by Jo Davis
“You’re so wrong.” But the words held little or no conviction without the power of anger to fuel them. He’d hit her inner struggle dead center, and she had no clue how to rally.
“You’re lying. Tell me how long you stood there, watching.”
Much too long. “I’d just arrived.”
“Right. Baby, we have to get this settled before we go undercover, or else the tension will endanger our mission.”
She stared at him. “That’s all this is about? Our assignment?”
“Of course not. It’s about us and the fact that I gave up too soon.” He shook his head. “This isn’t the ideal place to talk things over. Let’s wait until we get to your house.”
“You’re the one who brought it up — and besides, I’m not sure there’s anything of ‘us’ left to discuss.”
A black brow rose. “You blew that theory the second I woke up to find you at my bedside, and reinforced it when you refused to allow another agent to work undercover with me.”
Wasn’t much she could say to refute him, so she gave him that round. And she noticed that except to pay for their Chinese take-out, he didn’t let go of her hand the entire half-hour drive to her house.
Beautiful son of a bitch.
From the start of the meeting in Michael’s office and on every point since, Blaze had expected more resistance from Emma. More fight. Not that she hadn’t put up some, but he’d seen the woman at her glorious, raging best, and he didn’t know what to make of her now. This softer, more thoughtful Emma was new to him.
And, he had to admit, very welcome. She’d never be a pushover — and he definitely didn’t want her to be — but he could tell she was wrestling with her moral compass. Questioning her choices, past and present. The old Emma had marched down the straight and narrow path, looking neither left nor right, and had missed a ton of fantastic scenery on her trek.
The new Emma was beginning to wonder what she’d overlooked along the way.
Could it be that he hadn’t totally ruined things between them? He’d give anything to salvage what they’d had, build on their fledgling love, make it stronger than before. Able to withstand the tests to come. And there would be plenty of those.
He turned into her driveway and couldn’t help but smile at the flowers next to the house and lining the sidewalk. Their colorful heads bobbed in precise little rows, like soldiers ready to do battle. He envisioned Emma as their general, whipping them into perfect formation, making certain their tiny uniforms were matching, spit and polished.
“What the heck are you smiling about now?”
“Just admiring your flowers,” he said innocently, which earned him a narrow-eyed look of suspicion.
“What’s wrong with my flowers?”
“Nothing! Can’t a man compliment a lady on her garden?” Killing the engine, he grabbed the file they needed and opened his door.
“Well, sure, if you’d said it like you meant it. Never mind.” She rolled her eyes and got out of the car with the take-out bag, shutting the door behind her.
He fell into step with her, gesturing to the flower beds as they stepped onto her front porch. “Have you ever thought about throwing out some wildflower seeds? By this time next year they’d be gorgeous, spreading all over the pl—”
“I knew it! We’re not even inside yet and you’re already planning how to improve my life, just like you always do!” Fishing her keys from her purse, she stabbed the correct one into the lock and let them inside.
“That’s not fair,” he called after her, glancing around her tidy living room. Tidy, hell. The garden outside was a great indicator of the interior — everything in its place and so clean a man could eat off the floor. Nothing had changed. This might be a tougher job than you thought, Blaze old boy. “I’m only talking about flowers, for Christ’s sake.”
“Sure, sure. Today it’s my blossoms, tomorrow my boobs. You’ll want me to get enhanced or something. In that, if nothing else, you are entirely predictable, Blaze Kelly.” She plunked her purse, the food, and the keys onto the table and faced him, hands on her lush hips.
“You’ve got me all wrong, sweetness.” His gaze traveled upward, over the curve at her waist to the full breasts pushing at her blouse. And on to her striking face composed of a high forehead and model cheekbones, set off by huge blue eyes. Completing the picture was the short, soft blond hair sticking out in tufts and framing that wonderful face with a wispy fringe. A style that might look way butch on anyone else, but on Emma simply complemented her strong, fine features. Very feminine.
