Twinkle Twinkle Little Lie

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Twinkle Twinkle Little Lie Page 10

by Geraldine Fonteroy


  ‘He wouldn’t. But he knocked up another woman, so whether he wants a divorce or not, that’s what he’s going to get. And the legal fight should deal nicely with most of the assets anyway.’

  ‘Unless Hettie takes him back.’

  He drew a sharp breath. ‘After all this, the wifey is going to take him back?’

  ‘Probably. Unless I tell her about the pregnant girlfriend, and I’m worried telling her that might tip her over the edge – right on top of a mainline train.’

  ‘You don’t strike me as the type to worry about people’s feelings, hot stuff.’

  Julia snorted. ‘I know. I am going soft, aren’t I? But it will devastate her. Of course, if he moves back in, it will devastate me.’

  ‘Because you didn’t win the case?’ Steve asked.

  ‘Um, er, yes. Exactly.’

  ‘Never met a lawyer who was so invested in her clients. Intriguing.’

  You don’t know the half of it. ‘So, any ideas?’

  ‘How about this? You offer that Hettie gets the house and the copper mine and she walks away. Problem solved. I can go up there and lay down the law, so to speak. Tell Shazza and Kevin that the copper mine will be lost anyway, if they go ahead with legal action.’

  Julia felt momentarily elated, until she remembered that Steve Smith was a shellsuit-wearing perve. ‘You think they will sign that?’ she asked dubiously. ‘It would be ludicrous, given the value of the mine. And they do have a lawyer.’

  ‘Who is it?’

  ‘Same firm that is representing me in my divorce.’

  ‘And here I was thinkin’ there were millions of lawyers out there, and the same firm comes by twice.’

  ‘Ha-di-ha. It is a total fluke. I don’t suppose you could find out how Kevin is paying for them? It’s not cheap.’

  ‘Loan against the end result, perhaps?’

  ‘They don’t do no-win, no-fee.’

  I Googled to make sure.

  ‘Not for the person without the cash. Maybe it’s a different rule if you have the money.’ They might even be doing it pro bono.’

  How nice to know. ‘I suppose you’d better give me an estimate of costs,’ Julia told him, conscious that this latest development could end up relegating her to one of those people who shopped at budget supermarkets with coupons.

  ‘On the house, hot stuff.’

  ‘What?’ That was unexpected.

  ‘I’ve got some paid-for digging to do for another client. Wouldn’t be fair to charge twice for a couple of extra search requests, would it?’

  Julia had no idea, but she was grateful for his help. Even if she couldn’t get the thought of him sitting in some hovel with his hand in his trousers, ogling Big Boobies or some equally vile publication, out of her mind.

  ‘That’s very kind of you.’

  ‘Actually, there is one thing I want in return.’

  ‘I’m not sleeping with you, Steve.’

  ‘A drink. Tomorrow night. I’m going out of town for a few days after that, but a quick drink would be the perfect payment.’

  Why did everyone want to get together on exactly the same date? She supposed she could meet him at The Gore earlier than Lia. ‘Seven p.m., but no groping or ogling my breasts.’

  ‘Not even a sly glance?’

  Julia actually laughed. It felt good, which is when she realised it had been a long time since she’d actually had a good giggle.

  ‘Maybe just one, if you can get Kevin to sign.’

  ‘It’s a deal.’

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CONNIE MARCHED IN AS Julia was getting ready and was treated to a full frontal of Julia’s latest embellishments.

  ‘Do you mind? I’m a little busy; big night tomorrow. I need to plan what to wear.’

  ‘For Steve?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. For David Henry-Jones.’

  Julia saw Connie flinch at the name. ‘What is it? Spit it out.’

  ‘I want half of what you get from Mr Rover.’

  ‘WHAT!’ Julia surveyed the maid, who was wearing a determined expression. ‘Have you gone mad?’

  ‘If Hettie divorce doesn’t work, I get nothing. I want something, for my silence about pretending to be lawyer.’

  Julia played the bluff. ‘Tell on me, then. The rate things are going, it won’t make any difference to Hettie. Losers take deception in their stride.’

