“Never have I ever been to Blackwell.” Jack says when it’s his turn, shooting me a mean look.
Haley starts to take a drink, and I stop her, but it’s too obvious, and Jade calls us out.
“Liam, looks like Haley wanted to drink on that one. Why’d you stop her?” She’s baiting me. Because she knows. That woman and her damn sixth sense.
Haley’s totally forgotten the white lie we’ve told the wedding party about how we met: when her car broke down on the Brooklyn bridge.
“Okay well, Haley never said this.” I backtrack. “But she came and visited me at one point when we started dating, in Blackwell.”
“Visited you?” Mr. Rosebaum retorts. “But I thought you were living in New York?”
“Oh,” I clear my throat. Fuck. I’m backtracking again. “I mean, we went and visited my roots. You know.”
I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, searing through me. I need to get my story straight.
“Never have I ever had a sister!” I say, trying to change the subject.
Everyone drinks. Except me.
“Well then, I think you’ve got to tell us a story!” Haley’s mom says. “That’s how the rules work, right? If you’re the only one who doesn’t drink you tell a story?”
I nod, and take a big pull of my drink, even though that’s not part of the rules. “Sure. I’ll tell you. I have one brother. He’s older. He’s a billionaire. He’s also kind of a dick.”
Zack spits out his drink. “Did you just say he’s a billionaire?”
I nod. “Did I stutter?”
“So why don’t you just have him set you up?” Jack quips. “Why even work as a mechanic?”
I give Harvard boy the dirtiest scowl I currently have available. “I ain’t taking no handouts. Even if my older brother is the billionaire bossman of Blackwell.”
“Ha! That’s a lot of B’s!” Haley chimes in. “I had no idea.”
“You didn’t even know Liam had a brother?” Jade asks. “And you’re engaged.”
Her tone is disdainful. Haley’s parents give us both a funny look.
Motherfucker. We’ve all got a good buzz rolling now, and it’s getting harder and harder to think before we speak.
Personally, I just want to take Haley to the tent and have my way with her. But the family’s having a fun time with the game. So I’ve got to play the part of the good fiancé.
“Like I said, my brother’s kind of a dick. So I don’t like talking about him a lot.”
“Fine, my turn.” Jade interjects, and I see a devilish look in her eyes.
The look worries me, I’m not going to lie. Calling on painful memories, I realize it’s the same damn look I saw in her eyes before she cheated on me years ago.
All eyes on Jade, she speaks, glaring at me. “Never have I ever been in love with Jade Rosebaum.”
Zack drinks. I don’t. Fuck the integrity of the game. Besides, I’m more sure than ever right now, that what I felt for Jade wasn’t love. Infatuation, maybe. Definitely not real, true love.
Jade keeps staring right at me.
Please, someone, jump right back in.
Haley smiles at me and puts her hand on my knee. She has no idea what’s going on, she’s totally in the dark on the glances Jade and I are exchanging. So is everyone else at the fire, I think. Maybe Zack knows, but he doesn’t look like the type to start shit.
I swallow. I want to tell Haley all about my past. Anything she wants to know.
But not here. Not now.
Zack starts to speak to take his turn, but Jade overrides him.
“Um, sorry Zack, I’m gonna have to stop you for the moment. I think we have a cheater.”
He recoils. “Oh yeah that’s right. You told me you used to...well I’ll let him explain.”
“Yes,” she says, her voice like daggers. “Liam, care to tell us why you didn’t drink? I mean, I assume since you are engaged, you’ve told Haley all about your past. A good couple shares everything, you know.”
Haley’s jaw drops and she pulls her hand away.
“Liam? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
My chest wells up with rage. Regret. And a melting pot of emotions I don’t understand.
“Dammit, Jade.” I sneer. “I wasn’t in love with you!”
“Liam!” Haley voice is panicked. “Do you mind telling me what the hell you’re talking about?”
Chapter Nineteen
Liam
The panic in Haley’s voice is palpable. That, I understand.
What I don’t understand is how Jade seems to relish in destroying me.
Yet, she tilts her head a little with a smirk, and I clench my fists.
She’s just one of those people who wants to watch the world burn, bystanders be damned.
“Liam.” Haley croaks. “Tell me what is going on!”
I take a deep breath, feeling her eyes on me, as well as the eyes of her parents.
And fucking Jack.
Remind me why he’s here again?
“Haley, this happened a long time ago. And I should have told you. But I never did. Your sister and I, we knew each other.”
Haley jumps to her feet and paces back and forth around the fire.
“You two ‘knew’ each other? What the fuck does that mean?”
“We knew each other. We dated.” I continue. “This was a long time ago. When I was in the military. Remember what I told you about being in the military. Well I may have left some things out.”
“You said you had a really bad experience in the military and fell apart. Is that not true?”
“Not exactly.”
Haley leers at me, her eyes burning like the fire. She chugs the rest of her solo cup full of whisky and throws it on the ground. Her parents look on at us, a little stunned. Jade just looks satisfied.
“Not fucking exactly!? Well then tell me, exactly what is going on? Exactly why is Jade saying you used to know her?”
