Maddie gasped and she sat upright. “Oh my God. Oh my God, why?”
“I have no idea.” I shrugged then went on to explain to her that so much of my life was a mystery.
“Garrett, we’re gonna figure this out together. If they won’t tell you the truth, well, I’ll help you. I’m sure my dad has connections. We can look up the old court case, or find the lawyers, or even the judge. Whatever it takes. We’re gonna find out what’s going on.” Maddie slammed her fist into the bed as a sign of her determination, causing her breasts to jiggle. A smile formed on my lips partly because I loved how willing she was to help me and partly because I loved to watch her breasts bounce. She noticed my stare and covered her chest in embarrassment.
I sat up and unfolded her arms revealing her delicious womanly body. Then I lowered her to the bed and made love to her again.
***
Maddie awoke with a start.
“My phone. My phone’s ringing. Don’t you hear my phone ringing?” She jumped out of bed and searched for her phone. At first, I didn’t hear a thing. I thought it was her imagination. Then I heard the faint ring. “Where’s my phone?” she yelled frantically.
“In the living room on the coffee table next to the candy jar.”
Maddie stopped tossing clothes in the air and looked at me.
“How do you know that?”
I pointed to my head and said, “Photographic memory.” She smiled then took off running to the living room.
A few seconds later she returned and said, “It’s for you.” For me? I only gave one person Maddie’s number. I snatched the phone.
“Eden, are you okay?”
Chapter 12: Surreptitious Healer
“It’s not Eden damn it! It’s your mother and it’s two o’clock in the morning. Where the hell are you?”
I sighed in relief that Eden was not in trouble. I looked over at the clock. Sure enough, it was 1:58. I shook the grogginess from my mind and tried to figure out what happened. After the second time we made love it was only 9:30. We must have fallen asleep. I smiled at the thought. I rarely slept that long on any given night. Thoughts of physical trauma and violence often haunted my dreams preventing a night of completely restful sleep. Now that Eden and I had separate bedrooms, I sometimes went to her room during the night and watched her sleep making sure she was safe and at peace while the same security and serenity eluded me.
“Sorry, Holly. We were…watching a movie and I guess we fell asleep.” I swung my feet over the side of the bed and searched the tangled sheets for my boxer shorts.
“Don’t ‘Holly’ me!” she yelled. I slipped on my shorts and sat on the edge of the bed trying to figure out why she would be so upset. “I am your mother and I’ve been worried sick. I was just about to call the police. I woke up Eden to ask her if she knew anything and she said you gave her this girl’s phone number.”
“Mother,” I said trying to remain calm, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You don’t see what the big deal is? It’s…it’s a school night and you’re…way past…curfew.”
“Curfew?” I couldn’t believe she was upset with me for staying out late after the countless times she never came home at all leaving me to care for an infant child. I felt the sudden urge to remind her of this.
“Curfew? I’m surprised you know what that word means. Which of your boyfriends taught it to you?” I immediately regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. It was a hurtful thing to say. But, a part of me felt she deserved it. Where did she get the right to suddenly be concerned about my safety after so many years of neglect and abuse?
I glanced over at Maddie. She wore a look of shock and confusion on her face as she slipped on my shirt to cover her glorious nudity. I felt the need to apologize, not for my mother’s sake, but for Maddie’s. I didn’t want her to think of me as some sort of callous monster.
“I’m sorry, mother.” She didn’t respond. I think I really hurt her this time. “Mother, are you there?”
“You…um…you have an appointment with Richard in the morning. I’ll call the school…and let them know you won’t be in.” She hung up.
I closed the phone and set it on the night stand.
“Wow, Garrett, that was pretty harsh,” Maddie said as she approached me and stroked my hair. I wrapped my legs around her and held her waist. “I think maybe I bring out the worst in you. First, you break a standing date with your sister, now you’re getting into fights with your mother. Maybe I’m not so good for you. I feel like I’m taking you away from your family.” Maddie tilted her head down hiding her beautiful eyes from me.
“Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.” I lifted her chin and kissed her lips. “Eden and I are fine. We’re spending the day together on Sunday. As for my mother…we have…an unusual relationship. I know what I said was cruel.” Shamed by the guilt, I looked down. “Sometimes, I’m not a nice person, Maddie. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just hope that once you get to know me better, you don’t regret –”
She silenced the thought with a kiss.
“I may never know everything that you’ve been through. But I do know that you’re a wonderful person with a delicate and loving soul. I will never regret being with you.”
