“I thought you were gonna go work,” I said.
“A little bit more, babe,” he said.
I smiled and held his arms, feeling his warmth and the comfort.
I took Uber to the hospital. When I got to the emergency department to look for Max, something happened. Max was pushing an occupied gurney across the corridor. The patient’s head was full of blood. I hurriedly followed them. I stopped the moment they entered the operation room. Max’s nurse—I didn’t know her name, but I could recognize her face—ran past me and went into the room with two other doctors.
I figured I couldn’t do anything anyway, so I went back to the emergency department to wait for Max. I waited for him at his desk. Max came back not long after.
“How is she?” I asked.
Max shook his head. “It was too late. She lost too much blood and her head was severely damaged. We did our best.”
“What happened?” I asked curiously.
“Heard it was a car accident. Drunk driver most likely. She was just walking home from work.”
I shivered. Life was so unpredictable. And fragile. “You okay?”
Max nodded. “Don’t worry. I’m used to it.”
I was impressed how Max could still be himself. Because I could definitely not. I was traumatized for a short while. I mean, I’d came and seen someone covered in blood, and then a few minutes later, she was dead? I couldn’t...
Together, we went outside to eat. He said he was sick of the same menu in the hospital’s cafeterias. I could understand. Sometimes Ethan and I were sick of the menu on campus, too, especially when they weren’t many healthy options. He drove me to a vintage cafe nearby.
“You okay?” Max asked me.
I sighed. “Yeah.”
Max waited. He gave me time to recover.
“Sorry you had to see that,” Max said after we placed our orders. “Must be hard. It was hard for me too, during my younger years.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, what is it that you want to ask me?” Max asked. “Is this about Ethan again?”
I swallowed. I still remembered our last conversation. I nodded. “We’re together now.”
“Really?” Max smiled satisfyingly. “What happened?”
“Turns out you were right all along. I only realize it when…” I told him everything that had happened at the carnival. Max was fascinated by the story. He kept asking me, ‘what happened then?’ whenever I paused. By the time I finished telling him, our food came and I’d totally forgotten about what I’d seen in the hospital.
We began eating.
“Knew it,” Max said. “Even Theo could tell.”
“I know, I know,” I said back. “Even my housemate said the same, too. Thanks, Max. For listening to me all the while and trying to tell me.”
“You’re welcome,” Max smiled. “Anyway, so what is it that you want to ask? Is there some identity issue you’re facing?” he guessed.
“No. I actually came for your advice, Max,” I said, cutting my grilled chicken. I took a bite before I continued. “On how to be a good boyfriend. I’m all new to this. I’ve googled and found some info but I think it’s still best to hear from a real person.”
Max sniggered. “Are you serious?
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m serious, Max.”
Max raised an eyebrow. Then, he nodded, acknowledging it. “Okay,” he took a bite of his fish before he started the How To Be A Good Gay Boyfriend 101 lecture. “First of all…” He gave me a long list of dos and don’ts. Secondly, he talked about the top behaviors that would ruin a relationship. Thirdly, he shared what he had gone through with Theo and taught me how to avoid all the unnecessary conflicts that had stirred up between them. Fourthly... Well, there was more, but all in all and in short, I had to always put myself in Ethan’s shoes and think about whether he would like it or not before doing something.
“Honesty and trust are two of the most important things in a relationship. They’re what keep the relationship together,” Max continued. “Without them, the relationship is never true and that means that you both will always suspect and doubt each other for many things. But the most important of all, Liam, is to be yourself. That’s the reason why he liked you in the first place. For who you are.”
I nodded. “Got it.”
“Hold on,” Max said. “Have you guys done it yet?”
“Done what?”
“Sex?”
I smiled. No. I think I beamed. That was the best thing that had ever happened to me. “Yeah.”
Max laughed at my smile. “Did you guys use condoms?”
“We need to?” I wondered. I’d never heard of gays getting pregnant.
“It’s best to,” Max said. “To avoid STD.”
“STD?” I blinked twice. “Like sexually transmitted disease?”