“I don’t think so.”
He stalked closer, invading her space. “I happen to cherish every single thing about you, including your breasts. Always have. So what if I like my garden to grow a little… wild?”
She stood her ground. “Nothing, except you want to change me. Fix me as though I’m broken when nothing could be further from the truth.”
“No. I want to broaden your experiences, put you in touch with a sensuality you never knew you possessed. That’s different.”
“I’m not sensual?” she challenged.
“I didn’t say you weren’t. On the contrary, we’re good together, always have been. And you have all this untapped passion bubbling under that beautiful surface, so potent that it makes me crazy wanting to be the one to unleash it. Give me the chance, Emma. You won’t be sorry.”
And yeah, he was close to begging. Because he wasn’t bullshit-ting her in the least. She was his idea of the ultimate woman: smart, confident, alluring.
Mine.
“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I? I mean with our assignment looming and all.”
Her words deflated him some, but he pushed down his disappointment and gave her a cocky grin all the same. “I’ll take that for a start because you know there’s always a choice. When Michael presented you with another option, you chose not to let another female agent work with me, even knowing what the job entails.” Or perhaps because she knew what it entailed, but he wisely refrained from saying so. He preferred his balls to remain in their current location.
He was standing so close to her that he felt her heat radiating right through his clothing to his skin. The warmth drew him in and he reached for her, smoothed a finger along her jaw, traced her lips. Her eyes darkened; whether in lust or in wariness, he couldn’t tell. But she didn’t move away, and he took that as a positive sign.
“I don’t understand why you did it,” she whispered. “Was I so easy to forget?”
He didn’t have to ask what she meant — her quiet pain spoke volumes, wrenched his heart. He took her face in his hands, brushed at a tear that escaped to roll down one creamy cheek, cursing himself all over again. Was there any possible answer that wouldn’t land him in deeper hot water? “No, sweetheart. I was in agony over losing you, and I took refuge in what I know best — being a Dom. Exerting control. It’s what makes sense to me — it’s who I am.”
“Sounds like a line of bull.”
He shook his head. “No. It’s my lifestyle.”
“So you’ve said.”
“I’d never use sex as punishment, or to make anyone else feel bad, especially you. How do I explain?” He sighed. “Sex is natural, baby. There’s nothing shameful about two or more consenting adults taking pleasure in each other’s bodies. I’m not sorry you saw what you did… I’m only sorry about the circumstances surrounding it. Given the chance, I’d bring you into every scene as my sub. My partner, and not because of some damned job. You’d never be on the outside again.”
Her eyes widened, her expression so vulnerable it shook him to his toes. “What if… what if I’d come inside that night? Joined the three of you instead of running away.”
He could’ve shouted in joy, and barely restrained himself from doing so. This was exactly the path he’d hoped she’d eventually wander. Gently, he brushed a kiss across her lips. “You would’ve been welcomed with open arms,” he said quietly. “I would’ve taken great pride i
n introducing you as mine, in showing you a world steeped in passion and mutual pleasure. A world in which jealousy has no part, and sharing is perfectly acceptable.”
“So it’s one big free-for-all where you get to do whatever you want. Sounds nice for the Doms, not so much for the subs.”
And therein lay her fear. His heart lightened because this was a big sticking point of hers, one he could answer honestly to her satisfaction. “Not at all. The D/s community, at least the one I’m involved in, runs by a set of strict rules, set in place for everyone’s safety. Number one, a Dom’s sole responsibility is to see to the happiness and well-being of his sub, above his own desires. The rest flows from that rule.”
While she wasn’t yet convinced, she was becoming interested. “So your role is to make me happy first, then yourself.”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Then what if I’m never able to go as far as the… sharing thing? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to participate in something like what I witnessed. Outside our undercover job, I mean.”