Early the next morning, I eased myself out of bed, careful not to wake Maddie then padded off to the kitchen. I wanted to surprise her with a nice breakfast. I was a pretty good cook for a teenage boy. I had a lot of practice due to the countless times I had to cook for me and Eden. And in those days, I had a lot less with which to work. I remember having to stretch miniscule amounts of food for weeks. Somehow, I made it work.
Maddie’s kitchen, however, overflowed with food. I finished making the pancakes, ham and cheese omelets, and breakfast potatoes just as she emerged from the bedroom.
“Oh my God it smells good in here,” she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“I made you breakfast.” I kissed the side of her head and handed her a glass of orange juice.
“That’s so sweet, Garrett.” Maddie took a sip of the juice then started arranging some prescription bottles on the counter. She opened one, shook out a couple of pills then swallowed them without even taking another sip of juice. I stared in awe as she repeated this process with bottle after bottle. “Please don’t stare at me. I already feel like enough of a freak.”
“That’s not why I’m staring. I don’t think you’re a freak.”
“You don’t?”
“No, I think you’re incredible. I can’t imagine what your life has been like.”
She smiled, “Really?”
“Yeah. Do you want to tell me what the pills do?”
“Okay,” she said tucking an adorably messy curl behind her ear. “These four, I can take on an empty stomach. But these,” she said pointing to a group she had separated off to the left, “I have to take with food. So, it’s really great that you made breakfast for me. I usually just have a protein shake. Anyway, this one suppresses my immune system so that my body doesn’t reject the heart, these two protect against infection since I have a weakened immune system, these two are for my blood pressure, this one is another anti-rejection medication, these three are kind of like vitamins that just try to build me up since the other medications kinda break me down.” She paused to see if I was still listening.
“So you take nine pills every day?”
“Well, this month. Sometimes my doctor changes things up because something’s not working or he wants to try something new.”
“I can’t believe you do this every day.”
“It’s better than the alternative,” she said staring down at her feet.
I kissed her. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to imagine what my world would be like right now if she had died and I had never met her. I wanted to enjoy her, every part of her. Her touch, her smell, her taste.
“Do we have time to…you know…before school?” I asked lowering
her to the floor.
“Definitely.”
***
I walked Maddie to school then dashed to my appointment with Richard. I entered the waiting room just as Eden stepped out of his office.
“Hey, Bug. Where’s my hug?” I asked cheerfully. She didn’t leap into my arms as usual. Instead, she pouted her lips and stared at me.
“You didn’t come home last night.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve never done that before. I was scared.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you, Eden. I just…I-”
“Did you have sex?”
“What?” My voice resonated so loud and powerfully that Eden jumped back a little. I grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the hallway away from the shocked faces of the other patients in the waiting room. “Eden, where did you get an idea like that?”
“I asked Richard what he thought you were doing last night and that’s what he said.” Eden’s eyes watered as she twisted her beret around in her hands. “Did I do something bad?”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I said hugging her as tears began to fall. “Don’t cry, Bug. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” I forced myself to remain calm and speak in a soothing voice though every part of me wanted to strangle Richard for having such an inappropriate conversation with my little sister. “Do you want to go for lunch when I’m done with my appointment?”
Eden wiped her tears away as she said, “I can’t. I’m going to school. I have a math test this afternoon. But we’re still on for Sunday, right?” She said smiling broadly. “Museum, lunch, and movie, right? Just the two of us, right?”
“Of course.” I kissed her cheek and hugged her just as my mother entered the building.
“You ready to go, Eden?” My mother asked, avoiding eye contact with me.
Eden cocked her head to the side and said, “Aren’t we gonna wait for Gary?”
“Garrett can apparently take care of himself.” She grabbed Eden’s hand, then looked into my eyes and added, “He doesn’t need me.”
My concern over Richard’s conversations with Eden trumped my worry over my mother’s words. By the time I stepped into Richard’s office, my anger had returned stamping out any thoughts of Holly.
“Why the hell are you talking to my sister about sex?” I said slamming the door behind me.
“Good morning, Garrett. It’s 9:23. You’re late.” Richard glanced at his watch pretending I didn’t scare him, but I saw the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I definitely frightened him.
“I asked you a question.” I walked towards him and towered over his round body as he sat in his favorite wooden chair. He jolted out of his seat and made his way to his desk as he wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.
After he had the security of the desk between us he said, “What I discuss with Eden is protected by doctor patient privilege. I think you should just calm down and have a seat before I have to call your social worker. This behavior you’re exhibiting is disturbing and…and I feel you may be a danger to your family. You don’t want to go to another foster home, do you?”
Did he really think I was a danger? How could he possibly believe that after all I’ve done all my life to protect them? No, there was definitely another reason why he felt so threatened by me all of the sudden.