“Because I did.” I say, standing up. “I knew Jade back in the day. We dated.”
When I say those words, Haley’s shoulders sink together, and she looks as though she’s had the life blown out of her.
“You…dated? You two?” She glances at me, then at Jade. “This is a joke, right? Some kind of practical joke?”
Jade smirks. Zack looks at her a little confused, but he doesn’t seem to hold the disdain that Haley does in her facial expression.
“So you fucked my sister. And you were in love with her. And you never told me?!”
“It’s not like that. I wanted to tell you.”
“Oh, okay. So you wanted to tell me?! Why didn’t you?”
I shrug. “I didn’t get the chance.”
She paces back and forth shaking her head. I give her a few seconds, and then try to put a hand on her shoulder.
“Haley, I…”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” She snaps, tears in her eyes. “I can’t do this anymore. I want to believe you, Liam. I want to, about…everything.”
I can feel the satisfied leer of Jade, as well as the judging looks of her parents. And Jack seems to be pretty satisfied, too.
My heart races with adrenaline. Why can’t she see, this was so long ago?
I put my hand on Haley’s back and lead her away from the campfire. I need her to hear what I have to say away from judgmental ears.
“Haley.” I whisper, my panic palpable in my voice. “You’ve got to realize. I wasn’t trying to hurt you by not telling you. I wanted to tell you all along, it’s just that…everything with us happened so fast.”
We stop, a safe distance from the ears of the fire. Pine trees are all around us, the naturalistic surrounding does little to comfort my overall state.
Haley faces me, presses her hand into my chest, and looks me in the eye. “So you were in love with my sister, before me?”
“It’s complicated.” I say. “I was young. I walked in on her…”
“Yes, or no!” She reitera
tes, raising her voice. “Were you or were you not?”
I nod. “At the time, I was.”
She digs her fingers into my chest, grabbing my t-shirt. Breaking eye contact off with me, she pushes me away.
“Dammit!” She says, shaking her head, teary eyed. “This is all such a fucked up coincidence. Of all the damn mechanics I could meet in the country, I ran into my sister's ex-lover.”
“I know. It’s crazy, it really is. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say how close I’ve come to feel to you in the last few days. Just think, if this is less than a week, what would happen if we stuck together?”
She glances up at me, supreme sadness in her eyes.
“I’m sorry Liam. This all happened like a whirlwind. I didn’t know what to think. But if we were together, I’d always feel like I was your second choice. And I just can’t.”
“Please, just give me a chance. I’ll—“
“Stop. Just stop!” She cuts me off. “This was a fun week. You’re a great lover, Liam. But I can’t be with you.”
She won’t look me in the eye, but I take a step toward her and grip her hip. “You’re just going to throw out the chance of us being together like that? Come on, Dagny.” I say her nickname in a low growl, hoping it will trigger her memories of us. “I…” my voice shakes.
“I fucking love you,” the words tumble out. I can’t hold them in. I’ve never been a beggar--ever--but if that’s what it takes to reason with her, that’s what I’ll do.
“There is no Dagny.” She sniffles, sweeping my hand away from her hip. It’s not lost on me that this is the first time she’s ever physically refuted me. My nostrils flare, and my pulse speeds. “Only Haley.”
My body tenses at the deja vu I’m experiencing.
Jade is destroying my life all over again. Just when I was thinking Haley might be a great one.
“Hey.” Haley’s dad says over our shoulder. “Do you two want to explain what’s going on?”
“No.” Haley mumbles. She flashes a look at me, and for the first time since after we hooked up, her face is tense. The firelight reflects off her eyes.
Her bitch shield is back up, firmly in place. And it’s my fault.
“Haley, just let me ex--”
“Dad.” she cuts me off. “Will you please take Liam to the bus stop? He’s going home early.”
“At this hour, honey? I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“I can hitchhike.” I murmur. “It’s fine.”
Her dad sighs. “Well fine. I’ll take you. I barely had any whisky. You young'uns drank it all.”
My eyes soften and I realize, there’s no plea I can make to Haley that will soften the blow she just took.
As ridiculous as a coincidence this is; I’ve fucked her sister. I’ve loved her sister. I’ve lost her sister.
And she doesn’t want to see me every day, a daily reminder of how everything she’s done in life, seems to come in second.
I can’t argue with the sadness in Haley’s eyes.
It gives me great pain to admit, but it’s my fault.
I go to the tent, grab my bag, and get into the car with Mr. Rosebaum.
After our fishing session, I expect some bonding moment on the way to the Greyhound bus station. But the man is silent.
He drops me off, and I take the one a.m. bus out of town, heading to Blackwell, leaving Haley forever.
As I look out the window of the bus in the middle of the night, I think of her.
Chapter Twenty
Haley
Two Weeks Later
“I’ll have a steak, medium rare. Hold the butter, no chives, does your steak come with chives?”
I hold my notepad in my palm as the middle aged man I’m waiting on finishes telling me his dinner order. Once I fill him in on the chives situation in the restaurant, he seems satisfied, and goes back to staring at his phone. I think he’s looking at Twitter, but I can’t be sure.
I head back, put his order in, and keep an eye on when my next table will be sat.