“Part of my role is to push you past your boundaries, help you discover what works for you and us. If sharing truly makes you unhappy, we don’t participate whether we’re undercover or not,” he said seriously. “You are my priority, Emma.”
“I believe you mean that now, but I know you’d miss the freedom of being with whoever you wanted.”
“Believe it. If I’ve learned one valuable lesson, it’s that sharing — hell, my whole life — is empty without you at my side. I need you, baby. Please give me another chance.” He ended the statement in a hoarse whisper rather than the strong, manly tone he’d been going for. Fuck, he sounded like such a sap. This woman could have anyone, so what did she need with his shit?
She reached around his neck, pulling his head down so his lips were almost touching hers. “Just when I think you’re so macho everything bounces right off — even the damned bullets, for cryin’ out loud — you go and get all mushy on me. Do you have a clue what that does to me?”
“I might need a demonstration.”
Oh, God, please show me. I’ve missed you so much I can’t breathe.
Whether she heard his unspoken plea he couldn’t say, but she took his hand and led him down the hall to her bedroom. Turned and placed her palms on his chest, their warmth branding him through his T-shirt.
“Make love to me, Blaze. I’ve missed you so much.”
She’d plucked the words right out of his heart. One day he’d get through to her that making love took on many forms. For now, he let the words soothe his lonely soul, shine a bit of light into the dark corners.
“Anything for you.”
She tugged at the bottom of his shirt and pulled the material up, over his head. He helped her, smiling as she tossed it aside and went for the button on his jeans. She unzipped his fly and parted the material, pushing at the denim and his boxers until his erection sprang free. As she knelt he doubted she realized the submissive position she’d assumed. No, the move was too automatic on her part. Spontaneous.
That knowledge thrilled him almost as much as her tongue flicking out to capture the tiny bead weeping from the slit of the spongy head. He groaned as she took him in her mouth, surrounding him with wet heat. Threading his fingers through her hair, he fed her his cock, guiding the length down her throat, watched it disappear between her plump lips.
“God, yes,” he breathed. “I’ve missed this. Missed your mouth on me. I could fuck you like this all day.”
Well, not really. The pure pleasure was too electric, zinging little shocks of delight to his balls, through his belly. He wouldn’t last long this way, but he wasn’t ready to give up the feeling just yet. With her on her knees, sucking him and taking his less-than-gentle thrusts with obvious enthusiasm, he had no trouble believing he was right about her untapped sensuality.
He was going to love being her teacher.
“Stop, darlin’. I don’t want to come yet.” She pulled off his cock with a moan of frustration, and he smiled. “Don’t worry, we’re not done by a long shot. Undress for me, baby.”
He held out a hand for her and helped her stand. She bit her lip, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable, hesitant. Did she realize her lessons were beginning? That even now he was easing her into what he hoped would be a mutually satisfying sexual lifestyle? Her expression cleared, became more confident, as she held his gaze and slowly peeled off her blouse, dropping it. Next went her bra, and he feasted his eyes on her full breasts, the rosy nipples pouty, begging for his teeth.
She kicked aside her shoes. Unzipping her casual black pants, she pushed them past her hips and down, taking the lacy scrap of panties with them. She stood naked before him, skin pale and creamy, the triangle of curls at the apex of her thighs declaring her a natural blonde. Her tummy was flat, her legs athletic, long and toned. She took care of her body, and it showed.
She reached for him, but he shook his head, and her hand stilled. “Not yet, sweetheart. You’ll do as I say, do you understand?”
“I never said I wanted to play your game.” But her pupils dilated and she licked her lips, arousal shining like a beacon.
“This is no game, Emma,” he said, keeping his voice low. Hypnotic. “This is me, doing things right with you, doing right by you, as I should’ve done the first time. Do you understand?”
“I–I’m not sure.”
“You will, eventually.” He gestured to her big comfy bed. “I want you up there, on your back, knees bent and feet flat.” He was pleased by the spark of defiance in her blue eyes, but even more pleased that she did as he directed, arranging herself on the bed. “Now spread your knees wide so I can see all of you.”
