Ethan didn’t stop at the opposite side of the pool. He flipped inside the water, turned and went for another lap. I did the same; a pool trick that Ethan had taught me. Ethan was not only better than me in the gym, he was better than me in almost any kind of physical activity. Swimming included. He could swim at least ten laps nonstop. I could only do six max.
I was out of breath on my seventh lap, and Ethan was still swimming. No, I couldn’t give up. If I gave up now, it would mean that I wasn’t sincere enough. After all, I was the one at fault in the first place.
When I almost finished my eighth lap, Ethan spun around at the end of the pool and swam past me. I was no longer able to control my breathing. I accidentally chugged in water. My throat burned. I choked and coughed heavily.
I quickly walked over to the poolside to cough at the pool drain instead.
“Liam!” Ethan’s hand came to tap my back repeatedly for relief. “You okay? Take a break if you can’t—”
“P-please, d-don’t be a-angry, E-eth,” I said, still coughing. “I’ll-I’ll do anything. A-anything so that we can be f-friends again.” I coughed again.
Ethan looked at me for a little while. The tension in his face began to ease off slowly. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him. He squeezed us together. “You don’t have to do anything. I’m not angry at you, Liam.”
I took a few deep breaths. My breathing recovered gradually. Ethan waited. And I waited for myself too until I was ready to talk. “Then, why?”
“I was just thinking if we should be friends anymore,” Ethan admitted. He dropped his arm around me. I didn’t like that. The muscles in his face became too relaxed now. No. Not relaxed. He wasn’t angry. He was sad, I realized.
“Why not?” I asked. “We can surely still be the same.”
“You still can, knowing that I have a crush on you?” Ethan asked.
I was quiet. It was a tough question to answer.
Ethan got back into the water and swam again. This time, I didn’t chase after him. I watched him swim from this end to the other. And then from the other, back to me. He didn’t stop. He continued swimming.
I gave it a thought. Would I want Ethan, knowing that he had feelings for me? Would I want someone who had a crush on me to become friends with me? That was stupid. How would that even matter? If there was a girl who had a crush on me, would I mind her if she wanted to become friends with me? If Ethan was never a guy, but a girl, would I mind her as a friend? No. In fact, I already had friends who had a crush on me, and yet I still made friends with them. They never did anything to me. Likewise, Ethan never did anything to me, too, and never would. So, what was more to ponder about? What was I hesitating over for? Again, I was such a...
The moment Ethan returned from his lap, I caught him by his arm and pulled him up.
“What are you doing?!” Ethan snapped, glaring at me.
“I can,” I said to him. “I can, Eth. I don’t care if you have a crush on me. I don’t care if you like me. I just want things to be the same as before. I missed you, Eth. I missed our time together.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at me for a few seconds. He must be thinking if my words were true. Suddenly, he reached his mouth over to mine. But he stopped right before his mouth touched mine.
I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t race. My heart pounding out of my chest. “What are you doing?” I asked. My tone wasn’t angry. It was more of nervousness. I could feel and smell his hot breath so close.
“You’re not scared if I eat you, Liam?” Ethan challenged. “You’re not scared if I’m thinking about how to shove my fucking cock right into your ass all the time, even now?”
What Ethan just said immediately reminded me of what Joanna had said to me when I moved into her place a few days ago.
“You’re not making the wrong choice, Liam,” Joanna said when she was unpacking my belongings for me in my new room.
“I feel bad about this,” I said.
“Look,” Joanna said as she put down my clothes that she was taking out. She hugged me from the back. “Think, Liam. He’s gay. You’re not. And do you know what he will be thinking all the time?”
I had not been able to guess. “No. What would he think?”
“How to get you eaten, Liam,” Joanna answered, almost too softly, like a whisper. She had pronounced eaten as Ethan. “He’ll always be thinking how to get inside you. When you’re asleep. When you’re drunk. When you’re at your most vulnerable state. He is a monster. We should go check up tomorrow. He might have done it already.”
