by Lotus Rose
Malice says, “Yes, well I want to know how he feels about things. Because you never know, maybe you and I can form a partnership.”
Sleepy B squeals and hops in delight.
Malice says, “I said maybe. And I’d like to hear how he feels about everything. So after my encounter with Humpty, I shall talk to the Jabberwock.”
“Wonderful!”
“But speaking of the Jabberwock, have you ever wondered why no one calls him by his real name? I don’t even know it.”
Sleepy B grunts. “I know what you’re hinting at. You want to know about my jabberwockish name.”
“I admit it.”
“Daddy always told me my name was Abigail. I have no idea how I might have gotten a jabberwock name. He never spoke of my past, how he came to adopt me. Maybe I had a jabberwock name that sounded close enough to Abigail that he called me that instead. He won’t talk to me about it. And as to the Jabberwock, I don’t know why we don’t call him by his name. Perhaps it’s because he’s the only jabberwock around here. But I suppose you can ask him when you meet with him.”
“I shall have to do so,” Malice says.
Sleepy B tells where the Jabberwock is located.
Malice says, “Is there anything else?”
“No, just that I look forward to working with you, and goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Chapter 50
In the morning, the Storyteller visits them in the courtyard.
Malice is standing in front of an easel, painting the likeness of Tweedledee holding a rattle.
Tweedledee is looking thoughtfully into the distance, but he has been holding that expression for nearly an hour and is growing impatient.
“I am here to provide you with intel on your next mission.” He’s carrying his little bag.
Malice continues painting, not even turning to look at him. “Sleepy B told me where the Jabberwock is.”
The Storyteller snorts. “Well of course she would. I’ve had about enough of her misbehaviour.”
“Why won’t you tell her about her past?”
“Because it’s irrelevant! I’m her father now! And she is my child. Got that, a child! I’m the Storyteller, and she isn’t. And so now, as the Storyteller, I shall inform you on your next mission, or I shall leave. And quit painting!”
Malice huffs. “You’re such a party kill storyteller. Always threatening to take your ball and go home. Tweedledee, sweety, you can take a short break, love. Thanks.”
“So,” the Storyteller says, “Your next encounter is with Humpty, who was bit at the same time by Jack and Jill who happened to have powers of supernatural attraction. They were like a succubus and incubus, though technically, they weren’t. But in exchange for their powers, they were cursed to never travel below the very top of their hill, or they would inevitably tumble and break their necks. Does that about sum it up?”
“Quite,” Malice says.
“Very well. You’re no doubt familiar with the routine by now. Here’s your purple stake. And here, are Pills of Instant Water Freezing. To activate them, yell out the word, ‘freeze’. And with that, I bid you adieu.”
Malice frowns. “You know, I hate to see father and daughter at such odds. Will you at least talk to her?”
“I bid you adieu, Queen.” And then he does his throw-down-poofy-smoke thing and disappears.
Malice calls Tweedledee back. She is determined to finish this painting.
Chapter 51
The painting of Tweedledee turned out relatively well. Malice is no professional artist, though. She’s sure she’ll improve with practice.
At the moment, she is approaching the hill that the twisted Humpty has taken up residence at.
Humpty used to be a vicious egg-shaped villain, but he was transformed into a sweet 17 year old boy. That was before he had been bitten and killed by the twisted version of Jack and Jill.
She and the Cat approach the hill. It looks similar to the one upon which Jack and Jill stood. A covered water well with a crank is atop it. She assumes there is water in the well and bucket. Is she supposed to freeze it for some reason? Could she possibly throw the pills in the well?
She sees the familiar form of Humpty standing with his side to her—he wears glasses, trousers, button-up shirt. The last she’d seen him, he was being bitten at the same time by Jack and Jill, each on one side of his neck, before his corpse was sent tumbling down the hill.
Malice finds it a bit odd that Humpty is standing sideways like that, staring blankly into space.
Does he not realize we’re here?
“Yoo hoo! Hatter!”
