by Lotus Rose
She’s a bit irritated he didn’t hear her confession of love.
She slips another pea through the hole. The princess thrashes and flops.
“Can I ask you to make your bed before you die? You’re mucking it up so much,” Malice mocks.
Malice and the Cat have a laugh at her joke.
The princess tries to scream but now has trouble breathing. “Can’t breathe,” she manages to get out.
The princess’s skin is bright red, and her face is puffy and swollen. She begins banging on the glass, trying to break it. Her wheezes of breath sound raspy and desperate. Her strength fails her. She falls sideways and goes still, her body glows and disappears.
Malice says, “She didn’t make her bed before she left. How slovenly.” In a fit of goofy glee she says, “Hey Cat, look, I’m the princess!” She starts over-acting, pounding on the glass. “Oh woe is me! I hate vegetables!”
The Cat laughs along.
Malice falls to the ground and rolls around, laughing in a supreme giggle fit. But now, what’s this? She feels a pang of remorse. She presses her hand to her chest to feel her heart ticking—all the jostling from pounding on the glass must have started it up again.
“What is it?” the Cat asks.
“My heart’s started back up.”
“A bother, that heart of yours is.”
“Oh god, what have I done?”
“You killed a couple prats who deserved it, that’s what.”
Malice walks up to Humpty and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around, sees the tears on her face, lowers his hands from his ears.
Malice says, “I’m terribly sorry for how I acted. My behavior was atrocious.”
“Well, you weren’t fully responsible. You have a condition.”
“Oh, Humpty!” She reaches out reflexively, holding him tight, and he wraps his arms around her.
“I miss the twins and Hatter so much!” she laments.
“I know dear, I know,” he says softly. He rocks her gently side to side in his embrace.
“My dear Humpty,” she murmurs, her cheek upon his chest.
“Yes, dear Malice?”
“I’m sorry about all those mean things I said when my heart was turned off. I didn’t mean any of it. You’re very special to me, Humpty.”
“And you’re special to me.”
She looks up at him. “Really?”
He tries to reply, but the words get stuck in his throat. He nods shyly.
And Malice finds herself getting lost in his beautiful eyes. She stands upon her tip toes and presses her lips to his.
He is surprised, but returns the kiss.
Malice is lost in a swirl of sensation and emotion, when he pulls away and removes his arms from around her.
“What’s wrong?” she says. She ignores the grinning Cat floating behind him.
He replies, “We shouldn’t have done that. It was inappropriate. I’m two years older than you and—”
“That’s not a big difference.”
“And you were even younger a few weeks ago before messing with the clock.” He’s stammering and blushing.
“You’re right,” she says, feeling embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have done that. I just got caught up in the moment. It was from the emotion of the circumstances. I don’t really think of you that way.”
“You don’t?”
“I mean, I’m fond of you as a close friend. You’re right. Our ages are too far apart, even though in a couple years, we’ll be the same age, won’t we?”
He shakes his head as if to clear it of a thought. “I understand. The stress of the situation. I miss Hatter and the twins as well.”
She nods. “Yes. Let’s forget it ever happened, and go to one of the side squares, alright buddy?”
“Okay, pal.” He playfully soft punches her on the arm and she soft-punches him back.
“I say we give the Hill square a go…”
Chapter 34
So it’s down to me, the Brothers Grimm and that confounded Cat, the Queen of Hearts thinks to herself as she steps through the archway labeled Food.
The surroundings shift. Now they see a long wooden table covered by a checkered tablecloth sitting beneath the shade of a large tree. The setup reminds her of the Mad Hatter’s tea table, though this one is obviously different.
A thin man in brown pants and coat sits on the opposite side of the table. Upon the table are lined several bowls of what look to be bowls of soup.
Behind the table is the doorway to the next square inside the archway labeled: Hair. The left archway with black inside is labeled, Heads, which is the square they just came from. The right archway, also with black inside, is labeled, Thumb.