  Slyly, Connie held up a sheet of paper. ‘There’s more.’

  ‘What is that?’

  ‘The account numbers. And bank addresses. And balances.’

  Julia really didn’t have time for playground antics. An emergency trip to Selfridges might be required if she couldn’t find the perfect outfit – one that said pure on the exterior, slut beneath. ‘What bloody accounts, you stupid woman?’

  ‘Mr Rover’s accounts. That show where he has hidden all his money.’

  Oh Christ. Julia’s heart began thumping. ‘Really?’ The word was a whisper. She made to reach for it but Connie snatched it away.

  ‘Half.’

  Quickly calculating the implications of showing the court where Rover had hidden his huge fortune, Julia realised that half of what she got with the aid of the details Connie was holding was still a hell of a lot more than she would ever get without them. Besides, as before, the maid had to get her to actually honour the deal.

  Mind reading, Connie added: ‘And if you don’t pay me, I will tell the police about Hettie.’

  Okay, she might be able to get me to pay. It was still a no-brainer. ‘Fine, it’s a deal.’

  Connie passed over the list.

  And Julia felt so light headed she thought she might actually pass out.

  This was it. She’d won.

  Rover couldn’t top this. Inner City LLP could go over to New York and wrap things up immediately. It was over.

  Now, if Steve could achieve a miracle and get that boozing bozo Kevin Brown to sign on the dotted line, life would be perfect.

  When she called David, and shock, horror, he was out, the grey-haired receptionist put Julia through to Suzanne Knight.

  ‘I think we finally have Rover.’ Julia filled the young lawyer in on the accounts from Connie.

  ‘Can you confirm the details are accurate?’

  ‘No,’ Julia said. ‘But my maid got them from documents Rover left about the house.’

  ‘Are you sure she didn’t steal them? They aren’t much use to us if she did.’

  ‘No. She says they were amongst the washing. Look, shouldn’t I discuss this with David?’

  The girl sounded shifty. ‘No, sorry. He’s really busy, but I’ll show him as soon as I can.’

  ‘Make sure you do. It’s of vital importance to my case. Now you can go to New York and deal with that toad of a ex-husband of mine.’

  A less than subtle clearing of a throat. ‘Actually, if we do go to New York, and I agree, if the accounts are genuine, sooner is better than later, we’ll need another payment on account.’

  ‘More money, already?’ If it wasn’t for those accounts, Julia might have had a cardiac arrest at the news.

  ‘You can’t expect me to fly across the Atlantic economy, can you?’

  Julia didn’t expect anyone to fly economy. Except, of course, people who smelled. They didn’t deserve to be in business or first. ‘How much?’

  ‘Another ten thousand pounds, I’m afraid.’

  ‘What?’ It couldn’t be that much.

  ‘Mr Henry-Jones did warn you of the cost of these divorce cases, didn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, but–‘

  ‘So if you’d like us not to go ahead . . .’

  Shit. ‘No. Go. With those accounts you should be able to put the matter to bed.’

  Whilst I stay here and put David to bed.

  ‘Hopefully. So when can we expect the money?’

  ‘When do you need it?’

  ‘Immediately.’

  Julia hung up without any parting niceties and raced for the door, dia
lling Hettie’s number as she did so. She had no idea how she was going to convince Harrow-at-life’s-end to fork out even more cash, but it was worth a try. After all that had happened, it was criminal to give up now.

  It was criminal, full stop.

  Leaping into her Mercedes, Julia roared out of her driveway, after impatiently swearing at the slow moving automatic gate, and put her foot down. In the rear vision mirror, she spied the brawny builders making rude gestures.

  If it wasn’t a crime to murder the useless and ugly, she’d mow them down in her car in an instant.

  Steve called just as she was rounding the corner of Hettie’s nasty narrow road. ‘Boy, do you owe me that drink, hot stuff.’

  Not possible.

  ‘You got him to sign? Already?’

  ‘Sort of. He’ll give up the house and the copper mine for fifty grand.’

  ‘Really?’ Julia almost crashed into an absurdly parked trailer truck with the railway’s logo emblazoned on it. ‘But how?’

