sorry,” he says with furrowed brows, sounding slightly irritated.
“Me too,” I whisper. We eat the rest of our meal in silence. I’m not exactly sure what I can say to make the situation better. I feel like the darkness is closing in and there is nothing I can do about it.
“Is your sister going to be home for Christmas tomorrow?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“I hope so, but I’m not counting on it. She will probably be so strung out she won’t even know tomorrow is Christmas,” I tell him.
“Sorry to hear that,” he says, tilting his head.
After we finish our meals and toss the trash in the nearby can, we pick up our packages and head out to the car. Tomorrow was Christmas, and I had less than 24 hours to wrap all of the gifts I bought.
*****
It’s Christmas morning. In a few more days, I’ll be heading back to school so I can attend Layne’s New Year’s party, but I haven’t broken the news to my parent’s yet. “Morning,” I say as my mom pours coffee in mugs for me and my dad, who is sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper.
“Morning love,” Mom says.
“Listen, I wanted to tell you guys I’m going back to school in a few more days. I won’t be here for New Year’s,” I say in a fast tone. I wanted to get it out before Chase came in for breakfast. I look down at the floor, fearing I may be disappointing my parents.
“Well, that is to be expected. You were going back eventually, anyway. Just make sure to call home often. We miss you here,” Mom says, sitting at the table across from my dad.
“We’re glad to have you for Christmas. Just don’t break that poor kid’s heart,” my dad says looking over the paper. My mom giggles at his comment.
“You two are unbelievable,” I say, smiling.
Mom shrugs. “Maybe she is going back for a boy we don’t know about.”
“Like I said, unbelievable,” I say just as Chase announces his presence.
“Merry Christmas everyone,” he says with a smile.
“Merry Christmas,” we say in unison.
“Amber, you should take Chase ice skating at the emporium. Then you can come home when dinner is ready,” she says.
“Do you know how to ice skate?” I ask Chase as we sit at the table, waiting for breakfast.
“Yes, sounds like fun. I’m game if you are.”
“Okay, we’ll go after breakfast then.”
*****
At the skating rink we get our shoe sizes and I’m a little nervous since I’m not really good at it. I approach the ice while holding onto the rail and Chase looks at me with a puzzled look on his face. “I thought you could skate?”
“I never said I was any good.”
“Hold onto my hand, then.” He steps on the ice, holding his hand out for me to grab. I grab it and skittishly step on the ice.
He grips my hand helping to steady me on the ice, shivers sneak up my spine. “I got you.”
He turns backward so he can pull me forward, so I don’t fall. I’m glad there is hardly anyone here. That way if I do make a fool of myself it won’t be so bad. “Where’d you learn to skate?” I ask Chase, with our hands still entwined.
“I learned when I was little. My brother and sister used to take me all the time,” he says fondly. “I’m going to let go of your hands,” he says as he continues to skate backward. Before I can even argue, he lets go and I all but trip and take him down with me. To make matters worse, I land right on top of him and we both laugh. Rolling off him, I just lay next to him as we continue laughing. I haven’t laughed as much as I have in these last few weeks.
He stands, offering to pull me up. He pulls me too quick and our faces are within inches of each other. His lips almost graze mine when he pulls away. “Want to take a break?” he asks.
“Sure; I could use a hot chocolate,” I tell him as he helps guide me off the rink. We step up to the counter and order hot cocoas, and then we take a seat on a bench. I watch as more people start to come in. “You having fun?” Chase asks, breaking my train of thought.
“Yes, I am; even though I fell on top of you,” I say, blushing.
He chuckles. “At least that’s better than busting your ass on the ice.” We finish of mugs of cocoas and he lends his hand to me once again. This time he skates next to me, his fingers wrapped around mine. We skate around the rink a few more times before calling it a day.
Outside, I toss him my car keys and he catches them mid-air typical. Back at the house, he seems nervous. He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets. “Can I talk to you before we go in?”
“Sure.” We walk over to the stairs and sit on them. He sits next me and hands me a long box.
“I wanted to give you this in private,” he says. Anxiously, I open the box to reveal a silver bracelet with a small dangling sun charm. “You can add more charms if you want. I thought I’d put the first one on there. I got the sun, because that’s what you are to me,” he says.
“Chase, I…”
“Please, let me finish. I have feelings for you and I don’t know if things will change when we get back to school or not. I’m not sure how much longer I can stay in the friend zone. You are like a best friend, but even more than that. I don’t understand why he deserves you, and I don’t,” he says painfully. “But no matter what, you have this from me, as a reminder.”