In the past two weeks, I’ve gotten a new job at a steakhouse, where the tips are about the same as my cocktailing job, and the hours are a little bit better. Hey, at least I get out before midnight in this gig. At my last job, I’d be making a killing, but most of that came from me having the twins on full display between the hours of midnight to three a.m.
I wait at the bar, watching Nate, our certified mixologist, make the double scotch on the rocks that my gentleman table ordered.
He comes up to me with a smile. Nate is good looking, twenty four, and makes a hell of an Old Fashioned. Yeah, the ladies are all over him.
“Hey there Red.” He says, calling me by the nickname I’ve garnered at the restaurant as a result of my hair. “Here’s the drink. And also, guy at the bar wants to know your name.”
He cocks his head in the direction of a man in a suit sitting on the corner of the bar opposite the drinks well.
“He does, does he? Well you tell him he’s got to try a little bit harder than that.” I say, giving Nate a smile and a dismissive wink.
He nods calmly, and puts the drink in front of me to bring to my table. “Sure thing Red. But hey, can I ask you a question? It’s a little personal.”
“Sure.” I say. I don’t know Nate that well, but he’s one of the more trustworthy people at my new job, my instinct tells me.
“Why don’t you want to talk to guys here? You’ve told us time and again how ‘single’ you are, yet you refuse to even take a guy’s name. And look, I’m not hitting on you. Let’s get that out of the way. I’m just a curious bystander.”
I tilt my head, take a breath, and half-roll my eyes at Nate. If any other guy were asking me, I’d probably get defensive. But Nate definitely isn’t hitting on me. On the contrary, he’s fighting them off himself.
“I’m just not into dating right now,” I say. “I’m enjoying my single life.”
“But isn’t that how you enjoy your single life? A little innocent flirting with a hot guy at the bar? Look, I’m not making accusations here, to be clear. I’m just a student of life, Haley. I’ve worked here for two years, and I’ve seen plenty of waitresses come and go. You’re hot—if you don’t mind me saying. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and what’s more, you’ve just got this aura about you. I can’t put my finger on it exactly. But you’re in demand. That’s for sure. I guess you’ve been working here for two weeks, and I usually have the waitresses figured out by day two. You, Haley, are a mystery.”
“Thanks.” I grin, snatching the drink from the well. I walk away without giving him an answer, even though there’s a lot of truth to his statement.
Nothing like a perceptive bartender to nail your psyche from a mile away.
“Here you are Sir, double scotch on the rocks.”
“Thanks.” he says without looking up from his phone.
I sigh as I look at the next couple who files into the restaurant. They are older, probably retired.
They reach across the booth and hold hands.
I’m mesmerized. I can’t help but wonder what they’ve been through. After the five day heavy duty romance I had with Liam, I’m torn between two polar opposite thoughts about relationships.
A big part of me feels as if all relationships are a big sham. They’re all built on false truth and false hope.
Liam showed me that, just from the fact that I was his second choice.
Maybe it’s not his fault. It could be just one hell of a coincidence that his past love was my sister.
But to look at him every day, and remember how he’d been in love with—presumably made love to—my sister, I couldn’t do it.
I head back to chat with Nate, the bartender. He’s got an examining look on his face.
“Mr. Sexy Suit at the bar just gave me his number.” He says, sliding a piece of paper across the bar to me with a wink. “You sure you don’t want to reconsider?”
I sigh and look at the man in a s
uit. He’s everything a normal girl in her twenties should want. He’s young, in a suit, probably has a six figure income or more. He’s handsome and, from the look of the smirk on his face, a little cocky, just like I prefer.
So why am I incredibly indifferent?
“Thanks, but no thanks, Nate.” I say.
I head over to greet the older couple. I say my spiel and they order like normal, but they also start asking me questions. “So where are you from, honey?”
“Oh I’m from here, basically. I’ve lived in New York forever.”
“Oh that’s nice!” The older woman says. “We’re from a small town on the coast. Just in the big city for the weekend.”
I sigh and smile warmly. There’s only one person I think of when the subject of “small town romances” is brought up with me at this point. And that is Liam. And the fact that we’ll never be together.
In spite of the fact that he gave me more orgasms over the course of just five days than I had the entire year before.
I shudder, because I hate thinking about it. But I’ll never get over his past deeds, it’s just the truth.
After my shift, I take the subway home late, like usual. The subways of New York is like watching a live show, every time. I see a college age couple making out, a guy juggling milk cartons and asking for donations, and a blind man walking through as well.
All in a night’s work.
When I find my apartment at one a.m., it’s still noisy outside. Someone is shouting about how ‘Martha you damn well better not drive home!’ Ugh. I don’t even want to know.
I put the lock into my key, and I notice there’s an envelope taped to my door. I grab it, and once I get inside I open it.
Dear Ms. Rosebaum,
Please be aware that we will be terminating your lease contract should we not see our rent check for $1,800 within five days. You are already past due.
Thank you,
Management
I crinkle the note in my hand. This wasn’t the news I needed right now. This, in combination with my damn student loan payments are just killing me.
Mechanic with Benefits Page 14