A Whisper Of Wanting

by Jamie Sobrato

  “I saw you through the window. It’s not like I was inviting in a stranger.”

  “The door, Ethan. You didn’t have your door locked!”

  “I could say I unlocked it when you pulled up, but…I’d be lying,” he admitted sheepishly.

  She closed the offending door and pointed to the knob. “You see this little thing here? It’s called a lock. You turn it, and it keeps bad people out.”

  “Ha ha. I’m not amused.”

  “Do you have a death wish?”

  “No, I was just so sure you’d come back I wanted to make it easy for you to get in, in case I wasn’t able to rush to the door to greet you.”

  She made a show of locking the second dead bolt on the door, then latching the security chain. “You’re lucky I didn’t send you a rent-a-cop.”

  “You’re standing in my living room again—there’s no end to my good fortune.”

  “I’m not going to sleep with you, no matter how charming you think you are.”

  Ethan noticed for the first time that Nicole had a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Which just went to show how distracted he always was by her finer attributes. The full curves of her hips, the delicious weight of her breasts, the sexy mystery of her eyes.

  Those eyes. Those delicious brown eyes that reminded him of velvet, of chocolate confections.

  Those eyes that were looking at him as if he were some bit of crap stuck to the bottom of her shoe right now.

  “That’s cool. I mean, I’m glad you decided to stay, and…I’m sorry for that vulgar thing I said earlier.”

  “Which one?” she asked, and he couldn’t tell if she was dicking him around or serious, or both.

  “Of course we don’t have to sleep together for you to stay here. That’s all I meant. I mean, unless you want to sleep with me, and that would be perfectly nice too, but—” He stopped abruptly, aware too late of his own stupidity.

  “You really have a way with the ladies, don’t you? Who knew you were such a smooth operator?” Her tone, flat and sarcastic, matched her facial expression, and Ethan couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Stick around. I’m sure I’ll continue to impress with my astounding tools of seduction.”

  He got up from the couch and closed the distance between them, curious to see if she’d become any less hostile in close proximity to him. He reached out as if to take her bag, but she didn’t offer it, so instead he said, “I’ll show you where you can put that down in the extra bedroom.”

  Which was really his second office. God knew why he felt like he needed to have two of them—one for work and one for personal stuff—but he did. He suddenly wished he’d bothered to clean up the mess of papers on his desk. And then there was the bathroom.

  Dear God. This being an old house, there was only one bath, and Ethan wasn’t exactly Mr. Clean. He made a mental note to sneak into the bathroom ASAP to give it a thorough scrubbing.

  “How will you work from home if I’m taking up your office space?”

  “No big deal. I have a laptop computer I can work on, and the dining room is my official at-home work space. What about you? Don’t you have to work during the day?”

  “I’ve been put on temporary furlough for the next week or so.”

  The closer they got to each other, the harder it was to think of anything but Nicole. He became hyperaware of her body, of the soft candy scent that emanated from her. He had no idea what perfume she wore that smelled so simultaneously tempting and sweet, but whatever it was, it was his new favorite scent.

  His whole being seemed to focus in on her. He ached in all the usual places, but he ached in some new places too. Indefinable places. As if his body and soul ached for her.

  This was what happened when he had really great sex. His brain got all mucked up by it and he started thinking about souls and true love and stuff. Which was probably why he’d never had a successful relationship of more than a year or two, max.

  That fact worried him. Was he defective? Was he so sex-obsessed he was doomed never to be able to think straight about women for whom he had sexual feelings?

  Ethan led Nicole into the bedroom and began converting the couch out into a bed. “I’ll have to find some linens. Sorry it’s not already set up.”

  “No big deal. I can do all that. What’s important now is that we go over some safety ground rules for the interim until Pulatski is caught, okay?”

  Ethan stopped once he had the bed unfolded and nodded. “Sure. Can I get you something to drink? A beer maybe?”

  He took a step closer to her, curious again to see if it would have any effect.

  “Yeah, that’s great. I—” She stopped.

  He was only a foot away now, and he could feel the pull of their bodies toward each other. He could feel an increased awareness of everything about her. If he wasn’t mistaken, he could even smell the subtle, musky, delicious scent of her, which was impossible. Minutes ago, he could only smell her perfume.

  But now, this close… Could it be? Could he really be smelling that, when he knew for a fact that he’d never catch the scent otherwise unless he was having sex with her?

  His gaze met hers, and he had to have looked like a man in serious need of some action. But he tried to focus on her, on what she might be experiencing. He caught something in her eyes. Longing? Desire? Heat? It sure as hell appeared to be those things to him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  If he wasn’t mistaken, he could see a little film of sweat on her forehead. And he wanted to pull her close and lick it off.

  That would not have gone over well, he was quite sure.

  “Um…yeah. It’s weird. I just feel a little flushed or something.”

  “Let’s get you that beer,” he said. But he couldn’t look away from her. He was riveted to that spot, riveted to her eyes, her presence, her body.

  “Yeah, let’s.” But she didn’t move either.

  Ethan’s dick was fully rigid now, rock-hard and throbbing for Nicole. The scent had done it. Or maybe her proximity, or the images of having sex with her that kept flashing in his head.

