by Lotus Rose
“She slipped further into despair, until one day, she could not bear her sorrow any longer. She felt that her husband would never return to her.
“So she sat at a bench in one of the castle’s gardens, and she broke the end of one of the glass slippers to form a sharp jagged edge, and she pressed it to her wrist.
“Moments before she was to press the slipper into her flesh, she heard his voice calling from somewhere within the castle walls, calling, ‘Cinderella, my beloved! Where are you? I’ve returned to you!’”
The Storyteller tightens his mouth and stops talking.
The Cat chuckles. “Well, that sure was a coincidence.”
The Storyteller raises a pointed finger in the air. “Or was it?” He tries to hand a card to the Cat, but since he doesn’t have a body, the Queen of Hearts is handed it.
It reads: Coincidence.
The Queen of Hearts says, “Is that it? She’s still frozen.”
“Yes,” the Storyteller says. “That’s where I ended her tale, with the ambiguous ending. Rather dramatic, don’t you think?”
Jacob and Wilhelm nod and both say something in agreeance.
The Storyteller taps his chin. “Is there a moral, do you think? Let’s discuss it.”
The Queen of Hearts groans and stomps her foot. “I shan’t waste my time in some English class literary analysis tomfoolery! Now, get to unfreezing the girl so she can get the Hatter’s hat, so we can strengthen the world connection and I can get to ruling over both worlds, already!”
The Storyteller, looks a little snubbed, but says, “As you wish.” He steeples his fingers together. “But her story didn’t end there. Oh no, it sure didn’t. Because, just before she slit her wrist, she decided to check one last time, to see if he was really calling her. Cinderella rose up from the bench and rushed into the castle hallway.”
Cinderella suddenly stands up and runs from the garden while yelling, “Prince? Is it really you?”
The Storyteller continues, “It turns out, it really was the Prince. After the glass sorceress’s love spell had worn off, she had held him captive. But finally, after many months, he figured out a way to kill the sorceress and make his escape. He returned to his beloved. And finally, at long last, they were in each other’s arms again.”
The Queen of Hearts holds her hand out toward the Storyteller, who says, “Hmm?”
“Aren’t you going to give me the card…for the unambiguous ending?”
“Pffft… Of course not, there’s nothing special about those.”
“Oh, fine,” the Queen of Hearts says. “Then let’s go talk to Cinderella about infiltrating the Hatter’s fort, shall we?”
They go to one of the hallways where Cinderella and the Prince are embracing and kissing. The Prince is quite handsome, with brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a blue tunic and knee high boots.
The Queen of Hearts taps Cinderella on the shoulder.
The Storyteller quickly fills Cinderella in on the situation, informing her that she must infiltrate the Hatter’s fort to retrieve the special hat that will strengthen the connection with Alice and allow her to call the fairy tale beings to enter Wonderland.
Cinderella seems very eager to help and agrees wholeheartedly.
After a while, they are surprised to see that the slipper has reformed and is good as new, so Cinderella slips it upon her foot.
But the Storyteller is not surprised at all.
“I knew of the slippers’ magical abilities all along,” he says, “which is why I found it intriguing how well suited Cinderella is for the mission. And I don’t believe it’s a coincidence, but rather that it was fated to be.”
He proceeds to explain the slippers’ abilities to Cinderella. In addition to being able to reform after being broken, they have the ability to give the wearer “astounding foot placement abilities,” they also can “resist mercurial offenses to toes.”
When Cinderella presses him for further specific details, he declines, citing the need for suspense. He even hands her a Suspense card in order to back himself up.
Cinderella departs on her mission to infiltrate the Hatter’s fort.
The Storyteller asks the Cat to warn the Mad Hatter, so he’ll be prepared, “for the sake of the story,” the Storyteller explains.
Chapter 6
The Mad Hatter sits on the floor in a corner of his hat workshop, rocking to and fro. The room is large and filled with hundreds of top hats set upon stands. A section of the room is dedicated to his hat-making equipment, and the chemicals used in the process, which permeate the room with noxious, dangerous smells. Many have told him, that it is these chemicals that have driven him mad through their effects upon his mind, but he’s not quite so sure.