“Yeah, unless you’re sure both you and Ethan are healthy.” Max took a sip of his drink.
I’d never thought of that. “Definitely not me,” I said, taking a sip of my drink too. “I gave my virginity to Ethan two days ago. I trust Ethan, though. I’m sure he’s healthy.”
“You can bring him to me for testing,” Max suggested. “Or you can ask him first, whether he had any sexual activities before.”
I swallowed and nodded. I didn’t know how I should ask Ethan. Would his feelings get hurt if I asked him directly? Or would it be worse if I did it indirectly? “But does it matter, though, if he really has an STD?”
Max looked at me for a while. He wiped his mouth with a tissue before he decided an answer in his head. “It depends on how deep you both love each other. It’s just best to let both of you know, so that both of you can handle the problem together.”
I nodded again.
“Hey, no offense, okay?” Max worried. “I’m not suspecting that Ethan has any, but it’s just to make sure. As a friend and also a doctor, I want you both to have a healthy, happy relationship.”
I nodded again. “Okay, understood, doctor. Thanks.”
“That’s about it. Anything else you wanna ask?” Max asked. We were done with our meal.
I shook my head. “Nope. I can text you, right? If I’m not sure of something.”
“Of course.” Max nodded. “Oh, by the way…” He straightened up and looked left and right, as if to check if anyone was listening. When he made sure no one was, he leaned forward. “You free this coming Monday? I’m looking for someone’s help. It’s very simple to do. Since you know Theo too, and you’re his sister’s best friend, I think you’re just the person I need.”
“Huh?” I wondered.
“I’ll tell you. But promise me you won’t tell Nathalie or Ethan, okay?”
“Not even Eth?” I said.
“Yup,” Max nodded. “I don’t want to risk it.”
When I got home, I still couldn’t believe what Max had asked me to do. Actually, I still couldn’t believe what he was about to do. He told me to bring Theo with us to the celebration of Ethan and me, and Olivia’s championship. Of course, he asked me if it was okay and I answered that none of us would mind, knowing what would be happening based on what Max had told me. And honestly, knowing Olivia, I believed she wouldn’t mind at all.
I couldn’t wait to see Ethan. I didn’t know why I decided to go home first. Oh right. We still had one more report to do for the semester and I didn’t bring my laptop with me. I was planning to finish up some parts tonight, including Ethan’s. Because if Ethan was going to work until he finished his first month, no doubt he wouldn’t have the time to do the report properly without sacrificing some of his usual routine like workout time. Wouldn’t want that for my babe.
When I reached the front door, there was a huge, nicely wrapped gift basket on the floor. I blinked a few times at it. Were my eyes playing trick? Or was this a robbery trick? I quickly looked around to see if anyone was getting ready to pounce on me, but there was simply no place for anyone to hide.
I decided to pick it up. Insi
de the basket were lots of stuff: jars of cookies, bread, a bottle full of colorful stars, and there was a bouquet of small, beautiful roses. I counted the roses. There were fifteen of them, meaning apology and asking for forgiveness. There was a card on the wrapping and I turned it open to read.
To, Liam, my babe. I’m really sorry for what I’ve done. I hope you could give us a chance to make things right. I made these for you myself, babe. Joanna, your love.
My head hurt from what I was reading. This woman... I thought I had been so clear with her already. I took a deep breath to try to cool down. I took the basket and went to her apartment. I didn’t have her house key anymore—I’d thrown it away since I’d left. I banged the front door a few times.
It was Joanna who opened the door. Great. Which meant I didn’t have to go in to look for her.
I held out the basket to her. “Take it back, Jo.”
“Babe…” she tried.
“Stop calling me that, Jo. I’m not your babe anymore,” I said calmly. I placed the basket on the floor in front of her. “And don’t waste your time doing all this stuff anymore. It won’t work. I won’t come back to you. We’re done.”
“Why? How can you be so cruel, babe?” Joanna began to cry.