I stared at the large wet circles forming under his armpits. So much heat radiated from his face his glasses had started to fog.
When I didn’t move, he placed his hand over his phone. He was really going to make a phone call that would separate me from Eden. I couldn’t let that happen. I took a deep breath and sat down determined to study this man as closely as he had studied me for the past decade. Something wasn’t right with him. And if it had anything to do with my sister, he would regret the day he ever met me.
Chapter 13: Brewing Storm
The appointment with Richard proved worthless as I spent the entire time studying his actions and facial expressions while providing sarcastic, succinct, or shrouded answers to his probing questions.
He wanted to know whether my disregard for my mother’s rules last night was a sign of things to come. Would I turn into the typical withdrawn and unruly teenager?
“Is that what you would prefer, Richard?” I asked, answering his question with one of my own. “Would that make you more comfortable to know exactly where I fit? To label me with some sort of textbook diagnosis?”
“Why are you always so…,” Richard paused as he searched for the right word. I decided to help him out.
“Caustic, argumentative, obstinate, recalcitrant?”
“I was going to say difficult or defensive, but yes, all those adjectives fit as well.”
I stared into his eyes with a cold glare. I thought about the way he’d acted toward me just minutes ago and said, “I could ask the same question of you.”
He ended the session.
***
As I walked home from Richard’s office I noticed the dull gray sky. It was mid November and we were due for a snowstorm anytime. If Grandma Jean were alive, she’d be able to immediately tell me whether to expect bad weather.
“Storms a comin’,” she’d say. “Feel it in m’ knees.” Sure enough, later that day some sort of storm would pass through. I’d crawl into the rickety old rocking chair with her and wait out the rain, or snow, or hail, from the safety of her lap.
Right now, a storm brewed in my life. I felt the winds of change pressing against the floodgates of torrential emotions. But I felt powerless and blind. There was too much I couldn’t control and even more I didn’t know. Lately, I had just wanted to forget everything and lose myself in my feelings for Maddie, but the run-in with Richard reminded me that I couldn’t. I had a family to protect.
When I got home, my mother’s car was in the driveway, but the house seemed empty. The blinds were drawn and the lights were off. I walked toward the phone to call Maddie when I heard, “You must think I’m the worst mother ever.” My mother sat on the couch with her back to me staring at a blank TV screen. I really didn’t know what to say to such a remark. It wasn’t a question, so I couldn’t respond with a yes or no. Even if it was a question, a simple answer like that wouldn’t have been appropriate.
I knew what she wanted me to say. She wanted me to forgive her for the foster homes, the hospital visits, the hunger pains. Did she want me to say that my life could have been worse and to thank her for not abandoning me completely? I didn’t think I could do that.
“I know I’ve hurt you and disappointed you time and time again, but I am trying. Can’t you see that?”
“Yeah, I –”
“I’ve been sober for two years, Garrett. We’ve moved out of those shady neighborhoods. I married a good guy who takes good care of us. What more do you want from me?”
“Nothing, moth–”
“I’m trying so hard to be strong like your father was, like he taught me to be, but it’s so hard. You have no idea what my life has been like, Garrett.”
“You’re, right, mother. I don’t know what you’ve been through. You’ve never told me.” My mother grew quiet. I thought once again the conversation had ended at a pivotal moment. She would find some excuse not to delve into her mysterious past. But she didn’t.
“My parents were rich, you know? I was rich, but I wasn’t happy. My childhood was…” She paused and rested her head in her hands. I stood perfectly still afraid that if I even breathed I’d somehow make her snap out of her sudden urge to talk. “When I met your father, he was everything I needed. He took care of me. He listened to me. He loved me.” She gestured for me to join her on the couch. “Greg was smart, strong, and noble. I had no idea a man could ever make me feel so special. When I lost him, I spent years trying to find that kind of love again, but I couldn’t. No one could replace your father.” My mother looked into my eyes and added, “You remind me so much of him sometimes that it scares me. Not because I don’t want you to be like him. He’s
a great man. I’d love for you to turn out like him. It scares me because…I don’t want to lose you too.” My mother broke down into tears and I gathered her into my arms.
“You’re not going to lose me, mother.”
“When you didn’t come home last night I didn’t…I thought maybe I’d finally driven you away.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I had no idea my mother cared for me so much. She had always kept me at arm’s length only showing affection on sporadic occasions, hugging and kissing me only when she felt guilty for some dangerous situation she’d thrust upon me. I wished we were closer, but she kept herself so guarded never letting me past her emotional fortress.
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