Because there is always the possibility they were lying to him, under some ruse to steal his hats.
He’s barely slept the past two days, because he fears a burglar will sneak in while he’s asleep.
The idea terrifies him.
So he set up the traps and trials to thwart any evil hat stealers. The obstacles are not impossible to get through, but are most exceedingly difficult. He’s decided that only the Chosen One would be able to get through what he’s set up. He doesn’t know who the intruder would be chosen by, though. After all, he’s just a hatter. But the Hatter feels that if prophesies and kingdoms can have Chosen Ones, then so can he.
The Hatter hears a creepy whisper in his left ear, saying, “She comes…”
The Mad Hatter lets out a screech and scooches back in terror. There, floating in the air, he sees the floating head of the Cheshire Cat, who is able to teleport from place to place, in a most annoying manner.
“Cat?!” he cries out. “You shan’t take my hats!”
The Cat says, “Ninny. I don’t want your hats, but there is one who comes. A girl.”
“What? Who?”
“She is known as the one whose toes can be fully seen, though she wears shoes. A girl who has known the sweeping of cinders and ash. It is she who comes.”
“Cinderella? Why are you talking like that? All ominous.”
The Cat lets out a groan of frustration. “I was trying to be dramatic. Oh, if only I had one of those cards.”
“Eh? What cards?”
“Never mind. You’ve got to hurry because the Storyteller has sent Cinderella to steal one of your hats, and I think it will be much more entertaining if you’re prepared for her arrival.”
“You’re a bloodthirsty lunatic, Cat.” He thinks about that. “And as a fellow lunatic, I thank you.”
The Hatter hops up with a grim expression upon his face and a sense of purpose, for now he has something to focus on: repelling the intruder.
He goes to the front door and opens it, to gaze upon the obstacle course he’s set up upon his front lawn. In addition to that, immediately in front and to the side of him, lies a semicircular trench set in the ground, an inch lower than the rest of the ground. The mini-trench extends to the sides of the building, so that one cannot walk to the doorway without going through the trench. The semicircle is eight feet wide throughout, a width the Hatter decided could not be easily jumped over.
He stands, waiting, his face firm, assured of his duty, hands behind his back. In the cauldron beside him, boiling mercury bubbles and pops. The cauldron has handles of course, so it can be tilted without burning one’s hands.
Beside him, the floating cat head waits as well, purring in anticipation.
Soon, in the distance he sees a figure approaching, in a blue dress.
In puzzlement, he says, “The assassin approaches wearing formal evening wear?”
“She’s not an assassin. She’s a thief,” the Cat replies.
“Irregardless,” the Hatter says, and sniffs.
“Irregardless is not a proper word. In any case, I think some dramatic words are now in order, if you follow me.”
“And now,” the Hatter proclaims, “Cinderella and I await our formal introduction…of doom.”
“Most excellent,” the Cat says and nods, causing his floating head to dip two inches before rebounding.
The gowned figure approaches ever closer and the Mad Hatter smirks, for he knows that surely this dainty ball-attender’s delight is not the Chosen One for whom he designed The Course.
“Oh, the folly of untethered hubris shall be thwarted this day, Cat, of that you can be sure.”
“What?” says the Cat. “What does that even mean? I believe you’ve been inhaling too many of those peculiar fumes of yours.”
“Just watch,” says the Hatter, “as I mete out the reckoning of my justice like a fine wine fermenting in the caskets of indomitable come-uppance.”
“I’m not even going to pretend that makes sense. But I know I’ll have an exciting show, for she has arrived.”
The Mad Hatter stares at this woman known as Cinderella in her blue dress and white elbow length gloves upon the hands that she is holding against the sides of her hips as she stares him down across the distance.
She is standing just outside the edge of the Hatter’s line in the dirt.
