by Pat Simmons
“You look pretty.”
“Thanks.” She blushed and wiped her hands on her pants, then reached for Jonathan. Zachary stood and shifted the boy in his arms and handed him over to his mother as Ashanti stirred, rubbing her eyes.
“Come on, baby girl, let Mommy get you in the bed before I go to work.”
“She’s really excited about going to school. We’ve been practicing her colors and numbers.”
Halcyon chuckled. “Yes, she can hardly wait for pre-school.”
He got a whiff of her perfume: alluring, intoxicating and dangerous around the wrong men—knowing all men. She didn’t need any more heartache. What Halcyon needed was him. She just didn’t know it yet. “Well, be careful driving and tell those guys to keep their hands and eyes off you.”
Giggling, she headed toward the stairs. “Yes, big brother or should I say, daddy?”
To him there was nothing to laugh about. Zachary welcomed the idea of being a daddy someday, but he wouldn’t be hers.
Chapter 3
“Whoa.” Zachary closed his eyes and opened them again. It was like a tsunami meets hurricane face off in his brother’s kitchen. “What happened in here, sis? Has Michael gotten behind on his chores?” Zachary teased as Michael trailed behind him.
From the front door to the kitchen entrance, their custom-built four bedroom house was a showcase. Not a diaper in sight, but once Zachary crossed the imaginary line from the hall into the state-of-the-art kitchen, the madness slapped him with the granite countertop covered with pots, pans, serving dishes, paper products and other items that were unidentifiable.
Desi turned away from the sink and giggled, then offered him a one arm hug while holding MJ in the other. “Stop it. Mickey is good to me. We got a late start because the baby had a rough night. I think he’s teething.”
“Babe, he’s only three months,” Michael offered as if he had become a pediatrician in training.
Zachary pivoted and gave his brother an amused smirk. “Really?”
He shrugged and pushed Zachary out the way to retrieve MJ. “Hey, little man,” he cooed to his son. “I’m just going by what the baby book says,” he added without taking his eyes off MJ.
“Right.” Zachary glanced from Michael to Desi. “Okay, where do you want me to start?”
Since family gatherings were part of the Holland makeup, the long Memorial Day weekend gave them a reason to be together and Zachary had volunteered to barbecue. The holiday also meant booming sales at the Bishop brothers’ electronic franchises.
“The grill is ready to go. Halcyon, I mean the Holland women”—she said in a singsong voice, then cleared her throat— “and crumb snatchers will be here soon. They can pitch in then.” Desi’s eyes seemed to dance with mischief before she winked, then excused herself.
Giving Michael a suspicious glare, Zachary twisted his lips. “I don’t even want to know what all you’ve spilled during your pillow talks, but I’m warning you to stay out of my way.” He reached for the apron off the hook labeled “His” and grabbed the pan of ribs off the counter and headed outside.
From his post at the grill, Zachary heard the doorbell echo throughout the house. Next, excited chatter grew louder until a chorus of shrieks announced their arrival in Desi and Michael’s kitchen. That’s when the fussing began. It was comical.
Tracey ordered her sons to go outside and play. “Take Ashanti with you and don’t let her get hurt on the swings.
“Yes, ma’am,” the boys said in unison.
The swings that MJ wouldn’t be ready to use for a couple of years by himself. This brother had gone crazy when he learned that Desi was pregnant: toys, books, trust fund—his nephew would lack nothing. The set was actually a customized play gym with a slide, monkey bars, and a playhouse installed days after they moved into their new house.
“Mom and I will get this kitchen in shape while Granny Rose gets her Mostaccioli together,” Tracey said.
“You got that right and you know I need a clean place to cook.” Soon pots and pans took the punishment of Granny Rose’s displeasure.
Zachary smiled as the back door busted open, Tracey’s sons raced out.
“Hi, Uncle Zach.” Ashanti waved as she was about to run toward him.
“Stay back,” he ordered them until he closed the lid on the pit, then squatted. “I don’t want you to get burned. Whenever there’s smoke, it means something is hot, remember?”