He turns to face them. She sees it now. One side of him is female, the other side male.
And an ominous cloud briefly obscures the sun, causing a brief flash of darkness over them.
Blasted Sleepy B again. She better not make it rain.
And the Cat chuckles as he zooms up to take a closer look. “Why, Humpty, there’s something different about you.”
Malice looks at him (or is it her?) some more. One side of Humpty looks like the female version of him in the face, wearing half a dress, with one breast. The other side is her dear Humpty as she remembered him, his one leg within one trouser leg.
To the Cat, Humpty says, “Yes, I’ve gotten in touch with my feminine side. Why don’t you come closer, and get a good look.” His voice is higher pitched than before—it could pass as either male or female.
Humpty produces a dagger, grins viciously.
The Cat hisses at him, zooms back down next to Malice.
Humpty calls down to her, “I’ve been waiting for you, darling. Come up here so I can give you a hug!”
She makes the mistake of looking in his eyes, and all those feelings come rushing through her. Recently she’d started to like him in a romantic way, but now she realizes,
I love him.
But no, that had been Jack and Jill’s power—to make people instantly fall in love with them in order to lure them to the top of the hill in order to kill them. Malice had only been spared from them killing her by turning her heart off, to make her incapable of love. Should she do that again?
I must kiss him/her. I want to feel his/her arms around me.
She begins to slowly walk up the hill, looking deep into Humpty’s eyes, who says, “Yes, my sweet Queen. Come to me. Let’s consummate our love.”
No, I must fight this. Humpty will kill me. Should I turn off my heart? Use the pills to freeze the water in the well?
Something nags in the back of her brain.
Water…rain…
She cries out, “Make it rain!”
Storm clouds appear, shrouding them in darkness—the rain falls upon them amid lightning and thunder.
But Humpty still holds her gaze, and she can feel her free will slipping—it will be only a few more moments before she is completely under his spell.
With the last act of her free will, she runs up and tosses a handful of pills at Humpty’s feet.
“Freeze!” she shouts.
Jack and Jill had been cursed to remain at the very top of the hill, for if they ever went lower, they would inevitably tumble down and break their necks.
The water at Humpty’s feet forms into ice, and as he looks down in astonishment, his footing gives way. He wobbles on the ice, then falls forward, tumbling head over heels past Malice in an almost comical, overdone way. The slick rain on the grass causes Malice to lose her own footing as she slides feet first down to him.
His eyes are closed and his neck bent backward at an extreme angle. She feels horrible for what she’s done, but of course it’s for his own good, and will soon be fixed.
She slams the stake into his chest, causing him to glow purple. His clothes and body revert to the all-male boy she knew before.
He opens his eyes.
“Oh, my dear Humpty! You’re back.”
He gives her a shy, crooked little smile. “Malice.”
She hugs him tig
ht. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, dear Malice.”
Caught up in the moment, she presses her lips to his and they kiss for several long moments before Humpty pulls away, looking embarrassed.
Suddenly, Malice feels embarrassed as well. “I just got caught up in the moment.”
“Yes, errr…”
“Come, let’s get out of the rain and back to the castle.”
Chapter 52
Malice walks to the Jabberwock’s new area. The Cat doesn’t tag along, because he doesn’t expect there to be any fighting, so he thinks it’ll be boring.
Humpty accompanies her, though.
The Headless Horseman’s body is holding the Jabberwock’s head in one of its hands. The Horseman is dressed identically to how the Knight was, except the Horseman’s cape is real cloth. Oddly, about twenty feet away, is a mansion that appears to be constructed entirely of bones.
The Jabberwock’s head smiles broadly. “Malice! It’s good to see you again. Hello, lad.”
Humpty exclaims, “Jabberwock! It’s me, Humpty!”
“Humpty?! Why, last I saw you, you were more egg-like.”
“Aye. And I was a mean son of a gun. We both were. But we’ve both changed a lot, haven’t we?”
