by C. J. Archer
He pulled a face. "Perhaps as a middle name." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the flattened and crumpled roll of parchment. "Be careful, Cara. Please."
I took the parchment and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"When you get to the demon realm, try to resist the hunger and…fear. Everything will go better for you if you remain calm."
"I will. With any luck, I'll be back by the morning."
"You had better be. I don't want to be the one to tell the others that I assisted you to go through the portal."
I tucked the parchment up my sleeve and headed back along the corridor and down the stairs. The household was quiet; everyone had gone to their rooms to rest and recover. It was easy to slip out and reach the ruins undetected. There was enough moonlight that I didn't fall over any stones, but not enough that I could be easily seen from the house if someone looked out a window.
I unrolled the parchment, drew in a deep breath, and spoke the words from the ancient spell. A breeze caressed my skin then grew in strength until my hair was rippling behind me. The air in front of me swirled then the center yawned wide. I could not see an end to the black tunnel beyond.
I drew in a deep breath and then, before I lost my nerve, jumped through.
Darkness surrounded me. It sucked at me, pulling me through the portal. I'm not ashamed to say that fear gripped my insides, and I almost regretted choosing this path.
But then the darkness ended and I was spat out…somewhere. I lay on the ground, unharmed. The earth smelled of damp soil and grass, just like home. I was in some sort of meadow, with yellow flowers sprouting in clumps and trees surrounding it on two sides. On the other sides, more fields stretched as far as the eye could see, over a series of gently rolling hills. A cloudless blue sky was exactly where I expected it to be. The place looked so English. Surely there'd been a mistake and I'd simply traveled from one portal to another within the same country.
My curiosity gave way to a more pressing need. I was starving. My stomach felt like a giant cavity in my body. I tried to ignore it, but it growled in protest. The need to eat was overwhelming, and drove me to get up and explore.
I checked for signs of life, hoping to beg a pie or slice of bread from a kind farmer. A slender stream of smoke rose from behind the trees, so I headed in that direction. The air was clear, the walk easy, and the trees not overly dense. They were similar to trees that grew in our realm, although not quite like any species that I'd seen. Their trunks had a blue-gray tinge to them, and their leaves were larger, greener, and the forest canopy denser.
The smoke came from a small settlement nestled in a clearing. I pressed myself into a tree trunk and watched people—demons—coming and going. The buildings reminded me of something from history books, with mud and daub houses, thatched roofs, and unpaved streets. There were no vehicles of any kind that I could see, and no horses, although I did spot pigs in a pen. It was all so quaint and domestic. So normal.
Except for the demons wandering about. They wore no clothing, but walked upright, not hunched like they were when they came to our realm. Nor were they the snarling, saliva-dripping creatures I was used to seeing come through the portal. These were civilized by comparison. The creatures that were wrenched from here to our world resembled wild, vicious wolves. These ones, while still having the same features, were more like pet dogs, albeit on two legs. There was nothing threatening about them.
It made me feel horrid for the ones forced through the portal against their will. Being summoned turned them into creatures of death and destruction, but I could see what Quin meant when he said they were a peaceful species on the whole. I supposed Jack's mother was a testament to how they could be gentle-natured if they came through the portal of their own volition.
A paw clamped down on my shoulder, shoving me into a tree. Bark scratched my face and the wind was knocked out of me. I gasped and spun round, my hands up to defend myself.
The large, furry demon face peered back at me, so close that I could smell its putrid breath. Its small, yellow eyes peered back at me from beneath a thick brow. It sniffed my hair and throat, then licked me with a slippery tongue.
I screamed. Despite Tommy's warning, I felt anything but calm. If this creature was peaceful, why had it shoved me into the tree? Why was it baring its fangs and snarling at me? Its paws waved in the air, so close to my head that I feared it would knock me out. It continued to snarl and growl and gesticulate. Then it clamped its paw over my mouth.
No peaceful creature would treat a stranger like that. It was just my luck to be found by a demon of Edith Myer's ilk, with a nasty streak.
I tried to suck in air, but that only drew the stench of demon breath and fur into my nostrils, my lungs. I coughed, but with the paw still over my mouth, it was more of a choke. The creature moved closer, smothering me with all that fur. The long teeth were frighteningly close. One bite could rip off half my face.
With a surge of fear-fueled energy, I shoved it in the chest. I didn't think I was strong enough to push it away, but the demon let me go. It stared at me through those yellow eyes with what I thought was curiosity. Perhaps it hadn't meant to hurt me or scare me. Perhaps our meeting had simply got off on the wrong foot and I'd overreacted.
But then it grabbed both my wrists in its paw and jerked me alongside it.
"Stop!" I shouted. "No, please! I don't wish you any harm! I want to get to Purgatory."
It didn't acknowledge my words, just marched me forward. I tried to pull away, but it tightened its grip. I winced as pain spiked up my arms, but didn't try to escape again.
The demon hailed someone in the village as we walked in. Several of them stopped what they were doing and stared at me. Jaws dropped. Eyes widened. Perhaps they'd never seen a female human. Or perhaps this village had never seen humans before at all. I couldn't be certain if the portal had spat me out in the same place Myer or Tommy and Jack had found themselves.