  ‘He says he hasn’t even seen the business, and couldn’t care less about it. Just wants some cash out of the house.’

  In her wildest dreams, Julia hadn’t expected Kevin to cave. Negotiate yes, but to just give the mine away . . .

  ‘I don’t get it?’

  Steve chortled. ‘He’s a baboon, hot stuff. Probably doesn’t even know what a mine is. Didn’t you say that Hettie showed nil interest until you told her it was worth somethin’?’

  ‘I just can’t imagine someone signing away that much money.’

  ‘If you’d witnessed the pigsty those two are living it, it might become clear. I swear it smelt of dead bodies.’

  ‘And how, exactly, do you know what those smell like?’ Julia joked, as she reversed the Mercedes into a precariously small space, far too close to a huge container lorry.

  ‘I see plenty in my line of work.’

  Christ. ‘More information than required. So, what now?’

  ‘Send his lawyer the signed offer and a cheque, and he will sign it.’

  ‘Steve Smith, it kills me to say this, but you are bloody amazing. This day is turning out to be the best I’ve had in ages.’

  ‘I could come over to yours tonight and top it off with the ultimate orgasm.’

  Typical of him to ruin a nice moment. ‘A drink is all you’re getting from me,’ Julia replied, hanging up.

  And even though she stepped in dog’s faeces on the way up Hettie’s path, there was still a smile on her face when she rang the bell.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  TWO SECONDS LATER, THE Dalmatian was in ecstasy, efficiently mauling Julia before Hettie could open the front door and drag the rabid dog off.

  ‘I could have it put down for that, you know,’ Julia told her sternly, smoothing down the crisp Karen Millen skirt, which now had paw prints on it.

  Hettie’s puffy eyes immediately welled up.

  Not again!

  ‘Forget the crying, Hettie, you know I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m hear to tell you we’ve made significant progress. Kevin might agree to you getting the mine and the house for a payment of fifty thousand pounds.’

  ‘That seems rather a lot.’ The eye bags almost jiggled as Hettie waggled her head about in consternation.

  ‘Not compared with what you’re getting. And you did say you had some money in the bank?’

  ‘Yes. But . . .’

  God, the woman could blab for Britain.

  Cutting her off, Julia pressed on. ‘Bottom line, I think we can make Kevin pay up, but I’ll need money to draft the settlement.’ The more Julia thought about it, the more she wanted to give that Steve a huge kiss on his semi-balding forehead. She felt much better about have a proper reason to take money from Hettie, and given the agreement about the mine, there was no question the poor sad sod would be out of pocket.

  Worst case, Julia could pay her back out of her own settlement with Rover.

  ‘More money, already?’

  ‘Not the fifty grand yet. Just the legal fees for now.’

  ‘Can’t you just get him to sign? One more letter?’

  Julia shrugged. ‘Kevin is quite canny, isn’t he? I might need to employ a barrister. But if you don’t want to go ahead . . .’

  ‘No, no. Go ahead. I want all I can get. Connie told me the girl was pregnant.’

  ‘Did she?’ That was handy. And against every rule Julia had set the stupid maid.

  ‘Yes. He never wanted kids with me and I lost my chance. No way will I let him take our money to pay for this Sharon’s child. Do I have to pay him anything at all?’

  It was the first time Julia had seen any degree of pluck in the woman. It suited her.

  ‘There’s time to discuss that. Why don’t we to the bank now, to move things along? A banker’s draft would be ideal.’

  Looking for the fake Prada, Connie had a revelation. ‘I’d better check my balance first. There’s an ATM down the road.’

  Nodding, Julia braced herself against the onslaught from Rover the dog, but this time, the animal was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘I think you scared him, with all that talk of the police,’ Hettie said.

  I bloody hope so, Julia thought, leading Hettie up the messy path towards the cracked pavement.

  The local ATM was out of order, so they had to go back to the car and drive around until they found one. And then they got caught in horrible peak hour traffic and Hettie had to pee.

  ‘There’s a McDonald’s. Stop, please.’

  Swinging the Mercedes into the parking lot, Julia unlocked the doors. ‘Be quick, the banks close soon.’