“No!” I exclaimed. “That’s overly exaggerating, babe! Eth won’t do that!”
“Maybe not now,” Joanna had said. “What about later?”
Ethan had retracted his mouth from mine. He was waiting for my answer. He sighed when I remained quiet. “Let’s stop seeing each other, Liam. It’s really the best for the both of us.”
Did he fucking mean he was trying to forget me?
Before he could turn to swim away, I grabbed both his shoulders. I squeezed them hard.
“Ouch!” he exclaimed.
I pulled him closer and made my face as close as to how he had done it to me just now, kissing distance. “Listen to me, Eth. Listen to me very carefully.” I made every word I was about to say loud and clear. “I. Am. Not. Scared. Of You. You hear me? I. Am. Not,” I repeated.
He was staring back at me angrily. His eyes burning in anger. And they told me that what I’d just said wasn’t enough.
“I chose to trust you, Eth,” I continued. “I’m not gonna care if you’re thinking about sticking your cock into my ass all the time. I’m not gonna give a fuck if you imagine me kissing you all the time in class or sleeps. I won’t give a fucking shit. Just as long as you don’t try to do any of it. Just! As long as you can control yourself and promise me that you won’t harm me or force me to do anything that I don’t want to. Then, Eth, we can be friends.” I meant what I’d just said. Hey, I always pictured myself fucking Joanna all the time in my fantasies. But did I actually do it? Was it wrong? No. It was also normal for him to fantasize about me the same way then. Maybe when time had passed, he would move on, meet a new guy and forget about me. I would be happy for him to have a boyfriend.
Ethan was breathing heavily. The flames in his eyes began to dissolve. It was his turn to be quiet now. I waited for him to recover. “I promise you,” he finally said. “I’ll control myself. I’ll behave. And I promise that I won’t harm you or force you to do anything that you don’t want to.”
I nodded with a smile, pleased with his answer. I hugged him. I was glad to have my best friend back.
We did a few more laps together before we decided to call it a day. When we were done, we dried ourselves at the bench with the towels we brought.
“See you in school tomorrow?” Ethan asked me.
“I’ll shower at your place,” I answered. “Joanna won’t be home till late night.”
“Huh?” Ethan wondered. I hadn’t told him about how I needed to sneak out to meet him.
“I’ll tell you later,” I said, grabbing my bag from the bench and walked towards his apartment.
He followed me without asking further details. I still had my key to the apartment. I’d never planned to throw it away. I took it out of my bag when we reached the front door and noticed Ethan smiling.
“What?” I said.
Ethan just shook his head. I shook mine too, unlocked the door, and got in.
When we were in, Samuel was heading towards the kitchen from the living room. An empty glass was in his hand.
His eyes went round the moment he saw us. “Wow, wow, wow! Don’t tell me you both...” he said, his first finger pointing back and forth quickly between Ethan and me.
“No. We’re not together,” I assured him. “We just made up. We’re still best friends.”
“What a shame,” I thought I heard Samuel mutter.
“What?” I said.
; “Nothing,” Samuel said with a smile that was obviously fake. “So you’re moving back in or what?”
Ethan didn’t wait. He walked past me and went into his room straightaway.
I followed behind him as I answered Samuel. “You’re not going out, right? I have something to tell you—I mean, both of you, later.” I didn’t give Samuel the time to reply, which meant he would be obliged to stay and wait for us to come out. He would stay. His desire to satisfy his curiosity was as strong as his desire to pursue his dream.
“What are you doing?” Ethan asked me.
“Shower?” I said.
Ethan fed his eyes with me from head to toe again.
“Can you stop that?” I said.
“Can you stop that?” Ethan asked me back. “Are you teasing me?”
“Teasing you what?” I asked back. Because he didn’t make any sense.
“Go back to your room to bathe,” he said.