The man grins at them. “Ah, so you’ve come to solve the square, aye, lads and missus?” He points to the sign in the ground in front of their group.
They read the words engraved on the sign: “Defeat Jack in the eating contest and he shall grant you the key.”
“Right then!” the Queen of Hearts says, “I take it you’re Jack.”
The man nods. “That’s right. Jack Sprat.”
Beside her, the brothers perk up.
Jacob asks him, “And where’s your wife?”
“She passed away,” Jack says. “But I don’t wish to wallow. I challenge you all to an eating contest.” He gives the Cat an overly long, uncertain look, then gestures at the long bench on the side of the table opposite him.
The Queen of Hearts says, “And if we win, you’ll give us the key?”
He points at the overhanging branches above him. “It is there somewhere in the leaves. If I lose, I shall trigger the key to drop—I am bound by the Rules of Story.”
The Queen of Hearts casts a derisive glare at the Brothers Grimm and the Cat. She sneers. “Well, this sorry lot would be unable to force you to bend to their will, so by all means, let’s play your gauche eating game.”
A tight-lipped nod from the man. “Quite. You see upon the table several bowls of soup. I have an hourglass here. It measures five minutes time. In the eating contest, the individual who consumes the most bowls of soup in five minutes shall be the winner. Don’t worry about them being too hot—it is a kind of soup served at room temperature.” He glances at the Cat with a concerned expression. “I say, feline, you don’t seem to have a body, and hence, I assume, no stomach…”
“Oh, don’t be concerned,” the Cat says. “I shan’t participate in your contest. I am merely an observer.”
The man says, “Thank you, my good feline. I shudder to think what would happen to the food after you swallow.” He gives a little shudder.
“Blast that Cat,” the Queen of Hearts mutters.
Jack smiles. “Now, please, have a seat so we may engage in this food sport. No high stakes, merely a gentleman’s, and gentlewoman’s game.”
“And if one of us wins, you’ll give over the key?”
“Of course, plus my congratulations. I love a good, honest sport, and am not too proud to accept defeat graciously.”
The Queen of Hearts and the brothers sit upon the bench (since her dress is so poofy and large, it takes a fair amount of maneuvering).
“All settled?” the man says. He puts his hand to the top of the wooden hourglass (which is actually a minute glass). “Now, as soon as I turn this five-minute glass over, the contest begins. When the sand runs out, you are to stop. Righto?”
“Righto,” everyone but the Cat says.
Something comes to the man’s mind. “Oh, you mentioned my wife. She met a tragic end. We were being punished for a crime and our cruel captors put us in the same cell without food, as a vicious punishment. Long story short, I escaped, but I killed her for food. She’s in the soup, mixed in with the potatoes and whatnot.” He turns the minute glass over. “Begin!”
The man tears into the soup with his spoon with gusto.
The Queen of Hearts watches him with a disgusted expression. She doesn’t even lift her spoon. The brothers are
n’t eating either.
The contest goes on and Jack doesn’t let up the whole time, giving his all.
Over the sound of his slurping, the group attempts to have a conversation about how they have lost this square, and what a shame it is, but the conversation fizzles, and they wait for the five minutes to end.
The sand runs out.
“That’s time!” Jack shouts, “Stop eating!”
They all look at him blankly.
“Does anyone dispute that I won? I ate four and a half bowls! How many did you eat, madame?” he says with a smirk.
She looks at him. “Brothers, kill this boorish man.”
Jack pulls a long knife from a sheath. “Please do attack me lads, I’m eager to cook up some new dishes.”
The Queen of Hearts considers that the Brothers Grimm are not fighters, and are unarmed. She points. “Quick, to that square!”
They run off to the side archway labeled, Thumb.
Jack Sprat doesn’t follow, perhaps because he is so full, the Queen of Hearts thinks.
Chapter 35
Malice and Humpty go through the archway labeled Hill. When the scene shifts, they see a grass-covered hill. The top of the hill features a covered water well, with a crank and a bucket attached to rope.