"Please, I mean you no harm. Let me go." I struggled again, but that only resulted in a more bruising grip. The blood slowed in my veins; my arms grew numb.
I whimpered with the hopelessness of it all. How could I communicate with them without words or gestures? Two demons came up to us and exchanged words with my captor. They seemed heated to me, but it was difficult to tell. Their natural speech could be snarling, grunting and growling for all I knew.
One of the demons nodded then walked off, while the other lingered, its eyes skimming my length. Was I being sized up for the dinner table?
I shuddered, but tried to keep Quin's assurance at the forefront of my mind—demons weren't a dangerous species. At that moment, I wondered how well he knew them.
The one holding me jerked me forward. It let go of my hands, finally, and I rubbed them until my circulation returned. The demon prodded me in the back then pushed me through the door of a crude building. I landed on my hands and knees, my sore cheek smacking against the hard packed earth.
The door behind me slammed shut and a bolt slid home on the other side.
I scrambled up and shook the handle, but nothing happened. I banged on the wooden door, but nobody came to rescue me. If anyone was on the other side, I couldn't tell. There were no voices, no sounds of footsteps walking past.
I looked around the room, but there were no windows or other doors. Light filtered through the small gaps between the walls and roof, but it only showed me that the room was entirely empty. It didn't even contain a chair.
I pressed against sections of the wall, but it was solid. Perhaps the roof would be weaker, made only of thatch, but how to get up there? The walls were too smooth and too high to climb. I could dig under them, but with what tools? Perhaps later, if they fed me and gave me a spoon, I could hide it and use it at night. Then I could flee to one of the more peaceful settlements the others had spoken of.
But what if they didn't feed me? What if I was the meal instead?
I sat down on the floor, pulled my knees up, and sobbed
into them.
At some point I must have stopped crying. I lost track of time completely. I was no longer ravenously hungry. Anxiety had replaced hunger. The minutes—hours?—became an endless stream of nothingness. It was still daylight, but perhaps the days and nights in the demon realm were different to ours.
The sliding of the bolt jerked me fully to attention. I scrambled backward into the far corner and cursed my foolishness for not bringing a weapon with me. Why had I come so poorly prepared? Because Quin had said the demon realm was unthreatening.
Quin. The figure standing in the doorway, outlined by the light behind, had his shape. I rubbed my eyes and got to my feet. When I pulled my hands away, the figure had moved. He stood in front of me, scowling.
"You look a mess," Quin said.
I bit my wobbly lip, but that didn't stop my tears. He opened his arms and I stepped into them. I buried my face in his bare chest and breathed in the familiar scent of him. My relief at seeing him was overwhelming and utterly consuming. I couldn't stop crying, and I hated my weakness as much as the fear that his arrival had now banished.
He swept my hair off my shoulders and massaged my neck, shushing me like a baby. "It's all right, Cara. No one will hurt you." He stroked my back, my head, my neck, and waited patiently until I finally composed myself.
He grasped my shoulders, but I didn't want him to move away. I circled my arms around his waist and clung to him. I wasn't the brave, defiant woman I wanted to be. Not always, anyway.
"Cara, you should not—"
"Don't. Don't tell me I shouldn't have come. It won't change anything."
He sighed. "Very well." He took my hand and went to walk off.
I snatched my hand back. "Where are you taking me?"
"Home." He spoke with tired resignation, so unlike him. Had the events at Frakingham exhausted him? But he was no longer on our realm. Surely he didn't need sustenance and sleep in Purgatory.
"Did the administrators send you here to rescue me?"
He shook his head.
"Then why are you here? Some other warrior business?"
He looked away. "Come. I'll take you home."
"No, Quin. Tell me why you came? And how?"
He crossed his arms but still did not look me in the eye.
"If it's not warrior business, then…are you here unofficially? Because you knew I needed you?"
When he didn't answer, I grabbed his arm and shook it. He sighed again. "Aye."
"Oh, Quin." I stood on my toes and brushed my lips against his.
He responded with a brisk, dry kiss, then drew away.
I regarded him levelly. "Is your unofficial visit here going to be a problem?"
"No."
I couldn't tell if that was a lie to appease me or not. His face was a closed mask. "Go on."
"I knew you were here and that you were scared when the demon found you. You shouldn't have resisted, Cara. The demon mistook your resistance for hostility."
"But he was so rough with me."
"They are a naturally strong species. Those paws do not know how to be gentle."
"But its words were harsh, like it was angry at me for intruding."
"And he said your screaming hurt his ears. He had to make you stop, so perhaps that made him rougher with you. They have very sensitive hearing."
"Oh. So they weren't going to roast me and eat me for dinner?"
The corner of his mouth twitched. "No, even though you look like a tasty morsel to me."
His teasing eased my mind somewhat. Yet he hadn't fully answered my questions about his timely arrival. "You say you heard about me being here. Did you ask for permission to come?"
"Aye."
"And?"
"And the administrators refused. They said it wasn't warrior business."
"Really?"
"I came of my own volition."
"You defied the Purgatory administrators? Is that allowed?"
"It's…not ideal."