“Oh.” I realized what the fuss was all about now. “Sorry, Eth. My old room has no shampoo and all. I’ll shower after you.”
“You can shower first.”
“Sure,” I said and went into his bathroom. I took a quick one so that Ethan didn’t have to stay cold outside for long. When I was done putting my clothes on and Ethan was going into the bathroom for his turn, Samuel knocked on the door.
“Hey, what you wanna say, Liam? I really gotta go out now!”
I went out and told Samuel about it then, that Joanna didn’t know about what happened that night. I’d sneaked out to meet Ethan so that Joanna wouldn’t have to worry about me. And to keep it that way, I planned to keep my current relationship with Ethan a secret. I told the same thing to Ethan when he came out from his shower.
“Okay,” Ethan agreed as he dropped the towel he was drying his hair with into the laundry basket by the door. “I won’t tell her,” he said and came over to sit with me on the bed. “But why?”
“She’s constantly scared that I would be eaten by you,” I said.
“Eaten by Ethan,” he sniggered. He made his eyebrows jump once and bared his upper jaw, showing his non-intimidating fangs.
We laughed.
“What you wanna do now?” Ethan asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Did you do anything for our assignment?”
Ethan was shocked. His expression was priceless because it was so slow-motioned. Slowly, he gasped. “Fuck!” He smacked his own forehead. “Fuck, fuck! I’ve totally forgotten about it! How long do we still have?” he said as he checked his phone. “Less than a week?! Oh, shit! Shit!”
“Chill, Eth!” I put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. “I’ve done it.”
Ethan’s eyes widened. “You’ve done it?”
I laughed. “Not all. Halfway. I did some of your parts too. Wanna work on it together now? I’ll go back to Jo’s apartment and get my laptop.” That was when my stomach suddenly growled.
He laughed happily. “Sure, sure. I’ll go buy us some food in the meantime.”
We both got out of the house together. We parted ways when we reached the first floor. He went out to the town to grab food while I walked to Joanna’s apartment to grab my laptop. Walking from building B to E wasn’t far. The pool area was the shortcut.
I smiled all the way, really glad that Ethan and I could be friends again. The past few days were really hard without him, especially when I had to put up a certain persona that wasn’t me at all. When I was guessing what he would buy for me to eat, my phone pinged once.
Joanna sent me a text. I opened it and found her sending a picture of her with her bride friend.
I smiled. You’re more beautiful than her.
Thx, babe! She’ll be so mad when she sees this.
Don’t ruin her day pls. Haha. I replied to her.
I will. :P
I shook my head. Naughty.
When I got back to Ethan’s apartment, I set up my laptop in his room, thinking it would be more comfortable to do our assignment there with the comfy bed. I found his laptop in his school bag and helped him set up as well. I knew his password of course. Ethiam. It was our code name in high school when we were playing Spy. Those were great times.
I waited for almost half an hour. Ethan hadn’t returned yet. I checked my phone to see if he had left any message. Nope. He didn’t. I tried to call him. There was no response. I tried again. Nope. He didn’t pick up.
I got worried. I quickly left the house to see if he was anywhere near.
I looked down at the pool area and the pathways leading towards the other buildings. There were a few people walking but none of them was Ethan. Maybe I should go out looking for him.
Just when I turned to walk towards the elevator, suddenly I was surrounded by four men in black clothes. Each of them wore a ski mask and each held a wooden stick. Before I had the time to even react, one of them shoved me to the ground. They started hitting me with the sticks.
“Argh!” I shouted in pain.
“Argh!” one of them suddenly screamed. A paper bag of food burst open and spilled all over the floor. The same person continued to scream as steam rose from his mask. The hot soup from the bag must have burned him.
“Liam!” Ethan threw himself onto me without a second thought. He landed on top of me on all fours. The bad guys continued hitting. It wasn’t me that they hit anymore. It was Ethan. Ethan shielded me with his back. While he was defending me, I could tell he kept pulling his head back, just so that his mouth wouldn’t touch any part of my face. He did that as if he was concerned that I would have the wrong idea if his mouth accidentally touched mine.
