by L. S. O'Dea
“Why are you eating alone?”
She looked at her plate and shrugged.
He sat on the log next to her but not too close. “Travis is over there.” He nodded toward a group of Producers.
“Yeah, I know.”
“He’s your friend.”
She shrugged again.
“Grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“You think it’s easy being different from everyone. You have no idea—”
“You’re right.” This was better. Here was a spark of the old Trinity. The girl he’d fallen in love with when he’d never wanted to care for anyone again. “You shouldn’t try to fit in with the others. They’ll never accept you as one of their own.”
“Did you come over here just to be cruel? If you did, you should be proud of yourself because you succeeded.” She stood. “But I don’t—”
“You’re not running away this time.” He grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down next to him.
“You can’t make me stay.” She yanked on her hand but he tightened his grip.
“You’re going to listen to me for once.” He hadn’t wanted to talk to her. His emotions were too raw but now that he’d started neither of them were leaving until he said what he needed to say. He ran his thumb across the skin on the back of her hand. “I’m going to tell you one more time why you don’t fit in with the others.”
“Don’t bother.” She tried to pull her hand away again, but he refused to let go. He’d never let go. Her claws were peeking out of her fingertips. Her temper was rising. “I know why. It’s been obvious all my life.”
“You need to listen to me.” He grasped her chin with his other hand and made her look at him. “For once, shut your mouth and really listen to what I’m saying.” She glared at him and he could barely keep the smile from his face. If he weren’t careful, he’d have a few new cuts on his hand. “You’ll never fit in with the others because you’re extraordinary.”
Her eyes widened and her hand lost some of the tension.
“You are unique and not only because you’re mixed, but because of who you are on the inside. You stand apart from the others with your intelligence, kindness, ferocity, loyalty...should I go on?”
Her eyes were bright with unshed tears.
“I’ll take that as a yes. The others don’t accept you because you’re different and you pretend that you’re not. It doesn’t work that way. You need to be yourself even if that means standing apart from the others. Do that and they’ll flock to you like Birdie flocks to food.”
She laughed, showing her teeth.
“You are exquisite.” He looked back down at her hand in his. If he continued staring at her face, he’d kiss her and he wasn’t ready for that. It was too soon. He ran his thumb across her smooth skin one more time, let go of her hand and stood. He glanced at her before he strode away. Her eyes were confused. Good. He’d given her something to think about.
CHAPTER 45: HUGH
HUGH SAT OUTSIDE his tent watching the others. It was a good group and some of them wouldn’t make it back. He wished there was some other way, but if he didn’t take the war to the city it’d come to them. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to attack before the Almightys were ready. If he waited, the Protective Services would show up in the forest at full force and fully armed, like they had years ago when they’d annihilated the Trackers and Handlers. The AC wouldn’t survive an attack like that.
According to messages from Townsend through Birdie and other Avions, there were more supporters of the Genetic Ascendency, as it was now being called, than opponents. The leaking of his reports had swayed a lot of minds. Almightys were educated almost to a fault and one thing they all believed in was science.
His eyes wandered to Trinity’s tent. He hadn’t spoken to her since that dinner several nights ago when he’d found her eating alone. He needed to talk to her, but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize even though he owed her that. He was no innocent and he hadn’t expected her to be. Although the thought of marrying her and being her first and only partner made him want to puff out his chest and strut around camp. Still, he’d known she had feelings for Jethro when he’d kissed her. He’d just hoped that her feelings for him were stronger.
Trinity stepped out of her tent. She had her quiver on her back. She glanced around and headed into the woods. This had to stop. He followed her. He hadn’t gone far when she stepped out from behind a tree.
“Hugh, what are you doing?” She seemed genuinely surprised.
They were so close that he could smell the clean scent of the wind and wild on her. He swallowed and took a step back, grasping onto his anger. “Why are you out here alone, again? Didn’t you learn your lesson the last time you took off on your own?” Or did she enjoy it. He shoved that thought aside.
“Don’t.” She started walking. “I’m going to harvest some cakaonuts. We need food and there’s a small grove around here.”
He almost sighed in relief. Trinity angry with him was better. He understood that. He was used to that. He followed her. “Fine, but you shouldn’t be alone.”
“There’s no one around but us.”
He stopped himself from grabbing her shoulder. He couldn’t risk touching her. “A lot of us are lonely males. Just because someone is with us doesn’t make you safe.”
“I can take care of myself.” She shot him a glare over her shoulder. “I did it before.”
“Not everyone will give you a chance to dip your claws in a sedative.”
“I won’t need that chance if I’m alone. I’m better alone.” Her voice cracked on the words.
He fought the urge to pull her into his arms. “That’s not true.” He had to do something to piss her off because he wasn’t strong enough to handle a hurting Trinity. “You only think you can take care of yourself.”