“Yeah,” the Jabberwock says. “I’m borrowing the Horseman’s body until I can find one of my own.”
“Well, best of luck with that, my friend,” Humpty says.
Malice says, “Well, Jabberwock, not sure if you know or not, but I’m the Queen of Wonderland now, so I can appoint you to different duties.”
The brow on the severed head arches. “Yes?”
“Are you currently guarding anything? I was told you had been guarding an archway of some sort?” She sees no archways.
“Well, I was, but once the game ended, they vanished, and I was released from duty. I’ve just been hanging out here, because of lack of anything better to do, frankly.”
“Well there is a little girl named Sleepy B—I mean, Sleeping Beauty. Actually she may have a jabberwock name. In any case, she’s the Storyteller’s daughter. Would you mind being appointed as her guard?”
“Not at all. I’d be delighted to guard a little girl. But you said she may have a jabberwock name? What did you mean?”
“Her original name may have been Ebugor.”
The Jabberwock’s mouth falls open. “That means, clever warrior princess. How did she get that name?”
Malice shrugs. “I’ve been having trouble getting to the bottom of it all. But perhaps she’ll open up more to you. She seems to adore you.”
“Aw, that’s sweet,” he says. “I love little girls.”
“Yes, about that… Wouldn’t most jabberwocks prefer to tear little girls limb from limb rather than to hug them?”
“I still have those feelings, but I’ve learned to set them aside and replace them with loving feelings.”
“Why is that?” she says.
She thinks she spies some nervousness in his expression. “What do you mean?” he says.
“I mean it’s a very strong part of the jabberwock culture. You even sing your children little-girl’s-goodbyes. Why are you different? Don’t you follow your culture?”
“I just am. Besides, no I’m not in my culture. I’m here in Wonderland amongst you humans and creatures. Because I was ostracized.”
“But why—”
“I prefer not to talk about it.”
“Very well. You know, I’ve never learned your real name. I should like to call you by it, to be on a more personal basis.”
He sighs. “I don’t have one. I lost it, due to the customs of my species.”
“But what was it, before?”
“Please! I don’t mean to be rude, but could we please stop talking about this?”
“I apologize. It is I who has been rude. I would like to take you to Sleepy B. Do you need time to prepare?”
“No. I can come as soon as I tell the Horseman’s head. He’s just over in that bone mansion there. He doesn’t mind if I leave, as long as I continue to pay him for renting his body.”
Malice, Humpty, and the Jabberwock’s head being carried by the Horseman’s body approach Sleepy B’s hut in the clearing of the forest.
Malice finds the hut most curious, since it appears to be made of gingerbread.
A naked girl opens the door. It must be the girl named F-me Shoes, who used to be named Goody Two-shoes.
“Well, hello!” F-me Shoes says. “We’ve been expecting you!” Her smile is huge and warm.
Malice looks down to the girl’s feet to see she is wearing stiletto-heeled red pumps, so she is technically not completely naked.
The Jabberwock says, “Hello, F-me Shoes.”
Humpty stammers, “Hello, naked, oh!—I mean, milady, naked. Sorry, I keep saying that. I don’t even notice, really.”
F-me Shoes winks at him, then grins, then says to the group, “Come on in. I was just telling Sleepy B a bedtime story, as usual.”
Sleepy B’s voice calls out, “Yeah guys, come on in!”
They step in.
Sleepy B is lying in a bed on one side of the room.
F-me Shoes says, “This hut used to belong to Hansel and Gretel’s Wicked Witch. She left it behind when she went through the Looking Glass.”
They step to her bedside, and Sleepy B smiles out at them with her fangs and teased blond hair. “I’m so glad you all could come!”
The Jabberwock says, “Are you ill?” referring, with his chin, to the fact she’s in bed in the middle of the day.
“Oh, no no no,” Sleepy B responds. “I just enjoy lying in bed listening to F-me Shoes’ creepy, spooky, perverted bedside stories. I can’t get enough of ’em!”