His eyes gazed into mine, making sure that every part of me was safe. And through his eyes, I could see his pain each time he was hit. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout “Stop!”. It ached so much seeing Ethan like that, taking in all those blows for me. No. I didn’t just see them. I felt them. Every part of it. All the pain. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t scream. I lost my voice. I was scared. Not of the bad guys. But for Ethan.
One of the bad guys’ stick broke into halves smashing Ethan’s back. Ethan choked, coughing badly. His saliva landed on my face. There was a hole in my heart.
Ethan grunted and pushed himself up from the ground. He spun in the air once on his way up and launched a backhanded blow at one of the bad guys, throwing all of them off-guard. He blocked another guy’s attack and caught his stick, surprising them all. Now that he had a weapon, Ethan fought back at once.
But Ethan was no match against four. He was alone. While Ethan was able to hit one of them, there were still the other three who were hitting him. But Ethan never stopped. He kept going, hitting the same person until the man fell and began to back off.
“Hey, stop!” someone from far off shouted.
Frightened, the bad guys immediately fled the scene.
Ethan was gasping hard for air. His whole body in a mess. He dropped the stick he was holding and turned to look at me, as if to make sure I was okay. He smiled when he saw what he wanted to see. He fell.
“Eth!” I finally found my strength to get up and ran towards him. I managed to catch him right before he hit the ground.
“Eth, Eth,” I tried to shake him. “Eth!” Despite his face full of blood, he fell unconscious with his smile still on his face. He was so stupid. Why?! “No, no, no! Eth! Don’t leave me! I forbid you to leave me!” I hugged him into my chest.
Just when I thought I’d gotten my friend back, I was about to lose him again.
4
Girlfriend or Best Friend
(Liam)
“P lease, Eth, please! Stay strong! Please, please!” I begged as I helped the nurses push the gurney towards the emergency department. Ethan didn’t look like he was beaten. He looked like he had been hit by a car.
The doctor approached us the moment he saw us coming. “What’s the condition?”
“Unconscious, heavy bruises, head trauma—” one of the nurses answered.
I
went to the doctor and begged him. “Please, doctor. You gotta save my friend. You gotta do all you can. You gotta—”
“I will.” The doctor took my hands kindly and gave me a firm grip. “Stay here for a while, okay? I’ll do my best,” he said and entered the room where Ethan had been pushed into and pulled the curtain closed.
I put my hands together to pray. Please, God. Don’t take him away from me. Please don’t. I’ll do anything. Anything.
“Babe!” Joanna’s voice came from the direction of the corridor I’d just passed through.
I turned around and saw her running towards me in her long glittery dress and high heels. “Babe!”
I hugged her straight. “Oh, babe!” I broke into tears.
“Babe, what happened?” she said as she patted my back. “Don’t cry, don’t cry. I’m here.”
I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even know who those bad guys were. Were they thieves? Didn’t seem like it. Were they robbers? No. They didn’t ask me for money. They just hit me without demanding anything. Who had I mess with? Who had I offend? I shook my head. “I don’t know. They just…” I hugged her again. “Eth… Eth…”
“Ethan... What?” she asked.
Right. Earlier, I had told her that I was in the hospital, but I didn’t tell her anything about being with Ethan. “Ethan protected me from a bunch of bad guys. He took all the blows for me. He’s in there now.”
“Oh…” Joanna continued to pat me. She said nothing else.
“Liam? Liam!” Nathalie arrived next. She came from the same corridor where Joanna had come from. Olivia and Duncan were behind her.
“Nat.” I let go of Joanna.
“Where’s Eth?” Nathalie panted. Olivia and Duncan were panting too. They must have sprinted across the hospital to get here. “Please don’t tell me he’s—”
A Monster's Love Page 5