A boy and a girl, each about 15, dressed in brown and white peasants clothing, stand beside the well.
And of course, behind the hill is the archway with the door inside labeled, Win. She sees the keyhole—if they can get the key, Malice will win the game and become official ruler of Wonderland. The archway to their left is labeled, Peas, the square they just came from. The archway to their right is: Lamp.
“Greetings!” the girl calls down from atop the hill. “If you attain the key you shall win the game, but are you willing to meet the terms? I’m Jill, by the way.”
“And I’m Jack!” the boy yells.
“I’m Malice!”
“Humpty!”
“Cheshire Cat, just call me Cat, though!”
Jill pulls a key out from somewhere amongst her dress and jiggles it. “Do you be wanting this?” she says coyly.
“I rightly do. What are the conditions to meet this square?”
“Sacrifice your boy toy to us,” Jill says.
“I shan’t!” Malice calls defiantly.
Jill shrugs. “Either that or take the key from us.” She and Jack both pull out previously hidden daggers.
Malice looks at Humpty worriedly. “I’m not sure we can take them,” she says.
He says, “I have to be realistic and agree with you.”
“I have to agree,” says the Cat. “Two on two, like that? You’d lose for sure.”
They scowl at him.
“Perhaps we can trick them somehow,” Malice says.
“Or take one of the side squares,” Humpty says.
Jill says, “While you’re pondering whether you can take us, would you like to hear our origin story?”
“Certainly,” Malice says. “We’ve heard everyone else’s, so…”
“I should like the shorter version,” Humpty requests.
“As you wish, cutie,” Jill says. She winks at him. “Okay, once upon a time, we were two ordinary youths, but we wanted to be more popular, so we cast a spell to make ourselves more likeable. The magic is focused on this well—we must keep drinking its water to replenish our power. Oh, and there’s a price for our power too—we are cursed to always remain at the very top of this hill, for if we ever try to come down, we shall inevitably fall and break our necks.”
“Whoa, brutal,” says the Cat, “but I’m not sure I believe you. Why don’t you prove it?” He cackles.
Malice says, “It seems a high price to pay just to get people to like you.”
Jill pulls the bucket to her mouth as Jack gives the bucket some slack on the rope. “Well, I must admit, I downplayed our abilities a smidgen.” She takes some gulps of water, before handing the bucket to Jack.
As Jack guzzles from the bucket, Jill says, “We have a bit more than an ability to make people like us. We have certain powers related to the heart, you see.” She taps her own chest. “Well, my little handsome delicious stud,” she says to Humpty, “you wanted the shorter version, here it is: it’s like I’m a succubus, and Jake here is an incubus. Here, look into my eyes, I’ll show you.”
With a devious expression, Jill meets Humpty’s eyes from the distance. Humpty stares into them, his facial features go blank.
“Hey, what are you doing to him?” the Cat shouts.
And Malice makes the mistake of glancing at Jack, and his eyes lock onto hers and she is unable to look away. She didn’t realize how utterly handsome he is—and she realizes now what people mean when they talk about love at first sight. “I love him,” she murmurs, in awe at the gloriousness of the feeling.
Out of the corner of her eye she registers the Cat’s shocked expression, but she won’t look at him, doesn’t want to tear her eyes away from Jack.
“What are you talking about?” the Cat says.
Jack calls down, “Come to us.”
Jill beckons with her hand. “Yes come, receive your kisses of death, our little darlings.”
The Cat shouts, “What have you done to them?”
Humpty shouts, “I love you with all my heart, Jill!”
Malice feels jealousy surge through her, even as she realizes, she herself is guilty of loving another: Jack.
Jill answers the Cat, “We have merely used our magic charms to win over their hearts, that’s all. They love us completely. They would even die for us. Come to me, my darling.” She beckons at Humpty, who throws his branch aside and starts slowly shuffling up the hill with a lovestruck expression on his face, and he doesn’t move his eyes from Jill’s.