He mocks her arms stance by imitating it. “Oh ho ho! I see you have seen my line drawn in the ground that marks the outer boundaries of my Obstacle Course of Serious Intention!” He leans back and chortles in his mirth.
She points down at the line in front of her glass-shoed feet. “I couldn’t help but notice, since you wrote ‘Herein lies the Obstacle Course of Serious Intention’.” She gives a little mocking parody of his chortle, but cuts it short to smooth out the creases in her extravagant evening-wear dress.
“You have come to steal my hats, you, who are she of the cinders?” the Hatter calls out, now shakes his head, aware he has formed an awkward sentence.
The Hatter has never before this day seen the girl known as Cinderella. He has heard rumors, though, that the Brothers Grimm had brought her to Wonderland and that she is some kind of fairy with a tail. Of course, he can’t tell, because her back is to him, and in any case, she is wearing an evening gown that would hide it.
Cinderella calls out over the distance, “I only want one hat. And what is that cat doing here? I just saw him, from where I came.” She points.
The Cat calls out, “I didn’t want to miss the show. I’m sorry you’re so much slower than me.”
The Mad Hatter calls, “I doubt he’ll meddle. He’s always watching but never raises a paw to do anything. All hiss, no scratch, as it were.”
“I didn’t realize he had a body,” Cinderella says. “It must be hidden away somewhere.”
The Hatter replies, “Yes, somewhere. I’ve rarely seen it, though. In any case, you shan’t have my hats unless you prove yourself. My obstacle course is meticulously designed to test the reflexes and agility of any who challenge it. Few there are, who would be able to survive it, let alone a girl in an evening dress.”
“Shall I take it off then?” She grins.
“No no. Wouldn’t be proper. Best to turn around…”
“Bollocks.”
Quietly, the Cat says to the Hatter, “Oh, I think she’s going to do it. Oh, your course is marvelous. I do believe there’s a good chance she’ll be impaled. How delightful!”
“Are you talking about me?” the girl calls. “In any case, let’s get on with it.”
The Hatter calls out, “Then may fate be with you this day!”
The girl gives a curt nod, and begins appraising the course. The area is filled with an assortment of visible and hidden obstacles.
Cinderella smiles. And now she begins to dance, doing a jig, rising and stomping her feet to the rhythm of music only she can hear.
The Hatter stares at her, puzzled for a moment, cocking his head to the side. But a grin forms on his face and he cackles madly and starts hooting and stomping and clapping to match her rhythm.
The girl twirls, and faces him again. She lifts her skirts prudently, showing her dancing bare feet.
But no, wait…it is hard to tell from the distance, but he believes she wears shoes made of glass.
I wonder what they taste like, he thinks to himself. Probably not like chocolate.
Cinderella steps inside the line and dances, twirling, pumping her legs up and down gracefully. She begins standing atop the end of her toes like a ballerina and spinning like a top.
And thus does she address the challenges.
Gracefully she weaves and spins with her arms above her head through a line of swinging blades, timing her movements perfectly.
“Beautiful!” the Hatter shouts, and twirls as he’d seen her do.
“Not even a knick,” the Cat says in disappointment.
“Thank you kind sir!” Cinderella calls out, just before a device pops up from the ground and fires twelve arrows at once in her direction. They all fly harmlessly above her as she lowers into the full splits on the ground.
“Magnificent!” the Hatter calls. He tries to mimic her full splits. He fails. So he jumps up and clicks his heels together.
“Crikey! Not even one strike?” the Cat says.
Cinderella stands, quickly brushes some dirt off her dress. “Much obliged!” She does several cartwheels to avoid being slammed by a stone bludgeon swinging toward her on a rope. Now she runs and leaps five feet with her legs gracefully apart like a ballerina to avoid a concealed pitfall in the ground.
She has made it through the obstacles. She is ten feet away from mini-moat in the ground.
“Bravo! Bravo!” the Hatter calls as he tips the cauldron of molten metal.
“Encore!” calls the Cat.