  All of it. And him, rock-hard.

  “Do you…um…” How to say it? How to ask a woman who’d just as soon kick him in the balls as kiss him if she felt the same irresistible sexual attraction that he did? “Feel like there’s some kind of…um—”

  “Magnetic pull?” she said. “Like if we get too close we can’t help but, um…”

  “Have sex,” they said simultaneously.

  His cock did a victory dance.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I feel it. I’m not sure I could move away from you right now if I tried.”

  She reached up and wiped the perspiration from her forehead. “Me either.”

  “So…” he said, wanting, as he’d never wanted anything in his life, to pull her to him and kiss her, strip off her clothes and taste her mouth, her neck, her breasts, her belly, her hot, wet pussy. Bury his cock in her and never leave that spot.

  From somewhere below, a little song began to play in a high-pitched tone. Nicole’s cell phone, apparently.

  The disruption knocked her out of her daze. She reached for the phone, and answered it, stepping away from him as she did. Farther and farther away, until she was in the hallway and he was standing bereft of her presence by the fold-out couch.

  “I told you,” he could hear her saying in a put-out tone. “I’ll be at a friend’s house, and no, I’m not going to give you the phone number or address. That would only put you in danger.”

  Ethan willed himself to move. He left the room and went in the opposite direction from Nicole to the kitchen, where he retrieved two bottles of Corona, popped the tops, and carried them to the living room. While he waited for her to finish the call, he took a long deep drink of beer and tried to clear his mind of sexual thoughts.

  Which was sort of like trying to remove the green from a frog. It couldn’t be done. And why the hell did beer make him think of sex too? Probably
because half his romantic encounters had involved it.

  “Yeah,” Nicole was saying from the hallway. “I promise I’ll call the minute there’s any news. Okay, goodbye.”

  She came into the living room, looking annoyed rather than aroused. Damn it.

  “Who was that?”

  “My sister. She’s the family snoop assigned to getting every detail of my life on the run so she can spread the news around to everyone.”

  “I’m sure they’re all just worried about you. You have a big family?”

  “Humongous. Three sisters and countless nieces and nephews. And those are just the family members I’m in contact with regularly.”

  “No kidding—I’ve got three sisters too. Mine are mostly back in London and the suburbs of the city. Can’t say I miss the meddling.”

  Nicole picked up her beer and took a long drink. The sight of it brought his erection back instantly. Beer bottles were so phallic, so sexy when held in the hand of a beautiful woman.

  And he wanted to see her nursing his cock the way she nursed that beer. Over and over until he came in her mouth, or on her breasts, or her belly. Or he’d hold off and come inside her, his favorite spot to end a glorious round of sex.

  By some stroke of luck, he’d forgotten to clear off the second sofa in the room, leaving the space beside him the sole place for her to sit. She took a seat next to him and looked rather uncomfortable, sitting there not knowing what to do with him when they weren’t having sex.

  But she’d inadvertently created that proximity thing again. Or was it inadvertent?

  The magnetic pull was there. In full force, and when she looked over at him, he knew she felt it again too. He knew, praise heaven, she wanted him. And by the look in her eyes, it was in a bad way.

  11

  NICOLE WASN’T SURE she’d ever forgive herself for sitting on the couch next to Ethan. For one thing, she’d known it would make her get that crazy, dizzy, out-of-control feeling again. And for another, she’d known that if she got that close to him, there’d be no resisting the next step, and the next, and the next, until they were down and dirty on the floor, using up her box of condoms.

  And in spite of all her good sense, all her self-control, she’d also known deep down that what she really wanted was to lose control again. To experience that irresistible feeling of all her willpower slipping away, letting herself be pulled toward him.

  Losing control. It was the most seductive urge in the world to her at that moment. And she could not turn away from it.

  Her gaze landed on the photo of the smiling women she’d seen earlier. Grateful for the possible distraction, she pointed at it and said, “Are those your sisters?”

  “Yes, and my mum.”

  “Are you close to them?”

  “Sure. We’re not in touch as much as we used to be now that I’m here in the States, but I try to make it back for the holidays whenever I can. And they all nag me via e-mail about when I’m going to settle down and have a bunch of brats, whenever they get the chance.”

  “Sounds familiar—about the kids I mean.”

  “Yeah? You’re a career girl, must drive your mother batty that you haven’t settled down yet.”

  “You’d think my sisters and their ridiculous number of kids would be enough.”

  “You feel like you’re missing out on anything?”

  “No, not at all,” Nicole said, hoping it sounded more genuine to Ethan than it did to her.

  She really didn’t long for the kind of conventional life most people did. She’d always dreamed of having a life of service, doing something that contributed to the greater good, and she was living out that dream. She liked being able to throw herself into her work completely without feeling any guilt that she was neglecting other parts of her life.

  Because, basically, there were no other parts. Okay, there were her friends, and they were pretty low-maintenance. All she had to do was show up for Friday-night girls’ night and they were happy. But she was beginning to miss not having someone who cared if she ever came home from work or not.

  “Yeah, me either,” Ethan said. “I’m not sure if I even got the settling-down gene.”