It touched my heart a little. But I told myself I couldn’t fall for that. I thought of Ethan. In a situation like this, Ethan would usually choose not to talk anymore. He would think it would be a waste of time and it wouldn’t be worth it. He would just walk away. I did the same, turning and walking away.
She grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “How can you do this, babe?! How could you forget everything that we’ve been through together?! Don’t you remember all the promises that you’ve made?!”
I pulled my wrist away from her. I turned so that I was facing her again and told her right to her face: “How could you not remember everything that we’ve been through when you left me alone that night? Don’t you remember all the promises that you’ve made?” I asked her back. Many times she had said she would not leave me, and that she would always be by my side no matter what. But that night... that night... she...
“I’m sorry,” Joanna said and reached for my wrist again. “I know it’s my fault. I left you, I know! I was a jerk. I was an asshole. I was selfish. I didn’t think of you but only myself.” She sniffled, her face all wet. She wiped the tears and continued talking. “That’s the most regretful thing that I’ve ever done. Please give me a chance, babe. Let me fix this, okay? Let me fix me and this relationship.”
I had to admit, I was touched. For real this time. If Ethan had never existed, perhaps I might have forgiven and given her another chance. But looking at how things were right now, I just knew Joanna wasn’t the right one for me. The basket she’d prepared for me was a clear example.
I pushed her hand away from my wrist this time. “After so long, you still don’t understand me well.”
She noticed where I was looking. She took up the basket. “Did I do something wrong, babe? If I did, tell me. I’ll change it.”
“Stop!” I snapped. My entire body quivered. If she wasn’t a woman, my fist would have already landed on her jaw. “I’ll just say this one more time. Stop calling me babe! Ethan is my babe now, not you!”
Joanna began to breathe heavily. She threw the basket back on the ground. “What spell did that fucking fag put on you?!”
What the fuck did she just call Ethan?! I pushed her.
She fell backward. Her eyes widened in disbelief. This was my first time using physical violence against her.
“It won’t be just a push if you ever call Eth that again,” I warned her.
“What you’re choosing is wrong, Liam!” Joanna shouted. “You’re a straight guy! He’s gay! Both of you are not meant for each other!”
“You’re wrong, Jo,” I said back, finally satisfied when she no longer called me babe. “I was never straight.” I turned to walk away. It was true, because all the while, I’d followed a lot of hot guys on Instagram, and a lot of times, even when I was with Joanna, I was checking them out too. I used to think it was because I idolized them for their bodies, like role models in fitness, but now that Ethan had fucked me inside out, I was definitely sure of it.
“Babe, babe, babe!” Joanna shouted behind me. “Liam Eastwood!”
I ignored her and jogged to the elevator. When she was about to catch up, I hit the “door close” button. The doors managed to close in time before she could enter.
I hurriedly went back to my apartment to grab my laptop. I regretted it immediately because when I got back out, Joanna was waiting for me at the front door.
“I’m not letting you leave me, babe!” Joanna said.
This woman made no sense. I was terrified of her now. I finally understood why Samuel needed to kiss me in order to get rid of Daisy. I wished Ethan was here now. To help me get rid of her.
“Hey, Liam!” Someone suddenly twisted my ear. It was so painful that my legs have to fail for a second. I almost fell.
Nathalie was suddenly beside us. Since when had she arrived? She was alone, though, carrying her purse. Jerry was nowhere. “Are you getting back with her again? Don’t fucking tell me you’re planning on having them both, you greedy ass! You’ll break Ethan’s heart!” She kicked my ankle.
“Ow! No! I’m not, Nat! Just that this bitch refuses to give up. I told her we’re done already.”
“Oh.” Nathalie blinked a few times at me. “Hi, bitch,” Nathalie greeted Joanna. “Didn’t see you there. Anyway, it’s too late for you to get back Liam.”
“And why is that?” Joanna asked, jerking her chin up.
Nathalie rolled her eyes. “That’s because he’s already eaten by Ethan,” she said. “He’s Ethan’s already.”
I turned my head to gawk at her, my eyes wide open and my jaw dropped.