I watch as his heart breaks into a million pieces. It’s written all over his face. “Oh Chase, I will cherish this forever and ever. It’s so beautiful, and I will never take it off. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know I couldn’t handle it if we weren’t friends. And no one is more deserving than the other. It’s just that I saw Layne first and there is just a pull that draws me to him more.” I feel like I just punched him in the gut, so I hug him and hold my wrist out for him to clip the bracelet on. “Merry Christmas,” I tell him, trying to be as cheerful as possible.
“Well, we better get inside before they come out looking for us,” he says as he stands up.
He places his hand on the small of my back as we step in. Mom has the table set with her fine china and dinner is ready. “Take a seat anywhere,” she instructs. Mom and Dad take a seat on each end of the table, while Chase and I sit across from each other.
“Did you two have fun?” Dad asks.
“Yes,” Chase and I say at the same time.
/> I reach for the potatoes and my bracelet dangles from my wrist. “Oh, is that new?” Mom asks, pointing to it.
“Yep; Chase got it for me for Christmas,” I say as his cheeks start to flush.
“It’s really pretty, Amber,” she says, lightly touching it.
“Thanks,” I respond with a smile.
After dinner I help Mom clear the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, while my dad and Chase settle in the living room.
“Amber, I don’t know why you won’t give that boy a chance. He really likes you. If you could only see the way he looks at you…and he bought you jewelry! A man that buys you jewelry is a keeper. Have I taught you anything?” she says with a smile.
“Mom, you of all people know I can’t. However, there might be a boy at school that I’ve liked since I laid eyes on him at the beginning of school, way before I met Chase,” I blurt out.
“Amber Jean!”
“Shhhhhhh,” I press a finger to my lips.
“Sorry; doesn’t Chase know?” she whispers as we finish up.
“Yes, he knows. He knows that’s why I can’t be with him, otherwise things might be different. I feel bad, like I repeatedly kick him in the gut and he continues to take it. I don’t know what to do. What if I lose him as a friend?” I ask, worried.
“If you lose him, then I hope the one you like is worth it. That’s all I can say. I wouldn’t want to be in your position. You know what’s right for you. I love you, no matter what.” She pulls me close hugging me tight as I blink back the tears that her words brought to my eyes.
What if I end up losing them both because of my stubbornness? What will happen when they find out the truth about me?
“How about some pie; pie always makes things better?” she says, swiping a tear from my eye.
“Sounds good,” I tell her and smile. We put a slice on each serving plate and take it in the living room for us and the guys. We gather around the Christmas tree as I pull all the presents out like old times and pass them out.
“Here; it’s nothing extravagant,” I say, passing two boxes Chase’s way. I watch as he opens one box up, and laughs as he holds up the jeans with holes in them. He opens the next one and sees that there’s an MMA shirt inside. “I like them; thanks!” he says with a big grin.
We finish unwrapping presents, and then I get settled in for the night. Chase walks me to my bedroom, and stops in the doorway. “Want to hunker down with me in the apartment?”
I flash him a look, like he has lost his damn mind. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I thought maybe we could watch A Christmas Story and just have a slumber party. I’ll behave.” He holds his arms up in surrender. Reluctantly, I agree, and change into my pajamas.
“You had me at A Christmas Story.”
Chapter Thirteen
We wake in the early morning hours so we can get on the road and be at OSU before dark falls. My mom makes us breakfast and won’t stop hugging me and Chase both. She invites Chase to visit anytime, with or without me. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not; between with the quietness of my dad, and my mom’s not-so-needed interference with my love life. We both bid my parents good-bye as we pull out of the driveway.
“Ready?” Chase asks.
“Yep; as much as I love my parents, I’m ready to get back. I’m glad you came along as we got to do some fun stuff together,” I tell him with sincerity.
“I’m glad I was able to come, too. Your parents are amazing, but I never got to meet your sister. I wish I had. I had fun, and it definitely beat sitting at the dorm.” He chuckles. “Why don’t you lie back and get some rest; we were up way too late last night?” he suggests.
“Yes we were, but it was fun,” I agree.
We stayed up late into the night watching predictable Christmas movies. We talked, laughed, and just enjoyed being around each other without any other interference. I know things will probably be different when we go back, but in the back of my mind I hope not. I nod off while he continues to drive.
*****
Three hours later, I wake to realize that we are stopping. I blink my eyes open to see that Chase pulled into a gas station. I run in to use the restroom and to freshen up my face. Making my way back to the car, I notice Chase is already in.
“Here, I got you a soda,” he says as I slide in the passenger seat. “We have about an hour left,” he says with a hint of disappointment.