Ashanti nodded and then jumped down the deck’s few steps into the yard to keep up with her cousins. Standing, Zachary turned around and Halcyon graced the doorway. He gave an appreciative glance. She and Ashanti wore matching denim outfits, even Jonathan had on denim overalls and a baseball cap. “Hey, Bridget.”
He liked calling her by her middle name. It seemed to be softer and fit her personality versus Halcyon, similar to her father, Harold’s name which they named her when they found out she wasn’t a boy.
“Hi, Zach.” Halcyon was about to brush a kiss on his cheek when he thwarted that and her lips landed on his. She seemed unaffected.
“Nice shade of lipstick,” he complimented, trying to tame his emotions when he wanted to pull her closer and not let go.
She blushed. “Thanks for noticing.”
“I notice everything about you—everything.” Zachary didn’t blink.
“Ah, okay.” She did blink. “Let me get Jonathan situated with Momma, I’ll grab Desi’s apron, and be right back to help you.”
“His and her chefs. Sounds like a plan.”
Minutes later, smoke spewed from the grill when Zachary lifted the lid, almost gagging him, while Halcyon’s perfume tickled his nose when she joined him. Once they got into a comfortable routine, Halcyon stood nearby with a platter ready to dip the cooked barbecue into Desi’s special sauce. “So how’s the job going?” Zachary casually asked.
Halcyon shrugged. “All right. It provides health care for my babies. That’s all that matters.”
“No, that’s not all that should matter,” he softened his tone. “I want to see you happy again, excited about life, not just going through the motions of living. You could’ve come to me for employment. You still can and you know it.” He tried to keep the edge out of his voice. Stubborn woman.
Halcyon shrugged. “I’ve applied at other places, this one came through first. It’s only temporary. It’s not about me. It’s about Ashanti’s and Jonathan’s needs.”
“Not once have I ever seen your babies do without. You’re on top of your game. You make motherhood look easy.”
“You really think so?” Frowning, Halcyon seemed skeptical as she stared at him as if he were speaking in another language. She sighed, then turned and took the overflowing platter of barbecue in the house. She returned moments later with an empty one and picked up the conversation, “Sometimes, I feel like a failure—not finishing school when I was so close, not having a father in my children’s lives and…”
“And what?” he prompted, stabbing the ribs a few times to check for tenderness. “You know you can talk to me about anything, and it will never go outside of you and me.” Replacing the lid over the ribs, he nudged her to take a seat, then he did the same. “Talk to me.”
Refusing to look at him, she glanced in the direction of the children. “I can’t blame anybody for my situation. Every day, I try to move on mentally, but it’s a never-ending cycle of dealing with so much guilt from bad decisions. I just don’t want Ashanti and Jonathan to suffer for my mistakes.”
Behind the pretty face and alluring smile, Halcyon was still hurting. Zachary could tell that she was trying to hold her tears at bay. “Listen to me,” he waited for her to give him her undivided attention. He had to tread lightly with the Word when it came to Halcyon, or she would shut down. “Your name was right up there on that cross with everybody else’s where Jesus hung for hours as His blood washed away each of our sins. Don’t take the guilt off the cross. Bridget, as long as I’m here and your family, we’ve got your back
in prayer and whatever else you need. Okay?”
Bowing her head, Halcyon sniffed. He couldn’t stand to see her cry. Zachary used his thumb to guide her chin upward until she met his eyes. “Whatever you need, ask.”
“I know… I know, but I feel like such a failure asking for help,” she whispered. “It’s like a tiny voice keeps reminding me this is what I get for making my bed—literally.” She twisted her lips.
“Well, I guarantee you that voice is not God’s,” Zachary paused, thinking about one of Granny Rose’s sayings. “God wants to prove the devil wrong when it comes to you. The Lord is your biggest cheerleader.”
“I guess.” Halcyon twisted her lips and looked doubtful.
Jesus, help her not to doubt You. Zachary had heard a while back that before Halcyon met Scott, she had walked with God. It wasn’t strong because as soon as Scott came into the picture, Granny Rose said it seemed like Halcyon dropped everything to follow his stuck-up self—her words, not his. The guilt Halcyon grappled with was self-imposed.