Her cheeks colored, but she again did as he said. Her thighs parted, revealing her pink pussy, the folds shaved bare and glistening with moisture. More evidence that she was turned on by his taking control and was eager for more. He toed off his shoes and pushed his jeans and boxers the rest of the way off, then sat on the bed near her feet.
“Good girl. Look how pretty you are, already wet for me. Now I want you to touch yourself.”
“Wh-what?”
He injected a bit of firmness into his tone. “You heard me. Finger that sweet little clit of yours, baby. Let me see you get excited.”
For a second he thought she might argue, but instead her fingers slid down her belly and through the triangle of curls above the bare area. The pad of one finger touched the small nub and began to work it in slow rhythmic circles.
“Good baby. You’re so beautiful,” he praised, glad he could still speak. His erection strained, demanding he take her. But not yet. “Now lower. Spread that sweet cream all over your slit, and then finger-fuck yourself.”
No hesitation this time. She was getting into their play, preparing herself for him. Her thighs were spread and relaxed, tension gone, her posture completely open to him. Her slender fingers began to massage her slit, dipping into her pussy, fucking herself as her hips arched off the bed. The sight was so naughty, so provocative, that he nearly came like a thirteen-year-old.
“Ooh… Blaze, please!”
“Sir.”
“What?” Her voice cracked, fingers working furiously.
“You’ll call me sir when we’re making love, whether privately, or at a club, in front of others. Now tell me what you need.” She’d call him Master eventually, but he doubted that news would go over well at this point. Small steps.
“No,” she said hoarsely, shaking her head.
“Yes. Or we stop right now.”
The demand was a gamble. She stared at him in indecision, panting. Finally, she relented, expression vulnerable.
“Blaze—sir—fuck me! Please!”
This was a big milestone, the very one they’d faltered at before. One that had started them down the road to the big breakup. He could have shouted in triumph, but refrained.
“That’s my girl. I know that wasn’t easy for you. Hold on, sweetheart, and I’ll ta
ke care of you.” Shifting, he reached for the drawer in the nightstand where she kept her supply of condoms. As he grabbed one from the box he wondered whether she’d had anyone here to need them in their months apart, then brutally quashed the thought. He couldn’t afford to be a hypocrite.
Quickly, he tore open the package and sheathed himself. Moving between her thighs, he positioned his cock at her opening, cupped her bottom and lifted her, and sank into her slick channel.
“Oh! Oh, God, yes,” she cried. “Been too long. Fuck me.”
He started with slow thrusts, angling deep. Watched his rod impale her pussy again and again, until a warning tingle began at the base of his spine and his balls tightened. Wouldn’t be long.
Lowering her bottom, he covered her body with his and gathered her to his chest, wanting this closeness when they came together. The sense of completeness. He fucked her hard and fast, their breaths mingling. Drove them higher.
“Ah, fuck!” he yelled, every muscle locking down as he pumped his load inside her. She clung to his shoulders, riding out the wave, milking his cock. Bathing him with heat.
When the last of their spasms subsided, he collapsed over her, sweaty and panting. And more satisfied than he’d been in months. Maybe ever. “Does this mean you’re giving me another chance?”
She smoothed a finger over his jaw, her expression so tender he could’ve wept. “It means we’re taking things one day at a time. sir,” she added softly.
Oh, God. Did she have any clue what that did to him? He kissed her thoroughly before coming up for air. “Works for me.”
“Now feed me, tough guy. We have a file to study.”
It wasn’t the commitment he’d hoped for, but it was a start. Probably more than he deserved.
But he’d put his foot in the crack of that door and shove it wide open. Come hell or high water.
Four
“You prepared for the grilling we’re gonna get from Michael?” Blaze glanced at Emma as he drove them back to the compound. The hour was early, still dark, and few cars were on the road.