“Heart?” says the Cat.
The sexy, ravishing object of Malice’s love, Jack, calls down, “Come my darling, let me love you to death.”
Malice can think of nothing more alluring at the moment, for she knows that at long last, she has found true love. She throws her branch aside and begins walking toward the love of her life, but she can’t go as fast as she’d like—her limbs move slowly as if she is drugged—but still, she is a girl on a mission, to hold her beloved within her arms on top of that hill, and she’d be willing to die to accomplish that goal!
Suddenly she feels a hard bump against her chest—it feels like the strike of a hard object wrapped in fur, actually.
Malice, however, is hesitant to look what struck her, since she doesn’t want to take her eyes away from the adonis, Jack.
She hears the Cat screaming at a point just below and a couple inches in front of her chin, before another blow to her chest. That one was somewhat painful, but it can’t negate the overwhelming rapture of love she is going to experience upon uniting with her beloved. Jack.
Malice continues stumbling up the hill, Humpty is next to her, shambling as well. Malice can’t imagine what she ever had for Humpty—it was an immature infatuation, nothing more—she didn’t know any better, because she had not yet experienced the greatness of Jack.
She hears the Cat shout, “Break, dammit, break!” She feels a thunk against her chest again, this time much harder than all the rest.
“Ow,” the Cat whimpers.
Malice reflexively reaches to rub at the pain in her chest. She looks down, locates the floating wincing Cat’s head.
She scowls. “What’d you do that for, you stupid furball?” The anger surges through her.
Dizzily, the Cat says, “To turn off your heart.”
Malice presses her hand to her chest to feel that it’s no longer ticking.
Malice stops making eye contact with Jack—suddenly she’s no longer in love with him—in fact, she’s repulsed by him.
She sees Humpty still walking up the hill, making goo goo eyes at Jill.
“No!” Malice shouts. “He’s mine!” She pulls Humpty by the shoulder from behind.
She feels and hears the
sharp slap he gives her that sends her reeling.
From the ground she yells, “Stop, Humpty! I command you!”
With a smirk, Jill calls, “How dare you try to get in the way of our love!”
Malice shouts and lunges, grabbing a hold of Humpty’s ankle and tripping him.
He looks over his shoulder at her. “Malice?”
“You don’t need a girl like her. She’ll kill you.”
He sounds irritated, “Malice, you’re being clingy. I’m in love with her, and I shall be with her!” He begins kicking frantically, jolting her hands loose. He reestablishes goo goo eyes with Jill.
Jack watches the two star-crossed lovers, then sneers at Malice.
Malice lies on the ground, watching. What can she do? He’s stronger than her, so she can’t restrain him. Could she knock him out?
But he is already dangerously close to the top of the hill. She doesn’t want to get too close to those daggers they hold—even though they can’t go below the top of the hill, they could still throw them.
“Fine, be that way!” Malice shouts. “I don’t know what my hearted self ever saw in you anyway!”
Humpty arrives at the top of the hill.
He and Jill kiss passionately for a long time, and Malice watches, irritated. She doesn’t appreciate having her servants taken from her, but what can she do? She’s not willing to risk bodily injury to get him back.
Jack and Jill turn Humpty so that he is facing Malice.
“Now,” says Jill, “we shall consummate our love. What do you think, darling?”
“Yes,” Humpty says with a dazed expression, “you are the love of my life.”
Jack and Jill both nuzzle their mouths against either side of his neck.
Humpty closes his eyes and lifts his jaw and allows them better access. Jack and Jill embrace him, then they each clamp their jaws onto his neck.
Humpty lets out a whimper, before relaxing.
“Blast it! What are you doing to him?!” Malice shouts.
And they drink of his blood as he calmly lets them.
Jack and Jill are still holding the daggers, which they punch repeatedly into his chest and abdomen. They pull themselves off his neck, smile a bloody grin at each other, then throw Humpty’s body down, sending his limp body tumbling down the hill and landing at Malice’s feet, face up.