“Please. I handled myself in the alley when we were freeing the Guards.” She pulled a bag out of her backpack and bent, gather cakaonuts. “And those Servants knew how to fight.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off her butt. Frankly, he didn’t even try. It was taking all his control not to reach out and touch her. She stood and turned around. He raised his eyes to her face. She didn’t even notice where he’d been looking. For someone so aware of the dangers in the forest, she was completely unaware of the dangers in males.
“Since you’re here you might as well gather some too.” She handed him a bag.
“This isn’t the end of our discussion.” But it would give him something to focus on besides her.
“We were having a discussion? It seemed more like a lecture to me.” She put the bag between her teeth and climbed the tree, knocking some nuts down on his head.
“Hey!” He looked up at her. She was sitting on a branch trying not to laugh. “You did that on purpose.”
She shook her head, a small smile breaking free. “No. I swear I didn’t.” She grinned, her hand finding the branch right above his head. “This is on purpose.” She shook the limb.
He covered his head with his arms as nuts rained down on him. Her laughter was warm and throaty. He struggled to maintain a straight face when the fall of cakaonuts ceased and he looked up again.
“You deserved that.” She was still smiling as she began to pick the cakaonuts from the tree.
He bent and started filling his bag. “Maybe, I did,” he muttered.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.” He’d finally found a tone and distance that she couldn’t hear.
“Hugh.”
“I’m not telling you what I said.”
“Get up here, now.”
She didn’t need to say it twice. He put the bag of cakaonuts between his teeth and pulled himself up onto the nearest branch.
“Keep moving,” she said. “Fast.” She had a spear drawn and ready.
He forced himself not to look back at whatever was coming. It’d only slow him down and that might cost him his life. Out here, he was more
rabbit than fox and running was his best option. After he’d climbed a few more branches she put her spear away and sat on the limb. He breathed a sigh of relief and climbed up by her.
He looked down. “Cold Creepers again.”
“Perhaps the same ones.”
There were two adults and five babies, although the babies weren’t all that tiny. They were over a foot long.
“How old are the young?” He sat down.
“Not sure. I’ve never seen them when they’re born and I’ve only seen a few this size. They’ll leave their parents soon, and most won’t make it long.”
The little family moved about eating the cakaonuts. The male stared up at them, his tongue flicking and tasting the air.
“How close to me was he?”
“Too close.” There was a slight hitch to her voice.
They sat in silence for a long time. So much had happened between them since the last time they’d been treed by Cold Creepers. He missed their friendship. He missed her.
“You were right.” Her voice was uneasy.
His heart skipped a beat. Was she going to confess her feelings for Jethro and admit he was right to call it quits between them? He wasn’t ready to hear that, but his only choice was to jump down and get eaten.
“I’m glad I didn’t kill the mother. Even if this isn’t her, I hope she’s alive with her babies somewhere.”
“Oh, yeah. That.” His heart resumed its normal pace.
“What did you think I meant?” She turned toward him.
He shrugged. He should’ve kept his mouth shut. He stared into the forest.
“I don’t know what to say to make it right between us,” she said softly. “Besides, I’m sorry.”
He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. Ready or not the time had come. “Don’t apologize.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
He swallowed around a lump in his throat. “I know.” His voice came out stronger than he’d expected. “You can’t help who you care about.” He tried not to look at her but his eyes kept darting between her and the forest. “I knew you still had feelings for Jethro before I kissed you.”
She shook her head.
“Don’t deny it. Don’t ever lie to me.” His gaze stopped on her. “I knew and I was okay with it. I thought...” He wouldn’t lie to her either. “I thought you had feelings for me too and that since we had an understanding you’d...well...” He was making a mess of this. He’d always been an arrogant fool. His lips turned up in a self-deprecating smile. “I thought you’d choose me.”
Her eyes widened, but she remained silent.
He looked away. He didn’t want to see her pity. “I guess what I really need to know is, did he hurt you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Good.”
The Cold Creepers were done eating, but seemed to have settled in for a nap. The babies curled up near the mother while the father continued to stand guard, eyeing their tree every now and again. It was going to be a long night trapped up here with her when all he wanted to do was beg her to love him.
“I don’t have feelings for Jethro,” she said quietly. “Unless hatred counts.”
“That’s a strong emotion.” He glanced at her, trying to squash the hope beating in his chest.
“Yes, it is, but I’ll never forgive him and...I never loved him, not really. I barely knew him. I loved the idea of him, not him.”
“And what do you feel for me?” His pulse raced as he stared down at the Creepers, happy in their family. “You know me.”
She didn’t answer.
“Fair enough.” His voice wasn’t steady this time. He was glad he hadn’t looked at her or she’d see the crushing pain that had to be visible in his eyes.
“Gaar said I should leave you alone unless I was sure.” She touched his arm. “And...I’m sorry but I’m not sure what I feel. We fight so much.”
He stared at her hand. He didn’t deserve her but that didn’t stop him from wanting her or from wanting her to want him. “Do you feel something for me?”
She nodded staring at her fingers.