“Hey, sweetie; it smells good out here,” Mrs. Holland said, stepping out on the deck with Jonathan on her hip, ending their soul-searching moment. “We’re ready to eat… red-skin potato salad, Mother’s pasta, coleslaw… you know, so you and Halcyon come on in.” She looked in the yard. “Justin and Jeffery, get Ashanti and come wash up to eat.”
“Okay, Grandma,” the older one yelled and started their way.
Justin mimicked his older brother and argued with Ashanti, trying to get her to relinquish the swing. The girl was about to protest until her cousin mentioned hot dogs. Zachary exchanged a glance with Halcyon. They both chuckled. Hot dogs were Ashanti’s weakness.
Two canopy-shaded tables on the deck were covered with dishes of food. The antics of the children and baby dominated the conversation. When the talk turned to what was the latest on everyone’s jobs, Halcyon remained silent. Reaching under the table, Zachary squeezed her hand, then rubbed his thumb against her soft skin. From his peripheral vision he noticed her slight nod before she exhaled. She had had a great positon with a good company before they went under.
“Auntie Desi, can I play on the swing?” Ashanti pointed.
“Again?” Halcyon groaned.
“Of course.” Desi beamed. As the only niece in the family, it was safe to say, Ashanti was spoiled, but Halcyon kept her grounded.
It was a group effort to restore the kitchen to its pre-cooking, spotless condition. Granny Rose retreated to the living room to watch her series of game shows. Letting the ladies have possession of the deck, Michael led Zachary to a landscaped corner of the yard that had two loungers under a young tree that would provide shade, maybe in a decade.
Zachary stretched out and patted his stomach. Michael searched for the app on his iPhone to listen to the St. Louis Cardinals baseball game. Once it found it, Michael turned up the volume. With MJ asleep in his arms, he laid back and placed his son on his chest. Zachary envied his younger brother’s happiness. He wanted the same thing with Halcyon.
“I’m a happy man,” Michael finally said with one arm folded behind his head, the other one securely around the baby. “I am truly blessed with a beautiful wife, a nice house and a handsome son. I am rich.” He became silent, then frowned. “Yet, the Bible says, I could gain the whole world, and still lose my soul.”
“Mmm-hmm, Matthew 16:26.” Zachary knew that popular Scripture. “You’re thinking about what you almost didn’t have, including your sanctified soul because of that affair, aren’t you?”
Michael nodded. “Yep. I was gambling with a debt that I couldn’t pay, but Jesus paid it for me by stirring up my wife’s love for me again. I could have lost her, man, because of something stupid.” Closing his eyes, he mumbled, “Hallelujah.”
The baseball game provided a backdrop as they retreated into their own thoughts. Zachary spied Halcyon, then as second nature, looked for the children. The women seemed to be engaged in a lively discussion, judging from the spurts of laughter.
Suddenly, Halcyon stood with her hands on her hips and yelled, “Ashanti, Jeffery, stop Jonathan from putting grass in his mouth. You’re supposed to be watching him.” When she made a motion to go after her son, Zachary got to his feet as if summonsed.
“I got him.” He trekked over to the toddler and scooped him up in his arms. “Hey, Jay.” He had decided on that nickname as he was about to hug the fellow until he got a whiff of the baby’s scent. “Whew.” He held the child back at arm’s length and yelled, “Bridget, I need a diaper ASAP!”
Laughing at his discomfort, she was about to head his way to relieve him, but Zachary had something to prove: that he was a man willing to risk nausea to change foul diapers. “No, I’ll do it. You relax.” He headed toward the house holding Jonathan away from him as if he were contaminated. “Where’s the diaper bag?”
Halcyon snickered as she retook her seat, then waved for Ashanti. “Show Uncle Zach where the baby bag is in the living room.”
Ashanti jumped from her beloved swing and skipped toward the deck. Zachary followed her into the house. Once he was equipped with wipes, powder and a clean Pampers, Ashanti trailed him to the bathroom. He smirked at his little shadow.
“You don’t think I can change a diaper?”
Standing on her tippy toes to supervise, Ashanti spilled the beans. “Mommy says I have to go when a man changes my baby brother’s diaper to make sure nobody doesn’t hurt him.” Ashanti’s innocent eyes held his. “But you won’t hurt him, will you?”