F-me Shoes rolls her eyes. “Sometimes she doesn’t leave bed all day! But I love telling my twisted tales.”
Malice says, “I’m sure they’re delightful…or wretched, as the case may be. I’d like to appoint the Jabberwock as your guard for a week or two. Then we can discuss whether to go for a longer term arrangement.”
“Oh!” Sleepy B and F-me Shoes squeal simultaneously.
“I’m so happy!” Sleepy B shouts. “Oh, Mister Jabberwock, I’ve heard so many of your stories and I’m a big big fan! I even got fangs just so I could be like you! See?!” She bares them and points.
“Impressive,” he says.
“And I just think you’re so great and majestic, and so, so worthy of respect. And I want to help you get a body and regain your vorpal blade.”
He chuckles at her enthusiasm. “Ah, my dear, if only it were that easy. I don’t know how to get a jabberwock body back and I’d have to travel back to my home in Jabberwock Valley to regain my blade.”
“Well I’ll help any way I can. I’d go to Jabberwock Valley with you, even. I have abilities, storytelling abilities, so I could help!”
He chuckles nervously. “Not sure I’d be worth the effort.”
Sleepy B exclaims, “Are you kidding me? You absolutely are! And that’s what I say, as the Storyteller’s daughter! I say it would also make a glorious story, worthy of being told, and I’d like to participate!”
“Gosh,” he says, at a loss for words.
F-me Shoes says jokingly, “You’re scaring him.”
Sleepy B says, “Oh, sorry! I’m such a fangirl. I get creepy overexcited sometimes. I’ll lay off. Don’t want to creep you out. But…since you’re my new guard…I just want to hug you. Can I?”
“Okay,” he says.
Sleepy B squeals and flings the blankets to the floor. She is wearing her purple nightgown, but no shoes, of course.
She leaps off the bed and tackle-hugs the Jabberwock. Since he’s taller, she’s hugging his abdomen. He gently embraces her in return and lifts his head in his hand to kiss her on the top of her head.
“Aww, how sweet,” Malice says. “Well, I shall let you get settled, and take my leave. If you need anything, let me know.”
Cha
pter 53
Malice is in the arts and crafts room, making macaroni art with Humpty, when one of the guard cards enters.
“Your Majesty, the Knight is here to see you. He says it is a matter of utmost importance.”
Malice arches a brow. “Oh? I thought he was afraid of me. But of course I’ll speak to him. Send him on up.”
“Your Majesty, he wishes to speak to you privately.”
Malice exchanges a glance with Humpty. She shrugs. “Very well. Send him to the throne room. I shall meet him there.”
When she enters the room, he’s already there. He kneels and bows his head as she seats herself in the throne.
“You may rise. What do you wish to speak to me about?”
“Your Highness, I have come to request your help in a bit of an unfortunate situation.”
Malice narrows her eyes. “What unfortunate situation?”
“Your Highness, I request that it remains just between the two of us. You see, it is somewhat embarrassing.”
Malice sighs. “If I am the only one you’ll tell, does that mean I’m solely expected to help you solve your whatever problem?”
“I’m afraid so. I hate to impose, but you’re the only one who can defeat him.”
“Who? For goodness sake! Out with it, man!”
“You promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Blimey, yes! Just tell me!”
The Knight lets out a breath and rubs his brow. “I created a clay golem doppleganger that I put half my soul into, and he tried to kill me in order to take my place. But I escaped and cast a containment spell. He’s at my cottage right now.”
In a chastising voice, Malice says, “Knight! What were you thinking? This is even worse than your barmy inventions.”
“I know, I know. But it was a perfectly rational decision at the time. I didn’t know it would go off the rails like this, and it was a way of getting rid of my crippling fear.”
“Your fear of little girls?”
“That’s right.”
“I don’t understand.”
He explains, “In order to animate the golem, I had to fill him with half my soul. But I took the opportunity to fill him with all of my little girl phobia in order to rid myself of it.”