“I don’t want things to change between us,” I blurt out. “I honestly don’t know what I would do without you in my life. You are important to me, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know more about you.” I can’t believe I just said all that, but what do I have to lose? He has to know what he means to me; his friendship means the world to me.
He reaches over and brushes his thumb over a passing tear falling down my cheek. “There will be none of that,” he says, pulling his hand back. “I will do what I can. I’ll be there when you need me, or even when you don’t. So don’t worry about it, okay?”
“Okay,” I say, straightening myself up.
“Do you want to stop and get something to eat? It’s been several hours since we last ate.”
“Yes,” I say as my stomach rumbles in agreement.
He pulls into the first restaurant we happen upon. “This okay?”
“Yes; I didn’t realize I was so hungry,” I tell him.
As we walk in, he places his hand on the small of my back to guide me ahead of him. Still, he’s ever the gentleman. A waitress greets us, and shows us to a booth in the back and hands us each a menu. Chase and I sit across from each other, and he grins at me as he picks up the menu.
“God, I feel like I could eat a horse,” I say, breaking the ice.
He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s on the menu.”
Even though it was an obvious joke, I can’t help bursting out in laughter, much to the dismay of some fellow diners. “Well, damn, I guess I’ll get a cheeseburger and fries,” I say sarcastically disappointed.
The waitress appears, taking our drink and meal orders. Chase stretches his body out and I see the outline of muscles through his shirt. I can’t help it, I’m only a warm blooded, human female.
“We’re almost to campus. Shouldn’t be long now, once we get back on the road,” he says, looking disappointed. “I’ll admit, I just wanted to stop so I could spend some more time with you.” He winks. “In all seriousness, though I appreciate you and your family welcoming me and hosting me for winter break.”
Our food arrives and my stomach rumbles at the smell and Chase rubs his stomach at the sight of the food.
“My family loved you! So you’re lucky my dad never got the shotgun out,” I torment.
“Believe me; your dad is one scary dude. I’d never want to cross him. And he did say you were his baby girl,” he says with wide eyes.
“Well, there you go, what more needs to be said?” I tell him with a giggle. “Honestly, though, I love this. Thank you,” I tell him once more about the bracelet. I’m sure he is sick of hearing me say that. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet my sister, but it’s probably for the best.”
“I’m sorry, too. I would have liked to at least have met her.”
We practically scarf our food down. Then I suddenly feel sick, again. “Excuse me,” I say as calmly as possible so I don’t up chuck everything right there on the table. I walk as fast as possible to the restroom. As I’m leaning over the toilet everything I ate comes right back up, and more follows until, finally, my stomach is empty. I grab a paper towel, run it under cold water, and wipe my face. I look in the mirror and notice that my face is pale. I’m hoping the color comes back by the time I get back to the table so Chase doesn’t realize what happened. I take a minute to calm myself down before going back out there. Nervously, I make my way back to the table.
“Everything okay?” he asks, obviously concerned. “You don’t look so good,” he adds.
“I’m fine,” I say, taking a deep breath and wave him off
.
“Did you just get sick?”
“I said, I’m fine; I promise.”
He nods. “Are you ready to go?” he asks, dropping the subject.
“Ready when you are,” I respond, taking the last of sip of my drink.
He throws money on the table after insisting on paying for mine. Putting his hand on the small of my back, he leads me back out to the car and opens the passenger door for me. I slide in, buckle up, and tilt my head back.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks once again.
“I’m fine, Chase. I promise,” I tell him with a weak smile.
Just as I close my eyes, my phone buzzes. I slide it out of my pocket and see a text from Renee. I haven’t talked to her since the other week. I was hoping she wouldn’t be mad at me.
Bitch, it seems like you’ve been gone forever. However, I won’t be home when you get there, just beware, she says.
I miss you too love and what the fuck does beware mean? I ask.
You’ll see. That’s all she says. I can almost see her smile through the text. She is up to something.
“I’m pulling off the exit, shouldn’t be long now,” Chase says, breaking my train of thought. Getting off this exit means we will be home very soon. I almost miss my bed, but nothing is as comfortable as the one back home. Fondly, I recant all the stuff Chase and I got to do with no interruptions and no interferences, and it makes me smile.
“What’s with the grin?” he asks from the driver’s seat.
“Oh, you know I was just going over everything we got to do over winter break; horseback riding, going to the theater, ice skating among other things.”
“Yeah, we had fun, didn’t we?”
“There was never a dull or boring moment. Watching movies and hanging around the ranch. “Not to mention my parents and their constant attempts at matchmaking. It was enough to keep us occupied,” I tell him.