Zachary’s heart sank at the request. “Never, because I love my little prince and you, my princess.” Her request gave him two more reasons why he didn’t want different men hanging around the children. Thanks to sin, this was the world they lived in until Jesus raptured the church and left unrepentant sinners to fend for themselves. He doubted his “niece” would know what sexual assault looked like, and he planned to protect her against that
Seemingly satisfied with his answer, Ashanti backed down and gave him a little more space as he unfastened the tape.
“Your Mommy is real smart,” he stated, performing his duties.
“Mmm-hmm.” Ashanti never took her eyes off what his hands were doing until after he discarded the soiled diaper, and washed his hands.
“I can carry him, Uncle Zach.” She reached for the squirming child who did not want to be carried. Jonathan was almost fifteen months. He would have to ask Halcyon when potty training starts. On second thought, he could ask Michael, the walking baby Wikipedia.
Chapter 4
“Mommy, Uncle Zach didn’t hurt my baby brother,” Ashanti tattled as Jonathan squirmed out of her loose grip, then made a beeline to the game of kickball as fast as his little legs could take him.
“Thanks, sweetie.” Halcyon had explained to her daughter to be a secret observer, not babble that she was working undercover. Still, she smiled.
Halcyon was the sole occupant on the deck after her nephews begged Tracey and her mother to play with them. Desi had opted for Zachary’s vacated seat under the make-believe shade tree to be near her husband and son. Halcyon was still in awe of how much they loved each other despite Michael’s indiscretions.
Zachary grabbed a seat and scooted closer to her. Instead of reclining, he sat up and faced her. “You did right to have Ashanti supervise me while I changed Jonathan.” He paused. “But you do know I’ve changed his dirty diapers before, not too many messy ones, though.” He scrunched his nose until Halcyon giggled.
She didn’t owe him or anyone an explanation for her actions. Those were her children and she would protect them at all costs, which was why she walked away from Scott to recover some of her self-respect. “Thanks, because I won’t apologize for doing whatever I have to do to protect them.”
“And I won’t let you apologize.” Zachary reached for her hand, then linked his fingers through hers. It was a comforting gesture that always calmed her when Zachary knew she was upset about something. “I’ll add an Am
en to that.”
But today his touch sent a tingling sensation that began to crawl up her arm. Maybe it was all in her mind, playing tricks with her after her mother and sisters praised Zachary for everything he did for the family when he didn’t have to.
“That’s my brother-in-law,” Halcyon had joked to her sister.
“Nope.” Desi had shaken her head and gave her a deadpan stare. “He’s my brother-in-law. To you, he’s an eligible bachelor—very eligible—and I think he has a crush on you,” she said in a teasing tone.
“I wouldn’t mind having another Bishop man as a son-in-law,” her mother added to the pot with a sparkle of mischief in her eyes. “Zach’s not too young for Tracey or too old for Halcyon. He can take his pick. Plus, he likes children…”
Tracey had quickly refuted, “Leave me out of it.”
Halcyon hadn’t said a word and did her best to ignore their comments, but now with Zachary so close to her, she was aware of his sexiness. Talk about the power of suggestion. She blinked to dismiss those thoughts.
She was comfortable with the relationship she and Zachary enjoyed. He was like the brother she never had. He was sweet, charming and a practicing Christian, careful in his words and actions. And Halcyon was the opposite. She was always determined to have her way, which Granny Rose reminded her could get her into trouble and of course, it did.
As her mind wandered, Zachary hadn’t said a word. She turned her head and stared into his face. He was truly, undeniably handsome in his navy blue and white striped polo shirt and tan shorts that showcased that he was not only built at the top, but he had muscles in his legs, as well. Strong, fierce, yet gentle. “Why aren’t you married?” She was curious.
“Because the woman I want hasn’t said yes.” Zachary didn’t blink.
So there was someone. Halcyon didn’t know if she was supposed to be happy that he found someone to love or jealous that a lucky woman was getting a jewel while she had chosen a jerk. She swallowed under his intense stare that seemed to soften. “Have you asked her?”