“Eaten?” Joanna pretended to not know what Nathalie meant.
“I’ll spell it out for you.” Nathalie took a step forward towards Joanna. She leaned forward so that her mouth was right in front of Joanna’s face. “That means Ethan fucked Liam good. He seeded him. The Liam you know is no longer clean. His body is now full of little Ethans.”
Joanna’s jaw dropped this time. She looked at me. I wasn’t sure if her eyes were filled with anger or disgust. She stomped her foot and stormed away.
I couldn’t believe Nathalie could so easily make her go away. But still, I didn’t like the details she gave out. “Don’t you think that’s a bit too much?”
“What?” Nathalie said back. “I thought you said you’re proud to have Eth.”
“Yeah, but I think that’s a little too explicit,” I said. “It should only be between me and Ethan. How did you even know anyway?” I tried to avoid her eyes. I was shy.
Nathalie blinked twice. “Oh, so you’re really the bottom? Aw…” She pawed me on the arm. “Aw… I actually just made that up to scare Joanna off, Liam.” She grinned.
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped again. What the fuck? “How could you, Nat?! You tricked me!” No. I gave it out myself. Fuck. My face was suddenly so hot that I had to fan it with my hands.
Nathalie guffawed. “It’s okay.” She tapped my shoulder once—I glared at her. “I don’t judge. Both are treated equally no matter who’s the top or the bottom. And I did the job, right? I got rid of her for you. So don’t complain. Let’s go.” She began walking towards the elevators.
She was right. What mattered most was that Joanna was gone. “Go where?” I caught up with her.
Nathalie grinned. “Go see your Eth-Eth. Isn’t that what you’re planning to do?”
How did she know? “Psychology students are scary,” I commented. The reason she was outside my apartment just now was probably to look for me to go visit Ethan together.
“Ah-ah!” Nathalie made a disagreeing expression. “Not all. Only me.” She pointed to herself proudly.
I laughed. “Okay, okay. Thanks,” I said as we entered the elevator. “Oh yeah, about Th
eo...”
16
Yes or No
(Liam)
E than thrust into me fully without holding back. With every ram, he filled me full of love, comfort, and pleasure. The feeling was irresistible. The feeling was undeniable. And the feeling was mutual. We were both into this, always hungry for each other, like beasts that had been holding back for years. Staying under his chest and abs with his arms around me was the best place I could be. It was so warm, so cozy, and so hot.
I moaned. My cock couldn’t hold much longer. “I’m gonna cum, babe!”
Suddenly, Ethan took his cock out of me. Fuck. Why did he do that? He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, exposing my cock to the air. I wasn’t mad. Because he looked so fucking hot like that, kneeling in front of me with his cock flared up, and his chest, his abs, his arms, his thighs, all drenched in sweat. Without warning and with a grunt, he pushed my legs up and inserted his cock back into me, in just one thrust, completely experienced. I moaned, feeling him hitting my spot. He continued ramming.
He looked into my eyes as he did. His eyes full of anger and sadness. It must be those pent-up feelings from the past. It was then I told myself I didn’t care if he wanted to fuck me day and night. I would just give it to him to make it up to him. He reached his mouth down to kiss me. I kissed him back.
I couldn’t hold back much longer. I was trying to wait for him, but I failed. I moaned, the loudest—Ethan hurriedly covered my mouth with his hand, his hand tasted salty, stimulating me even more. I came, squirting into both of our abs.
Ethan smiled, slowing down his ramming.
“I’m sorry, babe,” I said.
Ethan laughed once. “What are you sorry for?”
“I came first.” I looked down. I must have disappointed him.
“Doesn’t matter,” he said and rammed me once. I couldn’t help but moan again. Ethan quickly covered my mouth with his hand again. “I get to see how your face look like when you cum, babe.”
Fuck.
“But I won’t let you go yet,” Ethan said and resumed his speed. He was ramming me again as he continued to press his hand against my mouth. “You’re gonna have to wait for me first.”
A Monster's Love Page 24