  “I hope it’s not something we inherit—otherwise I’m doomed, judging by my family.”

  “My father definitely didn’t have it. He was a first-class scoundrel.”

  “Was he around when you were growing up?”

  “On and off. He fooled around on my mum throughout their whole marriage, always had a mistress or two on the side and wasn’t very good at lying about it. He’d disappear for weeks or months at a time, then show up again like nothing was wrong, until my mum finally got sick of his ass and threw him out for good when I was eleven.”

  “Oh jeez, I’m sorry. That must have been rough on everyone.”

  “Mainly on my mum, I guess. She raised us on her own mostly. By the time I was old enough to know what was going on, I got kind of obsessed with tracking down clues about my dad’s activities.”

  “So those were your earliest journalistic efforts?”

  “Pretty much, except I didn’t write up a story on any of it—I just stored the information away in my head and developed anxiety disorders worrying on my mother’s behalf.”

  Nicole shook her head, thinking of her own absent father and struggling mother. “You and I have more in common than I thought.”

  “Your dad wasn’t around either?”

  “My mom scared him away. She has that effect on men, and I can’t say I blame them for running off. She means well, but she’s kind of a nutcase.”

  “Aren’t we all?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, good point.”

  “I feel like everything I do is a reaction against my father, which is pretty nutty when you come right down to it.”

  “Maybe not, if it helps you figure out how to live your life the right way. Does it?”

  “Maybe. Or else it makes me terrified of ever making any of his mistakes. Committing to someone before I’m ready, that kind of thing.”

  “So you’re one of those commitment-phobes, eh?” Nicole didn’t mean to pry with the question, but it did sound that way. She herself was probably as commitment-phobic as the next person, given her track record.

  “I guess you could call it that. I’d never want to do to anyone what my father did to my mum, and really, he didn’t seem like such an awful guy on the surface. He just found out too late, I guess, that he wasn’t suited for the married with kids thing.”

  “It’s scary, isn’t it? Trying to figure out what you’re supposed to do with yourself, once you’ve got the career thing figured out?”

  Ethan nodded. “Yep. One wrong move and lives are ruined.”

  “Or maybe we’re just too cautious. Too busy trying to control everything. Well, I am anyway.”

  “Ah, yet another way we’re alike. Mutual control freaks.”

  “You? A control freak? Come on.”

  “It’s true. I hide it beneath this impossibly charming exterior purely for the sake of getting laid, but it’s there.”

  Nicole laughed. After the way he’d acted earlier, trying to lay down the ground rules about sleeping together, she could actually believe it. “I prefer to think of myself as a mild Type A personality.”

  “Oh?”

  “It’s probably the reason I ended up a detective. Makes me feel like I have some kind of control over the chaos in the world.”

  “There’s nothing mild about you, darling.”

  “Stop trying to be so suave,” she said, but there wasn’t much force behind it. She had to admit, once she relaxed a little with Ethan, she couldn’t help but be taken in by him. He had the irresistible ability to laugh at himself and the world around him.

  “You think growing up with a single mum made you want to be the woman in charge?” he asked.

  Nicole had never thought about it that way, but maybe there was some truth to it. “I guess I subconsciously wanted to be the opposite of my mothe
r,” she said, then winced. “Ugh, sorry. There’s nothing worse than listening to me sit around trying to psychoanalyze myself.”

  His blue eyes sparked with their usual cool charm, and Nicole felt herself melting again. “I could listen to you read grocery lists in Chinese and find it utterly fascinating.”

  Her responses to him were becoming so tiresomely predictable, she wanted to kick some sense into herself. But then her gaze dropped to his mouth, and she imagined the feel of it on her, the heat of his kiss, and her female parts flushed with heat.

  She took a long drink of beer to steady herself, then set the bottle down on the coffee table. Ethan was watching her so intently, she wondered if he’d developed X-ray vision in the past minute.

  They’d been talking about something only seconds ago, but she suddenly couldn’t remember the topic. So instead of scrambling to come up with something to say, she did what her entire body was aching to do. She leaned over and kissed Ethan.

  The heat that had flooded her breasts and panties spread throughout her body now, and at the contact of his lips on hers, she sighed into his mouth. She felt her pulse quicken, her breath whooshing out of her, a vague dizziness overcoming her brain. She could think of nothing but his physical presence as he pushed her back on the couch and pressed his body on top of hers.

  When she felt his erection against her crotch, she could think of nothing else but having him inside her. Right now. Immediately.

  Such pulsing, aching, wanting. Such an unbelievable intensity. She’d never felt anything like this before Friday night. Never wanted to feel anything else but this.

  She’d lost her freaking mind.

  Somewhere from deep in her consciousness, a little voice of reason screamed, “Stop” and Nicole pushed against Ethan until he got off her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, breathless.

  “What the hell is wrong with us? It’s like we’ve gone insane. I said no sex, and nearly the first thing we do when we sit next to each other is start going at it hot and heavy.”

  Ethan shrugged. “We’re two healthy adults with physical needs. It’s pretty natural. It’s just the way of nature—”

  “I don’t need a biology lesson. We have to stop it.”