"Not ideal! Quin! What will happen to you? What punishment…?" I broke off. After his first visit to our realm undertaken without permission, he'd suffered a flogging upon his return to Purgatory. The spirit of Father Ignatius from St. Etheldreda's church had said Purgatory kept a tight leash on its warriors. A leash that Quin had broken twice now. They'd punished him and given him a second chance after the last time. Would they be so forgiving now?
"Don't fret, Cara." He gripped my arms and dipped his head to meet my gaze. "I'll be all right. Now, you must go home."
I sucked in my wobbling lip and waited until I had control over my tears. "No, Quin. I've come this far. I must speak to them. Take me to Purgatory, please."
His fingers squeezed then sprang apart, letting me go. "Are you mad? Aye, you must be. Go home, Cara. Accept that this is the way it has to be."
"I can't accept!" I was shouting now, but I didn't care. It wasn't like the demons could understand me. If the administrators were listening in…good. "You have rescued me countless times, Quin. Now I want the chance to rescue you."
His mouth twisted as he tried to hold in his emotions. His mask rarely cracked like this, and I welcomed the rare glimpse into his deepest thoughts, even though they were troubled ones. "You can't."
"I only want the chance to try. I have to try. I'm compelled to do so."
"Why?"
"Why did you defy the administrators and come here against their wishes?"
His heavy swallow was loud in the silence. "Because I love you," he whispered. "I love you like I've never loved anyone before. I ache to see you, and I hated knowing you were afraid and alone." He lifted his gaze to mine. Raw emotion pooled in the depths of his eyes and threatened to spill out.
I touched his face, stroking his cheek, wishing there was something I could say to ease his pain. But how could I when I felt so much pain myself?
"Cara, I'm afraid to exist without you, yet I don't want to move on until I know you will be waiting for me at my destination."
My cheeks dampened, and I realized I was crying. "Then let me fight for you to come and live with me."
"It has never happened before."
"Everything has a first time."
"They won't want to set a precedent."
"They don't have to tell anyone."
He sighed heavily, and his shoulders drooped with the effort.
"I know the chance of success is slim," I said. "But if I don't try…I'll have to live with the guilt of giving up for the rest of my life."
He pressed his forehead to mine. "And I cannot live with the guilt if they condemn you for the attempt."
"How can they condemn me for doing everything I can to save my love?"
His lips touched mine in a tender kiss that was more powerful than any he'd ever bestowed on me. I placed my arms around his neck and pressed my length against his. We held each other as close as possible, not willing to let the other go. Not able to.
Suddenly he was pulling me and swirling me around and around, like an out of control waltz. No. Wait. Something else was dragging at us, whisking us out of that mud hut, out of the demon realm. I felt like I was being sucked through a hole and into a void by a strong cyclone.
"Quin!"
"It's all right." He held me against his chest. "It will end soon."
"Where are we going?"
"Purgatory."
CHAPTER 16
I clung to him and lifted my face from his chest. We were surrounding by a darkness that felt even emptier than the room we'd just left. "Are you doing this?" I asked.
"No."
"Oh."
"Cara, whatever they say…do not be afraid. You've done nothing wrong and they cannot hurt you or keep you here."
I took his hand as the swirling slowed. "I'm not afraid when you're with me."
He squeezed my hand. "Remember what I said. You are free to go whenever you wish."
I was about to toss back a quip about leaving only with him, but he was suddenly ripped from my side. I r
eached out into the darkness, but there was nothing there. "Quin? Where are you?"
"Gone." It was his voice, but it was muffled and came from a distance.
"Gone where?"
"Back where he belongs." The second voice sent my heart leaping into my throat. It sounded so close, but another tentative search with my hands revealed no one nearby.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"An administrator." It was a woman's voice, soothing and gentle.
"Can I see you?"
"I have no form."
"Can I have a light anyway, to see what this place looks like?"
"It looks like nothing, and therefore no light is necessary. A void cannot be illuminated."
"I thought this was a realm, not a void."
"It is a place in between realms."
"I remember Quin saying that too. Where is he?"
"Back in his cell."
I swallowed. He told me not to be scared, but it was so hard without his solid, reassuring presence. I curled my fingers and dug my nails into my palm. The pricks helped remind me that I was still real, that I had a body, and I was alive. As Quin said, they couldn't keep me there.
It was time to see how reasonable these administrators could be. "Do you know why I'm here?" I asked.
"Of course." It was the same voice. I wondered how many others there were and what they sounded like. Were they all women, or did the voice change depending on whom they spoke to? "You wish us to free your lover."
"When you call him my lover, it sounds sordid. What we share is not sordid. It's rare."
"We know that."
"And it's beautiful."
There was no response. I took it as a good sign.
"Anyway, you're not quite right. I do want him freed, yes, but I wish for him to be allowed a life."
"Cara," Quin's voice held a warning, but he still sounded so far away. How could he hear me from his cell? This place—realm—was strange indeed.
"I told you, Quin. I will do everything in my power to have you with me. My voice, my words, are the only power I possess."
I thought I heard him chuckle, but it could have been an echo from some other distant noise. "Not the only power," he said softly.