“I can live with that.” He raised his eyes to hers as his hand slid to her neck. He lowered his face, his lips coming to within an inch from her when she turned away. He dropped his hand to his side and leaned back against the tree. Message received loud and clear.
“I...I have to tell you something.” Her voice quavered.
This was going to hurt. He nodded, his words stuck in his throat.
“Before Jethro captured me we traveled together. We were trying to escape the Tracker that no one had seen for a while and we ended up on the other side of Harbor Point.”
“How did you get over there?”
She explained about that day. “And when we went over the falls, he kissed me and I kissed him back.”
“Is that all?” He tried not to snarl.
“We were there for several days.” She stared at her hands in her lap. “We kissed a few more times.”
“Why are you telling me this?” He ran his hand through his hair. She wasn’t a cruel person but she was killing him with her confession.
“I...I thought you should know. It felt like a lie if you didn’t know.”
“Is that all you did? Kiss?” He held up his hand. “No. Don’t answer that.” He stared, lost in her golden eyes. “All I want to know is if you want to kiss him, be with him again?”
“No. I told you he was a dream, not real and...all we did was kiss. I swear.”
His heart slammed against his chest and his world seemed right again. She didn’t want Jethro. He had a chance. “If you want to...we can try again.”
Her eyes sparkled with hope. “You...you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“But I kissed Jethro after we kissed.”
“What happened in the past is the past.” He really wished she’d stop talking about it.
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Okay? No. But I’ve done more than kiss other females and—”
“I know that.”
He tried not to smile. She was jealous and he couldn’t be happier. “And you’ve had other boyfriends before me.”
“But I haven’t.”
“I wasn’t the first person you kissed.”
Her face flushed. “No, but I wouldn’t call any of them my boyfriend.”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t, but I’ll bet they considered you their girlfriend until you broke their hearts.” His eyes moved up and down her body, making her flush even more. “Gaar is wrong. I don’t want you to stay away from me until you decide how you feel.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m a grown man. I can handle it, but I’ll give you time to figure out how you feel.” He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to stay away from her but he’d try. He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across her smooth skin. If she gave him one instant, one chance, he’d wipe Jethro from her mind. “If you think you could one day care for me as a mate, I suggest you come over here.”
A mischievous look entered her eyes as she shifted closer until their lips almost touched. “Close enough.”
“No.”
She ran her hands up his chest and around his neck, leaning against him. “Now?”
“Better, but not close enough. Never close enough.” He lowered his head and wrapped his arms around her. He’d been wrong. Even if they were trapped up here all night, it wouldn’t be long enough.
CHAPTER 46: TRINITY
“I’LL TAKE THESE to the mess tent.” Gaar took the bag Trinity was carrying and headed across camp.
The two of them and Mirra had gone to one of the islands to gather food. It’d been a good day. Actually, the last few days had been better than good. She and Hugh had spent a lot of time together either in camp or in the woods. He was teaching her how to play poker and she was teaching him more about the forest.
Gaar stopped by Tatania w
ho sat with the other Handlers. She said something that made him laugh, taking years off his face. The two of them were getting close. Trinity wouldn’t be surprised if a baby Gaar made an appearance in the near future. Since Hugh wasn’t in the yard, she walked toward his tent, trying not to smile. Poker wasn’t the only thing he’d been teaching her. She still hadn’t said anything to her parents about her relationship with Hugh, so they had to sneak away to be alone. They didn’t do anything besides kiss, but the kissing was so good she never wanted to quit.
Voices came from the tent—Jackson’s, Dad’s, Hugh’s and... she stopped. The House Servants sent to check out the tunnels were back. Their temporary hiatus of peace was over. They’d be moving out soon. Tomorrow. The next day at the latest, unless there was a problem. She moved closer to listen. There were two tunnels that were no longer accessible but the backup route was close enough to their destination. Everything was in order. She should go inside and show her support, but she didn’t move. They’d all be leaving to fight. Some of them would die. Their side might lose. Tears burned at the back of her eyes as she turned and headed into the woods. The forest was dangerous but the creatures only hunted to eat, not because they hated or wanted to subjugate.
She climbed a tree. She had a view of the camp so she wasn’t actually alone. Hugh didn’t like her taking off by herself and she was trying to make him happy. It was hard. She’d been on her own for so long but his request was reasonable. He didn’t care if she went into the forest, just not alone. He preferred her to travel with Gaar or Mirra but didn’t fuss too much if she took one of the Guards or House Servants. Say sat in a tree not too far away, watching her. Hugh still refused to count Say as a companion for her. If he’d do that she’d almost never be alone.
She waved at Say and then turned back toward camp. She didn’t want this war, none of them did. She only wanted to live her life in peace. Jackson came outside, walked over to Gaar and the two of them went inside Hugh’s tent.
She wanted to race into the forest and leave this war behind her, but she couldn’t. All her friends were going to fight. She wasn’t scared of dying—living in the forest and being on the run these last few years kept death as a constant companion. She was afraid of living if something happened to someone she loved.