  ‘Do you want a burger or something?’

  ‘I thought you said you needed the loo?’

  ‘Oh, I always get something when I use the toilet. They are running a business, you know.’

  Julia called out that they only had fifteen minutes to get the banker’s draft, but the frumpish woman was already scurrying towards the fast food restaurant.

  Up until then, the day had been turning out so well. Trust bloody Hettie to muck it up!

  She rang Lia to find her friend drunk at home.

  ‘Is everything alright?’

  ‘Bloody Hugo hasn’t come home. Rover convinced him to stay for a while.’

  ‘Rover is a total prick. You should never have let Hugo go.’

  ‘Well, he is due back at the office on tomorrow, so he’d better make sure he gets a flight before then. The other partners don’t appreciate slackers. Hugo himself has told me that enough times.’

  There was silence as Lia glugged wine. She burped, then asked if Rover had let on about David Henry-Jones yet.

  ‘No. Hugo must have not thought it worthwhile to mention. All quiet, as far as that goes.’

  Suddenly, Hettie was back with a Quarter Pounder Meal and Julia quickly rang off in case Lia squawked out something that was not for Hettie’s ears.

  ‘All done, then?’

  Hettie nodded, mouth wrapped around the burger. Glaring at her, because she was stinking out the Mercedes with a smell that Julia knew would linger, the pretend lawyer pointed the car in the direction of the local branch of Hettie’s bank.

  Connie sat waiting for something to happen, but so far, neither Mrs Palmie or Mr Rover had played their cards.

  It wouldn’t be long now, the maid told herself, idly flicking through the channels on the satellite TV. Soon, Connie would be rich, and she send money home for her mother to buy a luxury house. The fifty thousand pounds would soon be sitting prettily in her bank account. Then it would be on its way to Indonesia, where it would be invested in something that earned high interest. Property, probably. Her brother Petie would know what to do with it.

  The card was unceremoniously spat out. Rejected. Hettie took the mini-statement from the machine and upon reading it, went a weird shade of pale pink. Julia shook her. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

  ‘There’s no money left. I’m in the red.’

  ‘What do you mean?
Did Kevin clear out the account? I told you to change the authority on the account.’

  ‘I did. I mean that we’ve spent all the money. There’s none left.’

  What!

  No!

  ‘But you said you had plenty.’

  ‘It seemed like a lot, on the statement. And I spend so little each week . . .’

  Julia couldn’t, wouldn’t, take it in. She’d said she had years’ worth of cash. Plus, Hettie had been so willing to spend up big on lawyer’s fees that she assumed there was plenty in the kitty.

  What the hell was Julia going to do now? David might have thought Julia was good for the cash, and authorised Suzanne Knight to go ahead. The young lawyer was probably on that bloody plane to New York as they stood there, no doubt sipping champagne and tossing back fois gras sandwiches that everyone assumed Julia was going to pay for.

  Calm down. Breath.

  As long as those accounts belonged to Rover, everything would be alright.

  Calm down. The money is coming. Just believe it.

  But in the meantime, Hettie, and therefore Julia, were broke.

  It wasn’t good.

  It wasn’t good at all.

  ‘I’m skint,’ Hettie said, stating the obvious. Her face now paler than it was a minute ago. ‘You need to help me.’

  ‘Calm down,’ Julia replied, although she knew exactly how the woman felt. ‘All we have to do is wait for an agreement on our settlements.’

  ‘Don’t you mean settlement?’

  ‘Yes, yes, of course.’

  ‘But you said Kevin wanted fifty grand?’

  ‘You can raise than on the copper mine.’

  Hettie’s round face looked baffled. ‘Really? That much?’

  Christ. No wonder people were always bagging comprehensive schools. The woman couldn’t do basic math.

  ‘Hettie, just take some deep breaths. We will sort this. But we need to find out where that copper mine is, and fast.’

  ‘There is that business card, remember, I mentioned it–‘

  ‘Yes, yes,’ Julia snapped. ‘Let’s just get you home, shall we, and see if I can’t help you find it?’

 

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