And the liquid metal fills the miniature moat.
“Ahah!” says the Hatter. “My moat shall prevent you from going further, my dear ballerina. You cannot dance your way across molten mercury!”
“You are correct,” she says as she walks to the edge of the mini-moat. “So I shall simply walk.” She raises her skirts and daintily walks through the moat. It is shallow, so only her glass slippers are exposed. She expresses no discomfort whatsoever, as she smiles radiantly at her two observers.
“Oh no no. Why is this happening?” the Cat laments.
She steps upon safe ground again, and bows deeply.
“Sublime!” the Hatter exclaims. He returns the bow. He applauds. “The Chosen One.”
Cinderella says, “Okay, I’ll go with that. So since I passed your challenges, will you give me the hat I seek?”
“As lovely as you are. And as divinely as you navigated my obstacles, I must decline. But thank you so much for coming.”
The girl smiles graciously. “Well thank you for having me. Now close your eyes. I’ve a surprise for you.”
“Oh splendid!” He claps. “I do so love surprises! Is it my birthday? Never mind, I’ll pretend it is.” He closes his eyes.
He hears a tinkling crack of glass breaking. His arm is pulled forcefully behind his back and he feels a sharp edge pressed into the side of his neck.
Cinderella says into his ear, “Give me the hat, or I’ll slit your throat.”
“Okay,” the Hatter says, “but when do I get my surprise?”
Chapter 7
It is nighttime again.
The Brothers Grimm and the Storyteller walk into Sleeping Beauty’s bedroom once more.
Cinderella follows them, pushing the Mad Hatter in front of her. His hands are bound behind his back with handcuffs. Cinderella holds a knife to his back. Her shoe, that she’d previously held to his neck, has already reformed and so has been returned to her foot.
The Queen of Hearts looks around and is pleased to see no Cheshire Cat. He often grows distracted or bored and disappears to who-knows-where. Cinderella’s prince is also not in attendance—he’s gone target practicing with his slingshot.
Everyone in the room is standing this time, so that Cinderella can covertly press the knife to his back. She is under instruction to kill him if he tries to warn Alice in any way.
The Storyteller is holding the magical hat, whic
h is separate from the nonmagical hat currently atop the Mad Hatter’s head. The Hatter had been so kind to put a red rose in the magical hat’s ribbon, for decorative effect.
The Storyteller says, “Now, I have been told that Alice cried into this hat for the purpose of a spell the Hatter cast. The spell created a strong connection between Alice and the hat, which the Hatter used to spy on her.”
The Hatter says, “Well, yes, that was rather untoward, but I did that before I gained my red heart, in my defense. I wouldn’t do such a deplorable thing now, since I have gained a conscience.”
“Yes, yes, fiddle-faddle. The point is, this hat is bonded to her and will help strengthen the connection to her, and between our two worlds. It is in this way that we may start to make some…headway in the matter.” He smirks.
The Queen of Hearts groans, but the Hatter starts giggling. “Oh that’s so funny!” He can’t stop giggling.
It makes the Queen of Hearts quite uncomfortable.
He keeps giggling, trying to catch his breath.
“Oh, just kill him already,” the Queen of Hearts snarls.
“No, no no,” the Storyteller says. “We need him alive in order to reassure Alice that we mean her and her world no harm, and only have the best of intentions.” He tilts his head back and winks at the Queen of Hearts.
She winks back, to let him know she’s going to keep the deception up.
They’d tricked the Hatter into believing they were all performing some noble task, which contrasts with the fact that Cinderella is holding a knife to his back, but then again, the bloke is quite mad.
And he’d seemed quite smitten with Cinderella. He’d kept going on about what a “marvelous dancer” she was. And Cinderella had promised him a kiss if he acted pleasantly when they spoke to Alice.
The Storyteller continues, “Now, I have thought upon the matter, and I believe I have figured what to do. I shall place this hat upon my dear, darling girl’s head—”
“It’ll crush the brim!” the Hatter exclaims.